by Indie

"What's going on, Darla?" the brunette asked her Sire as soon as the two boys had fled into the night.

"It's none of your business."

"Why are you messing with Buffy's kid?" the turned Slayer asked pointedly.

Since Buffy had moved back to Los Angeles, Faith had checked up on her from time to time, never letting Buffy know what she was doing. Just as Gunn had known, Faith had figured out who Jake's father was, but she too had chosen to keep her mouth shut and let things take their own course, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire.

"Buffy's son?" Darla asked, her eyebrow arching as a huge grin spread across her face.

Faith silently cursed herself. Darla hadn't known.

"Well that just makes the whole thing that much richer now doesn't it?" the elder vampire mused. "I was talking to him because he's my boy's son and it's my right as Sire."

"Yeah," Faith snorted, "so he looks like Angel, but the kid's what, eighteen? Angel's only been human for a dozen years. How could that be his son?" She was trying desperately to dissuade Darla from taking a vested interest in the boy.

"I don't know," Darla answered honestly. "And I don't care. He has my Angel's blood running through his veins. I can smell it. I'm sure he'll taste just as sweet as his daddy."

"Dru knew this was going to happen. She knew he'd show up. That's why she told us to be here tonight, right?"

"Who knows what the hell Dru knows," Darla said harshly, irritated with Faith giving Dru credit for discovering the boy.

"She's been talking about daddy coming home," Faith prompted, knowing Darla was deliberately keeping her in the dark.

"Yes," Darla answered with a devious smile. "But we both know that can't happen. Part of that horrid humanity Angel was cursed with came with the stipulation that he could never be given the dark gift again."

Faith watched her lover for several long moments before it hit her. If she had needed to breathe, she would have found herself unable. For some reason, it shocked her that Darla could be so sadistic.

"But if you vamp his son ... ," the brunette said almost to herself.

"Yes," Darla said her smile widening even further. "My mate is just waiting to be reborn."

Faith frowned, trying to find a way to stall Darla. "He's ... young. Not that he isn't cute, and everything, but he isn't quite the piece of meat that Angel is."

"Yet," Darla qualified. "He just needs a little time."

"And while you wait?" Faith prompted, relieved that Darla wasn't planning to turn the boy immediately.

"In the mean time, I make sure he has the proper education."

"How are you going to do that?" Faith asked. "You just let him walk away."

"I gave him my number. He'll call. He's a curious little kitten, just like his father."

Faith looked apprehensive. "Buffy's not just going to sit back and let you have her kid, you know."

"I don't expect her to," Darla purred with obvious amusement. "I expect her to fight. I want her to fight ... and then I want her to find out what it's like to die at the hands of her beloved child, just like I did."

"What did she say?" Charlie demanded as he and Jake made their way back to the car.

"Nothing," Jake answered honestly. "She didn't say anything, she just asked me a bunch of questions."

"Like what?"

"Like why I was there."

"Why were we there?" he asked pointedly. "All you ever said was 'demon research'. Could you be a little more specific? I mean if I'm going to get killed in some alley I'd at least like to know why."

Jake sighed. He hadn't intended to tell anyone, but Charlie was right, he had a right to know. "I'm looking for information on someone named Angel," he answered seriously.

Charlie swallowed. Jake was looking for Angel, but he'd promised his father he wouldn't say anything.

"Oh," he said lamely.

Jake didn't miss the way Charlie's posture immediately became nervous. "Do you know anyone named Angel?" he asked on a hunch.

"N-No," Charlie stammered.

Jake nodded, but knew that Charlie wasn't telling the truth. He didn't know what exactly Charlie knew, but it couldn't be good.

Jake woke from the dream disoriented. He was sleeping on the floor of Charlie's room. He concentrated on calming his breathing, trying to hear if he'd woken Charlie. When he heard the soft snore, he calmed, satisfied that his friend still slumbered obliviously.

The dream was getting more intense every time he had it. This time he'd been crouched next to Angel - he knew without a doubt that's who the man was though he still couldn't see his face. His hands were still stained with blood, he didn't know whose. Darla was there. She was the one who whispered into his mind, "You must wake again."

He turned to face her and she looked at him with her demonic face to the fore. He didn't flinch. He'd been expecting to see it. He knew she was a demon. He knew she was dangerous, and yet he wasn't afraid. Darla loved him, wanted him, needed him - or more appropriately the darkness within him.

The screaming had started again, but this time it had a definite source. Tearing his gaze from Darla, he looked and saw his mother huddled against a stone wall. She was staring at him screaming, obviously hysterical. She was terrified of him.

The next afternoon, Jake sat alone on the couch contemplating a myriad of events. He'd been planning on staying at Charlie's all weekend, but had come home early. His mother didn't know about the change of plans and was out looking for a job. He knew she only did things like that when he wasn't around, not wanting to worry him with financial concerns.

Jakob's mind wandered back to the previous evening. Charlie knew something about Angel, but he wasn't going to spill. Why? Darla also knew something about Angel, she'd made a point to call him that the previous evening.

Jake didn't like Darla, and he didn't trust her, but he got the distinct feeling that she would tell him who Angel was when no one else would. Why she would do that remained to be seen. He doubted she had any altruistic intentions. Her information would come at a price.

"You want to know about Angel?" Darla asked Jake as she sat down on the couch next to him. Just as she'd predicted, he'd made his way to her lair in search of answers.

"You know who he is," Jake said, it wasn't a question.

"Yes," she said, her lips pulling back into a smile. "I know who he is ... and was."

Jake studied her carefully. She wasn't bluffing, she also knew a lot more than she was saying.

"Is he my father?" Jake asked, unwilling, and unable, to draw it out any longer.

