Forever Begins Again

by Isis FG

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Part 21 – Save Me
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Slowly, her world righted itself. Tiny pinpricks of reality edged into her consciousness. Dinner...Angel...the gardens...the bench...a phone ringing...and then nothing. She shook her head slightly in confusion, immediately regretting the action as shards of pain shot through her skull. Attempting to raise her hands to sooth her aching head, Buffy was horrified to find that she couldn’t move her them.

Panic raced through her veins as her situation dawned on her. The dull memory of sitting on the bench waiting for Angel to return and then feeling someone behind her, pressing something against her nose suddenly flashed into her mind. Her eyes squeezed shut as she fought acceptance of the facts that were plaintively obvious.

However much she wanted to deny her current reality, she couldn’t. Not when she was sitting...somewhere....with a throbbing head and her hands apparently tied behind her back. It was impossible to ignore the cold, hard truth. And in this case, the cold and hard was literal since it seemed that she was seated upon a concrete floor.

Cautiously, Buffy pried her eyes open. Fear and adrenaline had her heart pounding in her chest. She had no idea what she would be faced with once her eyes were open. Was someone going to be standing in front of her holding a gun? Was there more than one person? Who would want to kidnap her anyway?

The sight that greeted her wasn’t quite what she had been expecting. In all honesty, she couldn’t really see much. The room was pitch black except for the slim beams of moonlight shining in through tiny windows near what looked like the ceiling. Other than that, there wasn’t much she could see.

There didn’t appear to be anyone in the room with her, either, which struck her as rather odd. She was also relieved, though, that no one was there with her. At least she wouldn’t have to deal with some crazed lunatic...yet.

Squinting her eyes, Buffy tried to see more of the room that she was imprisoned in. She couldn’t make out any furniture or things along that line. The room seemed empty except for some pipes, one of which she was tied to.

As she struggled to understand her situation better, tears began forming in her eyes. She was trapped in some cold, dank room, tied to a pole. And she had no idea who would want to do this to her. She was just a girl, never harmed anybody. Why would they want to kidnap her? Over and over that question echoed in her head.

She struggled to move around in her bound position, but that only made her arms ache worse. Her tears now freely flowed down her cheeks as she huddled her knees up to her chest. Angel must be so worried. She’d just disappeared.

Her beloved’s face appeared in her mind as sobs shook her small body. The vivid image was a comfort she’d gladly take. She knew he’d find her. There was no doubt in her mind. Angel would come for her, would save her and take her away from this dark room.

He would come.

She repeated that phrase in her head in a soothing mantra that soon lulled her into an exhausted sleep. Her last thought before drifting off was a silent plea to her Angel to save her.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

“Ow! Damnit! That fucking hurt!” Angel roared in agony.

“Well, if you hadn’t punched a plate glass window I wouldn’t have to be standing here pouring disinfectant on it!” Willow nearly screamed at him in response.

The others present in the room stared at her in mild shock, not used to hearing meek little Willow speak in such a harsh tone. But they were all on edge. Angel’s phone calls had set them all into a panic. Now they were all just standing around helplessly in the kitchen as the police searched for clues outside in the gardens.

“I told you it didn’t need to be taken care of!” he growled back at her.

“Oh, right. You just want to us let you bleed to death. Lot of good that will do Buffy,” snorted Cordelia in her typically sarcastic tone.

“She’s right, Angel,” Joyce spoke in a quiet voice, hoarse from crying. “You need to get that looked at. We can’t do anything right now, anyway.”

“I...I’m sorry.” Angel’s shoulders slumped as he spoke. “I hate just standing here like this. What the Hell is taking them so long out there?”

“I am sure they will let us know if they find anything,” offered Giles in consolation as he placed a comforting hand on his wife’s shoulder. He had no idea how he was keeping himself from falling into a complete panic.

Xander paced back and forth across the kitchen, unable to sit still for more than a minute. “Who would want to kidnap Buffy? And why now? She’s been out of the coma for over two weeks now.”

No one responded to his questions. They all knew who responsible, but not one person in the group wanted to say it out loud. If they didn’t say it, it wouldn’t be as real. They wouldn’t have to face the fact that the person who had kidnapped Buffy was likely the same person who had put her in a coma nine months earlier.

“Angel?” Willow said softly, hoping to distract her raging friend. “Why don’t you go find some clothes to change into.”

“What?” he questioned in confusion at his friend’s odd statement.

“You’re covered in blood,” she answered simply, pointing to clothing he was wearing.

Angel frowned and then looked down at his clothes. Willow was right. The multiple gashes on his hand had been bleeding fiercely and had dripped blood all over his shirt and pants.

“I don’t think it matters what my clothes look like,” he snapped harshly at her.

Willow looked him in the eye, showing that she was not intimidated by him. “Do you want Buffy to see you like that when we find her?”

His eyes narrowed at her for a moment before he turned and stalked out of the room mumbling obscenities too low for the others to hear. Each one of them let out a sigh of relief once he was far enough away.

“Thank you Willow,” Cordelia groaned. “I don’t think I could have taken anymore of his growling.”

“Cordy, sweetie, he’s just upset,” chastised Xander lightly.

“I know that!” Cordy responded with a pointed look at her boyfriend. “We all are. But Angel stalking around, growling like a wild animal is a little freaky.”

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Noise inside the room awoke Buffy from the sleep she’d fallen into. She knew immediately that someone else was inside the room with her. If she hadn’t heard the noises, she would have felt the presence of another person. Plus, the glaring brightness of a newly turned on light behind her still closed eyes was also a clue.

She was torn between opening her eyes and facing her abductor and feigning sleep longer so she could try and delude herself that she wasn’t really tied to a pole somewhere at the whim of some psycho. The decision, however, was made for her when a cold, harsh voice called out to her.

“Open you eyes, bitch. I know you’re awake.”

Buffy’s eyes snapped open in shock when she recognized the voice. “Riley?”

“Very good,” the blonde man spoke cockily.

Buffy found that she could only stare at the man standing a few feet in front of her. The horror of finding herself tied up in some dark room was nothing compared to finding her mild-mannered physical therapist to be the one responsible. She’d always thought there was something off about him, but she’d never expected this from him.

“What-,” she cleared her throat. “What’s going on?”

“Well, I should think that is quite obvious,” Riley snorted in response to her seemingly stupid question.

“Why?” Buffy breathed out heavily. It was the only thing she could think to say. And truthfully, it was the only thing she wanted to know. Why would Riley Finn, the blonde haired, blue eyed farm boy, kidnap her?

“If you have to ask you are even stupider than I thought you were,” he shook his head.

“Oh, come on Riley, she never was very bright,” a new voice sounded through the room.

Buffy’s blood ran cold at the sound, her head snapping in the direction of the person she hadn’t even known was in the room. Her eyes widened in shock when she saw him emerge from the shadows. Fear raced through her body as she saw him walk into the harsh lighting.

“Ford?” she whispered, terror taking over ever cell within her.

“Aww! So glad you remember me, Summers,” the dark haired man joked sarcastically.

Her mouth opened to say something back to him, but Buffy quickly realized that now was not the time for one of her smart-ass comments. Instead, her eyes stayed focused the man she’d wasted two years of her life with. There was no way she’d ever forget him, and the way he’d treated her. It disgusted her now to think about the person she’d been when she was with him. Her time with him-

The thoughts in her head suddenly stopped as she watched Ford saunter over and stand next to Riley. A cold shiver twisted down her spine at the site of the pair standing side by side. There was something...something she should know. It was pushing on the edges of her consciousness.

When Ford placed his hand onto Riley’s shoulder the seemingly innocuous memory finally assaulted her mind...

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

~begin flashback~

“Sit down and get out of my way!” Ford yelled loudly as Buffy walked in between his line of vision to the television set.

When she didn’t move fast enough, Ford’s foot shot out and kicked her in stomach. The blow sent her sprawling into a small bookshelf next to the tv and then down to the ground. Stunned, Buffy just lay there on the floor trying to catch her breath.

Ford glared at her for making so much noise and then looked angrily at the items she’d knocked off the bookshelf during her ‘fall’. Noticing his unhappiness, Buffy quickly pulled herself together and began putting the items back onto the shelf. She had no desire to piss her boyfriend off anymore than he already was.

A photograph fell out of an old magazine as she picked it up from the floor. Curiously, she stared at the picture she’d never seen before. Ford wasn’t the type who kept family photos around...or photos of anyone for that matter. So the interesting find was all the more attention getting.

“What are you looking at?” Ford snapped when he saw that Buffy was no longer cleaning up the mess she’d made.

“Umm...i-it’s just a-a pictures. I-it fell out of the m-magazine,” she explained slowly, hoping that her answer was acceptable.

“Gimme that.” Ford snatched the picture out of her hands and studied it momentarily before a chilling smirk set across his face.

Buffy stood and glanced at the photo once more. It was of Ford and a man she didn’t recognize, but from the look of them in the picture it was obvious they were close. She wondered who the man was and why she’d never met him.

“Who is that?” she asked cautiously, not wanting to upset him by asking the question.

“That’s my half brother Riley,” he told her curtly before throwing the picture down onto the table next to the couch and then walked out of the room.

Picking up the picture, Buffy looked at the two men it depicted. They were standing side by side, Ford with his hand on Riley’s shoulder as both laughed at something she couldn’t see. She idly wondered if Riley was anything like his brother.

~end flashback~

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

“Riley Fordham,” Buffy murmured almost inaudibly. She couldn’t believe she’d forgotten who he was.

He’d been in her house, in her room, and she’d never remembered his true identity. She had only seen his picture once, though. Now she knew why something always bugged her about him. Still, she couldn’t help but feel like there was something else she was missing. Something drastically important that she hadn’t yet remembered.

“I’m touched,” Riley smirked, placing a mocking hand over his heart. “You remembered my name.”

“I-I don’t understand. Why are you doing this?” Buffy cried softly.

She didn’t understand any of this. There was no reason for them to kidnap her. She’d never done anything to either of them. Sure, Ford was generally and asshole, but why would he resort to kidnapping her? He’d never loved her. Of that she was positive. So this obviously wasn’t a ploy to win her back.

“Poor Buffy, we made her cry,” Ford teased with a look to his half brother. “Why am I doing this?”

For just a moment, his voice sounded softer. Just as it had when she first met him. But in the next instant, he was standing right in front of her. His eyes bore harshly into her causing her to push herself further against the wall. When he spoke again, his words were heartless and serious.

“You’re a problem, Summers. One that I plan on taking care of.”

Buffy shivered at his tone. She was truly terrified. Never in all of her time with Ford, even when he was hitting her, had he looked as he did now. Deep in heart, she knew that Ford had no intention of letting her go.

