Disclaimer: The characters in this fic are the property of Joss Whedon, 20th Century Fox et al. No copyright infringment intended.

Acknowledgments: David Greenwalt and Jeannine Renshaw for the episode IWRY which inspired me to start writing.

Timeline: We all know that Angel would have saved Buffy at the end of season 5 if only Joss had let him be there. Forget Dawn, she's been shipped off to live with her dad. This is the first story in a long running saga which I write continually, so lots more to come!

Dedicated to all B/A shippers everywhere, but especially to those wonderful guys at Buffysearch who keep me going! I love you. AW xx

Buffy Summers hated hospitals. Visiting people was bad enough, but being a patient in one really freaked her.

Her head throbbed, her whole body ached, but she had to get out of there, even if it was against doctors orders.

"Knock knock, its only me." sang out Giles.

"Come in Giles, I'm just about ready to go" Buffy said as she painfully put on her rather bedraggled leather jacket.

"Buffy, what are you doing, you can't leave yet." exclaimed Giles.

"Giles, I can't stand being in here another minute, a few days R and R and I'll be back to my usual Slayery self. I'll even let you run around making cups of tea and feeding me up with scones if it makes you happy". Buffy smiled at the look of despair on his face.

"I suppose there's no point in arguing with you, but you really need to take it easy after all you've been through." Giles replied.

"How are the others? I've been really worried about them." Buffy asked as they walked out into the corridor.

"Well, since we last spoke, they're all on the mend and Angels crew have returned to LA.

"And is there any news of Angel?" she asked quietly.

"I'm sorry Buffy, no-ones heard anything, but you know that old saying: No news is good...." he trailed off.

"Yeah, right, I know" said Buffy. "But he was really badly hurt Giles, he didn't say anything, but I could see it in his eyes as he carried me in here. Then I passed out and I've no idea where he went. If he was ok, I'm certain he would have come to visit me."

"He's probably just holed up somewhere whilst he heals up." offered Giles.

They both fell silent and walked towards the elevator.

"Hey!" a voice called out. "Good to see you up and about Miss."

They both turned to see a janitor mopping the floor and smiling at them.

"That night you were brought in is one I won't be forgetting in a hurry. It was like all Hell broke loose." he grinned.

"Yeah, you could say that." Buffy replied looking at Giles who was trying not to smile.

"How's that guy who brought you in? He left a trail of blood all the way from reception.Boy he was holding on so tightly to you they practically had to prize you out of his arms.He was so worried about you, he never took his eyes off you once while he was giving the nurse your details," he said.

"Did you see where he went after that?" asked Buffy, her heart beginning to beat harder.

"No, I was too busy cleaning up. It sure was a long night. You could ask at the desk over there" he pointed"See the nurse with the dark hair, she was working that night, she might remember."

"Thankyou" said Giles. He turned to see Buffy was already quizzing the nurse, and he joined her.

"Yeah, we found a young man on the stair well that night. He was unconscious and bleeding badly. He had no ID on him. You think maybe he was a friend of yours?" she asked.

Buffy shrugged and looked over at Giles.

"Well, wer'e not sure, where is he now?" he asked the nurse.

"Lets see, he had emergency surgery, then went up to ICU. If you go up 2 more floors and speak to the staff there, they may have more information." the nurse replied.

Buffy shook her head "There's no point Giles, we know it can't possibly be Angel."

She turned and began to walk away.

"Excuse me" called the nurse "I forgot to mention, it says on his card that he has a large tattoo under his shoulder. Is that any help?"Buffy paled, and for one moment Giles thought she was about to collapse. He took her arm and led her to the elevator. She did not speak as they made their way up to the ICU.

When they arrived, Buffy stood motionless as Giles spoke quietly to one of the nursing staff.

There were four beds in the dimly lit room, but Buffy could not focus on any of them.   

The silence was only punctuated by the sounds of various machines constantly monitoring the status of the unfortunate occupants there.Buffy felt as if her head was going to explode, she was finding it difficult to breathe and had an almost overwhelming desire to run from this place. What were they doing here? It was almost laughable. There was no way Angel could be in here. A vampire with no heartbeat in an ICU?

She felt Gile's hand on her shoulder, and he pointed to a bed.

"He's over there." Giles whispered.

