It Can Wait For Now

Buffyspaljulie

Disclaimer - I don't own them, if i did buffy would still be with Angel and he'd be human !!!!

Part 1

LA- Angel's new office

Angel sat on his leather chair in his office. The room was dark except for the light from the office behind him and the moonlight from outside, it shone on him illuminating his pale skin that contrasted with his dark coloured clothes, soft brown hair and deep brown eyes.

Shifting from his still and thoughtful position he opens the top desk drawer and pulls out a brown hardback book from it. Sitting back again he opens the book and pulls out a black and white photograph of a beautiful young woman....the photograph is of Buffy.

He fixes his eyes on the photograph, soon they begin to fill with tears and they begin to fall down his cheeks.

Cordelia stood looking in on Angel, she could see the tears rolling down his cheek as the light reflected off them.

"This is ridiculous" Cordelia complained looking at her boss and now best friend.

"I have images of one day coming in and finding a pile of dust sitting on that chair"

"He's in pain Cordelia" Wesley noted while peering out over his book.

" I didn't know vampires could even cry."

"I'm sure he's not the only one in pain." Wesley added.

Buffy looked out over a blue sky and a never-ending horizon. There was a slight breeze that blew a few loose strands of blond hair into her eyes. She felt those goose bumps on the back of her neck, those goose bumps that only appeared when Angel was near, goose bumps that felt amazing, but it was day and she was in the sunlight, she whipped around in confusion and scanned the crowd. There he was walking towards her, a mix of emotion flowed over her, confusion and shock that he was here, here in the day, then fear that if he walked any further he'd be in direct sunlight and nothing but a pile of dust, but he walked further into the sunlight and nothing but a smile appeared on his face. As Angel walked closer Buffy felt her heart thumping faster and faster in her chest, Angel grabbed her by the waist and pulled her towards him and pressed his lips on hers, Buffy put her hands around the back of his head pulling him closer and deepening the kiss, hoping that the more she pulled him towards her the closer they would get and the harder it would be for him to stop. All the wanting and pain that had built up in each of them since Angel's departure after graduation all those months ago was suddenly poured into that moment and replaced with love and a mutual belonging.

"Buffy?" Willow asked

"Helloooo " she said while clicking her fingers in front of Buffy`s eyes

"Yeah. Hi!" Buffy chirped coming out of her dream

"Where were you just then?" Riley asked looking concerned at his girlfriend.

"Um...I don't know" She didn't, one minute she was drinking a cup of coffee with her friends the next she was kissing Angel.... in the sunlight, not a foreign concept for her, she'd dreamt of kissing Angel in the sunlight for years, all of them seeming real but never were, but this time it was real she couldn't explain it but it threw her, her heart was racing and she had a sense of déjà vu for some weird reason.

"Well if you click your heels maybe you'll return home Dorothy" Xander butted in. Buffy smiled at him, however he was right maybe she should go home get some sleep, maybe she'd had too many cups of coffee.

"I'm gonna head home here guys" Buffy announced rising from the table.

"You okay Buffy?"

"Yeah Will. Just tired I guess."

Riley went to get up to join her but she stopped him.

"No it's okay Riley. I'm just gonna go to sleep"

"You sure you don't want any company?" he asked raising his eyebrows. That was actually the last thing she wanted right now, with him anyway.

"Actually I'd prefer.."

"It's okay" Riley butted out over her. She gave a fake smile that Willow picked up on but overlooked it none the less.

As Buffy walked home to her dorm she passed the cinema, a smile drew across her face at remembrance of when her and Angel went to see " the film about food". She felt guilty for some uncanny reason, she felt guilty for thinking about Angel like this when she had Riley, the normal guy that Angel wanted her to have, she felt guilty for being with Riley when Angel was only a few hours drive away, the one she promised her heart to, but she felt guilty for the vivid dream she had earlier, it was a only a dream why should she feel guilty for something she couldn't help, a "dream" that made her heart pound in her chest, send shudders down her spine and fill her with bliss and relief at once in just one kiss , something Riley couldn't do in "reality", not that she didn't like it when Riley kissed her... it just wasn't the same... it wasn't Angel. She walked in her dorm; lay down on the bed with a sigh of relief, she looked over at the alarm clock and saw the cross Angel had given her on one of first of many meetings hanging off the bed post behind Mr Gordo. She smiled and lifted Mr Gordo and hugged it, it always reminded her of when Angel was looking at him in her bedroom at night, in some ways Mr Gordo was a connection to him and she refused to leave without it.