"Yes," she answered softly. "You are so much like him, Jakob. Did you know that? So much potential."

Jake swallowed. He had to admit to himself that he'd known that truth for weeks. He hadn't known who Angel was, but something inside of him had always know. Now the knowledge had crystallized, become an unavoidable reality.

"Are you a vampire?" he asked, studying her face.

"Yes," she answered honestly.

It was all falling into place. "And Angel was a demon hunter."

She smiled again, quelling the urge to laugh outright. This was going to be so much fun. Leaning towards her prey, she gently caressed the side of his face, not missing the involuntary flinch on his part.

"Angel was a drunken, whoring Irishman the first time I met him," she said softly. "That was right before I turned him, more than two an a half centuries ago."

Jake felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. Angel was a *vampire*. How the hell was that possible?

Noting his peaked complexion, Darla continued like the finely tuned predator she was, "He was one of the most vicious creatures to ever walk the earth, Jakob. He was a legend among legends. You should be proud of your heritage. He is known by the name Angel, but more often than not, he is referred to as Angelus. You shouldn't have any trouble finding the information you are looking for."

Jakob stumbled blindly down the hallway towards his mother's room. Buffy was still out, he didn't know where. Heedless of the mess he was creating, he pushed her clothes aside and pulled out the crates of old books again.

As he skimmed through them, he wondered how he had missed it before. There were scores of references to the demon Angelus. He admitted to himself that he hadn't been looking for a demon named Angelus, he had been looking for a human named Angel. Too bad.

Darla hadn't been embellishing. The atrocities committed by Angelus were beyond words. His heritage. Hundreds upon hundreds of victims killed in a myriad of gruesome ways. At the bottom of the pile, he came across one of the journals of his mother's watcher and leafed through it once again.

The diary wasn't complete, a large portion of it had been ripped out, but there was enough for Jake's needs. No mention of Angel, but Angelus had definitely been in Sunnydale. He had murdered Giles' girlfriend and left her body for him as a morbid present.

The demon had spent months tormenting Buffy and her friends, including a young cheerleader named Cordelia Chase - Charlie's mother. No wonder his friend had paled at the mention of Angel. He'd known the entire time who the vampire was and that Jakob was likely his son, but he couldn't tell Jake the truth. How do you tell your best friend that he's a monster?

A monster like his father.

Inside the journal was a tracing of the tattoo on Angel's right shoulder, it was a perfect match for the one Jakob had seen in his dream. Something inside of him was bound to the demon, part of it even. How could he fight something like that?

Jakob was suddenly seized by guilt. For weeks he'd been thinking his mother tricked Riley into claiming him as his son, but it seemed the truth was much more horrifying. Surely the creature had raped the Slayer, that was the only explanation. She wouldn't have been willingly involved with such a vicious monster. There was no mention of any sort of relationship between Buffy and Angelus, but a large portion of the text was missing. Perhaps his mother had been too ashamed to even allow the words to exist. Surely she'd destroyed part of the journal in an attempt to avoid the horrors of her past.

Jakob cradled his head in his hands. He was like this creature. Buffy had said as much on the phone to Willow. Darla, the vampire who had created Angelus, echoed the sentiment. The people in Huxley had been right. Jakob was a monster, or at least on his way to becoming one. No wonder Riley had been so disappointed in him.

He was an abomination.

Jakob was suddenly assaulted by memories of the scar on his mother's neck. She'd always brushed him off when he asked about it, saying she'd had an accident. She hadn't. It was a vampire bite. Angelus had marked her in yet another way. Jakob felt as if he'd been marked as well. All of the darkness inside himself that he constantly tried to hold at bay rose in an overwhelming tide, and he was helpless to stop it. Images of Steven Simms lying broken and bleeding on the ground filled his mind. He was an animal.

Fate had a way of making sure certain things happened in a certain manner. To that end, Cordelia Chase had agreed to accompany her husband while he made a quick stop by the office to check on a few loose ends.

It was more convenient that way.

The Powers That Be had no intention of allowing the seer to hurt herself when she was hit with the vision, and since Angel was the only person who ever managed to catch her before she ended up on the floor, it was imperative he be present. He didn't disappoint.

As Angel cradled his unconscious friend, he frantically addressed Gunn, "I thought she didn't have visions anymore."

Bewildered, Gunn answered, "She doesn't ... I mean she hasn't for years. But ... even when she had them all the time, they weren't this bad."

The force of the vision had rendered Cordelia completely unconscious.

"She's still breathing, and her pulse is returning to normal," Angel said as he held his fingers to her throat.

Buffy was worried the second she reached the front door and found it slightly ajar. Long repressed Slayer instincts returned immediately as she slowly crept into the room. Her first thought was that she had been robbed, but upon closer inspection, only the pile of books in her closet had been disturbed. Everything else was in order. Leaving her room to do a second sweep through the apartment, she called out to Jakob and received no answer.

She'd noticed his backpack on the couch when she came in, and had been expecting to find him, or at least a message as to his whereabouts. There was nothing. Something was very wrong.

Returning to her room, Buffy took a closer look at the books strewn over the bed and floor. She recognized one of Jakob's notebooks, page after page covered in his handwriting half buried among the books. Picking it up, she began to read.

As Cordelia regained consciousness, she made a concerted effort not to vomit all over herself. The vision had been unbelievably intense ... and BAD. After several moments, Cordelia realized that she was in Angel's arms and that he was talking to her. Concentrating, she listened to him.

"Cordelia, are you okay? Tell us what you saw."

Cordelia blinked and a single tear rolled down her cheek as she studied her dearest friend's face. Turning her head to her husband who stood close by, she croaked out a single word.

"Jakob."