Silently, she closed her eyes and prayed to whoever might hear her that she would make it through this. As her tears fell harder across her cheeks and down onto her shirt, her soul called out to Angel begging him to come save her.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Angel stilled halfway down the staircase in the Giles’ home. His hand grasped at the banister and his eyes closed as he felt the pull at his heart. Buffy was calling out to him. He didn’t know how he knew, and was sure that he’d never be able to explain it to anyone, but he could feel her pleading for him to save her.

Rage filled his mind. Rage at whoever was hurting Buffy. Rage at whoever would dare touch his mate. She was his and nobody else’s. And he would see to it that whoever was responsible for harming her would suffer and feel pain ten times worse than she had.

With determination in his step, Angel descended the remaining stairs and stormed into the kitchen. He stopped upon entering and fought to control the urge to yell at everyone when he saw that they were all just sitting there doing nothing. What it was Angel thought they should be doing, he didn’t know. He just knew that they shouldn’t be sitting there twiddling their thumbs like it was a normal night.

Xander looked up when he heard footsteps and shivered unintentionally at the sight Angel presented. The barely restrained fury blazing in Angel’s eyes was hard to miss. Even if his eyes hadn’t give away his temperament, his posture and clothes would have.

“That’s a, uh, interesting look, Angel,” Xander spoke nervously.

Angel glared at the dark haired boy, but he was well aware of what his friend was referring to. The leather pants were not typical for him. But Buffy had pleaded with him to buy them on a recent shopping trip and who was he to say no to her? Luckily, they had been upstairs in her room...’accidentally’ left there by him.

At the moment, he was glad they’d been there. The dark leather fit his mood perfectly. And judging by the looks he was getting from the others, they were eliciting the exact reaction that he wanted.

“Any news?” Angel spat out forcefully. He didn’t have time for pleasantries. Not when Buffy was in danger.

“N-no. Nothing y-yet,” Giles stuttered. He couldn’t help but be intimidated by the aura radiating off the younger man.

Angel was about to reply when an officer entered through the back door. Everyone in the room quickly stood expectantly and waited for the man to speak. Each of them hoped they had some news on their friend and family member.

“We haven’t found anything that would give us a clue as to where she is or who took her,” the red-haired lieutenant spoke, sensing the need to get right down to business. “But I have all my men looking, and an APB (all-points-bulletin) has been put out for her. If she’s spotted anywhere, they will let me know immediately.”

“WE HAVE TO FIND HER! NOW!” Angel roared in frustration. They’d been out there for a half hour and had found nothing. How was some stupid bulletin going to help his beloved?

The officer jumped slight at Angel’s outburst. He was tempted to snap back at the man. After all, they were already breaking protocol. Buffy had only been missing for a short while, not the typical forty-eight hour waiting period that usually followed a missing persons case. Since foul play appeared to be obvious, they’d gotten involved quicker.

“Mr. O’Malley, we are doing everything in our power to ensure that she is found and returned safely,” the man tried to state reassuringly. Inside, though, he was worried especially considering the fact that Buffy had been the victim of a brutal attack only months earlier.

Angel glared at lieutenant angrily. “That’s not good en-,”

“Sir! We found something!” a young officer burst through the door yelling.

“What?” The older officer reached out and took the object the young female held in gloved hands.

“What is it?” Joyce pleaded in hopes that it would give them some idea as to where her daughter was.

“It appears to be a business card of some sorts,” he stated with a frown. “Where did you find this?”

“It was underneath a bush a few feet behind the bench the victim was sitting on,” the female officer relayed.

“Business card?” Angel repeated in confusion.

“Yes. Does the name Riley Finn mean anything?” the officer questioned, looking to the occupants of the room.

“Riley? That’s Buffy’s physical therapist,” Willow responded, her eyes showing the thoughts swirling in her head.

“Oh my God!” Joyce sobbed. Not only had Buffy been kidnapped, but it had been by someone they’d trusted and let into their home.

“Now, this doesn’t necessary mean anything,” the lieutenant tried to calm everyone down.

“The Hell it doesn’t!” Angel yelled forcefully. “How else would that little bastard’s card get all the way out there?”

Everyone was silent at those words until Willow spoke up softly. “Buffy did tell me once that there was something about him that bothered her.

“Maria,” the male officer called to the other officer. “I need you to find out everything about this Riley Finn. Here’s the card. I want criminal history, if there is any, personal info, and any know local addresses. Hurry!”

The group of friends and family could only watch helplessly as the police officers suddenly went scurrying about. Angel paced the floor desperately wishing there was more he could do. Images flashed in his mind of what he would do to Finn when he got a hold of him. That bastard would pay for hurting his Buffy.

Taking a deep breath, Angel tried to calm his mind and body. He could still feel Buffy calling out to him and it pained his heart to be just standing around doing nothing to help her. Instead, he focused inwardly and whispered silently to her.

‘Hold on, baby. I’ll save you.’

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Part 22 – It’s All About Power
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“I hope they find her,” Willow stated a half hour later. Her voice was a combination of hope and exhaustion.

Most of the officers, as well as Angel, Giles, Xander and Cordelia had left five minutes earlier to check out one of the leads on Riley. It wasn’t quite standard procedure to allow the bystanders to tag along, but none of them, including the police, had the desire to tell Angel he couldn’t come. And, thankfully, Giles’ long-time friendship with the Chief of Police had afforded them some leeway.

The remaining members of the group of friends and family, Willow, Oz and Joyce, had opted to stay at the house. Oz had insisted that Willow stay because of her pregnancy saying that she didn’t need the stress and obviously didn’t need to put herself in the line of danger while Giles had convinced Joyce to stay behind by telling her she should be there in case Buffy called or returned. No one expected her to do so, though.

The three now found themselves seated in the kitchen along with two officers waiting for news from the others if they found anything. They had left after deciding to check Riley’s office at the physical therapy center to see if there were any leads there while they waited for the background information to come through.

“I-I’m sure they will,” Joyce responded, the stutter in her voice betraying the confidence she was trying to project.

“Let’s just hope the cops get whoever is responsible for this before Angel does,” spoke Oz who then shrugged when the others turned to stare at him. “I just don’t think Buffy would like him going to jail for murder.”

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy was huddled tightly against the wall as she strained to listen to whatever Ford and Riley were talking about on the opposite side of the room. They were talking so low, though, that she couldn’t make out the words. Every once in a while, one of them would glance in her direction. Whether they were checking to make sure she was still there, or plotting what they were going to do, she didn’t know.

She knew, though, that whatever the two had planned, it wasn’t good. The cold, callous looks in their eyes told her that much. Her only hope was that Angel, or anybody, would find her and save her.

Angel would come. She knew he would. She didn’t know how, but she knew he would. Deep down inside, Buffy knew he was searching for her. And for a moment, she had almost felt him whispering to her, telling her to hold on.

That thought alone gave her strength. She would keep herself together. She had to. But exhaustion was beginning to take over her body, unfortunately. The bound position of her arms left them aching, and her head was throbbing.

Forcing herself to stay awake, Buffy tried to think of a way to distract Ford and Riley. She had to keep them from doing anything to her until the others could find her. There had to be something she could do to keep them from doing whatever they had planned for her.

Lost in her internal thoughts, Buffy hadn’t noticed that Ford was now standing right in front of her.

“Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. What should we do with you,” Ford pondered with a tilt of his head. “Any ideas brother?”

“Let’s just get this over with,” Riley snapped in frustration. All he wanted to do was get out of that room.

“Always in such a damn rush,” mused Ford almost jovially. “If I remember correctly, and I know that I am, little Buffy here was quite a bit of fun.”

The meaning of his words was not lost on Buffy. A slight whimper escaped her lips at the thought of what he wanted to do to her.

Hearing the sound, Ford sneered at her. “Now don’t tell me you’ve turned into a nun on me.”

“No, please, Ford. Don’t do this,” she pleaded desperately.

“Ford! We don’t have time for this!” Riley yelled to his half brother.

“I suppose you’re right,” Ford sighed with a shrug.

“Please...why are you doing this. I didn’t do anything to you,” Buffy cried out helplessly.

“Because, dear Buffy, you are a problem. As I already told you,” Ford spat out, getting angry at her whining.

“Whatever it is, whatever you think I will do to you, I won’t. I promise!” she sobbed in response. She honestly had no idea why he thought she was a problem.

“You really don’t have any idea, do you?” questioned Ford through squinted eyes.

“No. I-I don’t know why you are doing this to me!” Buffy spoke softly, hoping that her cluelessness would get her released. She knew it wouldn’t, but it was worth a try.

“Interesting. But it makes no difference now.” Ford smirked at the fear that rose several notches in Buffy’s eyes. Something about it made him feel powerful.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

“There’s no one here, sir,” an officer stated as he walked out of the building he had been in.

“Okat. Thanks, Martin.” The Chief turned to the other officers and to the group of civilians he’d reluctantly had to let come. “Let’s go inside and see if we can find anything that might tell us where he took her.”

The large group of people quickly entered into the physical therapy building where Riley worked. One of the officers who’d done the initial search led them to the office that was Riley’s. Once inside, each of them began to sift through the room’s contents hoping that they would find something...anything that would lead them to Buffy.

“This is useless,” Angel snapped loudly fifteen minutes later, slamming the desk drawer closed. “There’s nothing here.”

Xander held up a post-it note that had been near the phone. “’Call Mother’. Gee, this guy’s a regular boyscout.”

“I don’t give a damn who the fuck he needs to call!” Angel yelled back at him.

“Hey, sorry man.” Xander held his hands up in defense of himself.

“Angel, please. We are all trying to help find Buffy,” intervened Giles. He understood full well Angel’s rage, but they really didn’t need him screaming at people.

“Sorry,” Angel mumbled halfheartedly before turning his attention back to Riley’s desk.

Giles sighed in frustration, turning to his friend Thomas, the police Chief. “His is right, though. There does not appear to be anything here.”

They each jumped when Angel threw a stapler across the room, denting the drywall it landed against. Xander slumped back dejectedly on one of the walls of the room while Giles wiped at his glasses absentmindedly with his handkerchief. The total feeling of helplessness was overwhelming.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Ford was stalking closer to her, a black gun clenched in his hand. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she stared down the barrel of the weapon pointed at her. This was it. This was going to be the end. Her life would be terminated soon. She’d never get to see her family, friends, or Angel again.

Angel. Just thinking of his name made her heart clench painfully. They were finally getting back what they’d once had. And now...now it wasn’t going to matter. She was going to die. Tears streamed out of her eyes at the thought of never seeing her handsome Angel again.

For a moment, just a moment, Buffy thought that maybe it would have better if he’d never come back into her life. She knew he’d be destroyed by her death. If he hadn’t come back, if they hadn’t reunited, then it wouldn’t be as bad. But as quickly as that thought came, she pushed it away. No, she would never regret the time she’d had with Angel. She’d never regret knowing love, true love.