LA- Cordelias house

Wesley is sitting in Cordelias dining room with piles of books all over the table, Cordelia is hovering around, and she has Angel's scroll in her hands and looks deep in thought.

"Do you think we should let Buffy know?" she asked

"I don't know, if Angel wanted Buffy to know he would have done it by now."

"Yeah, if we wait for him to find the guts to do it we'll be here until the next Christmas and that's if we're lucky"

"I suppose" he replied knowing she was right

"I just feel..you know? We save all these people who are in pain and need help everyday, while the person in real pain is our best friend and he just goes through it. Alone." Cordelia just wanted to help him and Buffy was the thing to help him. Cordelia and Buffy had never got along but with working with Angel she had found some respect and appreciation towards her, all that Buffy went through every day and she had hassled her about it. She saw how cut up Angel was and knew that it was nothing compared to the pain he really was in, and only showed it in private and she realised that this is what Buffy was going through as well. For the first time she became conscious of the fact that the two belonged together and it frustrated her not doing anything about it.

"I just..I feel helpless." Cordelia spat out taking her anger out on the ex-watcher.

"I know"

"That stupid happiness thing I mean, what's with that?"

" They probably never thought anyone would love a vampire so.. it seemed the best thing to do at the time. What the two of them shared that time ...is ..well its probably one of the rarest things, complete happiness, a soul mate that you love with every inch of your heart...that is something so many people look for and ...most never find"

"God" Cordelia shouted chucking the scroll on the table beside Wesley. He smiled up at her.

"What?"

"You, back in Sunnydale you didn't seem to care whether or not Buffy and Angel were together or not. You've changed" Wesley really had noticed a change in her, he thought it was either her new power that allowed her to show some compassion to others, Doyle's sudden death or the fact she had matured a bit, but she was still old Cordy deep down no matter what.

Cordelia calmed down and looked at him " Everybody's changed, that's probably the problem." She chuckled and smiled back at him "God, who would have thought it, a watcher helping his ex- slayers vampire ex- boyfriend."

Wesley looked down Cordelias hall and saw the door to the bedroom to which his friend and boss who he trusted with his life was lying sleeping. He looked down at the scroll sitting on the table and felt the helplessness and frustration that Cordelia was feeling too.

"Do you still keep in contact with Willow?"

"Yeah, actually we were talking about meeting up or something. Why?" Cordelia answered

"Ring her" Wesley sat at the table and started researching through his books that were scattered across the table,

"Ask her and her friend to research any spell book they can get their hands on"

"Huh?" Cordelia was confused, what did Wesley need with Willow and Tara

"and Cordelia tell her not to tell Buffy" As Cordelia went and got her phone Wesley explained what he planned for Cordelia, Willow, Tara and himself.

Buffy has her head on Angel's chest; his arm is wrapped around her with a firm but yet gentle hold. She ran her hand over his chest and stopped over his heart. Buffy could feel the vibrations of his heart beat go straight through her.

"It's a good sound. Thump-thump Thump-thump" it was a good sound and a good feeling.

Willow gently opened her dorm door and saw Buffy lying on the bed hugging Mr Gordo sleeping with a massive grin on her face. Willow automatically assumed she was dreaming of Riley and so disregarded it.

She gently lay down on the bed and pulled out a magic book, her concentration however was broke by the sound of Buffy struggling to breathe. Willow looked over to see a tear rolling down Buffy's cheek.

"No. No, it's not enough time" Buffy whispered through cries which now had become painful sobs, yet it was loud enough for Willow to hear, Willow couldn't help but feel upset for her best friend, she seemed upset about something.

"We don't have a choice. It's done" Buffy's heart sank and broke into a million pieces as Angel said this, she could hear the pain and heart ache in his trembling voice as well. Buffy couldn't fix it, she'd fought demons, saved the world on numerous accounts and yet she was finding it hard to fight back her emotions, her tears and utter helplessness to saving this, her relationship with her soul mate, her other half that completed her, her love.

"How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had? What we could have had?" Exactly, how was she meant to, it was going to kill her...literally.

"You won't. No one will but me"

"Everything that we did"

"It never happened" something in Buffy broke, her heart more than likely, again, but the tears poured down her cheeks.