Gunn's face dropped and he immediately ran for the phone. He knew that Jakob had gone home earlier in the day ... After several minutes, he turned back to face Cordelia and a very distraught looking Angel.

"No answer," he said morosely. "We should go over there and ... check."

Cordelia crumbled, leaning heavily against Angel, her body shaking with the force of her sobs. As he rubbed her back, Angel tried to remain calm. He knew without a doubt that Jakob was the name of Buffy's son. If he was hurt, or if Buffy was hurt, Angel would track down whatever did it and rip them limb from limb. He also knew what Gunn had meant by "check". He had meant see if there were any bodies.

The front door to the apartment was still open when Gunn, Cordy, Angel and Wesley arrived on the scene. The ride over had been completely silent. Angel hadn't spoken a single word on the ride, concentrating instead on remaining focused and calm. He wouldn't be of any use to anyone if he went into a rage. He needed to find out if Buffy and her son were okay.

The apartment looked shockingly normal. Gunn had been expecting to find complete chaos, but things inside were neat as usual, if a bit cramped. There was a light on in one of the bedrooms and the group made their way towards it, preparing themselves for the worst.

Buffy was sitting on the floor clutching a notebook to her chest, almost catatonic when the others walked in. She didn't acknowledge the intruders. Her state explained why there had been no answer when Gunn called. She probably hadn't heard the phone ring.

Angel stopped breathing when he saw Buffy. Her proximity hit him like a physical blow and he was overwhelmed for several moments. She was all right, at least physically. Not that she looked good, she looked awful. She was too thin and her fatigue was palpable, but she didn't appear to be physically injured. Mentally, she looked about as far from okay as a person could be. Something had happened, something bad and he was going to make sure that whatever was responsible was going to die slowly and painfully.

Cordelia stepped forward, kneeling in front of the statue still woman. Slowly, Buffy raised her gaze to meet the seer's tear stained face. They wore identical expressions of misery. The former Slayer didn't fight as the seer pulled her into a tight embrace, chanting over and over, "I'm sorry, Buffy."

For long moments, Buffy was rigid in Cordy's embrace. All at once she seemed to find her way back to herself and broke down, sobbing hysterically in her former friend's arms.

"Cordy, he's gone," she wailed pitifully, choking through her tears.

"I know," Cordelia said gently through her own tears. "We'll find him."

Turning to face her husband, Cordy said, "We should go back to our house and work from there."

Gunn looked around nervously, "Maybe someone should stay here in case Jakob comes back."

Cordy shook her head. "He won't come back here."

They could have stayed at Buffy's apartment, or gone back to the Hyperion, or gone to a park for that matter, but Cordelia *needed* to be home. Faced with the reality of Buffy's missing child, she desperately needed to see her own children.

Slowly, Cordelia helped a somewhat calmer Buffy to her feet. For the first time, the former Slayer seemed to notice that there were other people in the room. Her gaze flicked from Gunn to Wesley, finally coming to rest on Angel. Buffy's expression cracked again as she saw him and she started crying again. Her world was falling apart. How was she going to explain to him just how badly she had messed things up?

Without thinking, Angel stepped forward and pulled her into his arms, holding her firmly against his chest as she wept. Cordelia looked at him gratefully as he gently comforted Buffy. He was undeniably upset now, but she cringed at the thought of what would happen when he found out just who Jakob really was.

Somehow the group made its way outside and into Gunn's monstrous SUV. They were greatly aided by the fact that in the interest of time, the former vampire had picked up the distraught former Slayer and carried her outside. Buffy and Angel piled in the backseat with Wesley. Given the size of the vehicle, there was plenty of room for everyone, but Buffy remained firmly glued to Angel's side. He did nothing to persuade her to move away from him. She was silent on the entire trip to Gunn and Cordy's except for an occasional hiccupping sob.

When they reached the house, Gunn went off in search of Charlie and any information he might possess. Cordelia was busy tracking down her two younger children, Jessica and Chase. Wesley strategically decided to make tea, leaving Buffy and Angel alone in the large living room.

"Somebody should call Willow and let her know," Buffy noted absentmindedly.

Angel nodded as he held Buffy, gently stroking her hair.

"Later. Do you want to tell me what's going on?" he asked softly, not at all certain she would say anything.

Buffy looked up at him with an expression both wary and guilty. "How much do you know?" she asked bluntly.

"I know that your son is missing, and probably in trouble," he said truthfully.

Buffy swallowed hard. She was still clutching the notebook. Pulling back from Angel's embrace she looked around and found her purse, silently thanking Cordelia for having the presence of mind to bring it along. Grabbing it, she riffled through the contents as Angel looked on in confusion. Finding what she was looking for, Buffy handed the picture of Jakob to Angel.

"This is Jakob," she said quietly.

Surely, she wouldn't have to explain it any further. Angel was human now and had been for quite some time, Willow had informed her of that much. He had to look in a mirror everyday. He couldn't deny the truth.

Angel studied the photograph intently. Buffy didn't miss the fact that his hand started shaking. Putting the picture down, he looked at Buffy, and then pulled her into his arms again as she sobbed with relief.

"Why didn't you tell me he was mine?" he whispered into her hair, his voice strangled with emotion.

Buffy ruefully wondered if she was ever going to be able to stop crying. "I don't know," she sobbed, "I don't know *how* he's yours, but he is."

Angel cringed. Of course she didn't know. No one knew but him. But this shouldn't have been possible. The Oracles took back the day. They shouldn't have been able to create a life - but they had.

Jakob. *His* son. He'd stayed away for years, unwilling to deal with the pain of seeing his love with Riley's son. Jakob wasn't Riley's. Angel berated himself for having been such an ass.

