By My Side

by Jill

Part 24

After a long bath Buffy joined Angel and his family in the living room. Sheila was moving back and forth between there and the kitchen, preparing dinner for all, when the door bell rang. Before anyone could get up Mrs. Finnegan ran for the door and her happy voice sounded into the living-room:

"Graham, Loretta," she exclaimed.

"Mom," Buffy heard a deep male voice. And then after a while they all appeared in the doorway of the living-room. Graham was completely different from his brother and father, he was not as tall, he was blonde and had his mother's blue eyes. On his arm he held a little boy who seemed sound asleep. His wife was a tall red-head, whoes curls fell almost to her waist and she was holding a little girl.

Graham greeted everyone with a wave: "Hi everyone. We'll see you soon, just tucking the little ones into the bed." With this he and his wife accompanied by Sheila disappeared again, while another head came through the door.

"Gavin," Angel greeted his brother-in-law with a smile.

"Hi," the other man greeted back. He walked over to Georgie and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips. She smiled at him: "Tired, love?"

He shook his head and gently touched her swollen stomach: "You're alright?." The concern was apparent in his voice.

She rolled her eyes: "Of course. I had only some spasms recently. Stop hovering over me."

Gaving sat himself beside his wife and then looked at Buffy: "Hi, I'm Gavin," he greeted her, reaching out his hand. "I've already heard a lot about you."

"I see," she smiled with a short glance at Angel. "I'm usually not that bad," she joked.

He laughed, a free, careless sort of laughter, Buffy liked immediately: "He never said something like that," he replied, looking at his brother-in-law as well. "I'm glad everything worked out okay. We had a really bad night, before he left. I had a headache for two days," he winced thinking about it. Gavin was about the same age as Angel, Buffy guessed, he was very tall, but not as athletic and had black hair. In contrast he had pale green eyes, a very interesting combination.

Georgie looked at her husband: "Did you bring the bags," she asked.

He nodded: "I did."

His wife glanced at Buffy: "We're all staying here for two nights," she explained. "Mom likes to get the whole family together over Christmas." Then she grinned at her father, who was reading in his newspaper: "And Dad too although he'd never admit it."

He looked up: "Sorry, what did you say," he asked innocently.

Georgie made a face at him, then gazed back to her brother and his girlfriend: "See what I mean." She patted her father's knee: "We love you nevertheless Dad."

He cleared his throat: "Hope they get the little ones soon into their beds. I'm starving and this smell coming from the kitchen gets my stomach into overdrive."

Everyone laughed when the others appeared again. Daniel stood up to hug his son and daughter-in-law. Georgie and Gavin did the same. Then Graham and Loretta embraced Angel and looked at Buffy.

Angel wrapped an arm around her shoulder: "Graham, Loretta, that's Buffy, my girlfriend."

His brother extended an arm and shook the blonde's hand while the women only nodded at each other. Buffy liked Loretta, who seemed a little bit shy. "The children were completely exhausted," Graham told the others. They were so excited on the plane and little-Sheila was admired by everyone. All the people around us saved their chocolates for her and Sam." He rolled his eyes: "We had to put it away after a while and then we had to get them changed. They looked as if they'd fallen right into it."

"Come on children," Sheila appeared in the door. "Dinner is ready and I know my husband is starving."

Everyone laughed and followed her to the table.

*

The dinner was a new experience for Buffy. It was new to see such a big family assembled together, everyone was joking and laughing and it was interesting to see Angel between them all. He was completely relaxed and his eyes were shining.

After dinner they stayed in the living-room for a while and Buffy felt very comfortable. Everyone treated her as if she'd been a part of the family forever. But they didn't last long as they were all tired and so they went to bed long before midnight.

*******

Buffy woke up the next morning and when she opened her eyes she blinked. She looked at Angel who was still sound asleep beside her and turned her head back.

Then she blinked again.

She was looking into two pairs of children's eyes.

"Hi," she smiled at them.

"Hi," Sam greeted her and bit his lower lip. His eyes were huge, while his sister was a little bit behind him and smiled. He turned to her: "That's Sheila. She's only two. I'm Sam." He raised his chin: "I'm four," his voice was full of pride.

Buffy bit his cheek not to laugh out loud. They were adorable. Sam would look exactly like his father someday, he had these wonderful blue eyes and blonde hair, while his sister had short red curls. She looked like a real angel, no wonder that everyone on the plane had instantly fallen in love with her.

"I see," Buffy replied, trying desperately to keep a straight face. "What are you doing here," she asked, her voice low not to wake Angel, but he already stirred beside her.

Sam tilted his head: "I checked the other rooms too, but I already knew the people there," he answered grinning. "You're new though."

"Am I?," the blonde grinned too. "And do you approve?"

While the little boy still seemed to think about it his sister jumped onto the bed and right into Buffy's arms. "Hi," she said, leaning her head against the blonde's chest.

"Hi," Buffy smiled at her and run an hand over the little girl's head. Inwardly she was glad that she and Angel had been too tired to make love the previous night and that, as a result, she was wearing her pyjamas. She wouldn't have liked to meet those two naked. She looked to her side and saw that Angel was awake by now and grinning. He reached out and touched Sheila's cheek: "Hi, little one. Last time I saw you, you were a baby." The girl grinned in response.

"Today is Christmas," Sam said from his spot. He hadn't moved so far and he certainly wouldn't crawl into the adult's arms. He was a big boy after all.

"That's right," Angel confirmed while he was sitting up.

The same moment there was a soft knock at the door and a red head was peeping in: "Sorry," Loretta appologized. When she saw everything was fine, she stepped in and put her hands at her hips. Sam had turned as soon as he had heard his mother's voice and grinned triumphantly at her, while Sheila didn't move from Buffy's lap. On the contrary, she snuggled even deeper into the blonde's arms.

"Sam," Loretta sighed. "What did I tell you about sneaking into other people's bedrooms?"

"Sorry," her son said, but looked anything but. "She's new," he said pointing at Buffy.

His mother glanced at the blonde and gave her an appologetic smile. "It's just this age," she said. "Sam, you cannot just go into other's bedrooms."

"It's okay," Buffy smiled at her. "I think I've made a new friend," she told the red-head and looked at Sheila, who had fallen asleep.

Loretta grinned: "Yeah. She seems to like you. Is it okay if I leave her with you for another while?"

When Buffy and Angel both nodded she turned to her son: "Alright, young man. Then let's go to the bathroom. Brush your teeth."

"Oh, mom," he rolled his eyes. "I'm not a baby. I can brush my teeth myself."

"Of course," she grinned and held out her hand for him. "But I have to go there anyhow."

He took the offered hand, but turned for a moment, looked again at Buffy and then at his uncle: "Maybe you could keep her for a while," he said with a nod at Sheila. "She's driving me crazy all the time."

The adults burst out laughing and Loretta pulled her son out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"What a morning," Angel smiled at his love. "I didn't even get a chance to kiss you." He leaned forward and their lips met. Sheila didn't move at all. He nodded towards the little girl: "It is a lovely picture. You with a child."

Buffy blushed slightly: "You think? I could never picture myself with a baby. I think my life was just too chaotic to even consider children." She kissed Angel again. "And I didn't have the right partner either."

He grinned and she blushed again: "Not that I'm trying to imply anything," she added quickly.

"I know," he gazed at her with a very strange look in his eyes. He thought about a certain something he'd brought with him to New York. Now he was sure it had been the right decision.

"Are you okay?," she asked concerned. She'd never seen him like that before.

He slightly shook his head to come out of his daze: "Sorry. Yes, I'm fine."

"You seemed far away," she told him.

"I was thinking about something," he replied mysteriously.

"Do you want to tell me," she asked.

He shook his head: "No, it's a surprise." He kissed her on the tip of her nose. "You have to wait until tonight. Now," he swung his legs of the edge of the bed. "I'm going to take a shower while you can baby-sit Sheila for another while. I'm sure Loretta will soon come and get her or my mother," he grinned. "She's crazy for the kids. She misses them all the time and always tries to persuade Graham to get a job in the states, preferably in New York."

"She's the perfect mother," Buffy sighed, leaning back and shifting Sheila in her arms. She murmured somehting but didn't wake up.

Angel smiled: "Yeah, I think she really is. I love her dearly."

"I know," she smiled back.

"I'll be back in some minutes," he said reaching for the door-knob. Then he suddenly sighed: "I love being with my family."

She tilted her head: "I'm sensing a but there."

He sighed again: "The shower will be so lonely," he grinned.

She grinned back: "You're impossible."

"Love you too," he said and closed the door behind him, while Buffy planted a kiss on the head of the little girl who was sleeping in her arms and for the first time, she thought about holding her own child like this.