"It did. It did. I know it did" she sobbed and shook her head in denial. Angel had tears running down his cheeks, he was in the same agony as Buffy, he didn't want to let go the most precious thing he had ever encountered in all his 250 years that he had walked on this earth.

She placed her hand on Angel's chest again and felt the rhythmic pumping of his heart for the very last time. She wanted to remember this until the day she died.

"I felt your heart beat" Willow jumped up, at Buffy's whisper as she sobbed even harder in her sleep. Willow now grasped that Buffy was dreaming of Angel. Buffy dreamt of Angel sometimes, actually regularly, but she'd never seen her like this, this wasn't a dream it was too vivid, too emotional, too real for it to be mistaken for a run of the mill dream. She leant forward to see if Buffy was okay

"No I'll never forget, I'll never forget" Buffy cried this time a little louder than before and this time filled with more pain. Willow could feel a lump form in her throat, She knew it was Angel she was dreaming about, but she mentioned a heartbeat?

The phone rang breaking the silence that had filled the room; Willow lifted the phone as Buffy jumped up wide-eyed and breathless.

"Hello" Willow asked looking at Buffy to see if she was okay, in which she clearly wasn't.

"Hey Willow. How are you?"

"Cordy Hi." Willow said a little shocked.

Buffy felt drained and confused, she looked at Willow uncomfortably; she needed to get some air. When she heard Willow acknowledge Cordelia more tears surfaced in Buffy's eyes, she wanted to talk to her but couldn't.

"Willow can we talk?" Cordelia asked.

"Sure" she replied. Buffy grabbed her jacket and smiled at Willow.

"I'm going to get some air" she said and left.

"Is Buffy there?"

"No Cordy she just left, you need her? Is Angel in trouble?"

"NO No, actually I was hoping she'd left" Cordelia didn't know where to start,

"Willow, how are you and Tara going with the magic witch thingy"

Willow smiled; she loved to talk about magic

"We're very strong and learning all the time"

"Good, cos you're gonna learn some more." She said. Cordelia revealed to Willow Wesley's plan and his need for her, Tara and Giles.

"Well, what you think?" Cordelia asked anticipating Willow's response

"Wow. Can it be done?"

"I don't know hence why we need your help"

Willow looked at Buffy's bed, which was wet from her tears; Mr Gordo and Angel's cross were gone.

"This couldn't have come at a better time actually," Willow said.

"What?" Cordelia didn't catch what Willow was talking about.

"Buffy has ... been having these...dreams" Willow revealed.

"Prophecies!"

"No, these dreams about Angel"

"I don't know if I want to hear these"

"No, vivid dreams, memories. Which is impossible, as they never happened. Cordelia it was heartbreaking she was really crying."

"In her sleep" Cordelia practically shouted

"Yeah. I know...something about not enough time, Angel having a heartbeat, never forgetting"

"Oh my god. She remembered,"Cordelia gently said in utter shock put loud enough for Willow to hear her

//How is this possible?//

"Remember?"

Part 2

LA

Angel was sitting in his office, looking into outer space, twisting and playing with his claddagh ring.

"Oh" Cordelia shouted, making Angel jump and break him out of his trance.

"What, What?" Angel exclaimed

"Oh nothing"Cordelia replied a little shyly, she had thought she maybe have seen something to help Angel but didn't want to let him know.

"Jesus Cordelia, you nearly gave me a heart attack.if I had a fully functional heart that is" he corrected. He felt uncomfortable when he mentioned something to his friends about him not be human, he didn't want them to feel awkward with constant reminders.

"So did you find anything about that vampire attack?" he asked trying to act as normal as possible, trying to cover up.

"No I didn't find anything. Angel, it probably wasn't anything, just an every day mugging, this is downtown LA."

Angel shot her a deadly look, he didn't want to just dismiss the attack, if he could help he wanted to, that was the whole point of him being here, along with letting Buffy have a normal life without running into him all the time. With the thought of Buffy he went back to daydreaming about her.

On cue the phone rang, and Cordelia lifted it

"Hi Willow" Cordelia greeted her following the script that her and Willow had cooked up earlier. Angel not knowing the plan that everyone else was in on became very alert; at hearing it was Willow he automatically jumped up waiting to hear about Buffy.

"What happened?" Cordelia asked with concern. Angel could feel his chest clenching and seer panic over come him that Buffy may be in trouble or worse.. she may be hurt. Wesley walked in and seen Angel pacing about the room like a lion in a cage, and saw Cordelia on the phone with Willow so he played along with it.