Pulling Buffy fully into his lap, Angel rocked her gently. He thought about the son he'd never known existed. The son he had with his mate. The son ... he hadn't been able to protect. A ragged sob wracked Angel's frame as the last thought hit him. It was all his fault. He should have been there.

Cordelia joined her husband, son and Wesley at the island in the kitchen. Motherly instincts still on overdrive, Cordy gently placed a kiss on top of her oldest child's head before taking a seat. Wesley automatically handed her a large cup of tea which she took gratefully. Charlie didn't look at her, she didn't take that for a good sign.

"Well?" she asked her husband.

Gunn smiled weakly at his wife. "They're still talking," he said quietly, motioning towards the living room.

"I'll bet," Cordelia said glumly. "Not like they don't have a few *thousand* issues to sort out."

"You know *how*, don't you," Buffy said bluntly to Angel. It wasn't a question.

He nodded slowly. "I promise I'll explain everything, Buffy, but right now we need to go in and talk to the others ... figure out what's going on."

As Buffy and Angel made their way into the kitchen, hands clasped tightly together, everyone migrated from the island to the breakfast table. When they were all seated, Wesley took charge of the meeting.

"I suppose a brief overview would be in order to make sure we're all on the same page," the former watcher said, looking down at a few notes he'd made on a small tablet. Angel suppressed a smile. Wesley could play demon hunter with the best of them, but underneath it all, he was a Watcher at heart.

Clearing his throat, Wesley began his synopsis, "I feel it would be most beneficial to start from the *very* beginning. It appears that a good deal of what is wrong has to do with both whom and what Jakob is fundamentally. Now then, when Buffy discovered she was with child, her boyfriend at the time, Riley Finn, assumed the child was his and proposed. Correct?"

Buffy nodded. It was definitely an odd sensation to have the most monumental events in her life described in such a sterile manner, but - she reminded herself - Wes was a Watcher and they just tended to operate like that.

Wesley continued, "You were married and moved to Huxley, Iowa, where your son, Jakob was born. I'm assuming the boy was raised as Riley's natural son."

Buffy nodded again and avoided looking at Angel.

"When you were pregnant, did you believe the child was Riley's?" Wesley asked the Slayer in a much more gentle tone of voice.

"Yes," Buffy answered honestly.

"When did you know he was Angel's son?"

Buffy swallowed. "The first time I held him."

Angel was shocked. She'd known from the moment Jakob was born that he was his child. He felt warmed by that fact in spite of the dire situation they were currently in.

Clearing her throat, Buffy elaborated, "Only myself, Will, Giles and Xander ever knew the truth. Riley may have suspected, but he always claimed Jakob. There was some talk in Huxley. A few people suspected that Jakob wasn't Riley's son, but I ... I never discussed it with Jakob. There was so much turmoil, especially after Riley got sick. Jakob's behavior became so erratic, and then when Riley died ... it never seemed like a good time to talk to him about it ... and now ... "

Buffy wiped fresh tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. How much of this could have been avoided if she'd simply spoken to her son about it? She placed the notebook she still held on the table in front of herself.

"He knew," she said quietly. "Jakob knew that Riley wasn't his father. He knew his real father's name was Angel, although the journal doesn't say where he came up with that bit of information. He ... ," she started and then broke down in tears again. "He got it all wrong. If I'd just talked to him about it instead of being such a damn coward."

Angel placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, and quietly tried to reassure her, "It's not your fault."

Disgusted and angry with herself, she shrugged off his touch and turned to face her former lover. "It *is* my fault," she said emphatically. "If I had just *told* him the truth. There was so much he thought, so many assumptions he made that were just *wrong*!"

Her voice caught as she sobbed violently. "Oh, God, Angel ... He thinks he's a-a-a ... monster."

Angel's expression hardened. Why on earth would Jakob think that he was a monster?

Buffy concentrated on calming down. When she was able to breathe normally again, she continued, "He's had prophetic dreams his entire life and I never knew. He never said anything to anyone about them. He thought something was wrong with him. He doesn't call them nightmares in the journal, he calls them memories. In them, he's a monster."

She cradled her head in her hands. "How could I have been so fucking blind? It's not like I didn't go though the same damn thing. I just ... I don't know what the hell I thought. He and Riley were always at each other's throats, then Riley was told his condition was terminal ... Jakob started getting in lots of trouble. I thought he was just acting out. It was right there in front of me and I didn't even notice there was something very serious happening to my baby."

Angel watched her berate herself knowing full well there was nothing he could do to make it better. She thought she'd failed as a mother, but he knew that wasn't the case. For the first time in a number of years he gave very serious thought to the turmoil he had caused his own mother.

Reluctant to disturb Buffy further, Wesley spoke softly, "Perhaps you could tell us what else is contained in the journal."

Buffy looked up. She knew it was time to get down to business. She couldn't be breaking into hysterics at every turn or they'd never get through this. Straightening, she took a napkin from the table and wiped her eyes.

"It's not really a journal," she explained. "It's more of a random collection of thoughts, notes on a few things. Jakob was told by someone - he doesn't say who - that his father's name was not Angel, but Angelus."

Beside her, Angel paled. Jakob was *his* son, the demon didn't have any claim on him. He'd been human the day that Jakob was conceived.

"Jakob went on the assumption that he was Angelus's son. Someone made certain that he believed that. He thinks he was a mistake, an abomination. And now he's gone."

Wesley nodded and turned to Cordelia, "What did you see in your vision?"

Cordelia shrugged noncommittally. "Nothing really. It wasn't like the other visions. I just got a sense that Jakob was in a lot of trouble and a lot of pain although I don't know if it was mental or physical."

