By My Side

by Jill

Part 13

"Will it be dangerous tonight?," Willow wanted to know when she, Buffy and Angel were sitting in his apartment waiting for the others to arrive.

Angel was just coming back from the kitchen carrying a tray loaded with some sandwiches and steaming hot chocolate. He put it down on his small glass-table and after a short glance to Buffy he answered: "I don't think so. We're only going to check that club. I'm not expecting any real trouble."

"But there could be?", Buffy asked anxiously.

He shrugged, trying to sound as casual as possible: "In my line of work there's always trouble. But tonight's nothing special." He avoided looking at Buffy, too afraid his eyes would tell her the truth. He wasn't really lying to her either, he really didn't know what they'd to expect. But anything connected to Frankie Callan was dangerous, he was one of the big drug dealers in LA, he controlled the whole Beverly Hills-district, the most expensive drug-area. He was rich and powerful and when Dermot and Lex had been dealing with him it meant to be extra careful. But he couldn't tell Buffy, he didn't want her to worry the whole evening and possibly the night. She would be worried enough the way it was.

"This is a nice apartment," Willow said, looking around.

"Thanks," he smiled at her, grateful that she'd changed the subject.

The doorbell rang and Angel went to answer it, telling them to help themselves with the chocolate while he was going over. Opening the door he looked into the faces of a blonde guy and a dark haired girl. Both were smiling.

"Spike, Dru," he greeted them with a smile. "I'm so glad you could make it. Come in," he invited them and then pointed to the table. "I just made some hot chocolate, you want some?"

"No thanks," Dru replied and looked at her boyfriend. "But I'm sure my Spikey dies to get a cup. He's always the sweet guy."

Angel chuckled and looked at the blonde guy: "Get yourself a cup, you know where they are. I'm sure there's some left in the pot on the stove." Then he turned to the girls sitting on the sofa and the chair. "Buffy, Willow. These are Spike and Dru. I know them all my life and they're ... well, never take them too serious, especially Spike."

"Hey, don't insult me," the blonde guy grinned broadly.

"I could never insult you," Angel replied dryly. "Spike, Dru, these are Buffy and Willow. I'm working for Buffy at the moment. It's about her case we have to do our little trip tonight."

Dru nodded and went over to the girls, taking the seat opposite to Willow: "Hi," she greeted them and took a sandwich from the tray. The way these both acted it was clearly visible they were very close to Angel. Buffy couldn't help but feel a little bit jealousy rise in her. They knew everything about him, they knew him all his life. What would her life have been if she'd met Angel when she was sixteen, not Dermot. She sighed inwardly, the thought was utterly useless. You should never live in the past. She didn't even want to begin to think about her life if she'd never met Angel at all.

"So you're the one with the druggy ex?," Dru asked Buffy. It sounded harsh, but a warm smile told her, she was only trying to make it easy on her.

"Yeah," the blonde replied, holding the hot mug between her hands.

"From what Angel told me, he was an ass," the dark haired woman leaned back, taking another bite from her bread.

Buffy nodded and sipped at her chocolate. Angel sat down beside her and gave her a look: "Not hungry?"

"No," she shook her head. "Maybe later."

He laid a hand on her leg and gazed into her eyes: "Is something wrong?," he wanted to know.

Spike who came back from the kitchen holding his mug exchanged a glance with Dru. They both knew at once what was happening between those two.

Buffy sighed: "I think I'm just tired. I'm going to bed early and after a good night's rest I'll be like new tomorrow."

Angel gave her a smile and then he served himself with chocolate and sandwich, when the doorbell rang again. He was about to get up, when Spike said: "No, no, stay there, I'll get it."

Cordelia and Doyle entered the apartment which was crowded by now and the brunette grinned: "Spike, I would say it's nice to see you, but that'd be a lie." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Then she looked at Buffy and Willow: "That guy is a pain in my ass. Nobody ever insulted me that often," she informed them, nodding in Spike's direction."

"Yeah, well, what can I say. He's hidden qualities," Dru grinned. "But sometimes I'm asking myself why I keep him. He can be quite embarrassing."

Her boyfriend only grinned back and then looked at Doyle: "How can you live with her? I mean she's attractive and all, but ..."

"Don't even say it," Cordelia warned the blonde guy. "We've some innocent girls around here."

Willow and Buffy exchanged a look and burst out in laughter. The blonde looked at Spike: "Don't hold back for our sake."

"Hey," the brunette yelled. "You should be supporting me, not encouraging him."

"Alright," Angel drank the last bit of his chocolate and stood up. "I think we better get going." He went over to a drawer and pulled out a knife which he hid under his trousers and a gun, that disappeared under his shirt on his back. "Fine. I'm ready."

Dru stood up as well: "It was nice meeting you," she said, looking at the two girls. "I hope we'll meet again," she added and her eyes rested on Buffy for a moment. Then she turned and joined Spike who was already waiting at the door.

Doyle leaned over to his wife and gave her a quick kiss: "We might be late. Just stay over for the night."

Cordelia nodded in response: "And you be careful, okay?" He gave her a smile and followed Spike and Dru.

Hearing the fear in the brunette's voice Buffy felt her own panic rising again. Angel had sounded so careless, but would he tell her if it was dangerous. He clearly was the protective type, always trying to keep the heavy stuff away from her. She saw him turning and when he was almost out of the door she jumped up and followed him: "Angel wait," she said and he turned immediately watching her with curious eyes.

"Be careful," she whispered.

He smiled: "I'm always careful. Don't worry."

"Promise you won't get hurt or anything," she pleaded.

"I'll do my best." He looked in her eyes for a long moment and by seeing the fear in them something in his head clicked. He was suddenly painfully aware of the fact that there could always happen something to him. So far it had been only her safety he'd thought about. Sure, he didn't really think he would be hurt tonight, but you never knew. And suddenly it was very important to tell her something, something he hadn't planned to tell her so soon, something he didn't know how she would take it. But he had to tell her now. He leaned forward and breathed a kiss on her lips. Then he took her hand: "I'll be back soon. I promise." He smiled.

"Come on, Angel. We're waiting," he heard Spike's voice from the stairs.

He planted a kiss on the back of her hand. Then he locked eyes with Buffy for a moment. His face becoming serious again he said: "Don't worry. I love you." Then he let go of her hand, turned and was gone before she could say another word.

*******

The club was crowded at that time of the day and the foursome had even difficulties to find Brad between all the people when they were peering through one of the side windows.

"Can you tell me how we're going to find that Lex-guy," Doyle said with a loud sigh. "I mean we don't even know how he looks like."

"Guys," Dru said with a voice that clearly told them how superior she felt. "I'm going to get you that guy. Just wait a moment." And with this she disappeared round the corner and then they saw her enter the club. She wore a skirt with buttons and had opened them now, so one would see more of her long, well-formed legs.

"She's not doing the hooker-number again, is she," Angel groaned.

"She's Dru," Spike replied with a shrug. "She does what she wants. Have you ever tried to say no to her?"

Angel and Doyle chuckled, while the blonde rolled his eyes. Dru was a nice girlfriend and he loved her, she was a master in Karate and Take-Won-Do, but she was also the most stubborn, thick-headed girl he'd ever met. And saying 'no' to her was as if talking to her in Chinese.

The three men saw her swaying her hips and moving from table to table seductively smiling at the men, sometimes talking with one and always getting angry looks from the girls. Then she stopped at Brad's table and they saw them talking for some minutes. He nodded and pointed at another table. She smiled, bowed down and kissed him. Spike growled and the other two laughed again. That was just like Dru.

Only a minute later she joined the men again: "Now," she grinned. "That was fun. I've got your guy. It's the blonde scar-face over there. The one in the red shirt. And for you Spike, you can stop being jealous. You're too old to act like a teenager."

As an answer he only shook his head and sighed loudly. What could he do, he loved her, he had to take her the way she was.

"And I've got something else," she continued while she was re-buttoning her skirt. "The tall black-haired guy at the counter is one of his boys. However it seems that Lex and Dermot weren't on the best terms when your girl's ex was killed. Obviously Lex has made a deal with Frankie Callan to sell him drugs and Dermot didn't approve. Frankie was pressing Lex for the stuff and Dermot wouldn't tell him where it was. So I'd say Lex had a good reason to get rid of his 'friend'."

"And you got all the information with one sway through the club," Doyle looked at her with new admiration.

She smiled sweetly: "My dear. There's nothing more communicative then a pair of long legs, believe me. Looking downstairs the guys forget everything, even who their loyality belongs to."

"So what are we going to do now," Spike asked and looked at Angel, whoes eyes seemed far away.

"I was just thinking," the tall, dark haired man replied after a while. "How are we going to proove this. I mean, okay Lex has called me that he thinks Buffy has the stuff, but there's only my word for it and it still doesn't connect him with Dermot's or Anna's murder."

"I see only one way, as much as I hate it," Doyle said, avoiding his friend's eyes.

"No," Angel replied, his voice raising a little bit. "There's no way. We're not using her as a target to get the information."

"But he'll come for her anyway," Spike said looking at Dru. "We're just waiting for him. If he's really sure she's got the drugs he'll try to get them."

"He's right, Angel. The date for the deal is the day after tomorrow. He'll have to act soon. All we do is play the game our way. We will not just wait for him, we'll set up a trap, make him talk."

"You mean, *she* has to make him talk," Angel shook his head. "I am not going to endager her like this. No."

Dru laid a hand on his arm: "She'll be danger this way or the other. But this way we're going to be the ones who have the ace of hearts."

"We don't even know if he killed Dermot. Or Anna for that matter," Angel argued, desperately trying to find a way around this, although deep inside he already knew it was the only way. "We'll have to wait for the results of the finger-print analysis."

"Alright," Dru nodded. "We're waiting. But I'd bet my inheritance that they belong to one of his men. Who else shoud've gone into that apartment, searching it and killing the girl."

"I would like to know why she was on the picture with Dermot. What was their connection?" Angel leaned back at the wall.

"Didn't you plan to call Anna's mother today?," Spike wanted to know. "You told me something like that on the phone."

"I did," his friend answered. "But she wasn't at home. There was only her boyfriend and he told me that the memorial service will be tomorrow."

"I have a very bad idea," Dru said suddenly looking at Angel. "What if Anna knew Dermot. Alright, we know they knew each other, but what if she knew him well. What if," she paused for a moment. "well, what if she was a former girlfriend or a relative or something. Didn't Buffy tell you she saved her from Dermot with a gun in her hand. Why did she have a gun in her hand? Think guys. I mean, was she the type of girl running around with a gun. What if Dermot wasn't actually searching for Buffy, but for Anna, because she had something he wanted?" She began to pace in front of her friends, her mind racing: "I mean. You always thought he came for Buffy, but what if he met Buffy by accident, because they lived in the same apartment."

"That sounds very interesting," Angel looked at Dru. "It sounds very smart."

"I am a smart girl," she gave him a smile. "But let me continue. So Anna took something from Dermot. Meanwhile his partner makes a deal with Frankie. Let's guess again, that Dermot did approve of the deal first, but then his stuff was gone and now he was under pressure. He had to find Anna and found Buffy. Still having issues with her he took the opportunity to get his revenge for whatever his sick mind thought. So he kidnapps the girl and binds her to the bed. Let's assume that Anna is a clever girl and she hides the drugs where he cannot find them and maybe she can protect herself. Like I can. What he hopes now is that Buffy might know about the drugs and he plans to use the fact that she's still afraid of him." She paused again and looked from one man to the other, all were listening carefully. "Alright. Meanwhile Lex gets nervous because Frankie is pressing him for the stuff. They fight and Lex shoots his partner, then he takes the shocked girl, who might have seen the whole thing but doesn't remember and places the gun in her hand and then he calls the cops. That leaves him enough time to disappear. And then he finds out that both girls had a connection with Dermot. So first he goes with his men and kills Anna and now he's going for Buffy. Problem is, she doesn't know what's going on. Or we think she doesn't."

"She doesn't," Angel said, his voice sounding firm. "I'm sure she doesn't know anything about the whole deal."

"I believe you," Dru nodded. "But maybe she's seen something. Something she doesn't even know. Angel you have to talk to her again. Ask her about everything." When she saw the expression on his face she laid her hand on one of his arms. "I know it'll be hard for her. But there is no other way."

He sighed: "I know. And as much as I hate it, I think your theory sounds very good."

"Yeah, it does," Doyle agreed.

"My very smart girlfriend," Spike grinned and pulled her to him.

"Alright," Angel said finally. "We wait for Doug's results regarding the finger-prints and if they are supporting this theory I'm going to talk to Buffy. But I'm leaving it to her if she wants to help with this. I'm not going to put pressure on her. Is that undrstood?" He looked at his friends.

"Understood."

"Completely."

"Totally."

"Fine, then let's go home. We know how Lex looks now. Better we're starting to plan."

Part 14

'I love you'. These words were repeated in Buffy's mind again and again while she was still standing in the open door of Angel's apartment, long after his form had disappeared in the elevator. Did he really mean it? Could it be? Could he love her, really love her? After only a few days? Was it possible? Then she remembered his eyes looking into her's when he'd said these words. Of course he could, of course it was possible a voice in her head told her. She didn't know him any longer and loved him. Loved him with every fiber of her body and every part of her soul. Oh god, he loved her!

A warm feeling rose in her body, a feeling she'd never known before. Sure her mom loved her and Giles, well most of the time, but this. This was different. It was the feeling of being loved by a man.

She flinched a little bit when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Buffy, are you okay?" Willow's concerned voice asked beside her.

She turned her head slightly and looked at her friend. Her eyes had a far away look: "What?"

"Are you okay?," the red-head asked again.

Buffy shook her head and focussed on her friend: "Sure, sorry Will. I was just deep in thoughts."

"Yeah, obviously," Cordelia said from her chair. "We called your name about ten times and you wouldn't react."