"You know this is useless" murmured Buffy, but she followed Giles over. Buffys hand flew to her mouth as she stared in disbelief at the figure in the bed. Tubes seemed to be everywhere. A ventilator worked tirelessly next to him, and the heart monitor showed a slow but steady rhythm. She looked down at that face she knew so well, battered and bruised though it was, it was still his face.

Giles helped her down into a chair, and for a few moments she just sat and stared. Then, very gently, she took Angel's hand in hers. It was warm, and for a split second she had an intense feeling of deja-vu, of their hands entwining just like this.

"I'll leave you for a while." Giles murmured, and went back over to talk with the nurse.

"Its a wonder he's alive" the petite blonde nurse said to Giles. "He wasn't expected to survive surgery. His heart had stopped beating before they got him on the table."

"Did anything unusual happen during the operation?" asked Giles.

"What do you mean?" she asked in a low voice.

"Is there anything you can tell me about it, however, strange it may sound."mumbled Giles.

"Well, there is a rumour going around about that. My friend works in the OR and she told me that during surgery, his eyes flew open and his whole body seemed to be bathed in light. Then, his heart started beating. Weird huh?". They don't expect him to recover without brain damage, his heart had been stopped for too long. Its such a shame." the nurse shook her head.

"Thank you, you've been a great help" said Giles.He stood back, wanting to give Buffy some breathing space before imparting the news. He would have to ring Wesley as soon as possible, but the two Watchers had already discussed this before. Had this been Angel's final battle? Had that been the apocalypse to end them all? Had Angel achieved his long sought for redemption? For Buffys sake he hoped so.

Tears were flowing softly down Buffys face as she held Angel's hand. Gently she stroked his face, then lay her cheek against his.

"Once again you saved my life." she whispered. "Now I have to try to save yours."

Buffy lay her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and once again had the sense that this was not the first time that she had lain like this.

Buffy felt a slight movement, and lifted her head towards Angel's face. 

His eyes were open, and they looked straight into hers.

He groaned under the mask covering his face.

"Shhh, don't try to talk. You're ok, and wer'e together and thats all that matters".

Were had those words come from? She felt like she had said them before, in another time, another place.

"I'll never forget"

In an instant she remembered, remembered it all. It washed over her in waves, pounding her senses relentlessly.

She looked at Angel in awe and disbelief, her mind frantically trying to process this forgotten information which would now have such an impact on both their lives.

His eyes were no longer open, and the nurse hurried over.

"What just happened?" she asked as she checked the monitors, "His Bp and heart rate just shot up."

"He...He opened his eyes for a moment, that's all and..." Buffy suddenly felt panic stricken. "Giles, please, I want to go." she said looking tearfully over at him.

"Well, yes, of course, if that's what you wish, its just I thought you would want to stay with him" he replied. Buffy fled the room.

"We will call back tomorrow." Giles said to the nurse who was fussing around Angel's monitors and looking worried.

Buffy could not sleep. She had related the events of that 'forgotten day' to Giles, well most of them anyway.

Some things are too private to share with even your closest friends. She was re-living them now though, as she lay alone on her bed. Moment by moment,over and over. Every word, every touch.

It was unbearably painful and joyous at the same time.

She wanted to curl up in a ball and stay there forever, the guilt, sadness, joy and rapture alternately washing over her.

What was to become of them now? Would he once again try to give it all up thinking he was saving her?

So much had happened since that day, it seemed impossible to think that they could ever be together again.

Emotionally drained and exhausted , she drifted off into a fitful slumber filled with images of their past.

When Buffy walked in to the ICU the next day, someone was already seated at Angel's bedside.

As Buffy approached, she realised it was Cordelia.

Cordelia turned, and Buffy took in the tearstained face and saw that she was holding Angel's hand.

For one brief moment, Buffy was overcome with jealousy.

"Oh God, Buffy, I can't believe it! I was going frantic wondering where he was" said Cordelia when she noticed her.

"Giles rang Wes, and he told me, and I ..." she sobbed. Cordelia pressed Angel's hand to her cheek "I'll take care of you Angel, like you've taken care of me. Everything will be ok. You have to get better, please Angel, we need you."

Angels hand twitched in hers, and she cried out. "Buffy! He moved! Look, he's trying to hold my hand! Nurse, quickly, he moved!" shouted Cordelia..

Buffy held her breath as she watched Angel's hand tighten around Cordelia's. His other hand went up to his mask and was trying to remove it.