"Is she okay?" Cordelia asked looking up to Angel, she and Wesley saw the tears build up in his eyes. // Have to be cruel to be kind//

"Is Buffy okay? Does she need me?" Angel asked with fear and the sheer panic that could be seen on his face. Without an answer he grabbed the phone from Cordelia

"Hello Willow I'm on my way" he threw the phone to Cordy and ran out of the room. Cordelia waited until Angel was out of the way, she smiled up at Wesley and returned to Willow

"You heard him huh?"

"See you in a couple of hours then?"

"If Angel sits at the speed limit. When it comes to Buffy I don't think a few sign posts with numbers is gonna stop him"

"Yeah I know, lets hope this works"

Cordelia hung the phone up.

"Well Gunn said he'd look after things here while we're away. I guess that's everything, now we just wait to see if everything goes okay with Willow and everyone else back in Sunnydale." Wesley added.

Sunnydale

Willow had informed Tara and Giles in on the plan Cordelia, Wesley and herself had come up with concerning Buffy and Angel. Willow felt Xander better know but wasn't sure how he'd take to it, Xander liked Riley, the two had become quite close, and she knew Xander had some unresolved "hatred" towards Angel, but he must be over that by now right?

Willow sat on her bed in her dorm waiting for Xander to arrive, she looked over at Buffy's bed and remembered how she cried in her sleep, to her this was a good thing she was doing for her best friend, she thinks? Buffy wasn't back for at least an hour so they had time to set up the next part..talk to Buffy about how she felt about Angel, how she obviously still felt about Angel.

The door opened and Xander appeared he looked worried, Willow had told him that Buffy wasn't sleeping very well and she needed his help. Xander planted himself opposite Willow on her bed, her at the head him at the foot.

"So what did you research and what is the plan that you needed moi for?" he asked eagerly.

"Nothing yet" she said.

"Oh great I walk in for the boring bit. The Work"

Xander noticed Willow concerned face.

"What's up Will?" Willow filled him in on Angel coming down with Cordelia and Wesley, their little plan and Angel being human and Buffy somehow remembering.

"Man. Human? And he gave it up..like that"

Willow still waited to hear Xanders response to all this.

"We can't do this" he spat out" she's with Rambo boy now; she's doing the normal thing. She's happy with Riley"

"Is she? Is she truly happy Xander? Cos from where I was the other night she isn't happy unless she is with Angel."

Willow hoped that Xander might finally realize that getting Buffy and Angel was the right thing to do, this would make her happy.

"I don't know Will we could regret this if it back fires?"

"Regret what?" came from the door that had opened and the two hadn't even noticed, they looked round to see Buffy standing waiting for an answer.

"Ah..we..we were.er.."

"We were thinking of..er getting tattoos" Xander lied and also trying to cover Willow who panicked, she hated to lie to Buffy.

Buffy tried not to laugh at the idea of Willow and Xander getting tattoos but was too drained, too emotional and too confused to even get a giggle out. Xander noticed Buffy's reaction and unlike Willow wasn't going to let it slide. Xander watched Buffy take her jacket off and sit on the bed.

"What?" she panicked running her hands through her hair.

"Nothing's wrong with your hair Buffy" Xander replied. Xander smiled at Willow and nodded to her acknowledging his agreement to talk to Buffy about her dreams about Angel.

"So Buffy, What's up?"Xander asked merrily getting straight to the point, and bouncing over onto her bed beside her.

"Er nothing, I'm fine" Buffy knew she wasn't but didn't want to say anything to her friends; she wasn't sure herself what was going on.

"Come on Buffy, talk to us, we're here for you."

"Okay since when did you go all Montel Williams on me"

"Buffy you've been acting really distant lately." Willow asked with heartfelt concern behind her statement.

"She's right you've been acting weird lately. It's as if you went drinking with Oliver reed and your suffering the morning after." Xander added. Buffy looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears and her bottom lip trembled trying to hold her pain and disorientation back, she didn't want to cry in front of her friends, especially Xander, and even more so as it was about Angel. She couldn't hold it anymore and just burst in to a fit of sobs and tears.

"What? What I do?" Xander asked innocently.