"Sorry, Cordy." She looked at both her friends, weird, she counted Cordelia to her friends. Where did that come from? Then without another thought she blurted out: "He says he loves me."

Willow looked at her in surprise while a huge grin spread across the brunette's features: "Sure he does. I told you so! No big."

"He actually said that?," the red-head asked in awe.

Buffy could only nod. As if she was in trance she walked over to the couch and sat down. "Yes, he said 'I love you' and then disappeared."

"And you?," Willow wanted to know.

"What about me?," the blonde asked in confusion.

"Do you, I mean, do you love him?"

Buffy looked to the ground for a short moment, when she looked up she could not help but smile by seeing the knowing grin on Cordelia's face. "Yeah," she replied. I love him too." Suddenly it was no problem to say it, she didn't have to struggle with the words. The knowledge that he loved her, and she was sure he did now, made everything so easy.

"But you never said it, right?", Willow looked at her friend with huge eyes. "And are you sure? I mean, you don't know him very long."

"No, I mean, yes. I am sure. I cannot believe it, but I am sure. And yes, we don't know each other for a long time but deep inside I've the feeling I know him all my life. As if ... well, I know that sounds strange, but as if we're made for each other, then thrown out into the world and damned to look for each other to find peace. I've never felt like this before and I doubt I could feel this with another person. When he's around it's as nothing else matters and as if nothing could happen to me. It's incredible." And it was exactly how she felt, incredible. There was no other word. This wonderful man loved her and made her feel special. It was a feeling as if doors opened in her soul, doors that had been closed many years ago, but also doors that were never opened before. Doors to deep, hidden feelings, feelings she didn't know existed until the day she'd met him.

"Wow," the red-head breathed. "Buffy that ... that sounds ..."

"Yeah, it sounds nice and all," Cordelia's voice wasbored, but she had a warm smile in her eyes, "but as nice as love is, I'm hungry. Dru's eaten the last sandwich."

"How can you think about food in such a romantic moment," Willow asked in disbelief.

"What?," the brunette shrugged. "Sorry for being hungry sometimes. Besides, if you're going to declare your love to him it's much more romantic without your stomach rumbling."

*******

It was quiet in the car on the way back to his apartment, there wasn't really anymore to say. Doyle was staring out of the window while Dru and Spike were making out in the back. Angel tried to concentrate on the traffic but his thoughts were constantly drifting to Buffy. He tried to supress the panic that was rising in him again and again when he thought what she had to face. His mind was turning the facts round and round but the outcome was always the same. Dru was right. It was much better to set the trap than to just wait for them to come and get her. And they would come. The phone call had prooved it.

Angel felt his hands begin to tremble and tightened his grip. She would be in the line of fire, she would be the bait and that meant danger. A man like Lex, who had killed before, wouldn't hesitate for a moment to take another life.

Her life.

The last thing he had searched for was love, but with Buffy he never had a chance. He was in love before he could even begin to built his defences. He laughed inwardly. Love at first sight. It sounded so stupid, as if taken from a cheap romance novel. Only a few days ago he would have laughed out loud by the mere thought, but now it had happened, happened to him.

Was it right he'd told her about his feelings? But the urge had been so strong, so overwhelming. The sudden knowledge that these were the most important words in his life. But did this give him the right to burden her? After all she'd gone through he was sure she didn't want love in her life. Sure, he knew her body responded to him, but that didn't mean anything. It was a physical reaction that had nothing to do with love - not necessarily.

What would happen when he came back to the apartment? Would she try to stay away from him? Would she be scared and uncomfortable in his presence. It was the last thing they needed, not now when the danger was so close. For this she had to trust him completely. The question was, could she still do it? Or would she be angry because he'd overstepped his boundaries.

"You are sometimes looking on the road, right?," Doyle asked beside him, interrupting his train of thoughts.

"Sure, why?"

"You seemed far away," his friend remarked with a smile on his face. "I suppose at your apartment with a certain blonde girl."

"God, Doyle," Angel groaned.

"Hey, she's a nice girl. It'll be good for you, you'll see. By the way, what did you tell her, you know, when we were waiting for you just before we left?"

Angel didn't answer for a while. He gave Doyle a short glance and then he sighed: "Maybe something very stupid."

*******

The three girls looked up when the door of the apartment opened and Doyle and Angel entered. Cordelia jumped up and embraced her husband immediately. "You're early. What happened," she wanted to know.

"I'll tell you later, Delia," Doyle replied with a look at Angel. "I think we're heading home. Willow, can we give you a ride or are you staying over here?"

The red-head looked at Buffy, a little smile spreading over her face: "I think I'm going home, if you don't mind."

"No, it's fine with me," the blonde said and smiled back. "Thanks for staying."

Before the three left, Angel said to Doyle: "We'll meet at eight sharp and get me that number until then."

"Sure," he grinned. "Goodnight you both."

With this he closed the door behind him.

Buffy looked at Angel with a frown: "What number?"

"Lex's cell phone number," he explained.

Her eyes went wide: "So you found him?"

"Yeah, we did," he answered.

They stared at each other. After a while Buffy cleared her throat: "Where are Spike and Dru?"

"They left directly in their car. It's almost midnight and they'll be in the office at eight tomorrow morning." He turned and looked out of the window.

Buffy was confused. She didn't know what she'd expected, but this wasn't it. Ever since he'd come back he'd been distant. As if he wanted to be anywhere but here with her. She had to know what had happened. "Angel," she said softly. When he didn't respond, she said again: "Angel, please talk to me. Are you angry?"

He whirled round: "Angry?," his face was full of disbelief. "Why would I be angry?" He felt stupid, he'd hurt her with his distant behaviour. And he didn't want to hurt her.

"I don't know. But you're so different. What happened?" She felt fear rising in her, would he regret his words, these beautiful words, that meant the world to her.

"There's a lot we've to talk about, but first of all. I'm sorry. I should've never told you about my feelings. It was totally unprofessional and it won't happen again. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me. It's the last thing we're needing now. For the coming days you have to trust me, completely."

Now it was her turn to look disbelieving: "But why would I be uncomfortable around you? And I trust you, I told you before."

He stared at her. Could it be? "Doesn't it bother you, that I'm in love with you? I'm sure it's the last thing you want now. After all you've been..."

"You're right," she interrupted him, her voice sounding soft. "I was certainly not looking for love." She laughed shortly. "Most certainly not. But obviously it sometimes happens and you can do nothing against it. I never thought it would be possible, but now it seems I have to believe it."

He stepped closer, his eyes never leaving her's: "Buffy, I don't want you to say something because of my stupid declaration." He felt his heart beating faster and faster. Could it really be what he hoped and feared at the same time.

"Hush," she whispered. "It wasn't stupid. These were the most beautiful words I've ever heard and ever since you've said them I'm feeling as if I'm on cloud no. nine." She smiled and reached out her hand. He took it and sat down beside her. "You don't know how frightened I was, what was going on in my mind, having all these powerful feelings ever since you've stepped into my life only four short days ago." Her smile grew even wider when she saw the look in his eyes. Her heart was racing and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. "I don't feel uncomfortable around you because I love you too," she finally whispered looking deeply into his eyes.

For a short while it seemed as if he hadn't understood her, but then he reached out and crushed her to him, hugging her so tightly that she thought she wouldn't be able to breathe. "Oh god, Buffy," he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. He pulled back slightly and cupped her face in his hands. Then he began to kiss her eyes, her cheeks, her nose and finally her mouth. When they finally needed to come up for air he pulled back again and looked deeply into her eyes: "I love you," he repeated his words from hours ago and Buffy had the feeling her heart would burst and her soul was singing in joy. "But this is the worst moment to find out about it," he added with a sheepish smile.

She chuckled slightly: "That's certainly an extraordinary declaration of love."

He chuckled too: "Yeah." Then he sighed and his face was serious: "Buffy, I cannot even begin to tell how happy I am that you return my feelings, but there are things we've to talk about and the're too urgent to push them away for a while."

She nodded: "Alright. Tell me."

He kissed her again on her mouth, this time gently, lovingly, then he let go of her face, took one of her hands instead, leaned back on the couch and began to tell her Dru's theory what might have happened. Emphasising the fact that he strongly believed it to be true. The whole time he was holding her hand, stroking the palm with his thumb, sometimes leading it to his mouth to kiss it gently. When he was finished he waited a moment, then he dared to look at her.

"So you think he'll come for me to get his drugs that I don't have," she asked, her voice sounding surprisingly calm.

He nodded: "Yes. The phone call was proove enough. If Dru's theory is true and I think it is, he's killed before. Nothing's going to stop him."

"Alright," she said again. "Tell me, what I have to do." She looked at him, her eyes resting on his face, her hand firmly laying in his'.

"Are you sure," his eyes searched her's trying to see the truth.

"Of course I'm sure. There's no other choice, right?" She sounded calm. Seeing hiseyes she knew he was scared to death and usually she would have been frightened too, but with him near by, with the knowledge of their new found feelings for each other she felt a strength she never believed she'd find in herself.

"No, no other choice," he said and closed his eyes. The panic was there again. The panic to loose her, the panic something could happen to her and the certain knowledge that if something should happen to her, he wouldn't know how to go on.

"You're scared, aren't you," she asked softly, her hand lightly stroking his cheek.

He swallowed hard and forced himself to open his eyes again. "If something should happen to you..."

"Nothing will happen to me," she assured him. "I trust you."

A pained cry escaped his mouth and he jumped up from the sofa. Buffy stared at him. He abruptly turned his back to her: "Don't trust me," he shouted. "I've failed before. Someone died because of me."

His whole body was trembling and Buffy felt tears streaming down her cheeks. She stood up and leaned her head at his back. Then slowly she encircled his waist from behind and held him close. His hands covered her's and she could feel them shivering. "Shhh," she whispered. "It wasn't your fault, Angel. Don't do this. I'm not Sarah. Everything will be alright."

He turned round and faced her again, cupping one of her cheeks in one hand. The love radiating from his eyes almost took her breath away. She felt a warm and comforting feeling run over her body. "I love you so much. I couldn't bear if anything should happen to you," he confessed.

"I know, I feel the same," she whispered and held him closer. "Just hold me, Angel. Just hold me."

Part 15

When Buffy woke up the next morning she needed some seconds to realise that she'd slept on the sofa in Angel's arms. Looking at his face she smiled. His eyes were still closed and he seemed relaxed.

She loved him. Oh, she loved him so much and it was good to admit it. And he loved her back. This was too good to be true. But there were also shaddows hanging over their happiness. First of all this accusation for murder and Dermot's friends who were threatening her. But also the past. Mostly mine, Buffy thought sadly. She hadn't exactly told Angel in words, but she was sure he'd understood. After Dermot had beaten and finally raped her she'd felt numb and empty. And she'd felt dirty, extremely dirtly. It was even worse because she'd had sex with him before, willingly. She hadn't even realized what he was about to do before it was too late, when he was finally laying on her, she'd had not chance to defend herself.

That was another problem. The feeling of being helpless. She'd boyfriends afterwards but it never became serious, for once because she never loved one of them, but also because she couldn't stand the idea to sleep with a man. The experiences with Dermot were so imprinted in her head. Surprisingly she wasn't afraid of Angel. Or maybe not yet. What would happen if he wanted more? Would she back away again and would he leave her as the others had?

Had she not fallen in love with other men, because she couldn't anymore and was the fact she was in love with Angel a sign she was healing? Would that also mean, she could trust him further on? She sighed and that moment she felt Angel stirr and open his eyes.

Blinking to adjust his eyes to the light he smiled: "Morning."

"We've fallen asleep on the sofa," she said.

"Hmmm, it was nice," he replied. "Holding you in my arms, I mean."

She smiled back: "It was nice to be held." She reached up and stroked his cheek.

He bent down and brushed her lips lightly with his. "I'm making us breakfast and some coffee." He looked to his watch: "And then we have to go, it's seven and I've told the others we meet at eight at the office."

Buffy felt fear rising in her: "So what's going to happen today?"

"We'll discuss it later, okay? First coffee and breakfast."

She nodded: "Alright, I'm just going to have a quick shower and change." Smiling at him she stood up and disppeared in her bedroom.

*********

"Did you sleep well?," Joyce asked casually when she and Giles were sitting at their breakfast with Steven between them.

"What's that supposed to mean?," he said quirking an eyebrow. What was she up to now?

"Mommy, can I get some more milk please," the little boy asked.

Pouring him some more milk into his cup, Joyce smiled: "Uhm, I just thought you had a lot to think about."

He frowned: "You mean that stupid film? Certainly not."

"Of course," she replied and tried to hide a smile. Men were just so predictable. Or did he really think she hadn't felt him turning the whole night.

His frown deepened: "I did not think about that film. Why should I? I'm not at all like that stupid man. How he was hovering over his daughter. It was sickening."

"You think so," she raised an eyebrow. "I think you're pretty much behaving like him. All protective and fatherly."

"Joyce. This is different. The boy in the film was a nice young man, not some detective who does things I don't even want to think about to earn his money." He poured himself some more coffee. She was not thinking straight, mothers always looked for son-in-law prospects. He slightly shook his head and sighed.

"Let's say like helping our daughter?" She wouldn't give up the subject.

"I'm not against him helping Buffy. I just don't want to get her involved with him. We know nothing about him and the fact he's PI doesn't sound trustworthy for me." Why wouldn't she understand?

"But you thought he was trustworthy enough to deal with her murder case. Rupert, you're behaving ridiculous. I've met him. He's a very nice young man and obviously in love with our daughter."

His head shot up: "In love?," his voice sounded alarmed. "How the hell should he be in love with her. They know each other for only some days."

She sighed loudly: "In some cases it only needs one moment to know who's right for you. I think they're very cute together."