"Well," the Watcher said dejectedly, "that was our only lead."

"Not quite," Gunn said, looking pointedly at his son who was studying something extremely interesting on his shoe.

"Charlie," Cordelia said gently, leaning in towards her son, "do you know where Jakob is?"

Charlie didn't meet her gaze, but he shook his head 'no'.

"You know something," Gunn snapped, losing patience with the boy. "Now tell us so we can go and find him before something happens."

Charlie looked up. "I ... we ... Caritas. We went to Caritas last night."

Wesley looked at the boy, thoroughly puzzled. "Why on earth did the two of you go to Caritas?"

"Jake said he wanted to do some 'demon research'," Charlie admitted. "I didn't know until later what he was really doing. As soon as we walked in, we got jumped by this scary chick ... I mean she wasn't nasty looking or anything but she just made my skin crawl. She was all over Jake, drug him off into some corner to talk to him alone. Faith was with her so I didn't get too crazy about it."

"What did she want?" Buffy asked, thoroughly confused. What would anyone want with Jakob?

"Jake said she just asked him who he was and what he was looking for," Charlie answered honestly. "After he told me that, then *I* asked him what he was looking for. I told him I didn't buy the 'demon research' line. He said he was looking for information on a man named Angel. He asked me if I knew anyone named Angel ... I froze. Dad made me promise not to say anything, and so I told him I didn't, but I don't think he believed me. He knew I was lying and he just started being really quiet."

"Who was the woman with Faith?" Cordelia asked, trying not to glare at her husband. She'd deal with him later. If he'd just let her meddle like she'd wanted to, all of this could have been avoided.

"I don't know. I've never seen her before, but I think she was probably a vamp. She said her name was Darla."

Buffy's insides turned to ice. "Darla has my son," she breathed, reaching instinctively for Angel's hand and gripping it tightly.

"We don't know that," Wesley stated quickly. "All we know is that he talked to her."

"He's lost and confused and hurt. He's not thinking clearly. She's using him to get back at us," Buffy said, looking at Angel.

Wesley took off his glasses, gently massaging the bridge of his nose. "Perhaps we should all get some rest. It will be dawn very shortly."

"That's probably a good idea," Angel agreed, looking at Buffy's clearly exhausted form.

The sky was just beginning to turn gray when Jake arrived at the posh apartment building. The doorman only gave a nod as he walked past and entered. He'd spent the entire night wandering around Los Angeles. He'd debated returning to Caritas to search out the host and try to find insight into who he was. He hadn't. He'd been too afraid of having his deepest fears confirmed.

His entire life had been a lie. He was angry, but his rage had no direction. He was angry with his mother for never telling him the truth, but deep inside he knew she'd only kept it from him to try and protect him.

He was angry at Riley for playing the fool for the last eighteen years. There's no way he hadn't known he wasn't his father, but he'd played along to the end. He'd probably thought he'd been doing the noble thing, but he hadn't. Riley's actions had just hurt both of them.

He was angry at Angelus for being the sick bastard he was.

He was also angry at himself for being too weak to just end it all.

Without allowing him self time for second thoughts, he knocked soundly on the door. Several moments later it was opened by the sleepy tenant.

"Darling boy," she said quietly in a voice that actually sounded sincere, "welcome home."

Buffy looked around the interior of the Hyperion. She had a hard time imagining Angel living here. Angel living, radical concept. He was fumbling around in the office for something, but she could see him clearly through the open doorway. He was still absolutely beautiful. She sighed heavily, putting her head down on the counter.

Angel was human. He'd been human for a dozen years. Surely he'd built himself a human life complete with friends and, well, ... girlfriends. Angel hadn't mentioned a significant other, but if your ex shows up in town and informs you that the son you never knew you had is in imminent danger, the odds of bringing up a girlfriend in chit chat are pretty slim. Especially for Angel, the king of evasive conversation maneuvering.

"Found it," he said, holding up a file and drawing Buffy out of her thoughts.

Buffy lifted her head slowly as he walked towards her. He studied her with a frown.

"You should really get some sleep," he said gently.

She snorted. "I must look *real* good," she said wryly.

His frown deepened. "That's not what I meant. You're beautiful, but you look exhausted. You need to rest," he held his hand out expectantly.

Buffy smiled and took his proffered hand, allowing him to lead her up the stairs.

Jakob didn't fight as Darla pulled him inside the darkened apartment. She led him down a hallway past huge bay windows covered with heavy drapes to keep out the light. When they reached the bedroom, she gently urged him back onto the bed and removed his shoes.

"Are you going to turn me into a vampire?" he asked bluntly, not caring what the answer might be. He was almost hoping for death, it would simplify his life dramatically.

The vampiress looked at him for a long moment, a smile playing on her lips. "Not today, my sweet."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go to sleep. And so are you," she answered in even tones. "Tomorrow we will discuss your destiny."

"My destiny?"

"Yes, my love, you have such an amazing journey ahead of you," she said with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

"Angel, I can't take your bed."

Angel frowned at her. She'd been fighting this for several minutes. "Buffy, I already told you that although this is a hotel, this is the only room that's made up right now. Please, just get some sleep."

"I'll take the floor," she said, looking around and noticing he didn't have a couch.

"You're not taking the floor," he said in exasperation.

Their conversation was cut short by the phone ringing. Walking over to the nightstand, Angel picked it up.

"What?" he barked into the receiver, it was already past eight in the morning, but he wasn't in the mood to try and get any business done. He needed sleep, one of the downsides to being mortal.

Buffy watched as his entire body tensed. After several long moments, he sat down on the bed, giving terse, one word replies into the phone.

"Yeah," he said after several minutes, "let me get a piece of paper."