Part 25

After breakfast the children were almost bouncing up the walls and so Sheila Finnegan proposed that the rest of the family should go for a stroll in the park that would be undoubtedly full of children now that the sun was shining brightly. She wanted to stay inside to prepare a family dinner. She was very secretive about it and Buffy wondered what was about to happen, but then Daniel pulled her aside and assured her with a wink it was only his wife's normal Christmas-behaviour.

So the young couples and the two children left the house to leave the parents. Mr. Finnegan said he was too old for this kind of fun and hadn't given in to any protests. All he wanted was to sit down quietly for a while with a good book. Gavin had tried to persuade his pregnant wife to stay as well, but she'd insisted to go out. So he finally had to give in, he couldn't deny anything to Georgie.

The park was - as Sheila Finnegan had foretold - crowded with children. The couples were walking hand in hand while little Sheila and Sam ran back and forth between them.

Graham turned around to look at his brother-in-law: "And you're sure you're really up to this," he asked nodding at his two kids and then at his sister's rounded belly.

"Actually I can hardly wait," he admitted gazing lovingly at his wife.

"Don't listen to him," Loretta ellbowed her husband playfully in his ribs. "He adores them. And he spoils them all the time. If I wouldn't be there they would be allowed to do everything they want."

Everyone laughed at the comment. The same moment a snowball hit Angel square in his face. He spat while he was laughing at the same time and turned his head to identify his 'attacker'. Sam was grinning from ear to ear. Exchanging a grin with Buffy Angel let go of her hand and ran after the little boy who had taken off squealing in delight. Angel caught him after some seconds, lifted him in the air and spun him around: "Gotcha," he laughed, while Sam seemed to enjoy the whole situation tremedously.

The other adults laughed. Buffy's heart flew over with joy to watch her boyfriend with Sam in his arms. Ever since Sheila had fallen asleep in her arms this morning she hadn't been able to bann the idea of a child from her mind. But it had not only been the child, Angel had always been there too. But what would he say, she could clearly remember his words that his job was too dangerous to have a family at the same time. Sure they were still young and there was no reason to hurry but all of a sudden she wanted all, a family and children. Had this come over night? Or had it always been there, burried in the depths of her soul, but too far away for her to dare thinking about it. Or was it the fact that Angel had come into her life? She came to the conclusion it was a bit of all. And another thing was clear in her mind, Angel was the only one she wanted to have a child with.

"Are you okay," his voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Oh sorry," she smiled at him.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders they followed the others who had started to walk again, Graham was now carrying his daughter. "You seemed far away," Angel said, kissing the top of her head.

"Just thinking," she replied with a sigh.

He frowned slightly: "So bad?"

She quickly shook her head: "No, not bad. Actually it was a happy thought. Something I could see somewhere in my future."

"Will you tell me," he asked.

"Maybe. Later," she answered. She didn't want to tell him in the park with people sourrounding them, hell she didn't want to tell him at all too afraid he'd run away. They'd never talked about children. "It is wonderful out here," she changed the subject.

He looked at her for a moment. Obvioulsy she didn't want to tell him and he let it go. For now. "It is," he replied. "It's very peaceful. I like the Christmas season here with my family, there are many good memories."

"I bet," she said softly. "Your family is wonderful."

He could hear the sad note in her voice and pulled her closer: "Yours is too. Your mother is a wonderful woman and Stephen is a great little boy. And even Giles seems to come to terms now."

She nodded: "Yes. But I didn't have siblings when I was young and I had a hard time when my dad, my real dad, died. We weren't that close," she crossed her fingers, "but I adored him deeply. And I hated my mother for marrying Giles, for a while I didn't talk to her... or him."

"I think it is only normal, Buffy," he kissed her again on her skalp. "Giles at your mother's side meant that there were no hopes your father would ever return. And although you knew he was dead it is hard to finally accept it."

She sighed: "You should be a psychologist, not a PI."

He laughed: "Sometimes it is very close. You have to be able to judge people very quickly in my job."

"Hmm," she leaned her head at his shoulder. "Like you did it with me."

"Exactly."

*

When they returned to the house it was already early afternoon and Buffy's eyes went wide when she saw the enormous tree that was now standing in the living-room.

"Wow," Sam exclaimed. Then he grinned at his father: "There's a lot of room for presents under it."

Graham stroked his son's head: "We'll see. Maybe you haven't been that nice this year." But Sam didn't care for his fathers playful threat. Instead he went over to his grand-father.

"Grandpa," he pulled at Daniel's arm. "Can I help to decorate it," he asked.

"Sure, my lad," Mr. Finnegan nodded.

"My father always takes care for the tree," Angel whispered in Buffy's ear. "It's tradition. Mom looks after the dinner and Dad after the rest."

Soon the whole family, except Sheila who stayed in her kitchen, was engaged in decorating the tree. Georgie and Graham had an argument about the question if there should be any artificial snow on it or not. In the end Georgie won and so the tree stayed as it was. Graham sighed loudly and Buffy could see that this hadn't been the first argument he'd lost.

Buffy enjoyed every minute of the day. They laughed a lot. Later that afternoon Loretta and Graham retreated to their room with their children. They were tired because of the jet-lag and wanted to rest for a while to be fit for the evening.

Angel and Buffy went to their room as well and did what they'd not done the last night, because they'd been too tired. When they fell exhausted in each other's arms she felt that this was the only place she ever wanted to be.

*

Dinner was peaceful that night. Daniel spoke a prayer this time and then he began to carve the goose, Sheila had made especially. It tasted delicious and everyone complimented her which made her eyes shine with pride, although Buffy had a feeling that she knew very well what a great cook she was.

Afterwards they went to the living-room where Daniel had already lit the tree. little-Sheila and Sam stood there with huge eyes, although the boy mainly stared at the wrapped gifts that were draped under it. As soon as they all were settled down, Daniel looked at his son's girlfriend: "It's tradition in our house," he explained, "to open one present tonight. The others will follow tomorrow."

Buffy wanted to answer, but Sam cut in: "I want to open the first present," he exlaimed excited."

Loretta rolled her eyes: "Who would have guessed." She exchanged a glance with her mother and Sheila nodded.

Looking at her grand-son, she pointed at a large one in the corner: "Why don't you open this," she suggested. "It's from your grand-dad and I."

Sam nodded enthusiatically, stormed over and tore the gift-wrap apart. "Oh wow," he said in awe and looked at his parents. "It's an electric railroad."

"Mom," Loretta shook her head. "That's too much. Dad. Thanks a lot."

"Seeing my son's face," Daniel joked, "I see not only Sam playing with it."

Graham blushed slightly, but laughed as well: "You know me too well, Dad. And thanks. This is great. I only hope we'll get to Australia."

One after one every member of the family got a present. Georgie and Gavin gave little-Sheila a stuffed animal and she clutched it tightly, loving it from the first moment. Loretta and Graham got a wonderful blanket Sheila had made herself, while they gave Georgie and Gavin clothes meant for the baby that would soon be born. The present Angel was to open was an old book his father had found. In the end only Buffy was left without a present and Sheila, who was sitting near to it, was searching under the tree for something with her name. But her son held her back.

"No, mom. I think I'll give her a present tonight," Angel said smiling the mysterious smile, Buffy'd seen that morning.

Georgie, Loretta and Sheila gasped, while Buffy watched with wide eyes when he suddenly slipped from the couch he and Buffy were sitting on and kneeled down in front of her, holding her hand tightly: "Buffy," he began. "This might come as a shock to you and maybe you'll think I'm too forward. I know our relationship is still new and I also know that getting enganged might be old-fashioned. But I'm very sure of this. Actually there aren't many things in my life I'm so sure of." He took a deep breath, while Buffy felt tears welling up in her eyes. From the corner of her eye she could see the other adults looking at them in awe. "Buffy, I love you vey much." He pulled a small velvety box from his pocket and held it in front of her. "Will you marry me?"

She opened her mouth to answer, when suddenly a cry disturbed the romantic moment.

"Ooooooh."

The box almost slipped from Angel's hand while everyone turned towards Georgie, who was holding a hand on her stomach, the other at her back. Grimacing she bit her lower lip: "Sorry," she groaned. "But this baby doesn't seem to be romantic at all." She looked at the concerned gaze of her husband: "It does want to come out. Now."

Gavin paled immediately and stared at his wife: "B-But it's too early," he stammered. "It's only due in February."

Georgie's pretty face contorted again in pain: "Maybe, but this isn't a false alarm, I assure youuuuu, oh," she breathed, grabbing Gavin's hand, while Daniel was already dialing for an ambulance.