"Oh insult her as well why don't you!" Willow spat out wrathfully at him. Xander hugged Buffy tightly as she sobbed into his chest. Willow had never seen Buffy cry like this since Angel broke up with her just before prom, but this time.. Willow didn't know what to say, she joined Xander on Buffy's bed and hugged her. Xander on the other hand had never seen her like this and wanted to tell her that Angel was on his way so it would cheer her up, but knew he couldn't.

"Buffy "Xander said pulling back to look into her eyes.

"Come on Buffy. It's okay. It's us."

Buffy sighed and straightened herself out. She started to tell her best friends about when she remembered, how it didn't make sense, she hesitated but finally told them everything in as much detail as she cared to disclose about Angel kissing her in the daylight on the pier, the kitchen incident, the mohra demon, the sound of his heartbeat, and the pain of the last few moments together in which Angel gave his life for Buffy. Willow and Xander could feel a lump form in their throats and tears filling their eyes, they knew the story..roughly, but knowing the whole story was heartbreaking for them, so how did it affect Buffy?

Xander felt apologetic for the pressure he had put on the two, his feelings towards Angel hadn't helped the circumstances they were in. He seen Angel in a whole new light, granted he still seen him as the good looking guy who stole Buffy's heart, went on a murder spree, returned from hell and then left her on Graduation in the ashes of a blown up building, but now he seen him as this guy who loved Buffy so much, so much that he gave up everything, happiness, love and his life just to make sure no harm came to her. Xander respected Angel for that, he was still jealous, but felt it was time he bit his tongue and made some amends of his own.

Xander hugged Buffy showing his support and friendship to her. She sobbed, her whole body shaking every time she had another burst of sorrow and loss shoot through her.

Part 3

Sunnydale

Angel sat in his open topped Cadillac. He looked out over the graveyard, remembering the many moments he and Buffy had shared there, some good, some bad and all unforgettable. He closed his eyes and flung his head back on the headrest.

"Angel.. when I look into the future, a..a.all I see is you! All I want is you."

"I know the feeling" he leaned down and kissed her gently, pressing his lips on hers, her hands pushed up his arms, over his muscular biceps, over his shoulders and into his soft dark brown hair. Every touch was like a surge of electricity going through him, as her fingers gently gripped and twisted his hair he could feel himself gasping for unneeded air. She pulled him down further deepening the kiss, making it more ardent, more passionate, which it seemed to becoming even more nowadays.

"So are we going in or what?" Cordelia asked snapping Angel out of his reverie.

"What?" Angel replied a little embarrassed.

"In. Into the house that I just spend 2 hours cooped up in the same car as you rambling on about your beloved Buffy."

"I did not ramble"

"In or Out?"

"Yeah, it would be a good idea." Angel, Cordy and Wesley drove on and parked the car up. They got out and headed towards Giles house. Cordelia noticed Angel's facial expression change and suddenly become nervous and frightened.

"She'll be okay Angel." Wesley said looking up at him and trying to calm him down.

"Of course she will, she's Buffy, little miss kick ass" Cordelia adding her penny's worth. Angel smiled and nodded at Wesley, of course he was nervous last time he'd been here Riley stuck a gun to his head.

Buffys crying had quieted down, she was still winded and tears still trickled down her face on to Xander's shirt.

"You must.. think I'm..crazy." she managed to say in between gasps for air.

"Your not crazy Buffy." //Trust me your not crazy//

"Yeah Will, it's a normal everyday thing Angel becoming human" Buffy replied sarcastically.

"Erm..actually..er.."

Buffy looked up at Willow anticipating the rest of that sentence.

"Buffy we need to talk to you" Xander interrupted knowing that they were going to do this now or never. Buffy blinked back and forth between the two, and saw Willow's serious and "resolved" face.

"What's up?"

"Your not..erm..oh god erm"

"WHAT?"

"Your not as crazy as you think Buffy"

Buffy saw that Willow and Xander were not joking //okay maybe they're the crazy ones.//

"I'm not with you guys"

Willow sighed and looked into her best friends teary eyes,

"You weren't meant to remember"

Buffy's heart stopped, Willow was right, she remembered what Angel had said, and no one would know but him, she wasn't meant to remember.

"Oh my God" Buffy stood up and started pacing the room. Then it hit her,

"Angel was..was human and we ..we"

"I think the technical term is SEX " Xander butted in, Buffy shot him a lethal look.

"Hold on hold on. How did you know?"

"Cordelia said Doyle knew something about it."