“Any last words, bitch?” Ford asked her, a sick smile playing on his face.

“Please, Ford. Don’t do this,” she whimpered while trying to free her hands unsuccessfully.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” he spoke almost casually.

Buffy continued to struggle against the ropes binding her hands while her eyes drifted to Riley who was standing a few feet away. “Riley, please! You don’t have to let him do this.”

“Stop your damn whining!” Ford yelled loudly at her, his steps bringing him right up to Buffy.

“Please, no!” Buffy begged again.

“I said shut the fuck up!” screamed Ford. The hand not holding the gun whipped toward her and backhanded her across the cheek.

The movement of his hand coming toward her had seemed to be almost in slow motion. The force of the blow sent her head flying backwards, cracking harshly against the cinderblock wall. Through blurry eyes she looked up at the laughing man looming over her. Suddenly, her mind flashed back to a night long forgotten when she’d found herself in an almost similar position.

Trembles took over her body as the final locked doors within her memory opened up. Image upon image flooded her mind. The last pieces of the puzzle were at last falling into place. Now she remembered. Now, she knew why this was all happening.

Ford’s words repeated in her head. ‘You are a problem.’ They hadn’t meant anything before. But now...now she knew why she was a problem. She knew why he was uncaringly pointing a gun at her head with the full intention of using it. She was a problem because she had power over him in one very important aspect. Power that could destroy him. Power that he would absolutely not allow her to have.

That was why they’d taken her. But the memories and the reasons were only a small consolation. They didn’t change the fact that her crazed ex-boyfriend was standing inches away with a gun pointed at her head. The only thing they did was tell her why. But at least now she knew.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

“Now what?” Xander questioned from his spot leaning against the wall.

They’d all been standing there for minutes clueless as to what to do next. Oddly enough, Angel hadn’t said a word the whole time. He’d just sat in Riley’s desk chair with his whole body tense and rigid.

“I suggest you all go back to the house and wait. I will call you if there is any news,” the Chief requested stupidly even though he knew they wouldn’t go.

“The Hell we will,” Angel growled at the man with narrowed eyes. How could he propose that they just go sit...and wait? No way would he let Buffy down like that.

The Chief was about to answer when the shrill ring of his cell phone stopped his words.

“Yes?” he spoke curtly into the phone. “Ok...hold on, let me get some paper and a pen....ok, go ahead...anything else...no, thanks....bye.”

“What?” Angel leapt out of the chair sensing that they’d just received important information.

The Police Chief looked quickly around the room at all the occupants. “We just got Riley’s home address.”

“Let’s go,” Angel demanded and dashed out of the room before anyone could speak in response.

Following Angel’s lead, the rest of the group quickly ran after him. They didn’t know why, but there was a sudden sense of urgency to get where they were going...and fast.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

“Poor little Buffy.” Ford stepped even closer to her, leaning down slightly to look her in the eyes. “You should know better than to cross me.”

“Will you just do it!” Riley ordered, glaring at his brother.

“But it’s so much more fun this way,” chuckled Ford with a glance at Riley.

“Fun for you maybe,” the blonde man mumbled in annoyance.

Ford turned slight to look at Riley. “You know, you are really starting to get on my nerves. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“Like I could forget,” Riley spat back at him.

The dark haired man laughed at him and then turned back to face Buffy. “Now, Buffy, was there anything you wanted to say before I put a bullet in that stupid little blonde head of yours?”

Buffy shook her head ‘no’. Fear had completely taken over her, robbing her of the ability to speak. The tears that had been slowing a little were now once again steadily cascading down her face leaving wet trails in there wake.

“It only makes it more enjoyable if you cry,” Ford laughed heartlessly. When she did not respond to his baiting, his foot shot out and kicked her in the side.

The force of his second blow jerked Buffy sideways, knocking her whole body almost down to the floor. As she struggled to pull her body back up she felt the ropes around her hands loosen. Hope suddenly surged through her. The kick must have jarred the knots on the ropes. Maybe now she could get herself free.

Taking only a second to think, she carefully arranged herself so that Ford couldn’t see her hands. She had to distract him a bit longer until she could unbind her hands. Maybe then...well, maybe then she could do...something.

“So, what? You’re just going to kill me? You’ll never get away with it,” she spat at him, a renewed hatred blazing in her eyes. If she could just keep him talking a bit longer...

“Oh, I will, don’t you worry about that,” Ford told her with ease. His confidence in his plan, and overall cockiness, blinded him against the fact that Buffy was struggling to free herself.

Buffy’s shaking fingers worked at the ropes the entire time. With one last twist, she felt her arms drop away from the poll. They were still tied loosely together, but she was no longer attached to the poll. At least now she could run if the chance arose.

“They’ll find out. They won’t stop until you’re dead or in jail,” she spoke not only to Ford, but Riley as well. She noticed that the blonde seemed to want to distance himself from what was going on.

Ford just shook his head at her statement. It was time to end this, and now. Raising the gun, he pointed it at her forehead.

No! She couldn’t let this happen. She couldn’t just let him kill her without a fight. If she was going to do something it was now or never. And now seemed like a pretty good option at the moment.

With fear driven adrenaline pumping through her veins, Buffy gathered her waning strength. In the blink of an eye, her body shifted and her legs kicked outwards at the monster standing before her. The heels of her feet successfully made contact with Ford’s thighs, sending the unsuspecting man sprawling backwards and onto the floor, his gun falling about foot away.

Seeing her opportunity, her one chance for freedom, Buffy dove for the gun. She only hoped she reached it before either one of her captors did.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

On the entire eight and a half minute trip across town, Angel couldn’t shake the heart wrenching dread coursing through him. Something horrible was about to happen. He knew it deep inside and he knew he needed to get to Buffy.

Despite what he was feeling, Angel forced himself to keep quiet. He wanted to tell the driver to go faster. He wanted to do something...anything. They had to get there. Buffy needed him.

If anything happened to her...well, he didn’t want to think about it. He couldn’t lose her. Not when he had just got her back. She was his soul mate, his light, his life. Without her, life wouldn’t be worth living.

His head dropped into his hands as he thought about the fact that he could have kept all of this from happening. If he hadn’t left...if he hadn’t broken up with her....if he hadn’t gone to answer the phone earlier that night... Each and every thing he could have done differently echoed in his head. There just had to be something he could have done to prevent her from being in this situation.

The relentless guilt he felt came to a screeching halt as the car come to a jerky stop. Three other cars pulled up behind them containing Xander, Cordy, and nine other officers. They all climbed out of the cars and gathered in the parking lot across the street from the apartment building where Riley lived.

“Ok...now, we’re going to do this my way,” Thomas, the Police Chief looked pointedly at Angel. “We have no idea what the situation inside is. It’s possible they may not even be here.”

“Where do you want us Chief?” a male officer asked as he checked his weapon to make sure it was loaded.

“I want you and Martin to go in through the back. James and Carros, I want you two to watch the back entrance in case he tries to leave. Stansfield and Newford, you guys watch the front. The rest of us will go in through the front and approach the suspect’s apartment,” Thomas ordered and watched as his officers left to take their positions.

“I’m going in,” Angel stated in a tone that said he was not going to take ‘no’ for an answer.

Thomas stared at the determined man. He could say ‘no’, but he knew he’d just follow them anyway. “Fine, but I want all civilians to stay behind me and my officers.”

Angel was about to object, but he realized that they were the ones with the weapons and were the ones trained for such situations. As much as he hated it, he knew he had to do what was asked of him.

“Fine,” Angel grumbled in agreement.

“Let’s move out! And keep it quiet! We don’t want to alert him of our presence,” the Chief stated, pulling out his own weapon in preparation.

The group, five officers, Giles, and Angel, made their way across the parking lot toward the entrance of the apartment building. Cordelia and Xander had decided to stay by the cars not wanting to get in the way despite the fact that they wanted to help.

Just as they reached the sidewalk in front of the stairs the silence around them was broken by the pop of gunfire from within the building. The group stuttered to a halt at the deafening sound.

“NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” Angel roared in fear. Without thinking, he dashed up the stairs, leaving the remaining members of the group behind him.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Part 23 – Anything For You
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Instinct had taken over the moment he heard the gunshots. Nothing mattered except for getting to his beloved. He didn’t care that he wasn’t trained to handle kidnappers or murderers, or that he didn’t have a gun. They were just small details in his mind. He couldn’t just stand there as that rat-faced bastard...

Angel couldn’t finish the sentence. He couldn’t even think that she may be...be...no, he couldn’t say it or think it. He wouldn’t let it happen. Couldn’t let it happen. And he firmly ignored the little voice that was telling him that it may already be too late.

Pushing all thoughts aside, Angel flew down a flight of stairs. He didn’t know why he was going down them. He was just going where his heart was telling him to. Behind him, he could hear the footsteps of the others following, but they weren’t important at the moment.

The stairs ended in what looked to be a basement. Angel’s eyes wildly searched for a door or a room and found one a short distance to his right. Just as he took off toward the room the others arrived and he ignored their warning whispers to stop. He didn’t give a damn about putting himself in danger. All he knew was that he needed to get to Buffy.

Reaching the doorway in only a few strides, Angel came to an abrupt stop as his shocked eyes took in the scene before him. There was his Buffy...alive...standing there with a dangling rope knotted around both wrists, and a gun in her shaking hands. A foot or two in front of her lay a dark haired man with blood seeping out his chest, and beyond him, the man he knew to be Riley was standing with raised arms in defense of the gun Buffy was pointing at him.

Angel almost wanted to weep in joy at seeing her alive, and apparently okay. His mind couldn’t quite wrap itself around the fact that it looked like she had shot someone, that she had been the one responsible for the shots that he had heard only moments before. But none of that mattered. Buffy was okay and that was all he cared about.

“Buffy,” he whispered, almost unable to make his mouth speak.

The sound of Angel’s voice rocked Buffy to her core. She knew he’d find her. A small smile appeared on her face as she turned to look at him.

“Ang-,” she started to speak.

At that moment, Riley took advantage of her distraction and dove toward her. He had no intention of going to jail. None whatsoever.

Angel watched in horror as he saw Riley leap toward Buffy. The pair crashed to the floor as Angel sprinted into the room to save his love. The police officers charged in after him, followed by Giles and also Cordelia and Xander who’d come running after them when they heard the gunshots.

In a blur of motion, Angel had torn the blonde haired man off Buffy, throwing him into the closest wall. One look at Buffy to make sure she was fine and he stalked toward the now half-conscious man. The onlookers grimaced as they heard the crunching of bone when Angel seized him by the wrist.

Punch after punch reined down on the defenseless man’s face. Rage possessed Angel as he relentlessly battered the man. He would have continued if he had not faintly heard the pleading voice of his beloved.

“Angel, baby, please stop,” Buffy spoke loudly as she kneeled next to where Angel was on top of Riley. “Angel, it’s all right. Angel! Look at me!”