The nurse hurried over "You'll have to wait outside for a while, I've paged the doctor and he's on his way" she said pushing them out.Buffy and Cordelia backed out of the room, neither wanting to leave. As they left Buffy was certain she heard him say her name.

She decided then she could not see him again, for both their sakes.

Two months later.   

"Buffy you have to go."

"No Will, I don't, I can't." Buffy said.

"But Cordelia said it was urgent, she really needs to see you, to talk to you." Willow replied. "Please Buffy, it looks bad all round that you haven't been to see him. He saved your life, averted a major apocalypse, and, plus, he's now human. I can't understand why you should be acting this way. Is there something you haven't told me, cos this forgotten day thing, I don't buy it, its no excuse for never seeing him again." she glared at Buffy.

Buffy stayed silent.

"C'mon Buffy, you've been all mopey since this happened, you know you want to see him" she grinned.

"I think Cordy and Angel are....in love" said Buffy.

"No way!" cried Willow "Its more like a brother sister thing you know, or a Buffy and Xander thing. Its a different kind of love".

"I'm not so sure" Buffy replied.

"Well I am, he needs you Buffy. Go, please?" Willow begged.

As soon as Buffy left, Willow made a phone call to LA. When the conversation was over, Cordelia replaced the handset and smiled.

Buffy had forgotten how persuasive her friend could be, and that was the only reason she found herself entering the hotel that Angel used as his offices and home.

"Buffy, its lovely to see you, how are you?" Wesley greeted her like a long lost friend "I imagine your Slayer duties have kept you away." he gushed.

" Er, yes, thats right." she mumbled "How is Angel?"

"Well, its taken some time, but he's gradually getting a little strength back. Now he's been allowed out of hospital, Cordelia is feeding him up. In fact she's just popped out to the store for more chocolate and peanut butter. They seem to be his favourites!" Wesley grinned.

Buffy felt herself going hot all over "Maybe I should call back later" she stammered.

"No, no, stay please! We've even made a room up for you, and Cordy will be upset if she misses you" he insisted. "Perhaps you would like to pop up and see Angel, but don't be surprised if he's sleeping, he still gets tired easily" he added..

"Ok" agreed Buffy and followed him to Angel's room.

Wesley knocked gently, and hearing no reply quietly opened the door.

"Yes, he's nodded off again, we'll come back later shall we?" whispered Wesley.

"Do you, I  mean, would it be ok if I just sat with him for a few minutes? I won't disturb him" she murmured.

"Well of course. I'll bring you some tea if you like" he replied quietly.

"Thank you " said Buffy, and she silently closed the door.

Angel was laid sleeping on the bed. The room was warm, the sunlight streaming through the window fell directly on to him, which made Buffy smile.

He had thrown off the covers, and Buffy experienced a familiar warm tingle at the sight of his naked muscular chest.

He looked so beautiful laying there, and Buffy felt a lump in her throat. She was afraid to wake him, but she longed to be nearer to him. Very gently she sat on the bed next to him, and realised she was shaking slightly.

She so wanted to hold him, but knew that could not happen. If they ever got close again, it would only get them killed.

Angel had the chance for a normal life now, and that's more than could be said for her. Human or vampire, no matter how they felt, it was never going to  work.

Tears slid slowly down Buffy's face as she closed her eyes against all the pain and sadness taking her over.

"Buffy, is that you, or am I still dreaming?" murmured Angel. He reached out to touch her face, finding it wet with tears.

She turned towards him and their eyes met.

"Shhhhh, don't cry Buffy, please, please" Angel's voice cracked. He brought her head down to his chest and held her close to him.    

Neither of them noticed the door open slightly. They did not see Cordelia glance into the room, then quietly close the door again.   

"Well?" asked Wesley almost bursting with curiosity.

"I somehow don't think they'll be wanting the tea yet Wesley, but it was a good excuse for me to use just in case." grinned Cordelia.

"That grin isn't because you caught them, well, you know?" whispered Wesley.

"Wesley! It is not! hissed Cordelia "And anyway Angel is still too weak for that....or maybe not....but they have some real issues to work out before that happens."

"Don't worry, Willow and I have a plan, and with  Tara's help we may just pull it off. Angel will be back to his old self in no time" he remarked.

"So, you're planning on making him all ggrr again? I don't get it" she said.