"CORDELIA! DOYLE! Anybody else know?" she screamed.

"Well Wesley and Giles" Xander said sheepishly, sensing Buffy getting angrier every moment, and he didn't want to piss off a slayer.

"I don't believe this! I mean..God..Why didn't he tell me? I'll kill him"

"Okay not the reaction we wanted" Xander mumbled to Willow.

"I have to go see him" with that Buffy grabbed her jacket.

"Ahhh.. Hang on there little lady. Don't you think that's a little."

"A little what Xander?

" I'm just saying. Maybe you should calm down, your not thinking straight."

"Do you blame me? I've just found out that Angel was human. We had a future and he gave it up and never told me about it."

Willow knew that Angel, Cordelia and Wesley would be at Giles's house by now along with Tara, so she decided that it was time for the two to come face to face.

"Maybe we should go see Giles, he'll sort this out and then we'll get his car and go see Angel."

"Fine" Buffy grabbed a sports bag and packed it with a few overnight items.

"Lets go see the man you love " Xander chirped. Buffy stopped in her tracks and looked round at him.

"What?"

"Sorry, the vampire you love, god so picky"

Did she still love Angel? She had told herself so many times that she was over him, she had to get over him and have the life that he so badly wanted her to have, have a life and maybe a future with Riley, but she knew she loved Angel, always had and always will.

" Yeah, the man I love " Buffy left the room in front of Xander and Willow, the two friends grinned at each other knowing they were doing right.

Angel stood on Giles's doorstep. As the watcher opened the door Angel could see Giles's face light up, he hadn't seen that expression on his face for years, and was surprised that the expression was indicating towards him.

" Angel, do please come in " the watcher ushered him into the living room along with Cordy and Wesley. Angel noticed a girl sitting at the desk,

" Hi, you must be Tara?" Angel asked with a smile.

"And you must be Angel" She replied shyly.

" So Angel, Cordelia, Wesley how are you?" Giles asked trying to fill time until Willow and Xander arrived with Buffy.

" Where's Buffy? Is she okay ?" Giles realized Angel didn't know Buffy was fine and on her way here any minute.

"She's fine Angel. A little shaken" // If Willow and Xander have told Buffy that Angel was human she'll be more than a "little shaken"//.

Buffy, Xander and Willow arrived at Giles's house, Buffy's mind was racing a mile a minute, thinking about what to say, what to do, What happens now? She was so preoccupied she didn't notice Angel's car parked a few houses down, however she had that heart thumping goose bumpy feeling she gets when he is near.

Xander and Willow braced themselves for the long awaited reunion of the two star crossed lovers.

Giles heard the door knock and looked at Angel as he jumped out of his seat and waited to see whom it was.

Giles slowly walked towards the large wooden door and opened it to reveal Willow and Xander standing either side of Buffy.

Part 4

Angel saw her standing there, right in front of him, he could talk to her, touch her, feel her, tell her he loved her. He felt his head become light and everything echo at the invasion of confusion and emotion flowed into him.

"Hi"

Buffy wanted to die, her heart was thumping so loud and so quick it was like a jungle call. All the perplexity and sentiment she'd been feeling peaked at this moment.

"Angel!" Buffy replied in utter shock. The room fell silent as Buffy, Willow and Xander moved into the fairly full room that now suddenly felt empty. Angel and Buffy stared at each other, never talked, never moved just looked at each other absorbing each others presence, and trying to come to drips with the situation. Cordelia had greeted and hugged everyone trying to make it easier.

"So? Angel. How you been?" Xander asked striving to sound shocked to see him.

"Fine. I guess"

"Great Great. So? Staying long?"

" Depends" Angel responded. It was more a question than an answer, towards Buffy. Did she want him here? Did she want to be in the same room as him?

The room fell silent again, everyone looked at Buffy and Angel as they still gazed at each other.

"Well, you guys have a lot to catch up on so." Cordelia said motioning everyone up Giles's stairs out of view, but still near enough to hear everything.

Angel stood across from Buffy looking into her eyes that were still a little teary. God he had missed her, he had missed her beyond intellectual capacity and now she was a mere few feet away from him.

"Hi"

"We did that bit already." She answered not sure what to do now. Silence again, except for Angel fidgeted in his leather jacket and making a squeaking sound.