His fist stopped mid-motion and he turned to look at Buffy. Beyond her, he could see the police check on the other man and in a distance he could hear the sounds of an ambulance’s siren, but the only thing he could focus on was Buffy.

Nearly falling off the unconscious form of Riley, Angel lunged at Buffy, pulling her to him. His bloodied hands tangled into her hair as he reveled in being able to hold her alive.

“Oh God, Buffy,” he sobbed into her ear.

“Shh, I’m all right, Angel,” she attempted to soothe him.

“I thought I’d lost you,” his hoarse voice spoke to her. His hands couldn’t stop reassuring him that she really was in his arms.

“I know, I thought I’d never see you again,” Buffy cried against his chest, her own tears now falling.

For long minutes they just held each other. Joyful tears fell from all that watched the reunion, even from the most seasoned male police officers. None of them knew what happened in that room before they’d gotten there, but they were all happy to see Buffy alive.

Slowly, Angel pulled back to look at Buffy. Neither he nor Buffy noticed the commotion going on around them. His eyes roamed over her body and up to her face noticing the darkening bruise on her cheek almost immediately.

He smoothed his fingers over the enflamed skin gently. “You’re hurt.”

“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing,” she murmured as she nuzzled against his hand. She couldn’t feel any pain, only the soothing touch of her soul mate.

“Giles,” Angel spoke as she saw the older man standing next to them.

Buffy looked up at her step-father as he crouched down next to where they were seated on the ground. Her eyes glanced beyond him and saw all of the others present in the room. Up until that point, she hadn’t even noticed them.

“I’m so glad you are all right,” the British man choked out, his emotions getting the better of him.

“Oh, Giles,” Buffy cried softly as she reached out and hugged him. “Where’s Mom?”

“She back at the house. I already called her and told her you were okay,” he explained as he fought to keep the tears out of his eyes.

“Hey Buffy,” Xander smiled at his friend.

“Xand, Cordy,” Buffy greeted the couple, pulling them into quick hugs. Her eyes, though, were on the stretcher that was taking Riley out of the room.

Stepping away from the group, she looked toward where Ford had fallen after she had shot him. Instead of seeing his body, all she could see was a crisp white sheet with red stains draped over his form. Almost unintentionally, she took a step toward him.

“Buffy...,” Angel spoke softly.

“I-is he d-dead,” she stuttered, not hearing Angel speak.

“Yes,” one of the EMT’s told her with a sympathetic look.

“Oh,” she frowned in response.

“Buffy,” Giles started, putting a calming hand on her shoulder. He couldn’t imagine what she must be thinking knowing that she had killed someone. “I’m sure you did what you had to do.”

“I-I know. It’s just...,” she trailed off, her eyes closing slightly before she turned back to her friends and family. “I know I should feel bad, but I don’t. I can’t.”

Angel walked up to her and took her in his arms. “No one expects you feel a certain way, baby. He hurt you. You did what you had to.”

“Miss Summers?” a man interrupted.

Buffy turned her head to look at the man speaking to her. “Yes?”

“My name is Thomas Porter. I’m Chief of Police, and also a friend of Rupert’s,” he first explained. “I know you must be exhausted from your ordeal, but I need to ask you some questions so we can find out what happened here.”

Angel was about to object and tell the man to go to Hell, but Buffy spoke up before him.

“Okay. I understand. C-could we possibly go back to the house? I’d like to shower and get out of these clothes,” she suggested, looking down at her grimy shirt and pants and chaffed wrists that were still bound by a rope. “And I don’t suppose someone would want to untie me?”

They all laughed slightly at the small joke while Angel quickly freed her hands. A few minutes later most of the group made their way out of the room and up the stairs with Buffy and Angel trailing behind a small ways.

Gazing down, Buffy grinned and then looked back up at Angel. “You’re wearing the pants.”

“Anything for you, baby. Anything,” he answered, placing a sweet kiss on her lips.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

An hour later, everyone was seated in the Giles’ living room. There was hardly room for everyone to sit. Giles, Joyce, Willow and Oz were seated on the couch with Willow on Oz’s lap. Cordy and Xander were on the loveseat, and Thomas and another officer were sitting on the two chairs next to the couch. Angel was standing next to the fireplace, his eyes hovering over Buffy as she nervously wandered the room.

Despite the fact that she’d showered and changed, Buffy was still feeling dirty. Maybe it was because of what had happened that night and the fact that another man’s death had occurred at her hand, or maybe it was the return of memories she wished she hadn’t remembered. Whichever it was didn’t really matter, though. She still felt dirty.

Her eyes glanced around the room at all of the people she loved and to the two police officers. No one had spoken and she knew they were waiting for her, waiting until she was ready. She didn’t know if she’d ever be ready to face what had happened not only earlier that night, but also the events that had triggered it.

She knew she had to tell, though. It was time to get it all out. She could only hope that unburdening herself would somehow make her feel better.

“I, uh, remember it all now. Everything,” she blurted out, her hands feeling cold and clammy.

The others glanced at each other, knowledge lighting up in their eyes as the realized what she meant. And they also knew that whatever memories had returned weren’t good and had something to do with her kidnapping.

“Why don’t you start with tonight, Miss Summers,” the Chief suggested as nicely as possible.

“O-okay,” she agreed and then relayed what had happened from the moment Angel had gone to answer the phone.

She told them about waking up in what she now knew was the basement of an apartment building, finding Riley there, then Ford appearing. Her voice stumbled a bit as she repeated the things Ford had said to her and how she knew he intended to kill her. Reliving the night was almost as bad experiencing it the first time.

“So Mr...uh...” Thomas looked down at his notes. “Billy Fordham was in possession of the firearm?”

“Yes. He didn’t have it the whole time. He didn’t bring it out until later,” Buffy answered, shivering at the memory of the gun pointed at her head.

“He...he was taunting me. I don’t know why. And then I guess I pissed him off because h-he hit me.” Her hand raised up to touch her still stinging cheek.

Angel’s eyes narrowed at hearing the words. He wished the prick was still alive so he could teach him a lesson about hitting women.

Buffy met Angel’s eyes and smiled as much as she could. She knew exactly what he was thinking

“Did he tell you why he and Mr. Finn kidnapped you?” Thomas questioned, jotting down something in his notebook.

“No, not really,” Buffy shook her head. “He just kept saying that I was a problem and that I needed to be taken care of.”

“A problem?” Thomas repeated with a frown.

“Yeah, I..I didn’t know what he meant u-until later,” she whispered and turned her eyes away from everyone. This was the part she didn’t want to talk about, but she knew she had to.

“How so?” the Chief pushed. He hated doing it, but it was his job to do so.

“I...well...like I said, he was taunting me and then hit me...and then when I looked up at him as he stood there laughing at me it all came back.” Buffy wiped at a tear that had started to fall.

The room remained silent as she paced across the room and peered out the window. Taking a deep breath she turned herself back to her audience.

“You see, Riley was Ford’s half-brother.” At the shocked gasps she paused. “I-I had remembered that earlier when I saw Riley and Ford standing next to each other. But at that point I thought I had only known him from seeing his picture once. I hadn’t remembered the rest.”

“The rest?” Thomas repeated in confusion.

Buffy shook her head ‘yes’ and continued. “Two weeks before my attack...the one that put me in the coma...Riley showed up at our apartment. He lived in Iowa with his mother and I’d never met him before. Apparently, he was in trouble and had come to Ford for help. He said he had gotten some girl pregnant and she was blackmailing him to keep it quiet. He didn’t want anyone to know because he had a good reputation there or something.”

“So he wanted Mr. Fordham to help with his situation?” Thomas clarified.

“Yes. He had been staying with us for a few days when the girl showed up. She’d found out where he was. Then a couple days after that they...” she shivered at the memory, wrapping her arms around her midsection. Angel moved to walk toward her, but Buffy held her hand up to stop him.

“They told me that they had set up a time to meet her somewhere...said they were going to offer her money. I went with them that night...we were going to go out after the meeting. When we got to the place, I waited in the car for them while they went to go talk to her.” A few tears trailed down her cheeks. “I-I heard a s-scream so I got out of the car and went into the building. When...when I d-did...I-I saw Ford with a g-gun. The girl was b-begging him to let her go...a-and he j-just shot h-her.”

Angel couldn’t resist any longer and walked up to Buffy, pulling her into his arms. She collapsed against him, crying softly. His arms soothingly rubbed her back as he wished there was something more he could do for her.

“You don’t have to keep going,” he spoke softly to her.

“No. It’s okay. I have to get this all out,” she shook her head, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized for her breakdown. The group smiled sympathetically at her.

“It’s okay, Miss Summers. It’s perfectly understandable,” Thomas replied. “Do you wish to continue?”

“Yeah.” She pulled away from Angel, but remained in his arms. “Umm, I...I guess I must have made a noise when he s-shot her because Ford and Riley turned to look at me. The look in Ford’s eyes...I’d never seen it before...so cold and uncaring. I was more scared of him at that moment than any other time I’d been with him. So I just turned and ran.”

“That was the night you came to my apartment,” Willow stated in sudden understanding.

“Yeah. I-I didn’t know where else to go,” Buffy answered while gripping Angel’s hands tighter.

“Why didn’t you stay with me?” the red head asked.

“I knew he’d come after me and I didn’t want to put you in danger,” Buffy explained. “So I just hid from him, tried to stay away from anywhere he might find me...but it didn’t work.”

“He found you causing the assault that led to your coma,” Thomas surmised, writing down the new information.

“Yeah. He thought I was going to go to the police about the girl,” summed up Buffy, feeling a knot of tension loosen inside her at finally having revealed the events of months before.

“That is why he said you were a problem,” said Giles, now understanding what had transpired.

“Okay, I think we can piece together most of the events. Let’s assume that Mr. Finn was using his job as a way to spy on you,” posed the Police Chief. “He could keep tabs on your situation. From what your family told me, you had just recently regained some of your memory. Mr. Finn likely relayed this to Mr. Fordham which led him to kidnap you with the intention of...taking care of his problem.”

“I did happen to mention to Riley that I had remembered some things,” Buffy stated in agreement.

“So that tells us the why. What happened that led to the shooting tonight?” Thomas asked, moving the discussion to recent events.

“I, umm...Ford was pointing the gun at me...I guess I pissed him off again because he kicked me-.” Everyone in the room heard Angel growl loudly at the statement.

Buffy turned and met Angel’s eyes. “I’m glad he did,” she tried to calm him. “I’d been tied to a pole and the kick knocked the ropes loose. I managed to get my hands untied from the pole and then Ford was coming at me...I-I just kicked my legs out as hard as I could. It knocked him down and the gun fell out of his hands.”

Her eyes closed as she fought off some nausea. “I saw the gun and just dove for it. I-I got the gun in my hands...a-and then Ford was stumbling toward me and I j-just fired.”