Part 26

The waiting-room in the hospital was crowded with members of the Finnegan-family and Buffy. Only Loretta had stayed at the house because someone had to stay with the children.

Daniel and Sheila sat on two chairs holding hands and exchanging glances from time to time, while Graham sat on his own, obviously deep in thoughts. He seemed the one less nervous. Well, it wasn't so surprising, he'd been in the same situation twice. Gavin on the other hand was pacing the room.

Buffy didn't look at him anymore, it made her mind spin. She snuggled deeper into Angel's embrace, who held her in his lap. She could feel the little box inside his pocket pressing against her and smiled inwardly. His proposal had been so sweet and wonderful and she hadn't been given the oportunity to answer it yet. And it didn't seem appropriate at the moment to talk about it.

They all looked up when the doctor entered the room, Gavin rushed over to him, his expression tense: "How is she?," he demanded.

"Under the circumstances she's doing alright," the doctor began, but everyone could feel it wasn't all. Something was wrong. "As you already know she's only due in February, but the baby wants to be born. Obviously the labours of your wife aren't strong enough and the baby's heart is weak, so we're preparing her for a caesarean section at the moment." Seeing the questioning gazes he added: "An operation. We're going to deliver the baby by operation. I'm not sure it would stand a normal birth. You're the father?," he asked Gavin who nodded. "Then come with me. You can see her for a minute before the anesthetics will work." With this the doctor took Gavin's arm and pulled him away.

"What an evening," Graham said, running his hands through his hair.

Daniel nodded: "You can say that son. But she's strong, she's always been. It'll be alright." Nobody could say if he wanted to convince the others or himself.

They were all afraid and Buffy could feel Angel's body trembling slightly. She reached out and gently stroked his cheek. His eyes immediately locked with her's and she could see the fear in them. Fear he saw reflected in her eyes. She knew his sister only for a short time, but loved her already. Georgie with her wonderful blue eyes, her humor, her wit, no, Buffy refused to think that something would happen to her or the baby. But the doctor had said that the baby's heartbeat was weak. So everything was possible. She tightened her embrace around her lover's neck and he burried his head in her hair. And beside all the fear for his sister that feeling of closeness that only two lovers could share gave them strength and hope.

"My baby," Sheila whispered suddenly and tears were running down her cheeks. "Daniel," her desperate gaze was on her husband. "What if something happens to her?"

He was about to answer when Gavin came back, his face pale and still tense. "They started the operation now. Georgie wants me to tell you that you souldn't worry," he smiled sadly. "She's always trying to be strong for me. But she's scared, I could feel it." Tears were also tickling his cheeks: "God, she's so scared, I've never seen her like that. Oh god." He turned towards the wall and leaned his forehead against it. They could see his body was shaking with silent sobs, but nobody went to touch him, all feeling he wouldn't want it.

Angel pulled Buffy closer. What was going on in Gavin's head? He must be sick with worry. Was that really worth it? Was the wish for a family worth the risk of loosing someone beloved. The mere thought of loosing his beloved was so dreadful, he lost his breath for a moment. Angel almost felt relief that Buffy hadn't been given the oportunity to answer his proposal and at the moment he wasn't even sure which answer he wanted to hear. Could he risk it for her to have his baby and endagering her life. A part of him knew it was an irrational fear. Women were giving birth to babies each day and it was nothing to worry about, but tonight his sister and her baby fought for their life. He loved Georgie but this feeling was nothing compared to the deep love he felt for Buffy. The thought she could be the one in there almost drove him over the edge. He could feel his body begin to tremble again and immediately her embrace tightened. He knew, she wanted to give him strength and that made him love her even more.

"Anyone coffee?," Graham stood up and looked around. When everyone shook their heads in the negative, he sunk down again. "Damn," he hissed. "This is even worse than waiting for my own kids. Loretta's deliveries were so quick, I didn't have time to worry."

"Thanks, I really needed to hear that," Gavin shouted and glared at him with angry eyes. Immediately he seemed to regret his outburst and ran one of his shaking hands through his hair: "I'm sorry."

His brother-in-law gave him a smile: "No problem, my friend. I understand perfectly. She's my sister, remember?"

Gavin nodded and then found a chair for himself. "What am I going to do if anything happens to her or the baby. She wants that child so much, I don't know if she could stand it..." his voice broke.

Sheila reached out and touched his knee: "Confidence, my boy," she said. Forgotten were her own doubts, her strength was needed now and that was more important than nursing her own fear. Buffy's respect for her grew beyond imagination. "She's my daughter after all and that baby is my grand-son. We Burns are strong," she glanced at her husband, "and the Finnegans are as well. We're the best that can come from an Irish-Scottish heritage." She looked him deeply in the eye: "I know, they'll be alright. You have to believe it." She looked at the ceiling for a moment and then back to her son-in-law: "God can hear us and he likes his children to be confident."

Gavin nodded at her words and the hope rose in him again. This was an every day surgery, why should it be a problem with Georgie.

They sat in silence for the rest of the time but Sheila's words had eased their worries. Not that all of them believed in God or if they did believed he would really help. But the power in her words was almost palpable and made everyone feel better.

Hearing footsteps in the hall they all jumped up.

The doctor appeared in the door again. And he was smiling. Looking at Gavin he said: "You have a healthy son, Sir. He's tiny but alright. We'll keep him in an incubator for a while, but I don't expect any problems. He's a bit more than four pounds."

"A-And m-my wife," Gavin dared to ask.

"She's asleep, but fine. There's no need to worry. Do you want to see the baby?"

Daniel and Sheila were hugging each other, while Graham patted his brother-in-law's shoulder. Angel pulled Buffy close to him and kissed her tenderly on her forehead. Both had tears in their eyes.

"Yes," Gavin answered the doctor's question, his voice still a bit shaky.

"Then follow me," he looked at the other people in the room: "You can all come."

They followed the doctor to a big glass window, where he stopped and knocked on it. A curtain was pulled aside and gave view to the nursery for the early-born. About ten babies were lying there in incubators, some of them so tiny you couldn't believe they would survive. A friendly nurse looked at them and the doctor said through a microphone: "Could you show us the little boy that was just delivered."

She nodded with a smile and pushed one of the incubators towards the window. Gavin and Georgie's son was red from the exhaustion and he was tiny, but he looked very healthy, in fact he was crying loudly. "He's hungry again," they could hear the nurse's voice from inside. "He's already eaten, but he seems to be hungry all the time." She grinned: "It's a very good sign."

Buffy looked over to Gavin and saw tears running down his face. One of his hands lay on the glass and his fingers were moving as if he was touching his tiny baby with them. "Daniel," he breathed. He and Georgie had obviously already chosen a name. He turned to gaze at his family: "He'll be Daniel," he said and his father-in-law began to smile. "We decided just before she went in for surgery." He didn't say anything else but they could all hear the unspoken words, that they had chosen a name then in case that Georgie wouldn't survive. He turned to the doctor, who was still standing beside them: "Can I see my wife?"

The doctor nodded and Gavin followed him down the hall, while the others stayed in front of the window. The nurse smiled: "I will shut the curtains now," she said. "The little ones need their rest." And with this the baby was withdrawn from their view.

"I'm going to have some coffee now," Graham said looking at his parents. They nodded in agreement and Sheila turned towards her son and his girlfriend: "What about you two?"

They looked at each other and Angel replied: "We're staying here for a moment."

"Alright," Sheila said and followed her husband and son.

"What a night," Buffy whispered, embracing her lover's waist and leaning her head at his chest.

He laid his head on top of hers: "Yeah," he whispered back.

"I still owe you an answer," she said against his chest, not looking up. He tensed immediately and she pulled back to look at him. "What is the matter?"

He shook his head: "I thought a lot while we were waiting in there," he pointed towards the waiting-room. "I was thinking if it's worth the risk of your life. The dreams of having children and a family, I mean."

She nodded in understanding, she could clearly remember him trembling in her arms: "And? Do you regret your proposal?"

"If that had been you, I would have gone mad," he admitted. "I love you so much, the mere thought of something happening to you is more than I can stand. But then I saw little-Daniel there. And the thought of you and I having a baby of our own, someday. It's overwhelming. So the answer is no, I don't regret it. I want to marry you, I want a family with you. Life is taking risks I think, without it we would stop living." He suddenly smiled: "But you still haven't given me your answer."

She smiled as well: "The answer," she sighed. "Angel you're the most wonderful man I've ever met and I feel so blessed that you want to have me as your wife. Of course the answer is yes. Yes, I want to marry you. Yes, I want your children. I couldn't see me having anyone elses."