"Cute," he echoed. "Did you forget the last time when she got close with a guy, she disappeared for six years."

"Oh god, Rupert," Joyce groaned. "She was a lovestruck teenager then. Buffy's grown up so much. I can see it in her eyes. She's in love with Angel and he's in love with her, I'm happy for those two."

"Now she's in love too," he shook his head again. This isn't happening, I'm still dreaming, this is a nightmare. "Joyce I think your imagination runs wild. They know each other for four or five days. They cannot be in love."

"Cannot," she quirked an eyebrow. "Pray tell me, how are you so clever to now that?"

"Angel's not right for her," he insisted not replying to her last question.

"Angel's nice," Steven said suddenly grabbing another doughnut.

Giles gave his son an irritated look: "How do you know that?"

"I like him, and Cordy too and Buffy." He smiled happily at his father who rolled his eyes.

"What's this? Now you even use my son to convince me to give my permission for this relationship."

Joyce nearly choked in her tea: "I think you're living in the wrong century, Rupert. There's nothing that needs your permission. Buffy's a legal adult and for that she can do what she wants. No I'm not trying to convince you to give your 'permission'. I just think our daughter would like our approval. But whatever you do, I will support her. And that means regarding this stupid accusation for murder as well as in her relationship with Angel. I truly hope it'll work, because I have a very good feeling about those two." She stood up and glared at him: "And now please excuse me, Steven needs to go to school." She held out her hand for her son and they left for the bathroom. In the doorway she turned around: "And while we're at it. As long as you don't give up this stupid attitude and your hostility against Angel I think you'll find the guest-room very comfortable." With that she was gone.

Rupert Giles sat over his coffee for a long while after that, desperately thinking what suddenly went wrong in his life.

******

The tension was almost palpable in Angel's office. They were all assembled there and without letting go of Buffy's hand he explained the plan: "What we're going to do is this." He looked at the blonde girl: "Buffy will call Lex and offer him the drugs. It all depends that you can convince him you really have them. Do you think you can do it?"

"I can try," she offered weakly. She felt sick, the fear was creeping through her body and she desperately held onto Angel's hand to steady herself.

"No," came Dru's sharp reply. "There's no room for 'try'. Buffy you have to sound firm and steady. He has to believe you. This is our best shot. After that you'll tell him where to meet him. He'll not like it and say another place and time but you've to insist on your ideas. And then we'll get him."

"Alright," Buffy replied and tried not to shiver. She wasn't really sure what she was afraid off, the fact that Lex would probably try to kill her or that he was a reminder of all the things connected to Dermot.

"The next step will be the meeting," Angel continued. "You have to make him talk. We think he was the one to kill Dermot and maybe you can get him to a point where he's confessing it." He swallowed hard and locked eyes with her: "It'll be the moment he's sure he's going to kill you."

She closed her eyes for a moment: "Okay, I'll do it. I know this is the only way."

"It is," Spike looked at her and smiled. "I know it sounds scary, but you've been through a lot already. This is only the last chapter to close the book."

"You're strong Buffy, I'm sure you can do it," Cordelia laid a hand on the other girl's shoulder.

"You'll have a microphone on you," Angel said. "We'll record everything. And Spike phoned his old friend from the LAPD, Daniel Lansky, he'll come with us. We'll be with you all the time. You'll never be alone." He tried to give his voice a casual note. But all he wanted was scream and run. Hide her somewhere so nothing and nobody would harm her. The mere thought she'd be hurt was making him sick in the stomach.

"I know," she smiled and was relieved her voice sounded normal again. She reached out and stroked his cheek. "I know you'll be there."

Doyle cleared his throat: "Alright kids." He reached in his pocket and produced a small piece of paper. "That's the guy's phone number. All you have to do now is deal and believe you're the best actress on this planet."

Part 16

It was already dark when they arrived at the "Red Dawn"-Club. Angel stopped his car and switched off the ignition. He turned and looked at the three people on the back-seat, Spike, Dru and Doyle: "I think we better wait a moment until Dan Lansky and his partner will arrive."

The three nodded and he turned back to the girl on his side. Buffy was biting on her lower lip. Angel reached out and took her hand: "You'll see, everthing will be alright," he tried to assure her, although the fear was knotting his guts. He was surprised his hand didn't shiver.

She looked at him and tried to smile: "I know. I just hope he'll buy it and I can make him talk."

"You will," he replied, squeezing her hand. "I believe in you, Buffy. You've been so strong the whole time. You can do it. As Spike said it's the last chapter to close that book so you can move on."

"Move on," she laughed, but it didn't sound happy. "For six years I was only running away. I don't know if I still know what moving on is." She looked at their entwined hands: "Will you be still there? I mean when this is all over, will you stay with me?"

"If you want me to," he said. "It's up to you."

She nodded but didn't look at him. Then Angel saw a car coming up behind them and turned to his friends: "That's Dan I believe." He took a deep breath and again looked at Buffy: "It's time." She nodded again and they climbed out of the car.

Dan and his partner, a guy Spike introduced as Sam Lowell, came towards them and everybody shook hands. Dan gazed at the blonde girl: "Okay Buffy, I think Angel and Spike have explained everything to you. We just make a test with your microphone, okay. You go a little bit over there and say something."

Buffy did so and when the equipment worked she came back. "Alright," Sam pointed towards the club. "Dan and I will be inside. There is a backside door. Angel, Dru and Spike will go with you and be right around the corner. Buffy, you have to go on your own." He smiled: "You can do that. You're tough girl, Spike says."

She gave a half-smile: "Tough girl, uh? Sounds good, I hope I can live up to your expectations."

The two police officers looked at the group, nodded and then disppeared in the club, while the others made their way to the backside of the building. Angel glanced at his watch: "He'll be there any minute. Buffy," he turned to the girl: "I believe in you, you can do this." He paused for a moment and then leaned towards her: "I love you, never forget that," he whispered near her ear.

She smiled and mouthed: 'I love you too.' Then she squeezed his hand again and stepped into the dimly lightened back-yard. Many thoughts were racing through her head, would Lex believe her, would she make him talk, would she be able to end the nightmare today, leave Dermot and all her past behind her. And then, what would happen to Angel and her? She loved him, but they'd never talked about the future. Deep inside she knew they had avoided the subject, both of them, because of the danger that was still hanging over them. She was still in her thoughts when suddenly a tall scar-faced man stepped into the light. Lex.

Angel drew a sharp breath when he saw the figure coming towards Buffy. His mind was running wild too, but the dominant feeling was fear. He'd never been so afraid in his whole life. He knew it was maybe her best shot to proove her innocence, but suddenly it didn't look as intriguing as it had. All he wanted now was to keep her safe. He felt Spike's hand on his shoulder and turned. His friend smiled and nodded to show him he understood.

"Hi Buffy," Lex began, while he was stepping closer. "I'd say it's nice to see you, but we both know that'd be a lie."

"Lex," Buffy nodded.

"I didn't think you'd remember me," he tilted his head a little bit. "I never thought you'd be so clever to take the stuff yourself. I thought you were a little scared lamb."

"Looks can be disguising," the blonde said and was surprised how cool her voice sounded.

*

Dru turned to Spike and grinned: "She's doing it like a pro."

"Sounds good," her blond boyfriend replied. Angel couldn't say anything, his mouth was dry and his heartbeat fast.

*

"Obviously," Lex grinned. "Frankly I never understood why Dermot was so obsessed with you, but now I think there might be more in you than we all have guessed. You seemed like pure innocence, little girl. Anna," he smiled, but his eyes were cold," yeah, Anna, that was another thing. She was really hot. And she would do it with everyone. Little, cheap whore. It was a pleasure to erase her unworthy life from this planet."

He killed Anna, Buffy thought. Oh god, he really did it. She took a deep breath: "So you killed her," she tried to sound casual. "Well, after killing Dermot this wasn't really something new, was it?" How can I be so cool, she thought. Must be the shock.

He raised his eyebrows: "You think so?" He leaned his right side at the wall of the building. "But we didn't come to talk about Dermot, did we? Where is my stuff, little girl?"

"I want to talk about Dermot though," she replied. "I would like to know who killed him. To say thank you, you know. I hated him."

"Did you?," Lex let out a short laugh. "Well, I think most of us did. He was a greedy bastard. You really don't remember, do you. Yes, many people hated him, but only one hated him enough." He laughed again seeing her questioning gaze: "You're really a little innocent girl. Anna killed him, sweet Buffy. She killed him and took the stuff. I didn't plan to kill her that night in her apartment. But she attacked me," he shrugged. "Nevermind. It doesn't matter. And now my drugs please."

The same moment Sam and Dan crashed through the back-door of the club while Angel, Dru and Spike came around the corner. Lex looked around, wildly: "Mike, Phil," he shouted to call his partners for help. When they didn't show he cried: "Damn cowards." Then his eyes fell on Buffy: "You little betraying whore," his voice was dangerous and before anyone could react he produced a knife and stabbed the girl right in her stomach.

Angel's eyes widened in shock when he realised he was too late: "Buffy," he cried and catched her in his arms before she hit the ground.

She looked at him with wide, almost surprised eyes: "Angel," she breathed. Then she was unconscious.

*******

He had been in waiting rooms of hospitals before but he couldn't remember that he'd ever felt like this. Angel sat in the corner on the ground, his knees pulled to his chest, his forehead resting on them. He had failed her. He should have never allowed her to do this, to try to proove her innocence this way. Oh god, what had he done. This was all his fault. If she would die it would be his fault.

He had been with her in the ambulance and now she was in surgery for almost an hour. Doyle had called her parents, Angel wasn't sure if his voice would work properly. All he felt was fear and guilt. He would never forgive himself for endangering her life.

Spike and Dru were gone with the police and Lex to complete the paperwork there, while Doyle had picked up Cordelia and they were now sitting next to Angel in the waiting - room.

"Angel," a voice sounded from the doorway.

He looked up and saw Joyce Giles standing there, her face wet with tears.

"Mrs. Giles," he gazed at her. "She's still in surgery," he answered her unspoken question.

She stepped closer and sat herself on the chair beside him: "What happened?"

"She was stabbed in the stomach. It was my fault," he said without looking at her. "I should have never allowed her to do this. I should've known how dangerous it was."

She laid a hand on his shoulder: "Buffy can be very stubborn."

"Angel, man, it was the only way, and you know it. Don't blame yourself," Doyle said. "Mrs. Giles it's nobody's fault. It just happened, we weren't fast enough. The swine stabbed her with his knife before anyone could react."

Joyce nodded and squeezed Angel's shoulder: "Don't blame yourself. I know you love my daughter, you would never endanger her intentionally."

For the first time he looked up: "But it was my fault. I was responsible for her. I should've never gotten emotionally involved. That's the first thing you learn. Never attach yourself to your clients, it clouds your judgement."

"Oh Angel, we cannot always control our feelings and emotions, sometimes they are stronger than we are," Joyce smiled at him. "And it is wonderful."

He shook his head stubbornly and put his forehead back on his knees, when Giles stepped into the room and looked at his wife: "I talked to a nurse. They're through with the surgery and they'll bring her to the IU now. The doctor will talk to us soon." He shot the man on the floor a deadly glare. For him, Angel was the one responsible for this. He hadn't trusted the guy with his daughter and this was the proof he'd been right.

Only five minutes later the doctor came: "Mr. and Mrs. Giles?"

Joyce and Giles stood up and the doctor smiled: "I think she'll make it. The stab wound was pretty deep and it went right into the liver, but we could sew the damage and with a little luck, she'll be okay."

"Thank you so much," Joyce was relieved. "Can we see her?"

"But only for a minute or two. She'll sleep until tomorrow morning. You should all go and have some sleep too."

"Alright," Giles smiled at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," the doctor said and left.

Giles looked at his wife: "You go first." Joyce nodded and left the room.

"Angel," Cordelia looked at her friend who hadn't lifted his head during the whole conversation. "Doyle and I go now. I hope that's alright."

He nodded and she asked: "Will you be alright?"

He raised his head, tears were running down his face: "I'm okay. Thanks for being here."

She went over to him and took his hand: "She'll be okay. That's all that matters, Angel. Don't blame yourself."

He nodded again and the couple left.

Giles took a seat and looked at the man on the other side of the room: "That's the way you're protecting my daughter," his voice sounded angry. "You should've stayed away from her."

"I'm sorry," Angel replied in a whisper. "I'm so sorry."

"It's a little late for this," the older man went on. "I think it would be the best you stay away from her now. She has to recover from this and all she needs is rest and peace."

Angel rose to his feet, but his body still leaned against the wall. He didn't say anything, he only stared at Giles. Buffy had trusted him and now she was laying in a hospital bed with a stab wound. He had failed her like he had failed Sarah. He pushed himself from the wall and without a word he left the room.

In the corridor he almost bumped into Joyce who was coming back from Buffy's room. When she saw him she smiled: "I have a good feeling, Angel. She'll make it."

He nodded and wanted to turn towards the exit when she held him back: "Don't you want to see her?," she asked.

"I don't know." He took a deep breath: "Yes, I'll go and see her," a sad smile played on his lips. "One last time," he whispered, so that Joyce wouldn't hear it. He smiled at her and she smiled back. Then she turned to join her husband in the waiting-room.

*

Angel entered Buffy's room and walked over to her bed. She looked pale and was hooked to several tubes, but the constant beebing of the monitor told him that she was alright. As alright as she could be with a stab wound.

He moved closer, sat on the chair and took her hand: "I'm so sorry, Buffy," he said and a tear run over his cheek. "You trusted me and I failed you. You'll never know how sorry I am. Your father is right. I'll stay away from you, you're not safe with me." He pressed a kiss on the back of her hand: "I love you. I'll always love you, but I'm not good for you. Be safe, my love." He stood up and kissed gently her forehead: "Good-bye, my love."

Then he turned and left the room.