“And that was when we arrived,” Thomas finished.

“Yeah,” Buffy answered, yawning slightly.

“Is there anything else you need to know tonight?” Angel interrupted. He could tell Buffy was exhausted for her ordeal.

“No, I think that’s fine for now. If I have any further questions I will stop by tomorrow,”

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

After talking with her family and friends a little while longer, Buffy finally found herself tucked comfortably in her bed, her head resting on Angel’s chest. She was completely exhausted but couldn’t seem to make herself fall asleep. Everything that had happened to her the past few years was running through her head. It was so hard for her to remember what she had turned into.

In the span of a few years, she’d gone from being a happy teenager with a wonderful boyfriend to an abused young woman with a boyfriend who had committed murder and then put her in a coma. In between she’d been played by Parker, gotten pregnant, lost the baby and then pushed all of her friends away.

Her life had just spiraled out of control and she’d become someone she didn’t even recognize. She couldn’t help but wonder who it was she was supposed to be now. She couldn’t be the innocent teenager anymore and she certainly didn’t want to be the meek shell of a woman she was with Ford. So who was she now?

“Are you okay?” Angel sleepily mumbled when he noticed Buffy wasn’t asleep.

“Yeah. There’s just so much to think about,” she answered him while running her hand across his chest.

“Want to talk about it?” he questioned in concern.

“No, not really,” she shrugged. She was all talked out for the night. “Thank you for saving me.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for. You saved yourself,” he answered, pushing a piece of hair off her forehead.

“I wanted to say it anyway,” she mumbled before finally drifting off to sleep.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

A few days later, Angel sat in his apartment thinking about the past few days. Things had calmed down greatly since the night of the kidnapping. Riley had spent two days in the hospital before being transferred to jail. He was being charged with kidnapping, and attempted murder against Buffy, and also first degree murder in relation to the girl Ford had shot months earlier. They had all been relieved to find out that Riley would enter a guilty plea on all charges and that Buffy wouldn’t have to face a trial.

Angel thought he should be happy, but instead he was worried. Buffy had become distant since the kidnapping. She wasn’t pushing him or anyone else away, but she didn’t seem all that there either. He couldn’t help but worry about her after all that she’d been through.

There was also a part of him that thought she was second guessing her relationship with him. Now that all her memories were back maybe she didn’t want him anymore. Maybe he wasn’t what she wanted. He wished he could to talk to her, but he also didn’t want to push her so he was just hoping that she would decide to open up to him

The ringing of his doorbell pulled Angel out of his brooding. Opening the door he was happy to find Buffy on the other side.

“Hey,” he greeted her with a smile.

“Hey,” she answered back before standing up on her tip toes to give him a kiss.

Some of Angel’s worries eased at the action. If she didn’t want to be with him she wouldn’t kiss him the way she did. He could still tell, though, that there were things on her mind.

“Come in,” he told her when the kiss broke.

“Thanks.” Buffy walked into the apartment, tossing her purse and jacket onto one of the chairs. “How was work today?”

“Same as usual,” Angel shrugged, taking a seat on the couch. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” sighed Buffy. She should have known that Angel would be able to read her. She knew she’d been acting a bit weird.

“Are you sure?” he pushed, hoping she would talk to him.

“I’m...okay...or about as okay as I can be,” she tried to answer as honestly as possible. “But there is something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay,” Angel spoke slowly, his worry increasing ten-fold.

Buffy paced around the room for a minute before turning to look at Angel. “I’m, umm, I’m going away for a while.”

“What?!?” he gasped, his fears coming true. “You’re leaving me?”

“No!” Buffy yelped, walking over to kneel in front of Angel. “No, Angel. I’m not leaving you.”

“But you said...” he trailed off in confusion.

“I said I’m going away for a little while, but I’m not leaving you,” she comforted her worried soul mate.

“I don’t understand,” he frowned at her.

“Angel...everything is so confusing. So much has happened to me...there are so many things I have to face. I have no idea who I am anymore. I need some time to accept the things that I’ve done and things that have happened,” she explained gently to him, hoping that he would understand.

“Oh...I can see how it must all be hard for you,” he conceded although he hated the idea of her leaving.

“I will come back, I promise,” she assured him, taking his hands into hers. “I just need some time to heal and put the past behind me.”

“Where will you go?” he asked, worried that she was going off on her own.

“There’s a place in England. Wes, my shrink, used to work there. It’s some kind of serenity resort on the coast somewhere. He said it’s really quiet, and there’s a friend of his named Lorne that works there and will be my therapist,” she explained about the place she would be going to.

“When do you leave?” he asked softly, already missing her despite the fact that she was still there.

“Early tomorrow morning. I have to get home soon and pack.” No sooner had the words left her mouth had Angel pulled her into his lap, embracing her tightly.

“I’m going to miss you,” he held back tears as he spoke.

“I’ll miss you too,” she whispered gently. “But I promise I will be back.”

“How long will you be gone?” he asked as he held her in his arms.

“I don’t know, maybe a month or two.” She looked up into his eyes. “I’ll write to you everyday, and I’ll call you.”

“I hate that you’re leaving, but I understand that you need to,” he reassured her, brushing his hand across her still bruised cheek.

“Thank you,” she smiled at him, placing her head onto her chest.

They sat holding each other in silence, just enjoying their last few minutes together for what would be a while. Buffy wondered if she was doing the right thing by leaving, but she knew it was what she had to do. It was the best way for her to learn to accept her past and to allow herself to move on to the future. A future that she would have with her Angel.

“I better go,” she finally said after long minutes in Angel’s arms.

Rising off the couch, Buffy walked to the door with Angel following behind her. As she reached the door, Angel pulled her into his arms again, kissing her passionately. He didn’t want to let her go, but he knew he had to.

“I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you, too,” she repeated, her cheeks becoming wet with tears.

Slowly, she pulled away from him and out the door. Their hands remained grasped until she was too far away. Angel watched as she backed down the hallway, finally turning away from him when she reached the stairs.

His eyes remained focused on where his beloved had been long after she had left. She’d only been gone a few minutes and already his heart ached for her. He wanted to run after her. He wanted to beg her to stay, but he knew he couldn’t. She needed this time to herself.

Walking back into his apartment, Angel stared unfocused at the interior. Dejectedly, he sat down on the couch and wondered how he was going to make it through the next few months without his beloved’s presence in his life.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Part 24 – Forever
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AN: Lyrics are from the song ‘Take My Breath Away’ written by Giorgio Moroder and Tom Whitlock, performed by Berlin for the Top Gun soundtrack.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

A sad smiled graced Angel’s face as he sat at his desk staring at his computer monitor. He’d just finished reading Buffy’s latest email from the resort in England and although he was happy to hear from her, he couldn’t help but be saddened by the fact that she was halfway around the world and not in Sunnydale with him. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand why she left, but it also didn’t mean that he didn’t miss her.

Buffy had been in England for almost three months. Three agonizing lonely months. To Angel, it felt more like a year. He hoped that each day would be closer to the day that she would return, but so far, Buffy had not once mentioned when she would be back.

They talked by email almost every day, a fact with Angel was eternally grateful for. Her emails were the light in his dull days and he looked forward to reading each and every one. Sometimes her emails would be rather generic, but other times she would talk about the things she was learning through her therapy or on her own. Even though they were thousands of miles apart the daily emails, and the occasional phone calls were helping them rebuild the closeness that they had had long ago.

Above all else, though, Angel could tell that Buffy was doing better emotionally and was learning to deal with her past. Right after she’d left, the tone of her emails had been full of sadness, but each day they seemed to become more positive and happy. Her therapist, Lorne, was helping her deal with the things she had done, and why she had done them. So even though Angel missed her each second she was gone, he was pleased that she was getting the help and support she needed to move on with her life.

Still, there was that nagging voice in the back of his head that wondered if he would have a place in her life when she returned. Would she still want him? Or would she realize that he was part of her past? He tried to tell himself that he was being ridiculous. Buffy’s emails should have been enough to assure him of his place in her life, but he couldn’t help but worry that he would lose her.

Whatever the future of their relationship was, he wouldn’t know until she returned...whenever that would be. For now, he would just have to be content with exchanging emails.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Buffy sighed and stared out the small window next to her. Her fingers idly reached up to touch the cool glass for a moment before returning to her lap. She picked up the magazine in front of her and flipped through the pages for a few minutes before closing it and putting it away. Finding nothing else to do, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes, hoping sleep would take her.

Instead of falling asleep, her thoughts turned to Angel. She missed him in ways she couldn’t even describe which, in a way, she found slightly odd. They had been apart for five years before he returned to Sunnydale, and then they had only been back together for a few weeks. Yet she missed him like they had never been separated.

Even though she missed him terribly, she knew that she’d made the right choice by going away for a while. The resort...or whatever the hell it was...was just was she had needed. She knew she could have probably stayed in Sunnydale and worked through her issues, but there she would have had her family and friends hovering and pushing. They would have meant well, but she just needed some time by herself.

So, no, she didn’t regret going to England. The past three months had been a true learning experience for her. Lorne, her therapist was amazing, even if he was a little odd. He didn’t do things like most shrinks. Only on rare occasions had she sat in his office for one of their sessions. Often they would take long walks or sit in the gardens and talk. It was much more relaxing and easier for her to talk that way.

And talk they had. About everything: her childhood, her parents’ divorce, her father’s apparent lack of interest in her, Angel leaving, the miscarriage, and everything with Ford. Lorne had listened to everything without passing judgment. He’d helped her sort through her feelings on the different events in her life and to understand why she’d reacted the way she had to those events.

Above all, he’d taught her not to blame herself for the past. Sure, she’d made some bad choices and done things she regretted, but life is about making mistakes and learning from them. And, really, the mistakes she’d made weren’t all that hard to understand. After the pregnancy and miscarriage she’d been emotionally broken and Lorne had helped her see that the choices she had made, even if they were bad choices, were a natural reaction

With time and Lorne’s help, Buffy was learning to forgive herself for her past. She wasn’t quite there yet, and honestly, she wasn’t sure if she would ever get there. But as Lorne had told her, healing was a process, not something that would happen over night, or over three months. She still had a long ways to go, but she was determined try her hardest to leave the past in the past. It was what she had to do if she had any hope of moving on with her life. A life she hoped would be with her Angel.

She smiled as she thought of him, but underneath the happy grin she was worried about where things stood with him. Would he still want her when she got back? Sure, he told her he loved her in each of his emails, but what if he was just saying that so she wouldn’t go crazy again? What if he had met someone else while she was away?

Buffy opened her eyes and shook her head, trying to push those thoughts away. It wasn’t good for her to think so negatively. Angel had told her he loved her. She had to believe in that.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

“Willow, do you have to put relish on the popcorn?” Xander questioned with a grimace as he, Cordelia, Oz and Willow sat in the Summers’ den watching movies. “Even I wouldn’t eat that.”