He looked deeply into her eyes for a moment and then lowered his head to kiss her gently, lovingly. Raising his head again he smiled: "I love you, my fiancée." With this he reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring. He slipped it on her finger and then kissed it. "I love you very much."

"I love you too," she replied. "Happy Christmas, Angel."

Part 27

Buffy was the first to spot Cordelia who was the one to get them from the airport. It was two days after Christmas and they had been flying back to LA.

The morning after Christmas they had all visited Georgie in the hospital. She looked exhausted but very happy as did Gavin. The doctor even allowed little-Daniel to be brought to his mother for a short while. He seemed quite healthy although he was of course premature. He was to spend two more weeks in the hospital, but there was no danger for him, it was just to be on the safe side.

The whole family had tried to convince Angel and Buffy to stay longer, but Angel thought it wasn't right for him to leave the agency to Cordy and Doyle once more. There was work waiting for them. Doyle had called already and told him that they had a new case. A teenager boy was missing from his home and the parents had hired the agency to find him.

Buffy and Angel had spent the afternoon of their last day in New York with shopping, well actually Buffy had wanted to do that and her fiancée had of course given in. Who was he to deny her a wish. Especially after he had been given his heart's desire with her accepting his proposal. That this was her heart's wish too wasn't really important. Ever since she'd said yes Angel was on cloud no. nine.

"Hi Cordy," Buffy greeted the brunette who smiled at them. The blonde couldn't put her finger on it but there was something different with her friend. There was a certain gloom in her eyes that hadn't been there when they left.

"Buffy, Angel," she greeted back and hugged the couple. "How was New York? Cold I guess," she laughed.

"It was wonderful," Buffy said dreamily. "Unbelievable actually," she added with a glance at her fiancée.

Cordelia looked back and forth between the two of them and tilted her head: "Did something happen in New York?"

"My sister had her baby," Angel replied. "It was earlier than expected. It's a boy and his name is Daniel"

"Oh god," the brunette's eyes were wide. "I have to call her later."

"She's still at the hospital though," Buffy told her. "They had to do an operation to get the baby. But both are well."

"I see. Anything else?," Cordy asked while she opened the trunk of her car.

"Could it be that you're a little bit nosy?," Angel teased while he was loading the bags into the car.

"Me? No way!"

"Yes way," Buffy grinned. "But I don't mind." She looked at Angel with an unspoken question in her eyes. When she saw him nod with a smile she extended her left hand and held it in front of Cordy's face.

"What?," the brunette said confused and then her eyes almost popped out of her head: "Almighty god," she breathed. "Is this what I think it is."

"Yes. Angel asked me to marry him," Buffy beamed. "God it was so romantic, but before I could answer his question his sister went into labour. So my answer came with a bit of delay."

Wrapping an arm around her waist Angel looked at Cordelia: "Now, Mrs. Doyle. Won't you say anything?"

"What?," she snapped out of her daze. "Oh sorry. Congratulations," she smiled at them. "It's just ... well, I guess it wasn't really that unexpected. The way you almost eat her up with your eyes. I've got some news as well."

Bingo, Buffy thought. This was the reason for the change she had noticed.

"I'm pregnant," Cordelia blurted out and blushed a little bit. "I just found out. Doyle is almost out of his mind. The last days he called almost everyone he knows to tell them the news," she smiled.

"God, Cordy, that is great," the blonde hugged her friend tightly. "It seems Christmas was full of surprises for all of us."

"Congratulations," Angel said and hugged her as well. "When will the baby come?"

"Seven months exactly," she replied and got behind the wheel. "I can't believe that I'm going to be a mother. I don't even know how to fix a diaper," she sighed. "But I guess I'm going to learn that soon."

"I guess," Buffy grinned.

"Do your parents know about the engagement," Cordy changed the subject.

"No," Angel replied. "But we're going to tell them now. Could you drive us to Buffy's house, please. My car is still there. I'll join you later at the agency. And now, tell me about the new case."

*******

When Cordelia pulled her car up in front of the Giles' residence she had filled Angel in all the details about the missing boy. He was 12 and after some shouting with his father he'd run away the day before Christmas. The parents were very concerned about him. Doyle had already checked several possiblities but no luck so far.

Angel got the bags from Cordelia's car and put his part into his car. Saying good bye to Cordelia the couple made their way to the house. Before Buffy could knock, the door was opened and Joyce hugged her daughter: "Buffy, welcome back." Pulling back she looked at Angel: "And you too, of course. Come in you both. You have to tell us everything about New York." She led them to the living-room where Giles was sitting and drinking a cup of tea.

When he saw them coming in he got up to hug his step-daughter and then he extended a hand for Angel. The two men looked at each other for a moment before Giles turned his gaze to Buffy: "How was your Christmas?"

"Great," she replied without hesitation. She looked around: "Where's Steven."

"With his friend Floyd. They wanted to play with their new Christmas presents," Joyce chuckled. "He was up at five in the morning, because he wanted to get there."

"I see," Buffy grinned. "Yeah, well New York was great. Angel got a new nephew," she looked at her fiancée.

"Really," her mother looked surprised. "But I thought you told me the baby was only due in February."

Angel shrugged: "Yeah, well he decided he wanted to be early. It was pretty serious for a while but now my sister and the baby are fine."

"That's wonderful," Joyce smiled. "So you had an exciting Christmas."

"Yeah, you can say that," Buffy said. Looking at Angel she took his hand and turned back to her parents. "There is something else. Mom, Giles. Angel has asked me to marry him and ... I said yes." Biting her lower lip she waited for her parents reaction while Angel squeezed her hand reassuringly. When they didn't say anything she added: "We really love each other and I'm very, very happy about this."

"Oh honey," her mother said with tears in her eyes. "That's wonderful." She stepped to her daughter and embraced her. "I am very happy for you," she whispered in her ear.

Giles watched the whole scene in front of him. He saw his wife hugging her daughter. He saw Angel, who gazed at Buffy with a look that was a mixture of love and devotion, a look every father would wish to see in his future-son-in law and he saw his daughter. The moment she had entered the house he had realized there was something different in her. She was glowing. And now he knew the reason. How could he not approove then? When he saw his wife pull back he took Buffy's hand: "Congratulations," he said.

"You really mean that," she asked.

"Yes," he turned to her fiancée. "And congratulations to you. I can see you love her and doubtless she loves you. I have never seen her like this. Never so happy. I just hope you'll be successful in keeping that look on her face."

"I'll try my very best," Angel answered and Giles could see he really meant it. How could he ever have been against that, he wondered now.

"Do you have a date already?," Joyce wanted to know.

"No, mom, we thought we ask you first. And then check it with Angel's family. But we want it soon, because Angel's brother, Graham, who lives in Australia is in the States. And they will stay until the tenth of January. And having seen this family I wouldn't want to marry without all of them present. They are all very close you know."

"Oh god," Joyce's eyes went wide. "So early. Buffy do you know how much preparation a wedding needs." She was already planning in her head.

"Mom, I asked Cordy to help too and I'm sure Willow will assist as well. I think we'll manage it," Buffy grinned and exchanged a glance with her fiancée who was winking at her.

"Come on," Joyce grabbed her daughter's hand. "We'll go upstairs. I have several catalogues there. First of all we have to get you a dress and then you have to decide on your bridesmaids and their dresses...." he voice faded while she and Buffy disappeared upstairs.

"Now Angel," Giles turned to his future son-in-law. "Maybe we should talk about how you plan to live with Buffy after you both are married." He sat down again while Angel groaned inwardly. There were certain parts of this getting-married-thing he wasn't looking forward to.

Part 28

"So we are all invited at Buffy's house for the New Year?," Cordelia asked Angel while she was staring at the computer screen in front of her. "Who will be there?"

"Yes to the first question and I'm not sure to the second. Willow I guess and some more of Buffy's friends, she said something about Xander and his girlfriend." Angel came out of his office and put a file on the brunette's desk.

She rolled her eyes: "Xander. Oh great! So the old gang will be there," she sighed which made her husband join them as well.

"Are you okay," he put a concerned hand on her arm.

"Oh god Doyle," she groaned and swatted his arm away. "Stop that! If you'll be like this for the rest of my pregnancy I run away after some weeks. I'm perfectly well, I'm pregnant. Hundreds of women do have babys every day. Get that in your thick skull or get lost."

He shot her another look, then shook his head and gazed at his friend: "And then you'll have the wedding on the sixth. Man, you're really in a hurry." He elbowed Angel playfully in the ribs: "Afraid that she'll realise who her future husband really is and run away."

"Ha.Ha," Angel made. "Very funny. By the way, talking about the date. Don't forget about your tuxedo."

Doyle rolled his eyes: "That's really a punishment. Wearing a tux. You see how much I care for you!"