Part 17

Buffy lay on her bed in her old room and was staring at the ceiling. Three weeks since Lex had stabbed her with his knife, ten days since she had been allowed to go home. And still no sign of him. He hadn't shown up in the hospital, he hadn't phoned - nothing. All Cordelia had found on his desk had been a note that he would be out of town for a while and contact her and Doyle in a few weeks.

Why had he left her? How could he just walk out of her life like this - without a single word. Had their love meant so little to him? Or had all been just a way for him to make her feel safe during the time he was responsible for her? No, that couldn't be true she tried to assure herself. It wasn't like that. He had been so loving and it had been in his eyes. People couldn't lie with their eyes, not people like Angel. But what had happened? What could have caused him to leave her - alone and empty?

She felt lonely and numb during the days, but she was crying through the nights, when the darkness took everything away that was connected to light and life. Did her parents hear her, she wondered.

An knock on her door interrupted her thoughts and Joyce entered her room: "Hi honey, how do you feel?"

"Alright," Buffy replied, but her voice sounded lifeless.

"Does it still hurt?," her mother wanted to know.

"No," her daughter answered, touching her wound. It had healed nicely. But it hurts, oh god it hurts so much more somewhere else, she thought. "Mom," she began. "Is it possible to stop loving someone?"

"Would that someone be a handsome, dark-haired guy named Angel?"

Buffy nodded and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "I miss him so, mom. Why did he leave me? How could he just walk out of my life like this?"

Joyce took her daughter's hand and looked into her hazel eyes: "I don't know honey. I had such a good feeling, I told him it wasn't his fault and he seemed to believe me. I don't know what happened." She shook her head to show how helpless she felt.

"Giles says I shouldn't dwell on it, but I can't. I love him, oh god, I love him so much." She threw her arms around her mother's neck and cried on her shoulder. Joyce hugged her tightly. Her heart went out for Buffy, there had been so much pain in her life and all that she wished was for her to be happy.

After a while the crying stopped and the blonde girl pulled back: "I'm sorry, but it seems I feel like crying all the time these days."

"I understand," her mother replied softly. "It hurts. Oh, I want to kill him for hurting you like this!"

Buffy couldn't help but smile: "You're a great mom, do you know that?"

"It was time you would realise that," Joyce joked. "Now, my darling. You should take a nap and later I'll bring you some soup. How does this sound?"

"Great," her daughter said. "And thanks."

Joyce stood up and smiled at her. And she made a vow that she would find out what had happened.

******

It appeared that she didn't have to, because only half an hour later while she was standing in the kitchen making some soup for Buffy the door bell rang.

Joyce was surprised to see Cordelia standing there and more so when she saw the angry face of the young woman.

"Mrs Summers. Can I talk to you. It is quite important, I think," she said with an urgent voice.

"Of course." The older woman stepped back to let her in and pointed towards her living-room. "Please take a seat. Do you want coffee?"

Cordelia raised her hand: "No thanks. I just have to talk to you. It won't take long." She sat down and when Joyce did the same she began: "This morning I had a call from Georgie, she's Angel's sister. She's living in New York and it appears that Angel is with her." She looked at her lap for a moment and then back into Joyce's eyes: "It seems he's miserable and refused to talk about it. But yesterday night he and Gavin, that's Georgie's husband, had a long night and drank a little bit too much. It loosened Angel's tongue." She paused again and Joyce looked at her expectantly.

"Go on. What did he say? Buffy's miserable too."

The brunnette smiled: "I know. Willow told me. It seems that a certain step-father of a certain client confirmed his feeling of being guilty. And that he even convinced him that staying away from said client would be the best for all parts."

"You mean, that..." No, this can't be, Joyce thought, he wouldn't do this. He would never go so far, would he?

Cordelia nodded: "Yes, when he and Angel were alone in the waiting room he accused him that he wasn't able to look out for Buffy and that he was the last person she would need right now. I don't know if you know that, Mrs. Summers, but some years ago, Angel's girlfriend. Well, it wasn't something serious. Nevermind, Sarah, that was her name, was killed by an assasin. He shot her while they were kissing. Angel had a hard time to get over this and ..."

"... for that he was an easy victim for Rupert," Joyce finished her sentence in a voice that held barely hidden anger. "I cannot believe it," she stood up and paced the room. "How could he do it? I know he didn't approve of their relationship, but his," she waved her hands, "it's unforgivable. She's been so miserable." Suddenly she stopped pacing and faced her visitor again: "Let's forget Rupert for a moment, he's mine to deal with. The more important question is, how can we get Angel back here? I strongly believe they have just to talk with each other and everything will be fine."

Cordelia grinned: "Now, I've already taken care of this. I just wanted to know if you're game."

"I'm in," Joyce confirmed her enthusiastically.

The brunette looked at her watch: "Angel's plane should land in LA right now. Doyle went to the airport to get him there. He confirmed him this morning that we had a complicated case where we need his help. And he'll bring him right here to your house."

Mrs. Summers grinned too: "Sounds great."

"All I have to do is call Doyle to tell him, you're okay with this," she looked at Joyce.

"Sure, take the phone. I'm going to tell Buffy. She has to know this at once, although it'll hurt her that her *step-father* was behind all her misery." She sighed. "I'll be back in five minutes."

Cordelia had already dialed: "Doyle," she said into the phone. "Get him here. Now."

*********

Angel watched the LA traffic passing by when he drove with Doyle towards the agency or that was what his partner had told him. New York had been hell or close to it. He'd never thought he'd miss her so much. He missed her every second of every day. If he hadn't been so sure before he would be now, he loved her. Truly, madly, deeply. He laughed inwardly, his sister had played that song all the time and it had cut right into his heart.

And now he was back. In LA, where she was only minutes away from him, but it could've been the moon as well. He wasn't sure anymore if he'd been right leaving her, but he couldn't go back now. She'd hate him and she had every right to do so. He'd left her, wounded, in the hospital. He'd listened to the words of her father, step-father, he corrected himself quickly. All of a sudden it seemed terribly important, that they weren't natural relatives. But he had felt so guilty that night and Giles's words hat hit home. He just couldn't deal with it.

Angel suddenly realised that they weren't going anywhere near the agency: "Doyle, where are we going?"

"Not to the office," his friend replied dryly.

He sighed: "I've already noticed. But I wanted to know *where* we're going and not where not."

"There is this urgent case. A girl, blonde, nice, but terribly miserable, because her boyfriend just left her in the hospital without a word." Doyle didn't look at his friend, but grinned.

"No," Angel sat straight up in his seat. "Doyle," he said warningly. "Don't do that."

"You've no choice. We're going there and you talk to her. I promised. And you know Delia, you wouldn't want me to sleep on the sofa for a week, would you?"

"Alright. I'm coming with you. But just for the record. I think this isn't your best idea ever. She'll hate me. And as a result it'll only hurt her more."

But Doyle didn't seem to listen, so Angel just leaned back in his seat. He should've known it. They tricked him. Christ, I only hope she can forgive me that.

********

Half an hour later Joyce came back into the living-room, followed by a pale Buffy, whoes face showed that she'd been crying, but whoes eyes showed new found hope. "Hi Cordy," she greeted the brunette.

"Hi Buffy," she greeted back.

"I'm going to get us some coffee," Joyce announced and disppeared in the kitchen.

"Mom told me," the blonde began. "I cannot believe, Giles did this."

"Where is he?," Cordelia wanted to know.

"Gone to the zoo, with Steven," Buffy replied and sat down. "He's seen every day how much I missed him and he didn't say a word. God I'm so angry with him, but also sad. How could he do that to me ... us? I can only imagine how much Angel's hurting. I know how much he still suffered because of Sarah."

"Yeah," the brunette said. "Angel's a good friend. And he had a hart time when the thing with Sarah happened. They weren't really close you know," she explained. "Well, they were sleeping with each other, but it wasn't," she paused for a moment, "it wasn't the same. When he looked at you, you could see he loved you. He never looked at her like that. They liked each other, they had fun together, but it wasn't the same."

Buffy smiled: "You don't have to assure me, Cordy. I'm not jealous and I already knew that. He told me. God, I thought he wouldn't love me and now I hear that my own father did this."

"Now here you go," Joyce smiled when came back with a tray loaded with coffee-mugs and some crackers. "Take yourself a mug. Buffy just one thing. When your father comes back, let me deal with him. I don't want to have any quarrels in front of Steven, okay?"

"Alright mom, I'll try, but I can't promise anything. Right now I'm so angry."

Mrs. Summers planted a hand on her daughter's arm: "I understand honey, but please try."

Buffy nodded and the same moment the door-bell rang.

Part 18

"No, mom, let me go," Buffy touched the arm of her mother and held her back.

Joyce looked at her daughter for a moment, then she smiled, nodded and settled down beside Cordelia.

Buffy took a deep breath and opened the door. Doyle stood there and smiled sheepishly while Angel only stared at her, not knowing what to say.

"Hi Doyle," the blonde said and smiled. "Why don't you just go in. Your wife is already there." Then she looked at Angel: "It's like a big family reunion."

He still couldn't say a word. She was pale and fragile and you could see she still suffered from the stab wound but she was taking his breath away. He tore his gaze away from her face and wanted to enter the house when he felt her hand on his chest: "No, mister. You're not coming in."

"Sorry," he whispered. "I told Doyle it wasn't a good idea." He tried desperately not to show how much he was hurt by her behaviour although he felt she'd every right to treat him this way. "I ... I'll better go." He turned and wanted to go to the car, when he felt her hand on his arm.

"You're not going anywhere. I just don't want to talk to you in front of a bunch of spectators," she smiled, stepped out of the house and closed the door behind her. She nodded over to the bench: "Why don't we sit down for a moment."

He studied her face and then said: "Alright."

After both sat down Buffy took his hand: "I missed you. No, don't say anything. I know why you left and you're wrong."

"Buffy, I..."

She raised her free hand: "Let me talk. Cordelia told me what Giles said to you. I'm so sorry. I wish I could take that away, he must have hurt you terribly."

Angel only stared at her. She wasn't angry with him: "I'm sorry too," he said. "For leaving like this. It's just ... I couldn't deal with it. I felt responsible for what happened. I know it's stupid, but that night everything came rushing back and... I was a fool and all I can offer you is to say I'm sorry for hurting you." Suddenly it wasn't important anymore if he was the right man for her, the only thing that counted was that he loved her more than anything. The three weeks without her had been hell and all he wanted was to be with her for the rest of his life. So he took a deep breath and looked into her eye: "Would you," he swallowed, "would you take me back?"

"Oh Angel," she breathed and threw her arms around his neck. "I'll take you any way I can get you. I love you. But you have to promise never to leave me like this again. And for the record, you're not responsible for this." She looked at her stomach and touched the spot where she'd been wounded. Caressing his cheek she smiled: "You're responsible for helping me, for finding the real killer, for giving me my life back, for believing in me. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

He rolled his eyes and smiled too: "Don't flatter me. I only did my job."

"No," she said firmly. "It was much more and you know it. You believed in me when nobody else did and you did it although you barely knew me."

He laughed: "I'm usually not that gullible. Actually Doyle always says I'm to critical with our clients. But with you. I just knew it. Maybe because I loved you. I certainly never planned to fall in love with you, it just happened and it happened so fast and was so deep there was not way I could fight it."

She smiled: "I'm glad. That you didn't fight it, I mean. Because I've never felt that way before and I doubt I'm going to feel like this for any other man." She grinned: "So you see, you're stuck with me. I'm your private responsiblity now."

He grinned back: "Ary you? Hmm. Sounds good." He leaned forward an began to nuzzle at her earlobe.

Buffy felt showers running all over her body and moaned: "God, Angel. We're sitting on a bench for everyone to see us. I think we'd better stop."

He pulled back from her: "Maybe we should go in, don't you think?"

She nodded, stood up and pulled him with her into the house where the others were sitting and grinning broadly when the couple entered the living room.

"Why are you grinning like idiots," Buffy asked playfully.

"Oh nothing," Cordelia tried to make a straight face. "So everything's alright with you two, I guess."

"Yes," Angel answered, putting an arm around Buffy's waist and pulling her to him. He looked at Doyle and Cordelia: "Thank you. For being not as stupid as I was."

Joyce smiled and stood up: "I'm glad," she said. She gazed at Angel: "She was miserable you know. But now her eyes are shining." She laid a hand on his arm: "Angel, none of us blames you for what happened. And I'm sure you know that."

"What about your husband?," he asked.

"Leave Rupert to me. Now, why don't you just take Buffy and you spend the day together or as much time as you want."

"Mom," Buffy exclaimed in mocked indignity. "Are you pushing me in the arms of a man? Ts.ts.ts. Shame on you!"

Joyce laughed: "Hush. Just go and have a nice day. Angel I know you'll take care of her. She's still not back to her full health, so make it easy."

He kissed Buffy on the top of her head: "I'll treat her like gold," he promised and smiled at her.

"I'm not an invalid," she protested. "But I'm not saying anything against the rest. So we go?"

"Fine." Cordelia got up and looked at Angel: "You have to drop us off at the agency so we can get our car."

He nodded: "Then let's go. Thank you Mrs. Summers."

"Why don't you call me Joyce?"

"Thanks then, Joyce," he smiled at her and she surprised him by leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek. Then she hugged her daughter and whispered:

"Have a great time."

Buffy smiled: "I'm sure we will. See you later."

Laughing they got into the car and drove away.

*******

When Rupert Giles entered the house with his son about an hour later he was surprised to find his wife sitting in the living-room, drinking coffee and reading a book.

"Mommy," Steven cried and jumped onto his mother's lap. "We were at the zoo," he exclaimed.

Joyce laughed: "I know, my darling."

"It was sooo cool!"

His mother rolled her eyes. Steven was definitely spending too much time with Willow's boyfriend. "What did you see?"