Willow just glared at him while Oz defended girlfriend. “Cravings.”

“Still, it’s gross,” Xander stated while opening a package of Twinkies.

“Oh, like those are any better?” Cordelia smirked at his choice of food.

“So...did anyone talk to Angel today?” Willow asked, hoping to take the subject away from food and wanting to prevent Cordy and Xander from bickering.

“Not today, but I stopped by his apartment last night for a little while,” Xander relayed while shifted to get more comfortable on the floor in front of the couch.

“How was he?” Oz asked as he massaged his pregnant girlfriend’s feet.

“Same as usual. Mopey and brooding.” Xander shook his head as he thought about his friend’s mood.

“I hope Buffy comes back soon. I don’t know how much more I can take of him acting like that,” groaned Cordy in exasperation.

“He just misses her, Cordelia,” Willow frowned at the brunette. Sometimes that girl had no compassion.

“I know, but jeez, I can only take looking at him like that for so long,” Cordy replied, taking a sip of her diet cola.

“I gotta agree with Cordy. Buffy better come back soon or Angel is going to go nuts or something,” Xander said with a shrug.

Willow sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly. “I know, but we can’t force her to come back before she’s ready.”

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

The cooling water of the Pacific Ocean lapped at Angel’s bare feet as he walked along the beach. He hadn’t been able to stand sitting around doing nothing in his silent, lonely apartment so he had decided to take a walk on the beach. The serenity of the place was soothing to his weary soul.

Angel didn’t know what it was about the beach that appealed so much to him, especially at night when the noisy bathers of the daytime where gone. There was just something about walking barefoot in the soft damp sand, watching the moonlight reflect off the rippling water that brought peace to his soul. Ever since he was a teenager he would find himself taking long walks along the waterline when he needed to de-stress or just some quiet.

So instead of sitting in his apartment, he’d wandered down to the beach in hopes that it would take his mind of Buffy. Unfortunately, he was finding that the quiet solitude of his surroundings were only causing him to think more about her. It probably didn’t help that Buffy had often taken these walks with him after they had met.

At least being out of his apartment kept him away from phones and computers. With those two items around he was too tempted to contact Buffy and beg her to come home. As much as he wanted to do that, he couldn’t. He had to let her return when she was ready. It wouldn’t help her if he made her feel bad about being gone.

Sighing, Angel plopped himself unceremoniously down onto the sand. He momentarily thought about the fact that he should have put on track pants because he was now getting sand on his black slacks, but he really didn’t care. The pants could be dry cleaned. He was just glad he’d put a jacket on since there was a slight chill in the air from the breeze drifting in off the ocean.

Tilting his head upwards, Angel stared up at the half-full moon in the nearly cloudless night sky. He wondered if Buffy was looking at the moon at that moment, but then realized that was impossible since England was more than a couple time zones away. Maybe she had looked at the moon when it had been night there, though.

Unconsciously, his hands shifted down to touch the still warm sand beneath him. For long minutes, his fingers traced indiscernible patterns in the soft yet coarse material as he stared up at the moon. Lost in the thrall of the nighttime sky, Angel didn’t notice his visitor until monotonous lull of the sound of the waves was broken by a voice speaking to him.

“I thought I’d find you here,” the unexpected guest spoke softly.

Angel’s head snapped around at the sound. His eyes widened at the sight and he briefly wondered if he was hallucinating. “Buffy?”

“You were expecting Julia Roberts?” she smiled teasingly, walking over to where he was sitting.

A grin formed on Angel’s face at the typical Buffy response. “Yes, but she doesn’t want anyone to know about our relationship.”

At the statement, Buffy released a light-hearted chuckle that warmed Angel’s heart. He couldn’t believe that Buffy was really there, standing only a foot away. And from the simple act of her laughing, Angel could already tell there was a difference in her. There was a tenderness to her laugh that hadn’t been present before she left.

“Cheating on me already?” Buffy joked although there was an underlying seriousness to her question.

Sensing the meaning behind her words, Angel smiled lovingly at her as he stared into her eyes. “Never. No one could ever hold a candle to you.”

Moisture formed in her eyes at the proclamation. She’d known in her heart that Angel still wanted her, but it was nice to hear it spoken out loud.

Angel reached up a hand toward Buffy which she accepted and then lowered herself down onto the sand next to him. The hold his hand had on hers lingered even after she’d found a comfortable position. He just couldn’t seem to make himself release the appendage, internally fearing that if he did she might disappear.

“You’re back,” he whispered as his thumb stroked the soft skin on the back of her hand. It seemed to have just dawned on him that Buffy, his Buffy, was really sitting there next to him.

“Yeah, I’m back,” she spoke softly, gazing into his dark brown eyes.

“I missed you!” Angel choked out, his voice faltering slightly. A few tears fell from his eyes as he swiftly pulled Buffy onto his lap and hugged her tightly.

“I missed you, too,” came Buffy’s reply, muffled somewhat because she was squashed against Angel’s chest.

Reluctantly, Angel released his fierce grip on Buffy’s body, but kept her seated on his lap. He stared adoringly at her beautiful face when she lifted her head to look at him. Not able to hold himself back any longer, Angel lowered his head until his lips met hers

The tension that had been in his body since Buffy had left instantly melted away as his mouth touched hers. When her lips parted Angel slipped his tongue between them, reveling in the warm sweetness inside.

Buffy moaned as she felt Angel’s tongue twine with her own. Her hands reached up to grip the back of Angel’s neck, her fingernails scraping lightly against his skin. In the back of her mind, she wondered how she could have possibly gone three months without being this close to her Angel.

Gasping slightly for breath, the pair finally pulled apart. Happy smiles played on the faces of each as they gazed into each other’s eyes for long minutes. Angel’s hand reached up to brush a piece of hair off Buffy’s face before trailing delicately across her cheek.

“I’m so glad you back,” Angel whispered, his hand still touching her cheek.

“Me too,” Buffy agreed, laying a hand over Angel’s.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?” he questioned, finally taking his hand away from her face and wrapping his arm around her waist.

“I wanted to surprise you,” she smiled at him placing a light kiss on his lips. “And actually, it was kind of spur of the moment.”

“Spur of the moment?” Angel repeated, a little confused.

“Yeah. I’d been thinking about it for the past week. And yesterday I woke up and I realized that I wanted to come home,” she explained, shifting her body to sit more comfortably on Angel’s lap.

“Are you sure it was okay to leave?” Angel questioned, concerned for her well-being.

“You don’t want me here?” Buffy asked, slightly hurt by his question.

“No. No! Of course I want you here. I missed you every second you were gone. I just want to make sure that you were ready to leave,” clarified Angel, pulling Buffy against him so that her back was against his chest and his arms around her waist.

“Yes, I was ready to leave,” she assured him. “I didn’t want to be away any longer.”

“So you’re feeling better?” he hesitantly asked her.

“Yeah, I’m...okay. Better than I was at least,” she told him honestly. “Things are less confusing than they were. I understand myself and things that I’ve done more than I did.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you,” he spoke, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“Thanks,” sighed Buffy. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be completely over everything. I’ll never forget about the miscarriage or what happened with Ford, and Riley, but I’m learning to deal with it all.”

“One day at a time, right?” he replied, happy to have Buffy back in his arms.

“Right. That’s what Lorne said at least,” Buffy relayed. “I’m going to be seeing Wesley again now that I’m back here since I’m still kinda a work in progress, but I don’t mind. It helps to have someone like that to talk to. I’ll miss Lorne. He was really cool, but I wanted to come home.”

“I’m glad you did,” smiled Angel. He knew Buffy still had a long road ahead of her in her healing process, and he would be there for each step, but he was just glad she was home. “How did you find me here anyway?”

“I went to your apartment from the airport, but you weren’t there. I remembered how much you liked to walk on the beach so I thought it was worth it to come check. And here you were,” answered Buffy, turning slightly to look at Angel.

Angel chuckled at the statement. Buffy knew him so well. Not that that was a bad thing. It only made them closer. “What did you do with your bags?”

“I didn’t want to carry them with me so I used the key you gave me and put them in your apartment. I’ll take them over to the house later,” responded Buffy, snuggling against Angel.

“Or you could leave them th-...never mind,” Angel quickly corrected himself, realizing what he’d unintentionally said out loud.

“What?” Buffy asked softly, not sure if she’d really heard what he’d just said.

“Nothing,” Angel replied hastily, chastising himself for even considering asking Buffy to move in with him.

“No, tell me what you meant to say,” Buffy demanded, looking directly at Angel.

“You, uh, could stay, uh, with me,” he mumbled almost inaudibly.

“You want me to live with you?” Buffy questioned in total shock.

“Umm, yeah,” Angel looked down nervously. “But you don’t have to...I mean, if you don’t want to you don’t have to.”

“Angel,” started Buffy, gently raising his head. “I’d love to live with you.”

“You would?” he asked, not believing what Buffy had just said.

“Yeah, I would,” she repeated, taking one of his hands into hers. “One thing I realized while I was in England was that I didn’t want to be apart from you anymore.”

“Me either,” agreed Angel, leaning in to kiss Buffy gently.

The kiss was more tender and less passionate than their previous one, but still filled with love. Angel felt like his soul was flying. Buffy was back, and she wanted to move in with him. He couldn’t think of anything that would make him happier...well, almost, but he tucked that thought into the back of his mind. He could plan out that little idea later.

“I love you,” he proclaimed when the kiss ended.

“I love you, too,” smiled Buffy, a small yawn escaping her lips.

“Tired?” Angel asked with a frown.

“A little...the whole time difference thing, ya know,” shrugged Buffy, not wanting the moment to end.

“Do you want to go home?” He couldn’t help but grin at the word home. His home was now Buffy’s home.

“Yeah, but I want to stop by and see the gang and Mom and Giles for a few minutes,” Buffy answered, yawning again.

“Ok, but only for a few minutes. You need to get some sleep.”

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

“Xander! Be quiet! How am I supposed to hear the movie if you ke-...BUFFY!?!?” shrieked Willow, pushing her growing body off of the couch.

“Willow!” Buffy greeted her friend happily, giving her a hug. “Oh! Look at you!” she stated, placing a hand on the red head’s distended stomach. Deep inside, she couldn’t help but feel a small pang of sadness at seeing Willow’s condition. It reminded her of the baby she had lost years before, but still she was happy for her friend.

“I know...I’m starting to feel like a cow,” laughed Willow, patting the ever-growing bulge.

“Hey Buff!” stated Xander, now standing next to Willow.

“Hey Xand.” Buffy gave him and then Cordy hugs.

“I’m glad you’re back. Now we won’t have watch Angel mope anymore,” Cordy spoke with a pointed look to Angel, and receiving an elbow in the side from Willow because of the statement.

