Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, the story was cooked up in my frightening brain, they belong to Joss and those people (although in my opinion, they ruined 'em..), yadda, yadda, yadda.. Also, the lyrics accompanying the story belong to Gunning Down Romance, by Savage Garden.
Distribution: Want it? Ask me.
Author's Note: Some things have changed for this to be possible. First off, Spike didn't fall for Buffy and Angel and Darla's son didn't make his debut. The story starts on Buffy's 20'th birthday.
Feedback: I'd love it! Good or bad, I don't really care. Just something to let me know how I'm doing with the whole writing gig. Email at VendettaDolce@aol.com or SempreCambiando@aol.com

" I've come to a conclusion. "

Angel's head snapped up with surprise. His gaze lifted from the pile of papers on his desk to the woman standing before him.  Struggling for composure, he was only able to stare dumbly.  " Buffy.. " He cleared his throat and tried again. " What conclusion? "

" I can't believe it's taken me this long to figure it out, " she said, shaking her head. " I mean, it was there.. the whole time. In front of me. I never realized it. "

She was standing in the lobby of the new Angel Investigations calmly.  Too calmly, he thought.  The last time she'd been here, they'd fought horribly.  Why is she here now?

" What are you talking about? "

Rather than answering with words, she held up a large envelope.  She tossed it onto his desk, enjoying the angry 'thwunk' sound it produced as it slapped the other objects.  Angry sounds to fuel her angry mood.

He didn't glance at the envelope, he just kept staring at her. " I don't understand. "

" I know generally that when it's someone's birthday, they should be receiving presents.. but I'm going to give you this gift instead, " She paused to smile hollowly. "In honor of everything we had.  I decided today was the appropriate day to give it to you.  Enjoy it with.. whoever she is. "

With that, she spun around and left, leaving Angel to wonder if he'd just hallucinated the whole meeting.

/Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain
In your brain
And feelings of aggression are the absence of the love drug in your veins
In your veins
Love, come quickly
'Cuz I feel my self esteem is caving in
It's on the brink
Love, come quickly
'Cuz I don't think I can keep this monster in
It's in my skin/

The adrenaline from her fury was seeping away from her faster with each passing second.  Her legs began trembling and the tears in her eyes threatened to spill over.  Buffy slowed her pace from a frantic run to a hurried walk.  I.. I can't believe I did it, she thought. I must have sounded like a loony to him.. but I did it. I delivered the spell. He can have a life now.

She sniffed and wiped at her eyes.  No tears.. no.  I've cried enough.  That was the end.  No more of his lies.  I won't be so stupid ever again.  He never loved me... Regardless of how I feel about him, he never loved me..

A blaring car's horn shook her out of her reverie..

/Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine
They're morphine
Cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen
Rarely seen
Love, I beg you
Lift me up into that privileged point of view
The world of two
Love, don't leave me
'Cuz I console myself that Hallmark cards are true
I really do/

Angel reached for the envelope with a hand that shook.  Two letters spilled out.  One was a list of odd objects followed by a long paragraph of Latin.  An incantation, he realized.  The other was written in Buffy's scrawl. 

Angel,

I felt I had to deliver this in person.  This spell.. It was in a dream of mine.  I woke up, remembering everything to it.  I had no clue what it was, it just looked like gibberish.  But when I took it to Giles and he translated it.. Well, we discovered it's for you.  It's to make you human.  I know you're supposed to use it, otherwise I wouldn't have received the info in the first place. 

I figured I should give it to you today.  The anniversary you lost your soul seems fitting for the day you regain it for the rest of your life. 

It also got me thinking about what this means.  I mean, heck.. you're going to be human.  Huge news.  I was practically jumping for joy for you.. I was thinking of all the possibilities - We could have a second chance.. until I came to the conclusion that it can't happen.  You didn't leave because you wanted me to have more.  You just didn't want me to have you at all.. You didn't want me anymore.  You never.. loved.. me.

Love is supposed to prevail, right?  You didn't give it a chance to.  Maybe you gave up on it because  you didn't feel it.

I don't know.  It just makes sense that this is the explanation for why you abandoned me.

Anyway.  Goodbye.  And good luck with your life with whoever it is you love now.

- Buffy

/I'm gunning down romance
It never did a thing for me
But heartache and misery
Ain't nothing but a tragedy
I'm gunning down romance/

When Cordelia entered Angel's office, she found him staring at a worn photograph of Buffy.  She narrowed her eyes, frowning. This really can't be good, she thought.  Especially if what I think I saw is.. what I saw.

" Angel? "

He looked up and she caught sight of the dried tear tracks on his skin.  Uh-oh.. definitely isn't good.
" Angel, tell me what happened. "

" She.. Buffy.. she was here.  She thinks I never loved her, Cordy.  She gave me a spell.. the one for my Shanshu.  It'll make me human.  She thinks I don't want to be with her.  "  Guilt made his eyes dark and Cordelia's heart clenched with fear.  How much guilt will be in those orbs when I tell him what else's happened..?

" Angel, are you still in love with her? "

" Of course! "

" Then you have to win her back, Angel. You have to tell her that and convince her it's true. "

" Maybe she's not in love with me.. " he said softly, the words frightening him.

" Are you really dumb enough to believe that?  I remember how you two were back in Sunnydale. C'mon Angel.  There's this thing about the two of you. You have the real deal!  You have what everyone craves and hardly anyone gets. Don't waste it! "

He nodded and stood up. " She's probably in Sunnydale by now.. "

Cordelia shook her head.  " Believe me.. she's still in L.A. "  She took a deep breath and continued, " On my way over here, I passed by an accident.  A girl.. she was hit by a car a few blocks away.  She looked so much like Buffy, but until I got here and talked to you.. I thought it couldn't be her. "

/Love, don't leave me
Take these broken wings
I'm going to take these broken wings
And learn to fly
And learn to fly away
And learn to fly away

I'm gunning down romance/

" I'm sorry. I can't let anyone in except family, " claimed the nurse on duty.

" He is family! He's her fiance, Angel, " said Cordelia. She was beyond caring about lying now.  If that woman doesn't let Angel in soon, I don't know what I'm going to do.  She should pray it doesn't involve homicide..

The woman's eyes widened. " You're Angel?  She was calling out for you before.  I..I suppose you can see her, then.  This way, please. "

Angel ambled over to where Buffy lay and held her hand in his.  He took in her appearance, surveying how badly she was injured.  Scratches and bruises covered one arm completely and her forehead was bandaged.  " Buffy? Look at me.. please.. "

When there was no reply, he assumed she was asleep.  He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. " I'm sorry.  I never meant for you to think I never loved you.  It's impossible.  I love you so much that it hurts.  I was just afraid that you'd grow restless.. that you wouldn't be content with just me. That's the only reason why I walked away. You said our love didn't prevail, but maybe it did.  It brought us this far - to my redemption.  It can be our new beginning.. if you still love me. "

" Angel.. ? "

Angel sat up straighter and unconsciously held her hand tighter. " Yeah? "

" If our love brought us this far..  No repeats. I don't want to go through all the pain and doubt ever again.  I just want to be happy. I just want to be with you.  Will you be with me.. with no repeats? "

" I promise. "

END.