Buffy watched as he wrote down a cell phone number. With a short 'bye' he hung up the phone and rubbed his hands over his face. Buffy's heart caught in her throat.

"What?" she said, her voice sounding as if it were made of ice.

He reached out and grabbed her forearm gently, pulling her to sit on the bed next to him.

"It was Faith," he said quietly, not looking at her. "She's been spending a lot of time with Darla lately. She said she's been trying to get ahold of us since Friday night, but hasn't been able to track anyone down. She wanted us to know that Jakob is with Darla."

"Oh gods," Buffy moaned, covering her hand with her mouth as she started to cry again. She'd known the odds of her son being with the sadistic vampire were good, but hearing it confirmed was still a shocking blow.

"Faith is going to stay close to them, she'll do her best to let us know where they are and what's going on, but she doesn't want to let Darla know anything is wrong. She'll call us when she can," Angel explained gently.

The reassurances did little to calm Buffy who pulled her legs up to her chest, hugging them tightly as she rested her face on her knees and sobbed pitifully. Angel was at a loss for what to do. He wanted to comfort her so badly, but didn't want to do anything that might be misconstrued. Luckily, Buffy solved his dilemma, leaning into him heavily until he enfolded her in his embrace. He held her for a long time, until her sobs had subsided and she had calmed.

"Go to sleep, Buffy," he said gently.

She shook her head 'no'. "Not unless you stay with me. I can't be alone right now."

Angel smiled. "Anything for you," he said quietly.

"Where are we going?" Faith asked as Darla herded her and Jake through the apartment building's underground parking garage and into a waiting limo, complete with heavily tinted windows. It was late afternoon, but the sun was still high enough to necessitate the precautions.

Darla stopped walking and looked at her lover. "Do you have somewhere else to be?" she asked pointedly.

"No," Faith answered quickly, afraid Darla would leave her behind and continue ahead with Jake.

"Then shut up and get in," the elder vampire commanded. Her Childe obeyed without question.

Faith looked at Jake and noted he seemed oblivious to everything around him. Odds were he was in some kind of shock. He'd been through hell in the last couple of days and Darla was doing everything she could to keep him as confused as possible. The more muddled he was, the easier he was to control. Faith noted with guarded optimism that at least there weren't any bite marks on his neck. Perhaps Darla would keep her word and allow him to "mature" before she tried anything.

It was near sunset when Buffy woke feeling oddly rested. She'd been completely exhausted before falling asleep, but she knew that wasn't the only reason she'd been able to sleep so well. Angel's still sleeping form was curled tightly around hers, spooning her from behind. In spite of her absolute terror over Jakob, she felt safe in a way she hadn't felt in decades with a sense of hope
she feared lost forever.

They were nestled snugly under the covers of his bed, their hands intertwined on her stomach. They hadn't spoken in eighteen years, but their intimacy was instinctual. They were each other's other halves, soulmates. Buffy had been married to Riley in the eyes of God and the law. They had slept next to each other every night for seventeen years. They had countless sexual encounters. Yet, their entire relationship still never came close to reaching what she had lying in bed fully clothed with her sleeping Angel.

Angel completed her. Angel was the father of her only child. Angel was her heart. Riley just passed the time. It had been so much easier to justify the fact that she'd stayed with Riley when she hadn't seen Angel for years. Looking at him now, she knew she'd been living a lie. She'd convinced herself that it was best for Jake, that he needed a solid home environment far away from demons and the supernatural. How wrong she had been. Jakob was supernatural. It was in his blood. He had needed his father, his *real* father, not a stand-in, trying to "do the right thing" who had absolutely no chance of ever relating to the boy.

Buffy sighed heavily as she tried to figure out just how many people's lives her short sightedness had destroyed. The sound woke Angel who seemed to read her thoughts and hugged her tightly in his forgiving embrace. Buffy blinked to clear the tears. She wasn't going to cry anymore.

"So is your girlfriend going to walk in and catch us?" Buffy asked bluntly.

"There is no one in my life. There hasn't been since you."

Turning in his embrace to look at him, Buffy said, "But you're human now, you can ... "

"It was never about sex, Buffy, " Angel answered seriously. "I loved you and I couldn't be with you, so I'm alone."

"Couldn't be with me ... ," Buffy mused. "If you couldn't be with me, how do you explain the fact that we managed to conceive a child on the day after Thanksgiving by arguing with each other in your office in front of Cordy and Doyle for five minutes?"

"You know it happened that day?" he asked in surprise.

"Yes, Angel," she replied firmly. "I know it happened that day."

"It didn't," he explained with his usual cryptic nature, "at least not the way you remember."

"Oh," she said with mock understanding, "well, then, why don't you clear things up for me?"

Faith watched the couple seated across from her in the limo. Jake was staring blindly out the window, oblivious to everything. Darla was grinning like a cat in cream, idly playing with the hair on the nape of the boy's neck, whispering to him in a quiet voice the brunette couldn't make out even with her vamp enhanced hearing. Faith wanted to shove Darla away from him, but she didn't dare. She didn't know what Darla might have already done to him, especially given her fondness for magic as a means of manipulation. Deciding to wait it out and see what Darla had up her sleeve, Faith tried to find another way to keep the elder vampire away from the boy.

"So I've been replaced?" Faith hissed, deciding to play spurned lover. "You've found a new Childe?"

Darla shot her a guarded look. "No," she said slowly.

"Really?" Faith asked cattily. "Looks like you're getting awfully cozy with junior there."

Darla smiled. She loved to be wanted. The idea of her Childe being jealous delighted her to no end. She slowly made her way to Faith's side, gently caressing her face as she slid into the seat.