"Oh," his eyes were wide and excited: "Lions and tigers and rhibos."

"Rhibos?," she asked.

"Yeah," he answered quickly. "They have a horn on their nose. And sometimes two."

"You mean rhinos, darling."

"Whatever," he said with a motion of his hand. "And then we saw penguins. Daddy said they live where it's always cold, but I don't believe him." He looked at his father who smiled.

Joyce didn't look at her husband: "And why won't you believe this, Steven?"

"Because they don't even have clothes. They would be freezing," his face was very serious and it was obvious he'd thought about that very thoroughly. "You need a coat to live where it's cold and they hadn't anything."

"I see," Joyce smiled at him when he yawned. "You are tired my love," she said and touched his cheek. "Why don't you take a little nap and afterwards you can have a piece of cake."

"Yeah," he grinned.

"Then let's go upstairs." For the first time she looked at her husband: "Could you please wait for me, Rupert. I want to talk to you."

Her voice was harsh and he looked at her quizzically. When she wouldn't elaborate anything he only shrugged and nodded.

******

After dropping Doyle and Cordelia at the agency Angel looked at Buffy: "How do you feel?"

She rolled her eyes: "I'm fine. My mother always exaggerates. I'm just not up for a long distance run, but I'm fine. Really," she assured him.

"Alright," he smiled. "What do you think about going to the beach. Just for a walk. I know a nice spot where almost nobody goes to."

"I'd like that." She leaned over and kissed him on his cheek. "I would like to talk to you some more."

"Yeah," he took her hand. "We never talked about us, right? Too much ... action?"

She grinned: "Yeah. Now, let's go. I've been too much inside the last weeks. I'm *so* looking forward to the beach."

********

Giles looked up when his wife returned to the living-room and smiled: "I bet he fell asleep at once. He must have been exhausted." He stretched his hands over his head: "And I'm too."

She didn't smile at him, only sat down and studied his face. After a while she said: "You're still looking like the man I've married, you know, but I'm not sure if you're he anymore."

He stared at her: "What do you mean? By the way how's Buffy? Is she asleep?"

"She's fine," she said without taking her eyes from his face. Then she shook his head: "How can you even dare to ask how she feels after what you've done? How could you do this and then look into the mirror each morning?"

"What are you talking about?," he asked confused. He tried to think about what he'd done but couldn't find anything.

"God, this is the worst. You don't even know it! I don't believe it." She closed her eyes for a moment and then looked at him again: "You told him to stay away from our daughter, do you remember that?"

His eyes lit up with understanding: "Yes, I do. I strongly believe it's the best for her. Joyce, he's an unsteady job. A private investigator, his life is dangerous and he couldn't even keep her safe."

"But she loves him," his wife stood up and paced. "Love, Rupert. Do you remember that feeling?"

"That's low," he replied with a hurt look.

"Is it? I'm not so sure. They love each other so much. How could you do this? But to inform you, they're back together. Fortunately women are smarter than men and so we rightened the wrong. And Buffy is with him now and by god I hope they'll making it work. And don't you dare to interfere again."

He stared at his wife. He couldn't believe this: "So you went behind my back although you knew I didn't approve of this," his voice was filled with anger now. "How could you do this?"

"I think you should really shut up now, Rupert, before you say things you can't take back again. Better you go and think about everything. You're already familiar with our guest-room, as I recall. I think you'll better get used to it because you won't sleep in our room until you've come to your senses. What is the matter with you. Are you afraid she's going to leave us? Newsflash, honey, she's grown up. She'll leave us sooner or later, that's only natural. Get used to it, get your senses straight or," she paused and glared at him. "Get lost." With this she stormed out of the room.

Giles jumped on his feet and ran after her: "Joyce, you can't mean that," he pleaded.

She was half-way up the stairs. Her eyes were like ice: "Watch me, Rupert." Then she turned back and disappeared in Steven's room.

Part 19

It was very peaceful at the beach although it was weekend and one should've expected more people around, but obviously Angel knew this special place. So the only people they saw was another couple walking somewhere in the distance.

Angel and Buffy walked in silence for a while just holding hands and enjoyed being together after these lonely weeks. After a while he leaned over and pressed a kiss on the top of her head. She looked up and smiled at him, then they continued their silent march. There was light breeze, they could hear some seagulls and noises of the water.

Buffy stopped and took a deep breath: "It's wonderful out here. How do you know this special spot."

He looked to the ground for a moment as if to struggle with the answer, then he raised his head again: "Sarah and I used to come here." He watched her waiting for her reaction.

She smiled: "So you're ready to finally let go?"

He smiled back happy she understood him so well: "Yeah. I thought it was appropriate coming here. You know to start fresh with you. Leaving the guilt behind me, so it won't haunt us anymore - well somehow at least." He stroked her cheek: "I know it'll ever be with me, but I am not allowing it to run my life anymore."

They began to walk again.

"I thought you'd realised it was a fault. Us, I mean. When you didn't come to the hospital and nobody knew where you were. Then Doyle came with your note." Her voice was even and quiet but he could hear the sadness in it.

He kissed the back of her hand: "You'll never know how sorry I am. But it just came rushing back and then your ..." he took a deep breath. "However. I know it was wrong, but I couldn't deal. I'm usually not the run-away type."

"I don't know if I can forgive him," she said. "How could he do this to me? I always thought he loved me." Tears were threatening in her eyes.

Angel stopped her and put a finger under her chin to make her look at him: "He loves you."

She let out a short unhappy laugh, but he insisted:

"He does. Buffy, he loves you very much. Everyone can see that. But he's afraid to loose you. Again. He thinks if you're falling in love with a man and then you'll disppear like you did some years ago. It's a very irrational fear and maybe he isn't even aware of it. He thinks he's angry with me, but actually he's only scared." He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"You think?," there was hope in her voice. And she truly hoped, hoped nothing more this might be true. Because she could, would, forgive him for this - eventually.

"I'm sure. You have to talk. Assure him, that you still love him and that nothing will change that feeling."

"I love you," she whispered. "I cannot believe I could ever live without you. It's as if I only started living when you came into my life."

"The feeling's mutual," he replied, closing his arms around her and and pulling her to him. "I want this to work," he said suddenly. "I love you so much. I never thought something like this was possible. It's almost unreal."

"It's very real," she protested with a smile. "I'm very real."

"Yeah," he whispered and caught her lips in a kiss that told her about his deep love and devotion.

Buffy felt like flying, nobody had ever kissed her like this. It wasn't a very passionate kiss, but it held so much love it literally took her breath away and she tried everything to show him her feelings as well. When they came up for air again she smiled: "Wow."

"One kiss," he agreed.

They laughed, their foreheads still touching.

"I want this to work too," she said. "I cannot think ever living without you again. It's so strong it scares me."

"Scares you," he asked worried.

"Not scares me *scares me* you know. But it's so strong. It fills me completely, without you I feel empty and lost. How am I ever going to be without you again?"

"There's no need to be scared. I'll always be with you, as long as you want me to, that is, and if it helps I feel the same. That was the reason I was so scared at the beginning. Scared, that my feelings would interfere with my job. I thought when they already clouded my judgement with Sarah then what would happen with you. But obviously it was stronger than me. I couldn't fight it."

"So we stay together," she asked with a shaky voice. The answer would decide her whole life.

"That's all I want", he replied honestly. *She* was all he wanted. "Maybe we could have a real date, have dinner, drink coffee or what normal couples do." He smiled.

"Coffee, huh?," she grinned. "I think normal couples don't meet each other in a case of murder."

He tilted his head: "What are you trying to say?"

"That we're over the stage of coffee. But I'd like to have a dinner with you. What about tonight?"

"Are you sure," his voice sounded concerned. "You're out of hospital for only ten days."

"And?"

"I don't want you to over-exert yourself, that's all." But he didn't want anything more than spend time together with her and he already knew the perfect place.

"I won't," she assured him. "I feel fine. Actually," she grinned, "I feel great, better than I have for a very, very long time."

"Alright," he kissed her again. "Then you're invited for dinner at Angel's place. I'm quite a good cook, if I may say so and you can lay down whenever you feel it's too much for you."

She beamed: "I'd like that very much, but I want to go home first. Dress up, you know," she grinned.

He raised an eyebrow: "Does that mean I have to wear a suit or a tux?"

She laughed: "No, although I'd like to see you in a tux someday, but not tonight. Whatever you choose to wear is perfect. I just think when you cook dinner the least I can do is surprise you with a nice outfit. And I'll ask Xander to drive me, so I can meet you at your doorstep."

"Alright," he kissed her again and looked at his watch: "It's almost five now. I'll bring you back home and then we meet at eight. Is that okay with you?"

"Perfect," she beamed. "I love you."

"Love you too," he replied and they sunk into another kiss.

********

"Honey you look perfect," Joyce told her daughter two hours later. "Angel's going to lose it."

"Mom, what language," Buffy exclaimed but grinned. "I don't hope this is going to happen. Because I want him to be very aware of me tonight."

"Oh he will," her mother assured her. "You're so beautiful, honey."

"And I have to thank you for that. This dress is great." Her daughter turned back and forth in front of the mirror.

"I wanted to give it to you for christmas but I think now it's just the right time." Joyce stood up from her place on Buffy's bed and walked over to her. She reached in her pocket and held out something for her.

"Oh mom! These are your pearls!" Buffy could hardly believe it.

"Yes. And I think they fit perfectly for tonight." She put them around her daughter's neck. "When do you expect Xander?"

Buffy was about to anser when the door bell rang: "Now," she said laughing.

"I'll go and let him in," Joyce headed down the stairs and towards the door but Giles had already let Xander in. Mrs. Giles stopped on the stairs and listened.

"Xander," her husband said in a friendly voice. "Did you came to see Buffy?"

The young man smiled: "Good evening Mr. Giles, I just came to bring her to her date. She called me some hours ago." His voice was tight and held anger.

"I see," he replied and Joyce choose this moment to join them: "Xander, how good of you to drive Buffy," she extended her hand to greet him.

"Mrs. Giles," he greeted back. "Is she... all mighty goodness," he said suddenly and stared to the stairs. Buffy came down, a smile on her face. She wore a burgundy red dress of knee-length with thin straps that accentuated the important parts. With it she wore high heels of the same colour and the bautiful pearls her mother had given to her. Her hair was curled up on her head and some loose strands fell at the sides of her face over her neck. She looked breathtaking.

Giles saw her as well: "You look wonderful, Buffy," he complimented her.

"Thank you," she said, but the smile on her face disappeared. "I'm going to meet Angel," she informed him. Then she looked at Xander and the smile was back on her face: "Thanks Xand, I owe you one."

He grinned: "Not really. I had to honour to look at you."

She laughed: "You're never going to be a millionaire. You're to easy to please."

Joyce kissed her daughter on the cheek: "Have a wonderful evening," then she leaned to her ear: "And don't feel forced to come back."

"Mom," Buffy blushed a little bit. But Joyce only shrugged and grinned.

With a short glance at Giles she left the house, Xander in tow and Giles could hear him laugh while he was saying: "God, Buff, whoever that guy is he must be pretty special to earn you."

"He is," she said laughing as well. "I assure you, Xand, he is."

Part 20

Angel was nervous and almost burned a part of their dinner and he felt butterflies in his stomach when the doorbell finally rang. Taking a deep breath he headed for the door to open it. What he saw took his breath away. Buffy had never looked so beautiful, in fact he couldn't remember ever having seen something like her tonight.

She smiled at him, he looked gorgeous in his black pants and the dark green shirt. "Hi," she greeted him.

"Hi," he breathed, still not fully master of his voice.

"Hi, I'm Xander," a young man beside Buffy said. Angel hadn't noticed him so far.

"Angel," he introduced himself. When he saw the other man rise an eybrow he held his hand up: "Keep your comment to yourself. There's none I haven't heard already."

Xander grinned: "I just wanted to see that Buffy's safe with you." He leaned over to her: "Have a nice evening. But I really can't see what's so special about him."

"Xand!," she exclaimed. "Thanks for bringing me."

"You're welcome. Have a nice time." With this he turned and disappeared in the elevator.

Angel cleared his throat: "Uh, why don't you just come in?," he invited her.

She smiled and entered his apartment: "It smells wonderful. What are you cooking?"

"It's a surprise," he replied smiling as well. "You're so beautiful," he complimented her.

"Thank you, mom had planned to give me the dress for Christmas, but she thought this evening would be more appropriate."

He stepped closer and encircled her waist with his arms: "Remind me to thank her."

"I will," she rose on her toes and met his lips in a sweet kiss. "I missed you," she whispered in his ear.

He smiled: "It was only three hours."

"Too long." She pulled back a little. "It looks wonderful," she pointed towards the table where Angel had everything ready for them. He'd lit up two candles as well.

"Are you hungry?", he asked.

"Hmmm, very and the more so when this smell is tickling my nose."

"Sit down, Mylady," he bowed like a servant. She nodded as ladylike as possible and he helped her in her chair. "First course is coming soon."

With this he disappeared in the kitchen but was back only a minute later with two plates. They held avocado-salad with crevettes and joghurt-dressing. Her eyes widened: "Where did you learn to cook? The Riz?"

He laughed and took his seat opposite to her: "My mother loved to cook and as she had no hopes I'd ever marry she thought it would be a good thing to teach me how to prepare a proper meal."

"Why?," she asked while she tasted the salad: "Oh my god, that tastes delicious."

He beamed: "Thanks. Why what?"

"Why didn't she think you'd ever marry?"

He rolled his eyes: "I was ... well pretty wild. Had a new girlfriend every week. It wasn't anything serious, actually I was very shy and we never did more than kissing, but they all ran after me in highschool."

She grinned: "I cannot imagine why."