"If it was for him, he'd come in his usual ... well, call it outfit if you must. One thing is true, love is really blind," Cordelia gave her husband a look.

"You hurt my feelings, 'Delia darlin'," Doyle said in mocked hurt. "My clothes are perfectly alright for me."

"Yes, of course. Taste certainly wasn't on the agenda when your genes were mixed."

"Ah, darlin', but I found you and that prooves my taste, doesn't it?"

She studied him for a while: "You've got a point, but that's the only wise choice you ever made regarding taste."

Angel shook his head and rolled his eyes: "I really thought when you two married this would stop. Wishful thinking I guess. Now back to our case. It drives me crazy that we don't even have a trace of the boy..."

******

"God, this is so exciting," Willow exclaimed for the fifth time. She, Anya and Buffy were sitting in Buffy's room and talking about the wedding.

"It is," Buffy nodded. "His proposal was soooo romantic. I had tears in my eyes when he kneeled down in front of his whole family." A happy smile played around her mouth.

"Xander's never going to ask me," Anya sighed. "In the end I'll have to do it."

"Maybe our wedding will get him into the right mood," the blonde tilted her head. "He's such a boy. While Angel on the other side," she sighed loudly.

"Hey, Xander is fine for me. Well, I didn't see Angel so far, but I'm sure I wouldn't exchange them."

"You'd never get my fiancée," Buffy threatened playfully.

"I cannot believe we all fly to New York for the wedding," Willow grinned. "I've never been there before."

"It was the only solution for the problem. Mom and Giles would have liked us to marry here, but Georgie and Gavin cannot travel with their little son and I wouldn't want Angel to marry without parts of his family. They're so sweet." The blonde stuffed another pillow behind her back. "Sheila, Angel's mom, was so excited. And now my mom will fly to New York the day after New York and they're going to plan the wedding together."

"What about Steven?," Anya wanted to know.

"He'll go with mom. Loretta, Angel's sister-in-law has two little kids too and she'll take care of him. But what really makes me nervous is the wedding ceremony. Because I didn't really say what I wanted, Sheila insisted on a traditional Irish catholic weddin, because it would be so important for her husband." She paused for a moment and then continued. "In a big church. I have no idea how many guests are coming, but Sheila and Daniel, Angel's father, seem to have big families and they'll all come."

"Great," Willow said happily. "A dream wedding."

"Yes and everyting done in two weeks. Mom was freaking out, but for Sheila this was no problem at all." It seemed as if nothing could freak Angel's mother.

"And then we meet tomorrow to see for the dresses," Anya asked.

"Yes. At the dressmaker. Cordy will be there too," Buffy sighed happily. "This is like a dream come true." She looked at her watch: "I don't want to push you out, but I've to get ready, Angel will get me in an hour. He takes me out for dinner."

*******

The moment she opened the door, Buffy sensed something was wrong with her fiancée, he was barely looking at her, his mind seemed somewhere else. He didn't even compliment on her dress which she had bought the day before especially and she knew it fitted her perfectly.

She gave him a concerned look when he shook hands with Giles and Joyce and led her to his car. The moment they sat inside, he turned to look at her: "Buffy, would you mind if we skip the dinner and just go to my apartment. I know I've promised you a fancy restaurant, but." He stopped and closed his eyes.

"No of course not, but is something wrong?," she asked alarmed. She'd never seen him like that before. So ... helpless. Had it something to do with their wedding? Did he maybe regret his decision? No, that couldn't be. He'd been so excited about it.

"Not now," he shook his head. With this he started the car and they drove to his apartment in silence. When they were upstairs he gestured her to sit down on the sofa while he got drinks for them. Then he took a spot beside her. He emptied his Whiskey with one gulp and that frightened her even more, because usually he barely drank at all.

She put a hand on his knee and looked at him: "Angel, what is the matter? Please talk to me, you frighten me!"

"I'm sorry," he said after a while, but he still didn't look at her. "I had a rough day at the office." Without a warning he wrapped on arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. Then the other arm encircled her as well and he held her so tight she could hardly breathe. Being so close to him she could feel shivers running through his body. After a moment he released her and leaned back. With closed eyes he began to talk: "I didn't mean to frighten you. You remember that case we're on. The boy that ran away?"

"Yes," she said taking his hand in her's.

"We had no clue where he was. Doyle checked every source, every spot, but nothing." He pressed his lips together for a moment as if he was in pain. Buffy squeezed his hand to assure him of her understanding and support. "His parents were almost going mad with worry. Especially because they had a misunderstanding before he disappeared and they blamed themselfes for his actions. This afternoon we found him." He paused as if it was too hard to talk. When he finally continued his voice was hoarse and cracking: "He ... he was dead."

Buffy drew in a sharp breath and moved closer to him, leaning her head at his shoulder.

"But that wasn't all," Angel went on. "We called the police as soon as we found him. The medical examiner said that he has been abused. And from the marks on his hand and feet he'd been a captive for some days." He took a deep breath: "It seems that someone took him from the streets, held him captive and abused him for days ... days, think about it. A little boy, only 12 and he must have been so scared."

Buffy could see he was fighting with the tears that threatened to fall. "And then I had to go and tell his parents. His mother broke down. His father seemed to hold himself, but I could see his eyes. There's nothing left for that man anymore. It was their only child. It's bad enough he's dead, but to know he died like this...." Suddenly he turned around to face her: "What kind of world is this?," he asked searching her eyes with a look in his', she'd never seen there before. "How can we honestly think about getting married and having children, when there are people who do something like this?" He leaned back again and closed his eyes.

Buffy was speechless, while she was trying to digest what she'd just heard. What a horrible experience, it was even beyond her imagination and she'd had it pretty rough and seen a lot of things in her 'wild' years. Stroking his arm she said: "I'm so sorry. It must have been awful."

He nodded: "It was. You always read about stuff like that, but you never really think it'll happen around you." He faced her again: "I'm sorry too. For behaving like this. You were looking forward to a nice evening..."

"Stop it," she said, her voice sharper than she intended. "Sorry," she appologized immediately. "I didn't want to sound angry. But don't do this. We're together. We share things. The good ones and the bad ones too. Whom should you talk to if not me? And I want to hear these things, I mean, I'd prefer not to hear them, but I want you to come and tell me everything. I want to be a part of you."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head: "This is just. I've honestly never seen someting so horrible in my life. Not personally that is. And then I thought that we're going to marry and if we have children ..."

"No, don't say if," she protested. "We will have children. I know you feel as if there's no hope in this world at the moment, but if we give up, if we give in to our grief and fears then we are defeated." She touched his cheek and forced him to look into her eye: "You teached me that. That we have to face our nightmares and not run away. And you were right. In marrying and having children we show that we have still hope that there's a chance for this world." She leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth. He stayed passive for a moment but then kissed her back and deepened the kiss after a while.

When they came up for air, their foreheads still touching, his lips curved into a slight smile: "Did I ever tell you how much I love you," he asked.

"Hmm," she made. "But you can tell me as often as you want. I never get tired of hearing this. Angel, there's so much beauty in this world, just think about Georgie and little-Daniel. It's like a miracle. I want that too and I want it with you."

"God, what did I do to earn you?," he said in amazement.

"Well, maybe you always ate your breakfast," she joked to lighten the mood.

"You think so, hmmm?," he smiled now. There was still sadness in his eyes, but the despair was gone.

She gently traced the lines of his lips with her fingers: "I'm hungry," she whispered.

"Are you?," he grinned mischieveously.

"Mmmm," she made. "Very," her voice was husky and full of passion now.

"I see, that sort of hunger," he teased. "Well, let's see what we can do about that?." With this he stood up, scoped her in his arms and quickly carried her to his bedroom. It was true, there was always hope in this world.

Part 29

Buffy and Joyce were busy decorating the house and garden for their New Year's party while Giles had taken Steven to the zoo in LA. The little boy couldn't get enough of all the animals and this way he was out of the house for the preparations. Cordelia had joined them at noon and now the three women were having a break to drink a cup of coffee.

"How is Doyle," Buffy asked over sipping from her cup.

"Better," the brunette answered. "He had a nightmare yesterday. They're both taking it pretty heavy."

"It's pretty heavy stuff," Joyce said. "After Buffy told me about it I didn't let Steven out of my sight again. You always read about things like these but now it's as if it has entered our house."

"Yeah. I was meant to accompany them, but due to a new client I had to stay at the office and now I'm glad. The story is scary enough." Cordelia shuddered. She and Buffy had talked about the abused boy the day after Angel had told his fiancée. Doyle had been in a smilar mood that night. And as both men were pretty much used to see horrible things you could only imagine what had happened to this child to make them behave like this.