"I'm not replacing you ... yet," Darla whispered throatily as she captured Faith's lips in a hungry kiss. "You know so many more tricks than he does. Perhaps we can train him ... together."

Angel watched Buffy's face carefully. She had yet to react to his recounting of the day that wasn't. He still held her tightly, partly for comfort and partly because it would make it easier to pin her down if she decided to try and rip his head off. He'd been assured by Wesley several hours earlier that her Slayer strength had diminished to regular human proportions. He could physically outmatch her if he needed to - theoretically.

Buffy, however, wasn't reacting the way he had expected. There was no rage, no angry shouting. She was lying limp in his embrace, staring at the ceiling with a look of consternation on her lovely face.

She had spent a whole day with Angel that had been swallowed by time. She couldn't remember the conception of their child. The part of her that was angry at her lack of memories was quelled by the part of her that was deeply grateful The Powers That Be had taken *only* the memories.

They let her keep Jakob.

For years she had wondered if fate had simply taken pity on her and given her the ultimate gift, a piece of her lover as a substitute for Angel himself. She hadn't imagined anything close to Angel's explanation of events. She had been certain that Jakob was a miracle. She conceded that learning he had been conceived with lots of sweating and grunting, didn't make him any less special. In fact, the revelation made Buffy feel normal in a way she'd never felt before. No divine entities had altered her body or her destiny. She had simply been a normal human girl in love with her normal human boyfriend and they had created a child with their love.

"I know you're human, Angel, so you might as well stop holding your breath before you pass out," Buffy said calmly.

Angel's gaze slitted as he looked at her. "You're not mad?"

She turned her head to face him. He was only inches away on the pillow, watching her carefully, nervously. The urge to press her lips to his was almost overwhelming, but she refrained.

"It's a little late for recriminations, isn't it? It happened eighteen years ago," she said quietly.

He didn't look convinced.

Buffy sighed and began to explain, "I'm not seventeen, Angel. I've known since Jakob was born that he was your son. The forgotten day is the missing detail, but I got the big picture a long time ago. Besides, who am I to blame anyone? I knew he was your son and yet I kept him away from you because I was so hurt by you leaving. I understand now that you were only doing what you thought was right, and it wasn't fair of me. I denied you your son and I denied Jakob the chance to understand who he is because I thought he needed to be 'normal'."

She took a deep breath and continued. "In a way, I did the same thing to him that you did to me. I tried so hard to protect him that I ended up hurting him. I wanted to keep the darkness away from him so badly that I denied it existed. I denied what was happening to him. I made him feel like a freak. Worse, I tried to shove him into a life he didn't fit in. I tried to make him and Riley forge a relationship."

Angel was grateful he was human, because if he'd been a vamp, he wouldn't have been able to tamp down an instinctive growl. He took several deep breaths and then asked, "What exactly was Riley and Jakob's relationship like?"

Buffy smiled. She could tell Angel was being overprotective of the son he'd only just found out he had. That boded well for the future. She only hoped Jakob would be half as receptive as Angel.

"It wasn't good," she said bluntly.

Angel scowled and Buffy backtracked. "I don't mean that the way it sounds. Riley tried, he really did. He did everything he could for Jakob, but it never worked. They were too different. Riley expected things from Jakob that were unrealistic given his personality. There was a lot of conflict between them - nothing physical. Riley expected Jakob to be a Boy Scout, and the more he expected the more Jakob rebelled."

Angel listened carefully. It was a very familiar story. Hauntingly familiar.

"Riley loved Jakob and he did his best by him. I know now that Riley knew Jakob wasn't his son. But in defense of him, he never said anything, never treated him as anything other than a son. Even when they weren't getting along and Riley was so frustrated, he still loved Jakob."

Buffy almost winced at the look on Angel's face. She knew it would have been so much easier for him if Jakob and Riley had just hated each other, but they hadn't. Things had been strained, but underneath all the tension, there had been some genuine affection.

"Jakob wasn't as forgiving as Riley," Buffy continued. "I think he always knew Riley wasn't his father and he never forgave him for it. He used to call Riley by his given name about as often as he called him 'dad', even when he was just a little thing. Jakob isn't the easiest person to get along with. He's very stubborn," she said looking pointedly at Angel. "He's a littler version of you, almost exactly. He even broods like you. You have no idea how much that used to freak me out. He's always been like that."

Angel smiled. He knew Buffy was blaming a lot of Jake's less desirable personality traits on him, but it was a wondrous concept. *His son*. Buffy studied his face carefully, her expression softening.

"He smiles like you," she said softly, then her lips creased into a frown. "But he also happens to smile about as often as you do. Sometimes I just want to kick him in the butt for being so serious all the time."

Angel watched as her composed facade cracked. "I just want him home safe," she whispered, tears in her eyes.

"I know," he said softly. "We'll find him, Buffy. I promise."

Faith helped Darla usher Jakob into the exquisitely decorated lobby. They were in Wolfram and Hart's main office building. Faith had no idea why, as far as she knew, Darla and the lawyers were still on the outs. This wasn't good. Faith had to get Jake out of here, but that would entail defying her Sire. The turned Slayer had never outright disobeyed Darla in the past. She didn't know how far reaching the Sire/Childe bond between them was, or if she would even be able to resist Darla.

Faith silently bemoaned her lack of insight into Darla's scheming. She knew about her plan to try and get Angelus back, but really couldn't figure out how Darla hoped to accomplish the task. Faith had been sure it couldn't be done, but she knew Darla. If it was possible, she would find a way.

Minutes later they were ushered into the reception area of Lilah's lavish office. Darla immediately took Jakob into an adjoining conference room. Faith followed on their heels, ignoring the frazzled receptionist's demands that they stop.