"Me neither," he replied honestly. "In highschool I was certainly nothing a girl could find attractive, but I had a brother who was the quarterback of our highschool football-team."

"You have a brother?"

"Yeah. Graham. He's two years older than I. He and his wife live in Sidney. He works for a computer company," he sighed. "They have two children, Sam and Sheila. That's my mother's name."

"Where are your parents?," Buffy wanted to know everything about his family now.

"They live in New York too. That's where I was born. I saw them while I was there," he told her. Then he looked at her empty plate. "Ready for the second course?," he asked. When she nodded he stood up and went into the kitchen again.

So he had two siblings and his parents were still alive, she thought. There was so much she didn't know about him, and yet she felt so comfortable around him as if she'd known him forever. It would be interesting to learn about every detail in his life. When she saw him coming back she smiled.

He smiled back: "Now this is catfish in creme-sauce. I love it and I hope you'll do too." He placed the plate in front of her and waited for her to taste it.

She closed her eyes: "That's wonderful, hmmm. God, you're not a cook, you're a genius."

He laughed: "Thanks. I'm glad you like it."

"Definitely," she nodded. Waving her fork through the air she said: "If I wouldn't be in love with you already I'd fall in love with you instantly."

He laughed even harder. "My mother would be very proud of you. And after all, you cannot cook as you said, so one should be able to prevent us from starving."

It was said in a teasing voice but Buffy felt a little pang of joy in her heart. It definietly sounded as if he was planning for a longer time. A future, she was almost afraid to think about that word. Sure, they had decided to try to make it work, but his words sounded different, as if ... no, not now. Don't think about it, she told herself. Don't jinx it.

"So you have two siblings and your parents," she said instead.

He nodded: "Yeah, and my niece and nephew and hopefully another one very soon."

"Oh yes, the one you'll be godfather of, I remember."

"Yes," he nodded again and took another bite of his food.

"So you'll be in New York in February."

"Hmm, and for Christmas. My parents want us there and my brother and sister-in-law are coming with their children from Australia." He sighed: "It's a great big family reunion."

She felt disappointment in her chest. Their first Christmas and they would be separated. But he obviously loved his family and she didn't want him to feel bad about her, so she tried to sound relaxed when she said: "You're certainly looking forward to spend these days with your family."

"I am," he looked at his plate and didn't dare to raise his head when he said: "but only if you're coming with me."

Her fork fell down with a loud noise and she stared at him: "What," she whispered.

He looked up: "Would you come with me? It's only one week ahead and ... well, I don't want to spend Christmas without you. It would be only for three days and I promise you'll like my family."

"Yes," she answered without hesitation. Happiness flodded her whole body. "Of course I want to come with you."

"Really," his eyes were full of hope. "What about your family. Won't they be very diappointed?"

She gestured with her hand: "Mom will understand. And at the moment I don't really care about Giles." When she saw his look she sighed: "I will talk to him, I swear, but there's nothing I want more than to spend Christmas with you."

"I'm very happy," he said with a smile. "Very happy," he said again. "Are you finished with your fish?"

She nodded: "Yes, I feel stuffed. And it was delicious."

"I made some mousse, but we can have that later," he told her while he was carrying the plates into the kitchen. >P> "Yeah," she said and sighed happily. Christmas with Angel in New York. Yes!

**********

Joyce looked over to her husband who was staring at the television. They had spent the whole evening with looking at a stupid film and avoided to talk with each other. She grinned inwardly, she could almost see him fuming. Buffy had treated him cooly and Joyce knew he was angry because Buffy met with Angel without telling him a word in advance. He was behaving ridiculous and deep inside he knew it already, she was sure of it. But true to himself he couldn't admit his fault, he first had to shout and brood.

She yawned: "I'm going to bed now," she announced. "You know the way to the guest-room." He groaned and she almost couldn't hide her smile.

"Don't you wait for Buffy," he asked her trying to hide his annoyance with her behaviour.

"Oh no and I wouldn't wait either if I was you," she said casually and began to walk towards the door.

"Why?," he asked sharply.

"Because," she turned round, "I doubt she'll come home tonight." She yawned again. "I'm really tired. Sleep tight."

"Joyce!"

"Yes, my beloved husband," she replied with amusement in her voice.

"This isn't funny," he said loudly.

"It isn't? Well, alright, then serious. I'm very sure she'll stay with Angel for the night. And please don't shout. Steven is asleep." She leaned at the doorframe and studied his face. God, she loved him, but he could be so stubborn.

"So you're telling me that our daughter is going to have sex with ... him."

"Yes. Rupert, she's 22, don't behave like a moralist. You'd sex when you were 18, you told me yourself and Buffy was born when I was only 21." Not waiting for his reply she disappeared on the stairs.

He only shook his head. This was running out of his hands. Women, he thought, why do they always have to win.

*******

When Angel came back from the kitchen he found Buffy sitting on his sofa and he had to steady himself at her view. He felt himself responding immediately, but he thought about her experiences with men and knew there was no way he could just go and take her right away. He had to be patient, and he wanted to be patient. He loved her so much, he would do nothing to scare her or to make her feel uncomfortable.

"Do you want anything to drink?," he asked glad his voice was working properly.

She shook his head: "No, all I want is for you to come over here," she patted beside her on the sofa.

When he sat beside her she looked deeply in his eyes: "I love you," she whispered and leaned forward to kiss him, soon the kiss spiraled out of control and panting they pulled away from each other. "I," he began, but she laid a finger on his lips and kissed him again.

Soon his hands were roaming allover her body and she pulled him closer with her arms that were lying firmly around his neck. Suddenly she realised what they were doing and pulled back. They were both looking at each other, both breathless.

Angel looked to the ground and then back into her eyes: "I'm sorry," he said, his voice hoarse with desire. "I didn't mean..." His eyes were like deep dark pools and she'd the feeling to drown in them.

"Shhh," she kissed his cheek. "It's okay. I want it too," she said and smiled when she saw the look in his eyes. "I really do, but I'm scared." She bit her lower lip: "I trust you, but after..."

"I know," he cut her off. "We do not have to, I mean, I understand."

"But I want it. I just want you to be gentle."

He kissed her deeply: "What about that? Whenever you feel uncomfortable you just say it and we'll stop."

"Oh Angel," she breathed and tears welled in her eyes. "I love you, oh god, I love you so much." She threw her arms around his neck again and as if she was only a feather he gathered her in his arms and carried her to his bedroom.

Like a groom his bride Angel carried Buffy to his room and gently laid her down on his large bed. He looked at her with so much devotion and love that all her nervousness and fear vanished in an instant and she smiled up at him.

Slowly he knelt down beside her on the bed, reaching out for her cheek and stroking it as if his hand was only a feather. "I love you," he said softly. "And I will show you that this is something wonderful when shared between two people who love each other." Then he leaned down and kissed her, holding his body with his hands which were placed on each side of her body.

The kiss deepened rapidly and she pulled him closer by laying one hand on his neck. Soon his body connected with her's but he was still holding himself on his ellbows not to crush her with his weight.

After a while they had to come up for air and panting they stared in each others eyes. Angel took her face between his hands and gently stroked her cheeks with his thumbs while he was lowering his mouth to kiss every part of her face. His lips touched her only feather-like to finally rest on her mouth again.

Opening her lips a moan escaped them and they both smiled for a moment, then he captured her lower lip with his teeth and licked it with the tip of his tongue, sending hot shivers throughout her body. Then very slowly his tongue entered the cavity of her mouth, exploring every part, running over her teeth, duelling with hers, while his hands were stroking the side of her breasts and moving down to her hips.

Buffy moaned again. Waves of pleasure ran through her body, she'd never felt like this before. Sex with Dermot had been nice, sometimes it had been fun and also pain, but now she began to understand why people called it making love. She could feel his love in every touch and every kiss and she was afraid her heart would burst of happiness. Suddenly aware that she was almost passive so far, she began to thrust her tongue in his mouth as well and she could see the joy in his eyes when he felt her response. One of her hands grabbed his head and run through his thick dark hair while she let the other wander over his back, pulling him closer and closer in the process.

She felt his hands moving towards her back and the zipper of her dress and she arched towards him to give better access. Slowly, ever so slowly he opened it. When it was undone his hands came back to remove the straps from her shoulders, and then to pull the whole dress down while his mouth left a trail of hot kisses on every spot that was exposed in the process.

His head now near her feet he removed her shoes and then began to kiss each single toe which made her giggle. He looked up: "Ticklish?," he asked with a grin.

"Hmm," she sighed happily. "But don't stop," she added in a whisper.

He smiled and kissed up his path on her left leg until he reached her panties, which were aleady soaked wet. Softly he stroked over them with his thumbs and then added his mouth on the same spot to kiss the fine hair through the silk fabric.

She moaned again, arching and pressing herself against his lips. She could feel him smile against her and she bit her lower lip, while her hands burried themselves into the sheets in pleasure but also in frustration because she wasn't able to reach for him.

Very carefully he moved his fingers under the lace part of her panties and pulled them down, kissing a trail down her right leg now and finished with the toes of the same foot while he threw the fabric away.

"Oh god, Angel," she moaned again. "God, this feels ... uh ... so good."

He laughed softly and his mouth wandered over her stomach up to her mouth again. Almost desperately she reached out for him with her hands longing to touch him everywhere. Breaking the kiss she laughed:

"You've definitely too many clothes on." With a quick move she rolled him around, so that she was sitting on top of him, straddling her legs over his hips. Slowly she let her hands slid over his chest: "I like to touch you," she whispered and leaned down to kiss him deeply.

He looked up at her and his heart flooded over with love and passion. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips slightly swollen from kissing and her eyes held a look he would never forget. It was sheer pleasure. The fear he'd always seen there had completely disappeared. He made a vow that moment that he would do everything to make it disappear for good.

Slowly she opened the first button of his shirt and copied his motions from before by following her hands with her lips. He moaned and threw his head back. "Oh god," he gasped, while grabbing her hips with his hands in urgent need for contact. She chuckled slightly against his skin and then to reach the last button pulled the shirt out of his pants.

He raised his back from the bed to get rid of the shirt and she pulled his off of his arms, softly stroking his arms with her fingertips on the way back to his chest. His arms encircled her again and they came together in another breath taking kiss. God, how she loved this man, how she trusted this man. He made her feel whole and complete. Never in her life she'd felt something like this before and she wanted nothing more than to show him her feelings with her whole body.

Breaking the kiss she gently pushed his upper body back down to the bed. She smiled and licked her lips teasingly while he stared at her unable to remove his eyes from the view in front of him. Then she moved down to open the button of his pants and to unzip them. Sitting on her kneed between his legs she pulled them down slowly and carefully while her fingertips tickled the skin on the outside of his legs. She giggled when another gasp escaped his mouth.

"Buffy," he hissed. "God, what are you doing to me?"

She laughed and came up again, laying her chest against his and stroking his lips with her fingers. "I love your face," she said with a smile. "Your lips are so soft, I love to touch them with my fingers."

He opened his mouth and captured one of them between his teeth, licking it with the tip of his tongue. This little contact brought goos-bumps on her arms and back. Pulling her finger back she replaced her hand with her mouth.

Deepening the kiss he rolled them around so that he was on top again. While his hands began to roam allover her body he looked deeply into her eyes: "Are you alright?"

She nodded slightly: "Very much. I love you," she breathed. "Oh god," she added in a husky voice. His hands had just touched a sensible spot at the side of her breasts. With a quick movement he opened her bra and threw it away. She giggled in response while he was looking at her in awe.

"You're so beautiful," he said and leaned down to capture on of her nipples between his lips, sucking gently and sending more waves of pleasure allover her. Teasing the nipple with his teeth now, he let his tongue follow to lick the area around it. After a while he continued his worshipping of her body with the other breast.

Buffy arched and moaned, whispering his name again and again. She was already so near her first orgasm, she couldn't believe it. Then his hand suddenly touched the hair at her center and one finger moved down to stroke her already sensitive spot. It sent her immediately over the edge and her body was rocking with the first orgasm.

Shouting his name she came like a rocket, clutching his head and back with her hands. When she came back to earth she realised he had removed his pants now and slowly he positioned himself between her legs and she could feel his rock hard errection grinding against her tigh.

Locking eyes with her she could see the unspoken question in them. She reached out with her hand and stroked his cheek. "I love you, and I want it too," she whispered. Studying her eyes for another moment, he leaned down to catch her lips in a kiss while he slowly entered her, moving forward inch by inch, to make sure she was alright. When he was settled deep within her he clenched his teeth to hold still for another moment, giving her the oportunity to get used to him and to stretch inside. From what she'd told she hadn't had sex for four years which meant she was almost virginial again and he could feel it. Her tight folds lay around him, squeezing him and he needed every bit of self control not no trust wildly into her right there.

"Are you sure you're okay? I could stop," he asked with concern in his voice.

"No," she whispered. "I don't want you to stop. I want to have it all. Now."

That was enough to let his control slip. He began to move and felt joy when she did the same, arching towards him to take him deeper, after a while she raised her legs and encircled his body with them deepening the contact even more. Her mouth was desperately seeking his' and her hands were roaming his back and chest in need to keep the contact as close as possible. After a while his thrusts became more frantic and she met everyone of them with her own, both moaning and groaning. Feeling his own orgasm close Angel reached down again to touch her throbbing clit and soon she cried out which made him follow in the split of a second, spilling his hot seed into her.

Then he collapsed on top of her, both breathing heavily, both bathed in sweat. After a moment he raised his head and was shocked to see tears running down her face: "Buffy," he asked urgently. "Oh god, did I hurt you?"

She took his face between her hands, shook her head and smiled: "No. Angel, no. I'm just so happy. It was wonderful and I love you. So very much. These are tears of happiness."

"God, I love you," he told her, kissing her gently and then resting his head at the hollow between her breasts. A moment later he moved to roll around and pulled her with him in the process. "I'm to heavy for you."