“Moping huh?” chuckled Buffy, looking at Angel with a raised eyebrow. Angel only shrugged in response.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you because I am, but what are you doing here?” Willow questioned, sitting back down on the couch.

“I decided it was time to come home. I missed everyone,” Buffy answered, smiling at her friends. Yes, she was definitely happy to be home.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?” the red head asked from her spot next to Oz who was being his usual stoic self.

“It was sort of a last minute decision,” explained Buffy, wrapping an arm around Angel’s waist.

For the next twenty minutes the friends chatted a little, catching up on things that had been going on. They would have talked longer, but it was apparent that Buffy was exhausted. So after hugging all of her friends again, Buffy went to leave with Angel.

“You’re going with Angel?” Cordy asked matter-of-factly.

“Uh, yeah. I’m, uh, going to be staying with Angel,” Buffy replied sheepishly.

“Oh Buffy! That’s great,” sighed Willow giddily.

“Yeah,” grinned Buffy. “I think so too.”

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

~two weeks later~

“Angel! Please tell me where we are going!!” Buffy pleaded as she sat in Angel’s car.

“Nope,” grinned Angel, casting an eye in Buffy’s direction. He laughed when he saw Buffy slump down in the seat with her arms crossed and lower lip jutting out. “Pouting won’t make me tell you.”

“Fine,” she grumbled, really only a little annoyed that he wouldn’t tell her.

All she knew was that wherever they were going they were going to have a casual dinner. That was all Angel had told her. She couldn’t help but wonder what the big secret was, but Angel was steadfast in his decision to not tell her anything else.

Contenting herself with staring out the window of the car, Buffy thought about the two weeks since she’d returned from England. In the simplest terms, they had been absolutely wonderful. After years of stagnating and engaging in self-destructive behavior, her life was finally coming together. She was beginning to reach that comfort zone that had eluded her for so long.

And then there was Angel. In just two weeks, Buffy realized that she felt closer to him than she ever had before. On the nights they didn’t hang out with the gang, they would stay in and talk. Sometimes their conversations would be about their friends, or things they wanted to do, other times they would talk about the past. They each shared aspects of their lives from the five years they were apart. And with each conversation, the demons of their pasts seemed to haunt them a little less.

Recently they had been talking about what she wanted to do next in her life. The debate was over whether she wanted to go back to college and get a degree or not. So far, Buffy was leaning towards returning, only part-time, but she was still undecided. She had, though, decided to apply for a part-time job at the local women’s shelter. After having gone through the things she had, she wanted to help women who were in similar situations. It was a way she could make something good come out of her own experiences.

“We’re here,” spoke Angel, startling her out of her internal thoughts.

“Huh? Oh we’re...” she looked out the window at the scenery. “At the old mansion on Crawford Street?”

“Yup,” Angel answered, revealing nothing else.

“Why?” questioned Buffy, her brow scrunching in confusion.

“Because.” Angel had to force himself not to laugh at the frustrated glare on Buffy’s face. “Come on.”

He held out his hand, which Buffy reluctantly took, and walked in the direction of the house. Instead of entering, though, Angel led her to a path along the side of the house that went up a hill. The almost pitch black path made Buffy a little nervous, and she stumbled once over a large tree root. But when they reached they reached the end of the path, Buffy found herself in awe of what she saw.

“Oh my God!” Her eyes darted around catching every detail of what was in front of her.

The path had led to an open space on the top of the hill the behind the mansion. Moonlight cast a soft glow all around and below, she could see the lights of all the buildings in Sunnydale. The aesthetic beauty of the place wasn’t what caught her attention, though. That was held by the elaborate setup in the middle of the clearing.

There was a large navy blue blanket spread out on the ground with tall white lit candles placed at each corner. A few small gray pillows, and another blanket, this one gray and white plaid, were neatly placed on the navy blue blanket. At one end, there was a large basket and a bucket holding a bottle of wine and at another end a CD player and a few CD’s sat. It was truly one of the most romantic things she had ever seen.

“You did all this?” she inquired as she walked closer to the scene.

“Do you like it?” he whispered into her ear, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

“It’s beautiful. How did you do all this? I was with you all day long,” she questioned, turning her head to look at him.

“I had a little help from Xander and Cordy,” he revealed, taking her hand to lead her to sit on the blanket. “Hungry?”

“Mmm, starved,” responded Buffy, checking out the delicious food Angel was pulling out the basket.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

“I am stuffed,” groaned Buffy, rubbing her full stomach.

“I wonder why,” laughed Angel, sipping at his red wine.

“Hey! I was hungry!” defended Buffy, knowing she’d been a bit of a pig.

She watched curiously as Angel stood and walked over to the CD player. He put a CD in and then made his way back to Buffy. “Dance with me?”

“I’d love to,” Buffy smiled at his request, and took the hand he offered to help her up as a song began to play from the nearby radio.

Watching every motion
In my foolish lover's game

On this endless ocean
Finally lovers know no shame

“I love this song,” she spoke softly, wrapping her arms around Angel’s neck and resting her head on his chest.

“I remember,” murmured Angel, his hand lightly caressing Buffy’s back as they began to sway to the music.

Turning and returning
To some secret place inside

Watching in slow motion
As you turn around and say

Their bodies melted together as one as they danced to the quiet beat of the music. Buffy’s head lay comfortably on Angel’s chest, while Angel’s cheek rested lightly against her forehead. One of Angel’s hands reached for Buffy’s left hand, grasping it gently before pulling it up to his lips to place a kiss on the back.

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Buffy raised her head to look up at Angel. Using her right hand, she guided his head lower until his lips touched hers. Their bodies continued to sway as their mouths met in a sweet, loving kiss.

Watching I keep waiting
Still anticipating love

Never hesitating
To become the fated ones

Once the kiss ended, their eyes held each other’s stares as they leaned against each other, still moving to the beat of the music. Both inwardly thanked whatever higher power that existed for allowing them to find each other again. Neither had expected to be where they were at that moment.

Turning and returning
To some secret place to hide

Watching in slow motion
As you turn to me and say, my Love

As the song reached its halfway point, Angel pulled away slightly from Buffy. His left hand reached into his pocket, taking hold of the item within. He knew he should be nervous for what he was about to do, but instead there was only a serene calmness deep within his soul. Maybe it was because he had no doubts about his upcoming actions, or maybe it was just because he was insane. Whichever it was, he didn’t really care.

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Taking a deep breath, Angel kneeled down on one knee in front of Buffy. His hand slowly pulled a small black velvet box out of his coat pocket. Momentarily, he stared at the little box before lifting his head to meet his beloved’s eyes.

Buffy felt like everything before her was moving in slow motion. Her mind hadn’t yet caught up to what exactly she was seeing. As Angel pulled the object out of his pocket, her jaw dropped in shock. The importance of the moment had finally crept into her mind.

Through the hourglass I saw you
In time you slipped away

When the mirror crashed I called you
And turned to hear you say

“Buffy, I have loved you from the moment I first met you. You were my best friend, my lover, my everything. When I left five years ago, I never thought I would have the chance to love you again. But now I do, and I’m grateful that you’ve allowed me back into your life. I never want to be without you again,” he spoke lovingly to her, tears forming in his eyes.

Opening the box, Angel revealed the medium sized diamond ring set in white gold to Buffy. “Will you marry me?”

If only for today
I am unafraid

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Tears of happiness fell down Buffy’s cheeks as she listened to Angel proclaim his love for her. Part of her mind still couldn’t believe what was happening. Her eyes drifted from Angel down to the beautiful ring he held in his hand. Shaking her head she knocked herself out of her shocked daze, realizing that Angel was waiting for an answer.

“Yes, of course I’ll marry you,” she cried, throwing herself into his waiting arms.

Watching every motion
In this foolish lover's game

Haunted by the notion
Somewhere there's a love in flames

Pulling the ring out of the box, Angel slipped it onto Buffy’s slender finger. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Buffy repeated tenderly. Her cheeks wet with tears as their lips met in a passionate kiss.

Angel ran his fingers through Buffy’s long blonde hair as their tongues dueled with each other. His hands continued downwards, trailing across the bare skin of her shoulders, down her sides, and coming to a stop on the small swell of her rear. He grasped the fleshy area, pushing her body further against his.

Turning and returning
To some secret place inside

Watching in slow motion
As you turn my way and say

Buffy moaned as she felt Angel’s body pressed tightly against hers. Arousal coursed through her as their hands groped at each other. She nipped roughly at Angel’s lower lip while her hands quickly made their way between their bodies.

When Angel felt her begin to unbutton his shirt reality crept back into his mind. Even though they had been living together for two weeks, they had yet to once again reach the level of intimacy that their current actions were leading to.

“Wait, Buffy. Are you sure?” he asked, his voice hoarse with need.

“Yes, I’m sure,” she spoke softly before pulling his lips back to hers.

Take my breath away, my Love
Take my breath away

Carefully, Angel lifted Buffy into his arms and carried her over to the blanket. He gently laid her down and stared amorously into her eyes for a moment, marveling at her beauty. Soon, the couple lost themselves in each other for the first time in over five years, but as their hearts, bodies, and souls melded into one, it felt to them like they had never been apart.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

A long while later, the pair lay nestled in each other’s arms, gazing up at the stars high above them. Sated smiles adorned both of their faces while Buffy’s fingers traced random patterns over Angel’s heart. Neither spoke, content in the simple action of holding each other.

It was Buffy who finally broke the silence nearly a half hour later. “We’re going to get married,” she said, awestruck by the idea as she looked down at her ring.

“I know,” answered Angel, having the same unbelieving feeling as Buffy.

Propping herself up on one elbow, Buffy smiled at her fiancé. “Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked, wondering what he had done.

“For all of this. For the dinner, for tonight, for everything,” she explained, wiping at a tear forming in her eyes.

“I’d do anything for you, baby,” he smiled softly at her, kissing her tenderly.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy,” she stated, laying her head back down on Angel’s shoulder.

“Me either,” agreed Angel, pulling the blanket tighter around them and wrapping his arms around Buffy.

“I love you,” Buffy murmured, knowing she’d already told him multiple times that night, but never tiring of saying it.

“I love you, too, beloved. Forever,” whispered Angel, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

Buffy smiled at the sentiment. Forever...with her Angel. That was what she had wanted all those years ago and for a while it was something she’d never thought get. But fate worked in mysterious ways. Maybe they had to go through all the pain and the sorrow to get to this point, but, really, it didn’t matter. The only thing that did matter was that they had the chance to begin their forever again.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
Epilogue
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

~one year later~

“It’s been so long since I’ve been here!” Willow exclaimed as she sat down next to Oz.

“I know, but we’ve all been so busy,” agreed Buffy, her head resting on Angel’s shoulder.