"Buffy told me you're expecting a baby," Joyce changed the subject.

"Yeah," Cordelia beamed. "And Doyle's hoovering over me all the time."

Mrs. Giles laughed: "That's the way it goes. When I was pregnant first Buffy's father and then Rupert treated me like precious porcellain. But you shouldn't complain, just use it shamelessly. Let him do everything, he'll be cured in no time."

"Good idea," the brunette grinned. "So who's coming tonight?"

"Well you, Doyle, Angel, Willow and Oz, Xander and Anya, yeah, that's pretty much the lot," Buffy poured herself some more coffee.

"Xander," Cordelia groaned. "I mean I do call him from time to time and he calls me, but a whole evening with Xander Harris." She sighed dramatically.

"Come on, he isn't that bad," Joyce said. "He was quite annoying when he was a teenage boy, but he's changed a lot and his relationship with Anya seems to work. They're together for four years now."

"Hmmm," the brunette made. "I just cannot see him as an adult. Whenever we phone our talks are about highschool and we joke a little bit."

"Come on girls, let's do the rest of the work, and then we have some lunch." Joyce got up and went into the kitchen.

"Alright," Buffy looked at Cordelia. "Let's get it done. And tonight we celebrate."

The brunette nodded and followed the blonde into the garden.

*******

Doyle arrived at the Giles' house at seven and when he knocked the door was opened in the split of a second: "A... oh, Doyle," Buffy greeted him.

"Nice welcome," he joked regarding her diappointed gaze.

"Sorry," she smiled sheepishly. "I was just hoping...."

He raised a hand: "No need to explain. Angel's coming later. He's still on a case, somewhere in Hollywood."

"Hollywood?," his wife stepped into the hallway. "Someone famous."

He sighed and then embraced her: "I don't know. Hi darlin', how you're doin'. I mean both of you?"

"Fine," she said with a sigh. "Why did I even ask you. You wouldn't recognise a famous actor when he or her would stand right in front of you."

When he saw Giles come into the hallway Doyle pulled back and extended a hand: "Good evening, Mr. Giles," he said to Buffy's step-father. "Thanks for the invitation."

"No need, we're very happy to have you here," he said with a straight face, although Buffy knew how much he hated parties at his house. He endured it for her sake and she loved him for it.

"So what's this case that keeps Angel away from us," Buffy asked with concern in her voice. She didn't want him to have another horrible experience or worse.

"Oh, some actress," Doyle made a gesture with his hand. "I think she's just a little bit excentric. She thinks someone's stalking her. She called us yesterday after all the articles in the newspapers about the boy." His face became serious and a sad look was in his eyes. His wife laid a sympathetic hand on his arms. He looked up and gave her a slight smile. "The phone is ringing all the time," he continued. "We're famous now." It was obvious that he wasn't happy about it.

"Oh hello, Mr. Doyle," Joyce smiled at him when she came down the stairs. "Sorry I wasn't there when you came in, but I just put Steven into his bed. He was very good today because I promised him to wake him for the fireworks."

"Mrs. Giles, good to see you." Doyle greeted back.

"Why don't you go in the garden with Cordelia and Doyle," she looked at her husband, while Buffy and take care of the food. "The rest of our guests is out there already," she said to Angel's partner.

Giles nodded and the couple followed him to the back door.

At her mother's questioning gaze, Buffy said: "Angel's stil busy with a case. Doyle says he'll join us later," she sighed.

Her mother laid an arm around her shoulder: "Come on, honey. We're taking care of the food and then he'll be there in no time."

********

Angel groaned when he climbed out of his car later that evening. His body was aching everywhere. When he'd gone to the actress' house he thought she was just some excentric woman who wanted to make the aquaintance of a private investigator who'd been mentioned in a newspaper article. But soon he had to realise that she was really stalked.

The stalker was a middle aged man, who had already sent letters and flowers to the actress. And this night he'd decided to make an appearance. The result was a fight between the two men with bare hands and althoug he'd won and the stalker was safe behind bars by now Angel didn't feel much like celebrating. Tomorrow his body would be black and blue. The guy had had a pretty hard punch.

Looking at his watch he realised it was almost ten and he had promised to be there at eight. But after the fight he had to go home first to take a shower and change clothes. The shirt he'd been wearing he'd to throw away. The stalker had torn it into pieces.

Sighing he made his way to the door and rang the bell. After a while it opened and Buffy stood there. Smiling Angel reached out for her, but she stepped back.

"Buffy?," he asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Do you realise what time it is?," she asked back. "You were meant to be here at eight. Alright, Doyle said you would be a little bit late, but now it's almost ten. Why didn't you call or something."

"I'm sorry," he tried to appologize, but her gaze was still unforgiving. Sighing he continued: "Look there was just no time to call you. This case was not developing the way we expected it." Again he reached out with one hand but she stepped out of his reach.

"What, she wasn't as bad as you expected?" She knew she was acting irrational, but she had been so scared and now she was angry with him. And a little bit jealous, after all the woman was an actress, wasn't she. That meant she was supposed to beautiful.

"What are you talking about?," Angel was confused.

"Well, maybe you just thought, hey when will I have the oportunity to meet an actress again. So why calling my normal, boring girlfriend?," she said sarcastically.

"This is nonsense," his voice sounded slightly angry now.

"Oh, now it's nonsense," she felt tears welling up in her eyes. God she was pathetic. There was no reason to behave like this. Why then did she do it? And why couldn't she stop? "I'm just a little foolish girl, right?"

"Buffy," he shook his head. "I don't know what this is all about and I never said you're foolish. I know I'm late and I tried to appologize. Can't we just let it be and enjoy the rest of the evening?"

"You can go to hell," she suddenly shouted. "You didn't have a minute to call me," now her tears were falling freely. "I was so scared that something happened to you. When you told me about that boy I realised how dangerous your job really is." She wiped her eyes, but the tears didn't stop: "I was so scared," he voice was only a whisper now.

With a strangled noise Angel reached out and pulled her to him, this time she didn't try to escape his touch. Suddenly everything fell into place for him. Stroking her head he tried to comfort her: "Shhh. It's okay. Oh, Buffy, I'm so sorry. I didn't think about it. I'm still not used to this, you know having someone who cares for me, for my well-being. I honestly didn't think about your feelings in this."

"I-I th-thought y-you c-could be hurt," she sobbed against his chest. "O-or worse."

"I understand," he replied. "And I promise it won't happen again. Will you accept my appology?"

"A-alright," she sniffed and looked up to him. "But promise you'll call me in the future."

"I swear," he said and kissed her on the forehead. Suddenly he winced when she pressed herself closer to him.

"What?," she looked up in concern.

"Nothing. Really," he assured her. "Nothing serious. This actress, she was sixty, by the way," he said with a slight grin and watched amused when a sheepish look crossed her face.

"I wasn't really jealous," she tried to convince him. "I was just..."

"I know," he kissed her again. "Anyway. She told us she was stalked and we thought she was just an excentric woman with lots of phantasy. But then the stalker made an appearance in her house tonight. Just when I was there. So we got into a fight and he wasn't that bad. I'm going to be quite black and blue tomorrow."

"Oh god, Angel," she breathed, her fear rising again.

"Buffy," he put his pointer-finger under her chin to make her look at him: "This happens from time to time. But it isn't serious. Really."

"Okay," she replied with a small voice. "I guess, I have to live with this, when I want to be with you." Suddenly her body straighened and with a much more steady voice she added: "And I will. You will see a completely new Buffy."

"Oh I don't know. I quite like it that you care for me and sink into my arms," he joked.

"Sink into your arms, huh? You've got a lot of imagination, buddy. Maybe you've been born in the wrong century where brave knights were saving damsels in distress. Anyway. I will always care for you. And I will always be scared that something could happen to you, but I will learn to deal with it. Cordelia has learned it and I'm certain I can do it too." She smiled now.

"I love you," he said and kissed her a third time.

"I know," she replied and took his hand. "Now let's go, you must be hungry and we have champagne. Giles has bought some bottles. He said we never properly celebrated the engagement and he prefers to do it before the wedding is over," she grinned and pulled him into the garden.

*******

It was a minute before midnight and there were fireworks everywhere in the sky. The couples stood together in the garden and Giles was holding his son on his arms. Steven stared at the lights with wide, excited eyes, his lips forming a permanent 'O'.