"I like your weight," she replied, kissing his chest again and laying her head partly on it. "And I love to hear you heartbeat. It's like a lullaby, I fear I'm going to fall asleep very soon."

"Sleep," he said softly, kissing the top of her head. "I love you," he told her again.

"Love you too," she said, her voice already far away.

Part 21

Buffy woke up in the morning by a loud noise coming from the kitchen and she heard Angel swearing something. She laughed softly, while she stretched her legs and arms. This was heaven she decided although the deprivation of her lover was a serious disturbance.

"Angel?," she called him.

"Coming," he replied and soon she heard him approaching the bed-room. He smiled when he came through the door, dressed in sweat-pants and a T-shirt, carrying a tray that held coffee and breakfast. Settling himself with the tray beside her on the bed he leaned over and kissed her gently. "Good Morning," he smiled.

"Morning," she said nodding towards the food. "What's that?"

"Breakfast in bed," he grinned. "I thought that'd be appropriate."

Clutching the sheet over her breast she bit her lower lip: "Uhm, Angel, I'm a bit under-dressed."

A wicked grin spread over his face: "I don't know. I like you that way." When he saw her rolling her eyes he quickly kissed her cheek and then walked over to his dresser. He pulled out one of his own shirts and tossed it to her. Grinning she pulled it over her head: "That's better," she sighed and took one of the coffee mugs. "I need caffeine in the morning."

"Hmm," he replied, reclaiming his place beside her. Taking a mug himself he looked at her: "How do you feel."

"Great," she said with a dreamy look on her face. "You're definitely a keeper."

"You too," he replied quickly. He bowed his head and blew a kiss on her right shoulder where his shirt had slipped down.

She giggled: "I could get used to it. You know, having dinner with you, some night-time activities and then breakfast in bed." She sighed again and took a buttered toast.

"You should," he said, but then quickly changed the subject. "So no regrets," he asked, anxiously wating for her reply. This was his greatest fear, that she wouldn't have enjoyed it the way he had.

"None," she looked at him. "On the contrary. I never felt this way, Angel. So ... loved." Both forgot their coffee for a moment and their lips met in a loving kiss.

"I'm glad and I'm very happy," he smiled. "You make me happy."

She felt tears welling in her eyes. He was so sweet: "Stop that," she said, wiping one away that was rolling town her cheek: "Or this will become a crying-fest."

He laughed: "Alright. But I feel like flying," he admitted. "I didn't know that someone could feel that way. So perfect."

"Yeah, perfect," she confirmed.

*******

After food in bed and an overly long shower Angel drove Buffy back home. They were both sitting in his car in front of the Giles' house. "I don't want to part from you," she said, stroking his cheek.

"Me neither," he replied. "But I fear Cordy and Doyle will unemploy me if I don't show up. I've been gone for over three weeks."

She grinned: "They can't dismiss you, it's your agency."

He grinned back: "Very funny. No, but I cannot abandon them again. And we'll see each other tonight, right?"

"Yes," she whispered, her eyes clouding with passion and desire.

"No, don't do that," he scolded gently. "Or I'll never get something done today."

She giggled: "I wouldn't mind."

"I bet," he laughed. "And then we'll go to New York."

"Yeah," she confirmed. "I can't wait to spend Christmas there. Do you think they'll have snow? I always wanted to spend Christmas in snow."

"Hopefully," he said and then leaned over to kiss her again. He took a deep breath: "See you tonight."

She opened the door: "Love you," she said blowing him another kiss.

Angel sat in his car and watched her disappear in the house. Sighing loudly he started the ignition wondering if that goofy grin would ever vanish from his face.

********

Shutting the door behind her Buffy removed her shoes and started a little when she saw Giles standing in the doorway of the living-room.

"Morning," she greeted him.

"Where have you been," he asked his voice holding barely hidden anger.

She sighed. This day had been so wonderful so far: "With Angel, not that it's any of your buisness."

"And you didn't think you should inform us? I was worried."

"Mom knew it, actually she encouraged me to stay," she grinned thinking about her mother. "And besides I'm 22, I do not need to inform you about every step I take."

"Honey," her mother greeted her the same moment, while she was coming down the stairs. "Did you have a nice evening?"

"Hmmm," Buffy sighed. "Great." The dreamy look was back in her eyes and Joyce smiled.

"I'm very happy for you. You love him very much," she asked with a short side-glance at her husband, who listenend attentively.

"Oh yes," her daughter replied with a huge grin on her face. "He's so caring and loving. Is it possible to be too happy, mom?"

Joyce laughed: "No, certainly not. Are you hungry?"

Buffy shook her head: "No, we had breakfast," glancing at her step-father she added: "In bed. Oh god, mom, he's a great cook too. Dinner was fantastic. If he's ever bored with sniffling after people he can open a restaurant."

Her mother laughed again, ignoring Giles completely: "So I daresay he's a keeper?"

"Definitely," her daughter said with a nod. Then she looked over to her step-father: "I love him, Giles and I want you to be okay with this. But please don't make me choose, because I couldn't live without him anymore."

He took a deep breath: "You look radiant, Buffy," he began. "Even I can see that."

"So?," she asked, desperately trying not to set her hopes too high.

"Your mother said, I was afraid to loose you and after thinking about it I have to admit she's right."

"Oh Giles," Buffy said. "You're never going to loose me. I love you, all of you. It's different from what I feel for Angel, but then it's something so different from all I've felt before."

"What about your feelings for Dermot?," he asked.

"Dermot," she let out a short laugh. "God, that was ... I can't even really remember what it was. I was young, stupid and blinded by his attentions. Every girl in school wanted him and he wanted me ... I was flattered. And then you both were so much against him, it made him only more attractive. But I never loved him, certainly not. If I was ever sure of something, then this. After I fell in love with Angel I know what love is. It's something that makes you whole and complete and you can never get enough of it. Look at me, I've parted from him ten minutes ago and miss him already."

"Maybe I should try to know him better," Giles said hesitantly.

"You should," Buffy nodded. "He's such a wonderful man. Actually I think you both have a lot in common." She grinned and then became serious again: "Dermot left my soul damaged and hurt and Angel healed it. Last night was incredible, he's incredible," she sighed again. Then she bit her lower lip and looked at her parents: "There's just," she took a deep breath, "he's invited me to go with him to New York over Christmas." When she saw the look on her step-father's face she quickly added: "His family lives there. He wants me to meet his parents and siblings."

"Oh honey, that's a wonderful idea. I bet it'll snow there, that's so romantic," Joyce clasped her hands together. "Finnegan? I bet he's Irish, that'll be a traditional catholic christmas."

"I think so," her daughter replied with a shrug. "But I don't care. All I want is to be with him."

"But then I insist you spend the New Year with us," Giles gazed at his daughter and knew there was nothing he could do against this man. He suddenly realised that he would probably loose her if he'd keep up his hostility. This thought scared him to the bones. "You and Angel, I mean."

Buffy had tears in her eyes: "Thank you," she whispered and hugged him tightly. "I love you Giles."

Locking eyes with his wife over her head he could see her smile while she mouthed 'I love you too'.

******

Cordelia's head snapped up from the computer-screen when she saw Angel entering the office whistling cheerfully.

"Oh look, who's back from the dead," she grinned. "Doyle, come join us for a moment," she called for her husband who appeared in the doorway of his office only a second later. She looked at him and then at Angel who was still wearing said goofy-grin: "Can you tell me who this is? I mean, I knew I had a boss, always looking seriously, brooding a lot, but who is this grinning guy?"

"Morning to you too, Cordelia," Angel said and quickly glanced at Doyle who was grinning knowingly.

"I'd say a certain blonde girl gave him a happy," he said looking at his wife.

She rolled her eyes: "I should get a raise."

"Why?," both men asked unison.

"Well, it's a real challenge. On one hand I have my husband who tries to silence each of my complaints by distracting me sexually and now I also have a boss who can't stop grinning. That should be forbidden."

Angel laughed while Doyle gave his wife a look: "I'll keep my hands off you," he said with a serious voice.

"No," she replied quickly and then blushed furiously. "I mean ... well ... I...", she rolled her eyes and waved her hands through the air: "God you two are impossible. Men! I need some coffee, anyone else." When they nodded she took her purse and went for the coffee shop.

When she had closed the door behind her Angel looked at his friend: "She's definitely special," he grinned.

"You can say that," Doyle replied with a certain grin on his face.

"And you love her."

"You bet."

Angel nodded and walked over to his office, opening the door he turned to his friend again and smiled: "I know what you mean, my friend." Then he closed the door behind him.

Doyle grinned and began to whistle.

Part 22

"Do you have the tickets?," Buffy asked for third time while they were waiting in the line at the check-in desk at the airport.

Angel smiled at her: "Sure, calm down."

"I'm just so excited."

"Who would've guessed," he grinned.

"Oh you," she punched his arm playfully. "I've never been to New York before and I want to see the snow. Your mother said there was snow?"

"Yes," he chuckled and looked at Joyce who was standing behind them to wish them a good journey. She'd driven them to the airport and Steven had come with them. He held his mother's hand tightly and watched everything with huge eyes. The airport was crowded with all the people who wanted to spend their holidays away from home.

The young woman at the check-in desk smiled at the young couple before her: "Can I have your tickets please," she asked and gestured Angel to put the suitcases on the band beside her. "Two parts?," she asked again and he nodded. "Mr. Angel Finnegan and Miss Buffy Summers, right?" He nodded again. Buffy smiled at him nervously playing with a button on her coat. "Alright Mr. Finnegan, you have 5A and B, here are your boarding-cards," she handed them to him together with the tickets. "Please go to exit C 30. The plane will board in 15 minutes."

"Thank you," Angel said and took Buffy's hand to pull her away so the next people could be served.

"Mom, do you want to come with us or should we say good-bye now," Buffy asked and looked at her mother.

"I think we'll say good-bye now." She reached out with her free hand and pulled her daughter close: "Have a wonderful time. And call."

"I will," her daughter assured her. Then she pulled back and bowed down to look at her brother: "See you soon Stevie."

"I'll miss you," he said with watery eyes. "You promise to come back soon."

"Of course," she smiled at him. "Come on, don't cry, you're a big boy."

"I don't cry," he replied quickly while he was angrily weaping his eyes.

Buffy looked at her mother again: "See you in a few days."

She nodded: "Angel, have a happy Christmas and take good care of her."

He smiled: "Of course," and then grinned when he saw Buffy roll her eyes. With a last wave both turned and walked towards the boarding-gate.

*******

"I wonder what she'll look like," Sheila Finnegan said while looking at the knitting in her lap. She wanted to get it ready for Christmas. It was a little pullover for her soon-to-be expected grand-child.

"Who?," her husband looked up from his newspaper he'd been reading.

She sighed: "Daniel, you're not listening. I'm talking about the girl Angel's bringing with him for Christmas."

He removed his reading-glasses from his nose and studied her face for a moment, then he put them on again and looked back at his reading: "We'll see soon enough."

"Oh god," she threw her hands in the air and the knitting fell to the floor. "You're such a man."

"Thank you, darling," he teased her.

"That wasn't a compliment," she grumbled. "Daniel, he's bringing a girl home. He's never done that before. She comes all the way from Los Angeles with him, that means it's serious."

The word 'serious' caught his attention and he looked up again: "You think he's thinking about marrying her?"

"I don't know, but it's possible. And we don't know anything about her. He only said, 'by the way mom, we're coming together. I'm bringing my girlfriend, her name is Buffy.' And Georgie isn't very communicative either. I mean he spent almost three weeks with her recently and I bet it had to do with the girl, remember when he came to see us. He was so depressed."

"Maybe you should just wait until they're here." He looked at his watch: "They should land any minute and Gorgie will bring them directly."

"I only want to make sure she's good enough for him," Sheila Finnegan raised her chin. A typical attitude Daniel knew only too well.

"Oh god, woman. Angel's a grown up man. He's 28 years old, has his own agency and lives far away from us. I think he's able to find a girl on his own." Women, he thought, but wouldn't dare to say it aloud.

She gave him a deadly glare and began to knit again. He sighed inwardly and shaking his head he continued his reading.

*******

With Angel pushing the trolly that held their bags they walked towards the exit. The flight had been quiet and they'd landed in time. Through the glass doors Buffy could see a dark haired girl who was waving enthusiastically, her belly clearly showing that she would have a baby soon. She looked at Angel who was smiling at her. This had to be his sister. Buffy took a deep breath. She would meet his family, she hadn't been nervous about this before but now she felt butterflies in her stomach. As soon as they emerged from the doors she heard:

"Angel!"

They walked over to where his sister was standing and they both hugged. He smiled down at her: "You've grown again," he joked.

She rolled her eyes: "Don't say that. I'm feeling like a stuffed cow. And Gavin has the guts to tell me I'm beautiful." Then she turned her attention towards the blonde. Extending her hand she smiled: "Hi, I'm Georgie, Angel's sister."

Buffy took the offered hand and shook it: "And I'm Buffy."

"I know," the dark haired girl replied. "He's told me about you. And only the best." She grinned. "It's so good to finally meet you." She looked at her brother and seeing the way he was watching his girlfriend she smiled broadly. He was definitely very much in love and from the look in Buffy's eyes the feeling was mutual. "Come on, you two. My car's outside."

*

"Mom's very excited to meet your girlfriend," Georgie said, while she was driving towards her parents' house.

"I bet," he grinned and looked at Buffy who was biting her lower lip nervously. He took her hand and planted a kiss on it's back. "Don't worry. She'll like you."

"Yes, definitely," his sister confirmed him. The blonde gave her a grateful glance.

"Are Graham and Loretta already there?"