The entire gang, Buffy, Angel, Willow, Oz, Xander, and Cordelia, were seated on several couches in one corner of the Bronze. It was the first time in months that they had all been able to go out together for a night of fun. They had seen each other often, but life had kept them from enjoying a night out like used to.

The past year had been extremely busy for all of them. Willow and Oz had gotten married in a small ceremony at the local courthouse three weeks after Buffy’s return from England. They bought a small house in a quiet part of town and a few months after the wedding their baby girl Layla was born. Since then the couple had been dealing with the rigors of having a baby in their lives.

Xander and Cordelia had hit a rough spot for a few months not long after Buffy returned. Anya, Xander’s ex-girlfriend from his junior year of high school, had suddenly reappeared in town and caused trouble for the couple. For a while it had looked like their relationship was permanently over, but in the end, they had worked things out and were now closer than before. In fact, they were currently planning their wedding which, in Cordelia’s words, was *only* three months away.

As for Buffy and Angel, they had married only a month and a half after Angel’s proposal. They had debated having a long engagement and planning a huge wedding, but in the end they decided that they didn’t want to wait, and that neither really wanted some big elaborate wedding with tons of people they hardly knew watching. Instead, they were married in a quiet ceremony on the beach with only their close friends and family present.

As a wedding gift, Giles and Joyce had bought them a house near theirs and after their two week honeymoon in Ireland, Buffy and Angel had spent most of their time moving and getting settled. The couple could not have been happier. After all they had been through, they were finally together and moving on with their lives.

The year had not been without it’s hard times, though. Buffy had decided to speak at Riley’s sentencing, ensuring that he would be behind bars for a long time, and it had taken a toll emotionally on her, but with Angel’s and Wesley’s help she had made it through the ordeal. Even though it had been hard, the act had given her some closure to that period of her life.

They’d been dealt another blow when Giles suffered a mild heart attack almost two months after their wedding. Thankfully, Giles had made it through okay. The doctor had assured them all that with a healthy diet and regular exercise that Giles would be fine.

Even though there had been some tough things for them to deal with, the past year had been the happiest of their lives for Buffy and Angel. Being married to each other was all that they could have dreamed it would be, and more. It was the little things they seemed to enjoy the most: waking up in each other’s arms, eating breakfast together, bickering over insignificant idiosyncrasies, etc. Maybe that made them a little boring, but it was what made them happy.

“So Willow, whose taking care of the little munchkin?” Xander asked while munching on a platter of nachos.

“Joyce is watching her,” answered Willow. She missed her daughter, but it was nice to have a night out.

“I think she is enjoying having a baby around,” added in Buffy. A smile grew on her face when she felt Angel’s hand lightly rub the small but noticeable bump on her abdomen.

Buffy was now in the fourth month of her pregnancy. It hadn’t been planned, and when she had first realized she was pregnant she’d been terrified. Memories of her miscarriage had instantly popped into her mind. And then there was the part of her that wasn’t sure if, after all she’d been through, she was ready to be a mother. Then as she had stood there in the bathroom looking at her abdomen, she realized she had her and Angel’s child now growing inside her. All the fear and worry had melted away at that moment.

“That’s good. You’ll be able to hit her up for babysitting once you pop the kid you’re carrying,” smirked Cordelia, shuddering at the idea of having a child.

“She’s already offered her services,” chuckled Angel, his fingers lightly stroking over his unborn child.

It seemed as if Angel hadn’t stopped smiling since Buffy had told him she was pregnant. Not only was he married to his soul mate, but they were now going to have a baby. He knew she’d been worried in the beginning, but they had talked about it and worked through it. It was only natural to be scared of such a drastic life change like having a baby, especially considering her past.

“Yeah, she’s even getting a room ready for the baby when it’s there.” Buffy shook her head at her Mother’s antics.

“Speaking of ‘It’. Have you guys found out what it’s going to be yet?” questioned Willow, thinking back on how her and Oz had found out they were having a girl.

“Actually, we decided that we want it to be a surprise,” answered Buffy with a look toward Angel.

“You don’t want to know?!” Cordelia nearly shrieked. “How are you going to get the baby’s room ready without knowing what it is?”

“We’re just going to go with neutral colors,” shrugged Buffy, fully aware that not knowing the baby’s sex did make planning a little tougher. Her and Angel had talked about it though and decided they didn’t want to know.

“Your choice, but it’s going to make shopping a real pain in the ass,” sighed Cordelia in exasperation.

“Hey Buff, what’s up with the Scooby Doo Band-Aid?” Xander asked, pointing to the brightly colored strip on Buffy’s right hand.

“Oh, I got a nasty paper-cut at work today.” She held up the finger in question.

“How is work going?” spoke Willow, referring to Buffy’s job at the women’s shelter.

“It’s good. I like it. I mean, it’s hard sometimes...seeing women like that and having been through it myself. But it’s rewarding to help out in any way I can,” Buffy explained about her job.

“Are you going to keep taking classes after the baby is born?” wondered Oz from his spot next to Willow.

“Don’t know yet. I might take a semester off just to get adjusted, but I do want to keep taking classes part time,” she clarified even though the idea of working, going to class, and taking care of a baby was a bit daunting.

“I’m going to get another drink. Anyone want anything?” Willow asked, standing up from the couch.

“Yeah, wait, I’ll come with you,” offered Buffy, untangling herself from Angel. “Be right back, sweetie.”

Buffy and Willow walked off in the direction of the bar. Willow ordered herself a strawberry daiquiri while Buffy opted for a Sprite since anything with alcohol or caffeine was not allowed due to her pregnancy. After receiving their drinks, the two females turned to go back to their friends and significant others when a sudden loud voice interrupted them.

“Well, well...if it isn’t Buffy Summers,” an obnoxious, half-drunk man spoke.

Buffy turned around to face the person speaking. “Parker.”

“Aww, I’m touched, Summers. You remember me.” The dark haired man placed a hand on his heart.

“Unfortunately,” mumbled Buffy, her eyes searching around for Angel.

Parker’s eyes drifted down Buffy’s figure, stopping when he noticed the bulge at her abdomen. The mocking leer made Buffy suddenly wish she hadn’t worn such a snug fitting shirt that evening.

“Now isn’t this a surprise. Knocked up Summers?” laughed Parker, shaking his head back and forth.

“What do you want, Parker?” Buffy spoke angrily. With her attention focused on the man in front of her, she didn’t notice Willow creeping away.

“What makes you think I want anything from *you*,” he questioned sarcastically.

“Then why the Hell are you standing here talking to me?” she spat out forcefully, growing more angry from the conversation.

“Jeez, chill out.” His eyes again drifted down to her pregnant stomach causing him to laugh heartlessly. “I always knew you were just another slut.”

Buffy’s jaw dropped at the harsh words, but before she could reply a booming voice came from behind her.

“I suggest you shut the fuck up, NOW, and apologize,” a furious Angel growled out with Willow, Oz, Xander and Cordy standing at his sides.

“Mind your own business, asshole,” glared Parker, not the least bit threatened by the larger man.

Angel walked right up to Parker, not caring about the audience that had gathered around them, and stared him in the eyes. “It *is* my business when you call my *wife* a slut.”

“Wife, huh?” Parker smirked, looking from Angel to Buffy. “What did you do? Fall for that ‘I’m pregnant’ line and marry her? You should know better than to fall for that. She’s just a whore. Trust me, I should know.”

Angel’s eyes darkened with rage. Before anyone could react, his fist shot out, slamming into the side of Parker’s face. The stunned crowd watched as Parker flew backwards into the bar and then down onto the ground.

Stalking up to where the boy had fallen, Angel stared down at him with serious eyes. “If you ever speak to my wife that way again, or speak to her period, you *will* regret it.”

Angel turned to face Buffy, ignoring the onlookers. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

The couple walked quickly out of the club, not bothering to look back at the scene they’d left. Willow, Oz, Cordelia and Xander followed them out, trying to hold back their laughter at Parker’s body sprawled out on the ground from one punch.

“What a sissy,” whispered Xander to his companions.

“Shh! Shut up, Xander!” snapped Cordelia, not wanting to aggravate Angel further.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

A short while later, Buffy and Angel lay on their bed with Buffy holding an ice pack on Angel’s hand. Lifting the ice pack up, Buffy studied the reddened skin beneath. She gently ran her fingers over the tender skin, shaking her head slightly.

“It’s going to hurt for a few days,” she told him, putting the ice pack back on his hand.

“I know,” Angel shrugged, shifting against the pillows on the bed. “Are you mad at me?”

“What? Why would I be mad at you?” she asked him in confusion.

“Because I hit him. I know how much you hate violence,” Angel stated, looking down guiltily.

“Angel,” sighed Buffy. “I’m not mad at you. Not even a little bit. He deserved what he got.”

“He shouldn’t have said those things about you,” Angel spoke in a near growl, still angry about what had happened.

“No, he shouldn’t have,” agreed Buffy. Taking the ice pack off Angel’s hand, Buffy placed it on the night stand and lay down next to Angel. “But let’s just forget about it. I don’t want to talk about Parker.”

“Whatever you want, beloved,” smiled Angel, kissing her lightly.

Buffy watched with curious eyes as Angel crawled down the bed. She grinned as he lifted her shirt and laid his head on her now bare stomach. A slight giggled escaped her lips as his breath tickled her skin.

“What are you doing,” she asked, running a hand through his soft hair.

“Talking to the baby,” answered Angel, placing small kisses over their unborn child.

“I see. Is it talking back to you?” she teased even though she found Angel’s actions unbelievably cute and sweet.

“Uh huh,” Angel shook his head yes, and then moved back up the bed to face Buffy. “It told me its mother is the most beautiful women in the entire world.”

Buffy’s heart melted at Angel’s words. Instead of answering him, she pulled him close and kissed him tenderly, expressing through action what words could not. Slowly, her mouth trailed down, nipping lightly at his jaw-line before moving back to his mouth.

“I love you,” she murmured against his lips.

“I love you, too,” Angel whispered back to her before engaging her in a passionate kiss.

As the moon rose higher in the sky, the couple made sweet love to eat other, exploring their bodies as if it were for the first time. Later that night, they laid tangled together, contented smiles on their faces. One of Angel’s hands gently stroked Buffy abdomen as he drifted off to sleep.

For a few minutes, Buffy simply watched as Angel slept. It was almost impossible for her to believe that she was married to her Angel and that they would soon have a child together. There were times when she wondered if it was all a dream, but then she only had to look at Angel or at the baby growing inside her and she’d realize that it was all true...that she finally had everything she ever wanted.

Snuggling closer to Angel, Buffy wondered if she would ever get used to falling asleep in his arms. No, she didn’t think she would. It would always seem like something new and special. And she had forever to find out if she was right.

With a smile on her face, Buffy too fell into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of the happy future that lay ahead.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

THE END!

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