"You okay. I heard you were in danger so I ." he seen Buffy's face look at him with puzzlement as she didn't know what he was on about

"Which by the look of it your not"

Buffy shook her head with a little smile, touched that he had come the whole way down, again, to see if she was okay.

"So?"

Angel noticed her bag,

"Where you going then?"

"To LA"

"Oh" he was a little disappointed that she was going to the very place that he had just left.

"To see you"

"Me? What's up?"

Arial; Buffy didn't know what to say, she hadn't planned that part yet. She took a deep breath,

"I remembered," she barely whispered as the tears began to fill her eyes again and her voice breaking, but it was loud enough for Angel.

"What. Why did you.. I mean"

She began to cry but she needed to find out from Angel if this was true, that she wasn't dreaming or cracking up. Angel knew fine rightly what she said; he couldn't believe it she remembered.

"Was I Dreaming?" she asked softly, needing him to reassure her. Angel hung his head, he shook his head and looked up again this time he had tears filling up in his eyes.

"You weren't dreaming"

Buffy's cries became louder and more heart-rending, he saw her crying and wanted to comfort her by taking her in his arms and protecting her, but he couldn't she was out of bounds, she was human, she was someone else's.

"You remember. As in.." Angel found this so difficult that couldn't even finish off that sentence.

"You being human. I remember. I remember everything."

"You weren't meant to"

Buffy laughed out loud sarcastically,

"I wasn't meant to. Then Angel why do I remember every detail of the happiest day of my life, so vividly that it's all I can think about?" She asked the tears streaming down her face.

"I don't know"

"And you never bothered telling me?"

"I did what I thought was best".

"There you go again, thinking what was best for me, and I end up hurt. Again!"

"How was I meant to tell you that I love you so much that I'd given up my own life in a second just to know no harm came to you. Huh?"

"By telling me. You open your mouths and words tumble out." She spat back.

"It wasn't that simple. It's been tearing me up. There isn't a day, an hour, a minute, a second that I don't think about you. That I don't miss you and I .." the tears streamed down his face also by this time

"I've never felt pain like it."

"You should have told me."

"Yeah, you would have loved that. Besides I didn't think you'd care anymore." He replied sarcastically.

"Oh no you don't You told me to move on, so guess what, I'm doing that. You left me heart broken remember? If I'd had my way, god even a say in it, we'd still be together, but nooo you ran away to LA to help every damsel in distress."

"What was I meant to do? You deserve better" he looked down at the floor looking for the strength he was needing.

"You deserve more than pain, hurt and me. I've given you nothing but..misery."

Buffy stepped forward and lifted his hand,

" What about this?" she said looking at the ring identical to the one he gave on her 17^th birthday on the pier.

"You offered me your heart, your soul, your body and I accepted it. And gave you mine in return."

Buffy looked up into his chocolate brown soulful eyes and everything she felt resurfaced. Angel could hear her heart beat rapidly quicken. His voice broke as he opened his mouth to talk.

"I don't deserve you." He pulled away and went for his bag beside the couch.

"WELL I DESERVE YOU." She cried

"I've been through lot of crap and you say I deserve to be happy? Well you make me happy. Your the only thing standing in the way of this." Buffy moved closer to him now that he was further away again.

"Do you not love me anymore?"

"What? Of course I do. How could you think.." Angel moved closer to her, still keeping his distance,

"Buffy I can handle all the hell that is thrown at me everyday, but when I think of when you smile at me.. and you touch my face.you would make it all go away. I have, I do and I will always love you, you don't need to ever doubt that, ever. But no matter how much I want to. I'm.. I'm unable to."

" Angel don't. I can't do this, again.." Buffy said heading for the door. Angel dropped his bag and without even thinking, ran to her. He grabbed her by the arms and spun her around and pressed his lips on hers.

When he broke the kiss, he leaned down to look into her eyes, new tears had formed and a smile.

"Angel?"

"Yeah"

"I love you"

Angel smiled back and wiped the tears away with his thumbs and kissed her gently on her eyelids. Buffy put her hands around the back of Angel's head and pulled him down to meet her lips with his. Angel pulled her closer by the waist and deepened the kiss.

Buffy pulled back to take air,

"Angel promise me something"

"What?"

"No more secrets"

"Promise"

"Good"

"Actually Buffy, in the no more secrets treaty here. I better tell you something."