"No," Gorgie replied. "Gavin's getting them tonight after work. Their plane is due sometime around eight. These are my brother and his wife, they bring their two little kids." She explained while looking at Buffy through the rear-mirror. "They are little demons and I'm sure after spending Christmas with them I'm going to hate Gavin for doing this to me," she pointed at her protruding belly in mocked annyoance, but her eyes sparkled with laughter.

Buffy laughed: "I'm sure they aren't that bad. I have a little brother. He's five and I love him dearly."

"Maybe he's an angel, but Sam and Sheila are not. Sam is four and Sheila two. Nothing is safe from them, they would take everyhting out of drawers or bookshelves and threw it around. When Gavin and I visited my brother last year in Australia, Sam took all my lipsticks and coloured, as he called it, two of my favourite T-shirts with it." She groaned and looked to the traffic-lights: "Another red," she said. "Traffic in New York is something I really don't need."

"LA is pretty bad too," Angel said with a grin.

"I know," she replied. "I've been there, remember."

He rolled his eyes: "How could I ever forget that." He looked at Buffy: "She was a very annoying little sister, always wanted to stay with me."

"Hey", she protested grinning. "It was a good way to escape my overprotecting father."

Buffy rolled her eyes now: "Oh, I feel with you. I have one of them too. He almost freaked out when he heard about Angel and I."

Georgie laughed: "Nobody is good enough for their little girls. You should've heard the third degree mine gave Gavin when he asked for my hand. He's the old fashioned kind who does that. And my dad, although born and raised in New York, is very, very Irish catholic. He even had the guts to ask Gavin if he'd dishonoured me," she shook her head. "It was so awful, I wanted to disappear into a hole."

The blonde laughed again: "That could be right from Giles mouth," she said, looking at Angel. "Giles is my step-father," she told Georgie. "My mother and he married two years after my dad died. We love each other very much, but he can be annoying too."

Georgie nodded: "But we wouldn't trade them for the world, would we," she said with a sigh.

*

Angel's sister pulled the car into the driveway of a huge white house. It had big windows and a white door that was decorated with Christmas-ornaments. There were lights in every window and with the snow lying on the ground it was for Buffy as if she was looking at a winter-wonderland.

Georgie got out of the car and held the door open for her brother's girlfriend while Angel took care of the suitcases. Putting them down in front of the door he rang the bell. They heard footsteps and then an elderly woman opened the door. Mrs. Finnegan was a middle sized woman with grey hair and a warm smile. The most attracting part were her deep blue eyes, the same eyes Buffy had seen in Georgie's face.

"Angel," Sheila Finnegan exclaimed. She stepped forward and hugged him tightly. She was almost fragile compared to the tall, broad figure of her son. Angel was the first to pull back: "Mom, so good to see you. May I introduce, this is Buffy Summers, my girlfriend."

Buffy smiled nervously, she could see Angel's mother studying her closely. Then her lips turned up in the same warm smile she'd given her son and Buffy found herself surprisingly in a hug. "Welcome, Buffy. We're very happy to finally meet you."

Pulling back the blonde smiled at her: "Thank you for having me, Mrs. Finnegan."

The elder woman made a gesture with her hand: "Please call me Sheila." Then she turned a little bit: "And this is Daniel, my husband," she said towards the elder man who had appeared in the hall behind her. Buffy's eyes widened for a moment. Mr. Finnegan was the older edition of his son. They had the same statue, the same eyes, only his hair was gray now. And his lips twitched in the same half-smile she loved so much. "Welcome my son," he greeted Angel and then looked at Buffy: "Why didn't you tell us, she was a beauty," he joked. He patted his son on the shoulder and then extended a hand for the blonde.

"Mr. Finnegan," Buffy greeted him, shaking his hand.

"I thought, my wife already told you to call me Daniel. I may be old and have grown up children, but every time someone calls me Mr. Finnegan I think my father's standing behind me."

Everyone laughed and Sheila gestured them in. Kissing her daugher on the cheek she asked: "How do you feel, my love? Any more problems?"

"Problems?," Angel looked at his sister in alarm.

She made a gesture with her hand: "Nothing. Mom's exaggerating. I had some early waves of labour, but the doctor affirmed us it was nothing serious. Quite common actually in my state of pregnancy. I'm completely healthy and nothing will ruin our family Christmas."

"Now," Sheila looked at Buffy and her son. "Why don't I show you your room so you can unpack your things and fresh you up?" She gazed at Angel: "I've given you the large guest-room, with the king-size bed," she twinkled and he rolled his eyes.

Buffy blushed slightly and looked at Georgie who only grinned. "That's mom, you'll get used to it," she whispered in her ear."

Angel and his girlfriend followed Mrs. Finnegan up the stairs and she opened the door to a large room with a huge bed. "This is your room, Buffy. I hope you'll feel at home here too. Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to prepare some coffee and a snack. We'll have dinner a little bit later tonight as we're expecting our other son and his family from Australia."

Buffy nodded: "Yes, Georgie told us already."

"Fine," Sheila smiled. "I'll leave you to your own now. Come down whenever you're ready. We're very happy to have you here, both of you." Then she closed the door behind her.

Angel sighed and fell back on the bed. Buffy sat down beside him: "Tired?," she asked.

He shook his head and sat up again: "No, not really. Only a bit stiff. All this sitting."

"Yeah. Maybe we can go out later, for a while. You know walking through the snow."

He tipped her nose with his index-finger: "I get the feeling you're obsessed with snow," he grinned.

"It's not something I ever experienced. Well I did once," she admitted. "But I was only four and can barely remember. My father took me and my mom to Colorado that winter."

"I see. And I'd like to get out later." He studied her face for a while: "How are you feeling? Are you okay?"

"Of course," she replied without hesitation. "Why?"

He smiled: "My mother can be very, well, let's say overwhelming."

"No, I like her. And your father is very charming," she grinned mischieveously. "I certainly know now where you got your way with women."

"I beg your pardon," he reached out and pulled her to him. Laying back himself she came to lay on his chest, lips only inches apart. "What way with women?," he asked with a sparkle in his eyes.

"You know what I mean," she said and caught his lips in a kiss. "Is he a good kisser too?" she asked, grinning broadly.

"How would I know," he replied. "And dare you try to find that out," he warned her with a smile on his face.

"Afraid of the competition?"

"You," he threatened playfully. "You've earned some punishment," he said.

"Punishment," she asked innocently, "Oh, Angel ... no ... stop," she laughed when he began to tickle her. Both were laughing loudly.

Their laughter sounding downstairs and in the living-room father and daughter exchanged a knowing glance while Sheila began to hum over the boiling water in the kitchen.

Part 23

When Angel and Buffy came down again they found Georgie and her parents in the living-room. Mr. Finnegan rose from his chair when he saw the couple entering: "Ah, Buffy," he smiled. "The whole room lights up when you bless us with your appearance."

Buffy giggled, while Angel rolled his eyes and exchanged a glance with his sister. "Thank you," the blonde smiled back. Angel took her arm and led her to a sofa held in English Victorian style as was the whole room.

As soon as everyone had tea and a plate Sheila looked at Buffy: "Have you ever been in New York before?," she wanted to know.

The blonde shook her head: "No, never. And as I told Angel I've only seen snow once before."

"Oh, my dear," Sheila clasped her hands. "Then we should have a stroll in the park the next days. It's so wonderful. All the children and the ice-skaters. I'm sure Sam and Sheila, these are my grand-children, would love it too."

"I love ice-skating," Buffy exclaimed. "I used to do it when I was little. We were living near by a rink in LA. That was when my real father was still alive."

"I see," Daniel took another sandwich. "When did he die?"

"When I was ten," the blonde replied. "My mother married again two years after that and I love my step-father very much."

"So the little boy you talked about before is you half-brother?," Gorgie asked sipping at her tea.

"Yes. I didn't know about him until some weeks ago." She said but wanted to bite her tongue afterwards. Glancing nervously at Angel she found him smiling and relaxed instantly. There was nothing she had to hide after all.

"Really?," Sheila raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I ... I run away from home when I was sixteen," Buffy began looking at Angel again. When he took her hand tightly in his she continued: "It was a pretty bad time. I had a boyfriend then. When I was eighteen I ran away from him, he'd become rather ... brutal." She took a deep breath and entwined her fingers with his. "Anyway. He found me some weeks ago, kidnapped me and then I was found next to his dead body. I was accused for murder and that was how Angel and I have met."

Gorgie nodded only and smiled understandingly and Buffy realised that Angel had probably told her about their relationship, while Mr. and Mrs. Finnegan were listening attentively.

"Her step-father came to me," Angel continued smiling at his girlfriend. "He hired me to investigate in her case and then things happened. Fortunately we could find the real killer and clear her from any accusations." He led her hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

His parents exchanged a quick glance. "That must have been dreadful," Sheila's voice showed honest concern. "How do you feel now?"

"Better," Buffy replied.

"She was stabbed by the killer with a knife," Angel told his parents. "In her stomach. It was pretty bad. And I freaked. After the things that happened with Sarah I felt guilty for this. That's why I came to New York. But fortunately we found a way to deal with it." He again smiled at Buffy.

"He was pathetic," Georgie informed her brother's girlfriend.

"Thanks so much," Angel gave her a certain look. "We all really needed to hear this."

"You're very welcome," she shot back grinning, then she gazed back at Buffy: "But he really was. Only sitting around and looking all depressed. The last night before he went back to LA Gavin and I had a misunderstanding and so my husband and my brother got drunk." She laughed: "You should've seen them. Pathetic doesn't even begin to describe it."

"Don't listen to her. She enjoys making fun of me," her brother said, smiling at Buffy.

She shrugged: "Oh, I don't know, I have a feeling it sounds pretty authentic." She grinned at Georgie who patted her brother's knee.

"I like her Angel. She's got the right sort of humor for this family."

Sheila and Daniel exchanged another glance. "She's right," Mr. Finnegan said. "We're a special kind of family. You will see the whole amount when my other son and his family will be there and Gavin of course. You certainly won't forget these family days."

His wife hit him playfully on the arm: "Daniel. Stop that. You frighten her. Buffy, don't listen to him. We're not that bad. Only chaotic sometimes."

"Don't worry, Sheila," Buffy smiled. "I'm not so easily frightened. Actually I think your husband is very charming."

"You see," Daniel gave his wife a look.

"Never tell him that again," Mrs. Finnegan gazed at Buffy. "He already thinks he's irresistable. Fortunately I've managed to hold my sons with their feet on the ground."

Her husband grinned and looked at his son: "You better treat her good or I'll try to charm her away from you."

Angel grinned too: "Dad, you're devoted to mom. I know there could never be anyone else."

His father sighed: "You know me too well." He shrugged, looking at Buffy: "What can I say, Sheila is my life. She's always been." He took his wife's hand and kissed it.

*

"I like your family," Buffy said an hour later to Angel. After tea they had excused themselves for a while and went out for a walk. Their gloved hands entwined they walked through the snow-covered streets, their breath visible in the air while the day was slowly fading. With the growing darkness the lights that were at each house were more visible and the mood was definitely christmassy.

Angel wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him: "It's like a dream coming true. You're here with me and we spend Christmas together."

"I know how you feel," she replied, leaning her head against his shoulder. "I'm afraid I'm going to wake up and nothing of this has happened."

He leaned down and kissed her on the top of her head. "It feels very real to me. You smell real too. God, I love you," he said suddenly. "I'm so happy I want everyone to hear it." He let go of her and threw his hands in the air: "I LOVE BUFFY," he shouted and then laughed out loud. Buffy joined him in his laughter. Some other people who were near by turned and looked at them, but Buffy didn't care. Her heart almost burst with joy, seeing him like that. He was so relaxed and happy and she was too.

Wrapping her arms around his waist, she pressed herself tightly to him: "I love you too. So very much. I want to repeat it again and again, but I know even if I'd say it a thousand times it can never describe what I feel here," she pulled slightly back and laid one hand over her heart. When she looked up at Angel she could see he had tears in his eyes. She reached out to touch his cheek and he caught it to kiss it's palm.

"This will be the best Christmas ever," he whispered. "Because we're together."

"Yes," she breathed and then their lips met in a deep kiss. Afterwards they still held each other for a while, savouring the feeling of their warm bodies against each other sourrounded by the cold of the winter night.

*****

"She's lovely," Sheila sighed, looking at her husband and daughter. "And they're so in love. I've never seen Angel like that. He looks as if he's going to burst from happiness."

"I like her too," Georgie smiled. "They're so cute together. And she loves him very much. She's exactly what he needs. I really hope it'll work between the two." She looked at her father who had been quiet for a while and was staring into space. "Dad?," she slightly touched his arm.

He snapped back into reality: "Oh sorry, my love. But I think you're right. They share something very special. Besides she is very beautiful."

"Men," Sheila snorted. "She's a very nice girl, that's the most important thing. And she's devoted to him, she'll do all to make him happy."

"Uhh," Georgie suddenly made and put a hand on her belly.

Her parents gave her concerned glances but she shook her head: "No, everything alright. Williams-junior only kicked quite hard," she laughed. "I bet he's going to be a soccer-player."

Dan grinned: "I remember you've given your mother a hard time."

"Did I?," his daughter looked at her mother.

"You were a kicker too," Sheila confirmed. "But we were so glad to get you after two boys." She sighed.

"I wonder when they'll come back." her husband gazing towards the door.

*******

"Maybe we should go back," Buffy looked at her boyfriend. "What time is it?"

"A little bit after six. I think Graham and company will be there around nine, so you can take a bath." Kissing her cheek he added: "Personally I'd prefer a shower with you, but as we are in my parents home.." he trailed off sighing dramatically.

She laughed: "No, we can't do that. We're not exactly quiet and it'd be too embarrassing, but I'd love to take a bath."

"Okay, then let's go back." He gave her another kiss and then entwined his hand with her's. In silence they made their way back to his parents' home.

NEXT