Angel had enjoyed the time with their friends, meeting Willow again and getting known to Xander, Anya and Oz. Willow's boyfriend had played his guitar for a while. In Angel's eyes Xander was a bit strange and the look Anya had given him had been more than obvious, but after checking Angel out she had returned her attentions to her boyfriend. So the evening went peacefully and they were laughing a lot. They toasted to the engagement and even Cordelia managed to sip from her Champagne before Doyle took it away from her, much to her annoyance. She tried to explain him that Champagne wouldn't harm the baby, not one single glass, but he would have none of it. And so they were bickering for a while with Xander using the situation much to his own amusement.

"It's only ten more seconds," Giles announced.

"The next time we celebrate New Year I'll be Mrs. Finnegan," Buffy whispered in her fiancée's ear.

"Hmm," he made and pulled her closer.

"two, one, Happy New Year everyone," Cordelia exclaimed to everyone.

Looking deeply in each other's eyes, Buffy and Angel stood there, holding themselfes close: "Happy New Year my love," he said and lowered his head.

"Happy New Year, Angel," she replied before his lips made talking impossible for a while.

Part 30

"How do you feel Angel?," Xander nudged the dark-haired man in the ribs.

His head spun around, while he was tightening his arm around his love at the same time: "Why are you asking that?"

"Well one more night and you're a married man," Xander joked.

"I can hardly wait," Angel replied, his voice deep. Buffy on his side glanced up and smiled.

It was the fifth of January and the whole LA gang had been flying to New York the day before. And now all the young people were strolling through Central Park. It was still white everywhere.

Even Georgie and Gavin had joined them leaving little-Daniel, who had been released from the hospital just two days ago in the care of his grand-mother and Joyce who were fussing over him all the time. The moment Buffy had seen her mother with Angel's little nephew the look in her eyes was clearly telling that she could hardly wait to be a grand-mother.

Sighing and turning his attention back at his girlfriend, Xander shook his head: "That guy is a hopeless romantic."

"Yeah, obviously," Anya commented. There was tone in her voice her boyfriend had never heard before.

"What's the matter honey?"

"Nothing," she shook her head angrily. "Just. A bit more romance wouldn't harm you."

"Hey, I'm the most romantic boyfriend you can imagine," Xander said a little bit hurt.

"Oh please," Cordelia exclaimed smiling at her husband. "When we were dating the peaks of his romantic feelings were kissing me in closets." Suddenly a wicked grin spread over her face and she added: "But when I think about it, it wasn't really that bad. At least it was easy to switch off the lights and pretend I was kissing someone else."

"Hey," Xander cried, while the others were all laughing. Then he looked at Doyle and back at the former cheerleader: "It's not that your taste has really improved my May-Queen."

Cordelia raised one eyebrow and with a look cool as ice she said: "Coming from the very bottom almost everything would've been an improvement."

That shut her former boyfriend up. He looked at Anya who tried to stifle a grin. At that moment Xander wished a hole would open somewhere and swallow him right now.

"So you guys are all living in LA?", Georgie changed the subject.

"Yep," Willow replied and gave her a smile. "Bred, raised and still living there." She sighed: "Does that give the impression of a bore?"

"If," Angel's sister said, "then I'm a bore too. Bred, raised and still living in New York. Even my husband is from here. And with my Scottish-Irish-catholic background. I better go hide in a hole," she joked.

Buffy laughed: "Oh please stay with us. Because for once little-Daniel wouldn't like his mother underground and then we pretty much like you."

Georgie gave her soon-to-be sister-in-law a warm smile: "Thanks. I'm so curious about your dress for tomorrow."

"She won't give me a hint," Angel complained.

"I didn't see your clothes either," Buffy teased.

"Ha,ha, there isn't much of a secret about a tux. It's plain and simple."

"That's the key word," the blonde grinned. "Secret. You know the meaning of it, Angel, don't you? That means you mustn't know it - yet."

"Well, all I can say is that you're going to lose it," Cordelia commented.

"Better not," Georgie laughed. "Not in front of a huge crowd of people in a church.

"Oh god," Buffy paled slightly. "How many guests are coming."

"Well," Georgie narrowed her eyes and thought for a moment. "I think mom said something about two hundred in the church."

Buffy swallowed. Hard. And paled even more.

"And then about fifty at the reception." Angel's sister added mercelessly.

"Reception?," the blonde felt her voice quiver.

Her fiancée tightened his hold on her: "We're doing this together, remember?," he whispered and she nodded but the tension didn't completely leave her body.

200 people in a church watching her wasn't something Buffy wanted to picture. And then a reception. Had Sheila even mentioned a reception, she tried to remember, but failed. Angel's mother and her own had been so busy around her, telling her so many things, she had stopped listening most of the time. Big fault, she thought now.

"But before you're thrown into the depths of hell," Georgie went on and grinned when she saw her brother grimace. "Well, before that, we're going to have the girls' night!"

"Girls night?," Angel raised and eyebrow.

"Dense much?," Cordelia rolled her eyes. "The last evening before the wedding. Girls on their own and boys the same. Remember? You were at Doyle's bachelor party."

Her boss nodded and grimaced again. That wasn't something he wanted to be reminded of. Most of the men there had been drunk after an hour and it was almost a miracle that Doyle could look straight the next day. Nothing Angel wanted to experience. "I was looking forward to a nice quiet evening with my fiancée," he almost whined.

"No way buddy," Georgie grinned. "That's just tradition. You cannot escape it."

"Maybe we just elope to Vegas," Angel whispered into Buffy's ear. "I'm not sure if this all was a good idea."

She grinned but slightly shook her head. He was so cute when he was nervous.

"I got mom and Joyce to watch for the little ones and we're going to enjoy ourselves. Even Loretta is free," Georgie was full of excitement only to get a concerned glance of her husband.

"Easy, my dear," Gavin said and took her hand. "You've just been operated two weeks ago."

"And?," his wife almost glared at him. "I'm fine. And of course I can sit at a table and enjoy an evening with other women."

Her husband sighed, but didn't reply. There wasn't any sense in trying to hold her back. He had accepted that long ago.

*******

"Shouldn't there be some naked women," Xander said while he was leaning back in his chair. Gavin and Graham had been organising a bachelor party. But knowing their brother or brother-in-law respectively they knew he wouldn't like something wild.

So the men were sitting in a club Gavin knew quite well and talked.

"Is that all you can think about," Oz rolled his eyes.

"What's wrong with naked women," Xander wanted to know.

"Nothing," Gavin looked at the young man from LA. In his eyes Buffy seemed to have some weird friends. "But my brother-in-law isn't particulary fond of this form of entertainment and to be frank I'm neither." He exchanged a look with Angel who gave him a grateful smile.

"Now, Spike," Graham tilted his head at the blonde friend of his brother who had arrived in New York only an hour ago. "It's been a long time since we met. Still liking it wild and dangerous?"

The blond grinned: "You know me. And then what chance do I have with Dru at my side." He sighed loudly: "I'm just addicted to her."

Oz looked at Angel: "You guys know each other for a while," he pointed towards Spike.

"Yes," the soon-to-be husband replied. "Actually we went to school together. Spike used to hit the boys who tried to hit me. Of course I was less strong then." He grinned. "We shold've known from the start that you'd end up as a bodyguard."

The blond man shrugged: "What can I say. It still bugs me when people are threatened. And besides, it pays quite well."

"Yeah," Gavin grinned and let his gaze wander over Spike's expensive clothing.

"And still Doyle is your best man," Xander asked.

"You would Spike never get to wear a tux," Angel grinned at his childhood-friend. "Never. Doyle on the other hand," he looked over to his partner who grimaced. "Well, let's just say that he'll do anything to please his wife."

"I know exactly what you mean," Spike sighed. "But on the other hand. Aren't the dominant women exciting! I wouldn't exchange mine for the world."

*********

"I cannot believe you did that," Willow was still beet-red and staring at her clasped hands which laid in her lap.

"Oh, come on, Willow. It was fun," Cordelia grinned and looked at Georgie: "Where did you get him?"

"A friend told me about him. Actually I never saw a male stripper before." Angel's sister grinned as well, while Buffy was still recovering from her shock when she realised that the good looking police officer with the handcuffs didn't really come to arrest her.

"He was very sexy," Anya complimented Georgie. "What a body."

"Yeah," Dru licked her lips. "Although I still prefer Spike. He's even better worked out."

"Really?," Anya's head shot around in interest.

"Of course," the black haired girl replied with a nod. "And you should see Angel. They both work out from time to time."

Xander's girlfriend looked back and forth between Buffy and Dru and couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous. It wasn't that she didn't love Xander, but a good looking male body was something she adored. And Angel was so romantic too. She sighed loudly and all the other girls looked at her.

"Any problems?," Loretta asked. She was happy to have a night off. She loved her children, but she missed spending some quality time with friends. And although the bunch from LA were almost strangers for her she enjoyed the evening tremendously.