Buffy looked at Angel knowing nothing good ever came with Angel's "we need to talk" talks. Angel went into his bag that lay on the floor and pulled out the scroll. He handed Buffy the gold cylinder. She opened it and pulled out the scroll.

"I'm guessing it's not a Chinese menu. What is it?" in some way she didn't want to know.

"It's Angels prophecy" Buffy and Angel turned round to see Wesley and everyone else coming down the stairs again.

"Prophecy?" Buffy was confused.

"It talks about the vampire with a soul."

"That would be Angel right?"

"Yes. It er.talks about.."

"It said he would die" Cordelia added without finishing the story. Angel looked at Buffy who looked like she'd been hit by a jeep

"However.." Wesley started, trying to explain the rest.

"However? There's a however?"

"Wesley translated it, it turns out I can't die if I'm already dead" Angel said reassuring Buffy, calming her down

"I other words he'll be human. It's his reward"

"Reward?"

"Apparently the word to die also means the same as to live, but because Angel is already dead. he'll become alive"

Buffy's eyes lit up with joy and happiness.

"Human?"

"Yeah" Angel smiled back down at her.

Buffy leaped up into Angel's arms, put her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Oh dear god what have we done." Xander said breaking the silence. Buffy broke the kiss and jumped down.

"Huh!" Angel said with a look of shock on his face along with a grin. Buffy put her hand over his heart and felt nothing.

"I'm going to feel your heart beat. Again." Buffy said with a smile. Angel smiled back at her feeling her elation as he felt it too. He was nervous on how Buffy would accept it, would she care? Would she be angry? Would she wait? That was the big question now, would she wait for him? He didn't want to stop her life, stop her from enjoying herself?

"When?"

Everyone sat around the living, Tara and Willow sat on the couch, Xander sat in the armchair looking at Angel's scroll, Cordelia and Wesley sat at the table with a pile of books and Buffy and Angel sat at the kitchen stools. Buffy wanted to know when, and didn't get why everyone was sitting down.

"Okay guys what is going on?" She turned to look into her soul mate's eyes

"Angel what's going on?"

Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them as he always did when he had something to announce. Buffy squeezed Angel's hand, looking for strength and support.

"It would appear er. that after translating er..everyword that.."

"When? Giles. When is Angel going to turn human? Frustration and fear was in her voice and everyone heard it. Wesley stood up and looked at Buffy. They had never been close, but he looked at her and seen her needing him, needing him to tell her.

"Well? Years, decades, centuries? What?" Buffy asked again panic really setting in. Wesley smiled at her,

"Years"

Buffy sighed with relief and squeezed Angel's hand, this time at knowing they were going to be together like a normal couple..Finally.

"Okay years are good. How many?"

Giles looked at Buffy and smiled knowing she was going to love his answer,

"A few. Two maybe three years"

"TWO MAYBE THREE" Buffy squealed and grinning so widely it looked like she would burst with joy.

"That is so great" Willow screamed and ran over to her. The two girls jumped up and down with delight, Tara and Cordelia joined in on the hug.

"Okay I need air" Buffy said trying to fill her lungs with oxygen. She stood back from everyone and found Angel standing beside her, tall, dark, gorgeous and right here.

"It's a long time, I don't except you to wait so."

"Shut up. Okay so we can't..you know.""

She cleared her throat and remembered everyone was a couple of feet away watching them.

" I'll wait for you, I always would have."

"You don't need to" Willow interrupted. Buffy and Angel shot round to look at her.

"You think we came the whole way here for nothing." Cordelia said. Angel was confused,

"You said Buffy was in trouble.which..she..clearly..wasn't"

"We found a way for you to be happy until the human thing kicks in" Xander said filling the baffled vampire in.

"So good old Cordy lied to get you here"

"Hey watch who your calling old, duffus."

Xander walked over to Buffy held her hand,

"Call it a congratulations present."

Buffy was gob smacked, Xander actually said something nice to Angel; in fact Xander helped Angel and her back together. Xander was a little shocked himself, he still wasn't that keen on Angel but if it made Buffy happier than anything in the world, he would swallow the hatred and let it slide..for now.

"Present?" Angel asked. Wesley opened a dusky old book and handed it to Angel. He started scanning the page, Buffy reading it over his shoulder.

"It will make your soul permanent ," Wesley commented. Angel peered out over the book.

"No matter what." Wesley added with a smile.

"We're going to perform the spell tonight, once we've finished researching the last few things." Willow said with Tara standing beside her.