"I'm not going to do anything to him," Darla snapped at the brunette as Faith closed the door behind herself.

"Then you shouldn't mind if I watch," Faith countered, hoping her anger was coming off as jealousy.

Darla hissed, but did not order her to leave the room. Faith watched as she moved the boy's zombie-like form to a nearby chair and pressed him down into it.

"Keep an eye on him," Darla ordered. "I have business to see to."

"What kind of business?"

"Don't worry about it. I won't be long."

"What was it like?" Angel asked quietly.

"What?" Buffy asked, looking at him.

"Everything. Being pregnant, having him, watching him grow up."

Buffy let out an amused snort. "That's quite a bit of ground. Where do you want me to start?"

"Wherever you want," he answered seriously.

Buffy smiled and thought about it for a minute or two.

"He was a big baby," she finally said. "I mean *really* big. Pregnancy was awful. I looked like a puffer fish. I was huge. I couldn't wear shoes I was so swollen. He was born in August and it was *so* hot. I was miserable. The doctors were freaked because I'm so little. They wanted to induce my labor almost a month early because they were worried I would have problems delivering."

"Did you?" Angel asked, really having no idea what the implications would be either way. He knew nothing about the birthing process, well, if you disregarded the conception.

"I didn't," Buffy said. "I was confident that everything would work out fine. I was in this big 'Mother Earth' stage. I figured being a Slayer and naturally more primal it would be a breeze."

"Was it?"

Buffy laughed. "No. It wasn't. There were all sorts of complications. The doctors were right."

Rolling over onto her back, she pushed the covers down around her thighs. She was still dressed in a lightweight knit shirt and a pair of stretchy black pants. Pulling the waist of the pants down, she showed Angel the long scar just above her bikini line.

He stopped himself from touching it.

"I had to have Cesarean. So much for 'Mother Earth'. I was in labor forever and then they finally just had to cut me open. But he was fine," she said with a sigh, righting her clothes. "Aside from the fact that he was so huge. The doctors kept looking at me like they were trying to figure out how on Earth he was my kid."

"He was ... okay ... in other ways, though, right?" Angel asked.

"What, you mean because his parents were such normal people?" Buffy asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Angel frowned at her.

"He was ... fine," she said thoughtfully. "He was always a little ahead of other kids his age, but nothing that stood out. He never liked to draw attention to himself. And he was so sweet and even tempered when he was little. It wasn't until he got into junior high that we started having problems with him."

"Problems?"

"It started out as friction between him and Riley, and then it just became friction between him and everyone. He had some bad friends and a chip on his shoulder the size of Texas. He wasn't *bad*, but he had so much going on that no one understood, not even me. He hurt one kid in a fight pretty severely."

Angel nodded slowly, internally blaming himself for all of the misery Buffy and Jakob had faced.

"I should have acted sooner," Buffy admitted. "Riley was sick and I felt so guilty. I couldn't leave him. Jakob's behavior just got worse and worse. Then ... we moved here and he was so much better - at least until this whole Darla thing."

"My, my," Darla cooed, "you're not getting any younger are you, Lilah?"

The lawyer shot her an icy look. Her age was a sore point to be sure. The fact that Darla would be eternally beautiful did not serve to elevate her waspish mood.

"What do you want?" she hissed. She was decidedly unimpressed with Darla's unannounced arrival in her offices.

The senior partners would not be pleased to know that Darla was in the building. It was bad enough that she was still animate, they didn't need to be reminded of that fact.

"It's not about what I want," Darla clarified, "it's about what we both want."

"And that would be what?" Lilah asked as she studied her watch, trying to anticipate when the security guards would arrive. She needed to be working, she was busting her ass trying to get things in order for a division review.

"Angelus," Darla purred.

"Angelus," Lilah parroted with a laugh. "Unless I'm mistaken, Angelus is gone for good. Angel is human and he can't be vamped again. No more Angelus. Did you miss the memo? Maybe you're the one getting old, Darla. I know you still look good, but it seems the mind is starting to wander."

Darla scowled. Lilah's pissy mood was getting her down. "Angelus is a demon. He is eternal, but right now he is without a body to animate."

"Nice try," Lilah said smugly. "Angelus may be floating around some demon dimension right now, but the second he's pulled back here to inhabit another hapless victim, he's a clean slate. He'll have to start all over again with absolutely no memory of his former self."

"That is not *strictly* true," Darla countered. "Wolfram and Hart has the power to pull him as he is back into another body on the mortal plain. I'm undead proof."

Lilah studied the vampire for a long moment. "The power, yes, but why would we want to? The tribute required to pull off something like that is astronomical, and all of the effort would be for nothing. Demons don't like to be pulled into new bodies after they've gotten used to one. Odds are it wouldn't work at all the moment the demon realized he was no longer in Angel's body."

"Not if you have the suitable host," Darla said cryptically.

"I don't have time for this Darla," Lilah bit out. "I just told you it won't work unless you have Angel's body and we both know that Angel can't be vamped again, so you have no plan."

"I have Angel's son," Darla said smugly. "It won't be a perfect match, but I think it will be close enough."

Lilah was quiet for a long time as the words sank in. "Angel has a son? Where?" she asked incredulously.

"He's waiting in your conference room," the vampire answered wickedly, her lips curling back into a sinister smile.

Lilah made a face of disgust. "Angel's only been human for twelve years, *please* tell me you're not a pedophile now on top of being a soulless demon whore."

Darla glowered at the mortal. "The boy is almost eighteen. I don't know how he's Angel's, but he is. He looks just like his father, tends to have the tortured soul bit down pretty well too. *And* the best part ... his mother is a Slayer. He'll be perfect."

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