"No, of course not silly. Angel will still be human, but he will regain his vampiric strength and healing abilities" smiled Wesley.

"Oh, I get it, then he and Buffy will be on equal terms, and they will be like a Dynamic Duo" laughed Cordelia..

"Precisely" he  grinned   

"Oh my God Wes, what if she doesn't love him anymore? What if we've got it all wrong? We are gonna look so stupid" Cordelia said shaking her head.

"If those two are not in love, I'll eat my hat" declared Wesley.

"You British certainly have some weird sayings" laughed Cordelia. "But I'm with you on that one!" "Now who gets to give them the good news?" she asked excitedly.

I think it can wait until morning" said Wesley " I am sure they already have lots to discuss" .

"Yeah, like how me and Angel are soooo in love!" laughed Cordelia. "As if!"

Two weeks later.
   
It was the morning after Willow and Tara had performed the spell to restore Angel's strength. Buffy and Angel were laid side by side on the carpet feeding each other strawberries dipped in chocolate. 

"How do we know the spell really worked?" asked Buffy grinning wickedly at Angel.

"Well, we could have a fight" teased Angel.

"But I always beat you anyway" boasted Buffy.

"Yeah, well maybe this time I'll win!" laughed Angel grabbing her swiftly and pinning her to the floor.

"Maybe I want you to" murmured Buffy as she pulled his face close to hers and kissed him.

Angel looked into her eyes and saw the hunger there that matched his own.

For some reason he felt like a nervous schoolboy.

How long had he waited for this moment? How many nights had he laid fitfully dreaming of once again taking her in his arms and claiming her for his own?

Now that moment had finally arrived and he found himself shaking, not knowing where to start, not knowing if once he did would he be able to control all the need that had been burning up inside him for so long.

She sensed this and gently touched his cheek, giving him a reassuring smile, telling him in unspoken words that she too felt the same.He took her by the hand and they both slowly got to their feet, then he picked her up and carried her to the bed, never once taking his gaze from hers.

For a few moments all they could do was hold one another as their hearts beat rapidly in unison.

Then very slowly and very gently Angel's lips met hers in a long lingering kiss. Buffy felt as if she were melting into the bed as the kiss deepened and the desire to touch, to feel, threatened to overwhelm them both.

They were like two starving people devouring a meal which they had hungered too long for.

This first frenzied union was only sufficient to take the edge off their appetite, leaving them breathless with anticipation for the banquet of delights yet to come.

They wanted to stay in that room forever, neither of them needing any other nourishment than the love they fed one another over and over.

If only it were possible to completely escape from reality, to stay safe and warm together, away from all the vampires, the demons and the darkness. Forget who they were and all they stood for and just spend eternity making up for lost time.

Unfortunately that is the stuff that dreams are made of, and all too soon, the real world beckoned them once again.

Six Months later

"So how are you?" asked Angel as he and Buffy had their usual nightly telephone conversation.

"I think you know the answer to that one" she replied.

"Yeah" he murmured "It's hard"

"I don't think I can do this anymore" she said "I'm going nuts here. We hardly ever see one another and when we do it's so..."

"Intense?" he offered "I know, but what else can we do?".

"We can carry on as we are, live our lives being ruled by destiny" she answered "We fulfil our sacred duty and spend the rest of our days living apart and being miserable".

"And that's the best case scenario?" asked Angel.

"Or" she continued "We could come to some other arrangement".

"Like what?" he questioned.

"One that keeps everybody happy" she replied.

"Is there such a thing?" he queried.

"I need to speak to Giles" said Buffy "I'll call you tomorrow and let you know how it goes".

"Hope you know what you're doing" said Angel.

"Do you want us to be together?" she asked.

"You know I do, but not at the cost of..."

"Yeah, other peoples lives" she interrupted "And what about our lives Angel? Don't we ever get to have one?"

She was met by silence.

"I'll speak to you soon" said Buffy and she replaced the receiver.

"Well well, this is an unexpected pleasure" said Spike as Buffy walked 
into his crypt "Don't get many visitors" he smiled.

"I need to ask you something" said Buffy.

"Ask away then Slayer" he replied gesturing her to take a seat.

"I want you to take my place" she said looking straight at him.

"Thats very generous, but I kinda like it here" he replied looking around him "Not that a few home comforts would'nt come amiss but.."

"Not my house" she interrupted "My place as the Slayer".

"Are you stoned?" laughed Spike "Number one, I'm a vampire and number two I'm not a cute blonde haired female. Two facts that could'nt possibly have escaped your attention after all this time".

She got up and walked towards him "I have to get away Spike, and I can't do that unless I know I can trust somebody to take care of things for me".

"You're leaving?" he asked in amazement "Soul Boy talked you into going did'nt he?".

"No, Angel does'nt know about any of this" replied Buffy.

"Just because the hellmouth is sealed for now does'nt mean you can just swan off" said Spike angrily "Your place is here fighting the bad guys".

"My place is with the man I love" she replied "And LA has more than its fair share of bad guys".

"Giles won't let you leave" he said shaking his head.

"I already have his blessing" she answered "Now all I need is yours".

Spike turned away from her and she put her hands on his shoulders slowly turning him back to face her.

"Angel and I have been given a second chance Spike, and if we don't take it, this time we could lose each other for good" she said.

"And what about your sacred duty?" he asked "Forgotten all about that have we?" He saw the look of despair in her eyes and gently touched her cheek with his fingertips "Christ, the only reason I stay here is to be near you, you know that" he murmured "You're the only thing I care about".   

"Do you care enough to let me go, let me be truly happy for once in my life? Do you care enough to carry on the fight against evil, to be something more than just a monster?" she asked "Because you already are much more than that Spike. I trust you, I care about you, but it's Angel I love" she added "But the decision is yours, I can't leave if you don't promise to stay and help Giles protect this town for me".

"And if I say no?" queried Spike searching her face.

"Then I remain here" she answered quietly.

"Unhappy and unfulfilled?" remarked Spike. Buffy gave him no reply.

Spike closed his eyes and sighed deeply before opening them again and giving her a half smile.

"So, does this mean that Giles is my Watcher then, cos I don't like taking orders from anybody but you".

Buffy hugged him as her eyes filled with tears "Humour him" she smiled.

"I'll miss you" he said as he gently wiped her face with his thumb "And if that Irish git mistreats you, you know where to come".

"He won't" laughed Buffy "But thanks anyway, thanks for everything. Be seeing you" she said as she kissed him on the cheek and turned to leave.

"You can count on it" he said as she pushed open the entrance to the crypt and was gone.

Buffy had often had dreams in the past, well nightmares to be precise, many of which had come true in one way or another.

But this was the dream she had always loved the most, and now she was actually living it.

Their first year of living together had gone so quickly it was almost a blur, which only went to prove that some of Gile's quaint British sayings were often very true.

'Time flies when you're having fun' She could almost hear him saying it, and she smiled in her sleep. She wondered how he and Spike were getting along.

The past twelve months had been a voyage of discovery for both herself and Angel.

There was so much to say, so many things to tell one another that had never been spoken of in the past.

Time was always an issue between them because there had never been enough. Now there was, and nothing had to be rushed. There was no longer a need for urgency, no longer a need to fear the sunrise and the clock governed only what they wished it to.

Every day had brought something new to their relationship.

The thrill of fighting side by side again, the simple joy of sitting in the sun together and the previously unexperienced pleasures they gave to one another had made them closer that they ever believed was possible.

But not as close as they were feeling right now.

Buffy opened her eyes to see Angel smiling at her as she lay in a hospital bed. She groaned as she remembered what she had been through only a couple of hours previous.

"How do you feel?" he asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Mmmm, it was'nt as bad as I thought it would be" she replied.

"You should have had my view" he remarked.

Buffy pulled a face at the thought of it.

"So, do you still love me?" she asked

"Forever" he replied taking her hand in his.

"More than anything in the whole world? she teased.

"Almost anything" he said kissing her gently.

"Should I be jealous then? she asked, returning his kiss.

"No, this other one is a different kind of love, one I thought I would never get the chance to share" he smiled .

"He has his daddy's eyes, beautiful velvet pools" murmured Buffy.

"And your mouth" observed Angel.

"I'm scared Angel, everything is so perfect, I keep thinking I'm going to wake up one day and all this will have been a dream." she said.

"Its not perfect" he replied.

Buffy looked alarmed "Why, what's wrong?" she asked.   

Angel lifted their baby son up and looked at her.

"I think somebody needs changing!"

On to The Cradle Will Fall