"Her boyfriend is a jerk," Cordelia informed her.

"He isn't," Anya tried to defend Xander. "It's just. He is not at all romantic."

"Men," Loretta snorted. "They're all the same." When she saw Buffy's look she gave her an appologetic smile. "Soon-to-be husbands don't count. Angel's a real sweetie. He's always been one. I was a little bit in love with him once," she sighed, "but he never even looked at me. And then I fell in love with Graham. But he isn't very romantic either. Just like his Dad."

"Doyle can be very romantic, but most of the time he's just ... Doyle," Cordelia said grinning. "But I can't help loving him nevertheless."

Georgie grinned: "Gavin is great. He is very sweet and thoughtful. But Loretta is right. Angel's always been top in this. I couldn't believe it when he told us that he would go to LA to work as a PI. Violence is something I'd never connect with him. He's much too soft-hearted."

"Yeah," Buffy said, remembering his problems coping with one of his last cases.

"I love my men dangerous and powerful," Dru said with a wicked smile. "And Spike's perfection. And when it's needed he can be so sweet. And," her grin grew wider. "I can always beat him in a hand-to-hand fight."

"You can?," Willow's eyes went wide thinking about Spike's muscualar body.

"Of course," Dru shot her an arrogant look. "I'm much better in Karate and Tae-Kwon-Do. Although part of this might be a result of his devotion towards me. When we sparr he's always holding back, I think. The only one I never got on his back was Angel." She sighed again and Buffy shot her a look. It wasn't too clear what she really meant. Realising this, the black-haired girl raised her hands: "No, no. I was, I have to admit, desperately in love with him, once. But that was when I was fourteen. I'm over this for a while now."

The same moment the waitress of the club came and brought two bottles of champagne. Seeing the questioning gazes Georgie grinned: "I've ordered it. We have to drink to you, Buffy." Taking a glass she said: "Gavin would kill me if he'd see this. He would lecture me that our baby has to drink parts of it with the milk." She shrugged and grinned even more. "But he isn't there and this is my first glass of champagne in more than nine moths." Raising the glass she looked at her soon-to-be sister-in-law: "To Buffy. And Angel of course. Eternal happiness and love! I'm glad he found you, you know," she wiped a tear from her eye. "Don't ever hurt him. He has a very soft heart and sometimes takes things harder than others. But he loves you. So let's drink to Buffy and Angel."

"To Buffy and Angel," the others said in unison.

Part 31

AN: //...// stands for a flashback.

"Would you just stand still for a moment," Cordelia shouted angrily at the blonde bride who was beyond nervous. "This is just your wedding, not your execution."

"Just my wedding," Buffy echoed. "Cordy, I don't know what your wedding was about, but I'm going to walk down the aisle with two hundred people staring at me. Most of them complete strangers, as I may add."

"I would have loved to do that," the brunette said dreamily. "All I got from Doyle was a nice little church and Angel and my husband's ex-wife as guests. Oh and Xander and Willow of course. But that pretty much sums it up. Afterwards we had a little lunch. We didn't even have a real honeymoon because my precious husband and your fiancée were knee deep in a case." She let out a snort. "So wanna change?"

"I think I would do everything at the moment to escape that, how did did you call it? Oh yeah, execution."

"Oh come on," Georgie grinned when she entered the bride-room. "You're getting my brother in the end. Isn't he worth it?"

A smile spread across Buffy's face: "Yeah," she breathed. "He's definitely worth it."

"So you see," she laid a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "And besides. There's really nothing to worry about. There's not one girl who is as beautiful as you."

Buffy gave her a warm smile: "Thank you."

Georgie made a dismissingly gesture with her hand and turned to Cordelia: "Where did you learn this? Doing the hair?"

"You should know," Willow, who had been sitting on a chair in a corner and was now coming to stand beside Angel's sister. "Cordelia was the most fashionable girl in high-school."

"I see," Georgie grinned again. "The fashion queen. You never told me that one Cordy."

The brunette shrugged and Buffy looked back and forth between the two of them. She'd almost forgotten that Cordelia and Georgie knew each other quite well. Angel had told her that his sister had been with him in LA quite frequently.

"Now, Buffy, if you would hold very still. I want to do you makeup," the former May-queen kneeled down in front of the bride and tilted her head: "Yes," she said after a while. "There are certainly possibilities. Willow, please hand me my make up bag."

********

"There's still half and hour, no need to be nervous," Doyle rolled his eyes and looked at Gavin who stood with his back against the wall and grinned.

"Enough time for her to find a reason not to marry me," Angel was nervously pulling at this shirt.

Graham, who sat in a corner, his legs crossed, laughed: "Brother, that girl is so in love with you. Don't be so nervous. If someone has a reason to be nervous it's Doyle." He raised and eyebrow and grinned wickedly: "Do you have the rings, best-man?"

"The rings?," Doyle's head shot up. Nervously he patted his chest with his hands. "Where are the damned rings?," he hissed and looked at Angel, whoes faced matched his expression: raising panic.

"Doyle," the bridegroom's voice was panic-stricken. "I know I gave them to you. And you two, this isn't funny," he hissed towards Gavin and Graham who were laughing really hard.

"Oh," Doyle breathed in relieve and pulled a little box from the pocket of his trousers. "There they are."

"Don't do this," Angel scowled. "Or I'm going to die before I'm even wed."

Slapping the shoulder of his brother-in-law and still laughing, Gavin said: "Relax my friend. This isn't your execution."

"Ha, ha," Angel shot him a look. "I remember a certain bridegroom, who had to run to the bathroom every five minutes before his wedding."

Gavin blushed and turned around while Doyle began to grin. "Very funny," Gavin muttered.

"I thought so," his brother-in-law exchanged a smile with Graham.

The same minute Oz entered the room: "Hey, Angel. You look good," he grinned. "Nervous?"

"Not at all," Graham answered and grinned as well.

Oz raised an eyebrow: "I thought so. Anyway. I talked to the band, Angel. And they said they can do the song."

"Song?," Doyle looked quizzically.

"I asked Oz and his band to do something special on the reception. For Buffy." Angel nodded at Willow's boyfriend: "Thanks. That means a lot to me."

"Take it as our wedding present. Alright then." He looked at his watch. "I'm going to join the crowd in the church now." With this he opened the door and left while Mrs. Finnegan entered.

Coming to stand in front of her younger son she put her hands on his chest: "I'm so happy for you," she said with a smile. "How do you feel?"

"What do you think?," her son answered with another question.

"Angel, it's good to be nervous. It only shows that this is important for you. That's the way it should be. Your father was a nervous wreck on his wedding day and look. We're still together. I cried for almost an hour," she stroked her son's cheek. "But when you see her coming down the aisle. It's a moment you'll never forget." She turned when she heard the door: "Oh see, there he comes."

Daniel Finnegan smiled at his wife and kissed her softly. "I've come to get you. Only five more minutes my son," he winked at Angel. "Time for your mother and I to take our spots. See you later." With this he took his wife's hand and they left the room. He and Angel had already talked this morning. Daniel didn't want an auditory for the words he had to say to his son.

//Angel found his father sitting in the living-room with his newspaper when he came down at five o'clock in the morning. He couldn't sleep that night.

"You're early," Daniel looked up and smiled. "Take a coffee. I just made it."

His son nodded and poured himself a cup.

"You couldn't sleep." It was more a statement than a question. Mr. Finnegan went on: "I was the same when I got married to your mother. Too nervous," he grinned. "We both were."

Sipping from his coffee Angel looked at his father: "Whoever invented that stupid tradition that bride and groom cannot spend the night before the wedding together was a tortourer. I would be much better if she'd been by my side." Buffy and her family and friends had spent the night at Angel's aunt who had a house only some blocks away.

"You young people," Daniel shook his head. "I only kissed your mother before we were married."

"You didn't," Angel blushed. "I mean..." It wasn't that he was nervous talking about sex, but to talk with your father about him having sex with your mother was quite strange.

"No. We didn't," his father grinned. "I respected her too much to try anything, although I was tempted," he sighed. "Severely tempted. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. And we had to wait six months. So talk about tortoure."

His son nodded. "I just hope, this is going to work. You know, our marriage. I love her so much. But I was thinking if I did the right thing asking her. So soon, I mean."

"That's a good sign," Daniel looked at him. "It means you care for her feelings. But I never doubted that. You were always the most sensitive of our children." He smiled: "I remember that morning when you accidently stepped on that worm. You were four and cried the whole day because you took a life. That moment I knew we had to be very careful with you."

Angel laughed: "Well, I don't cry for a worm anymore."

"No," his father's face was serious. "But you know what I mean. That was so like you. When your mother told me about your phone-call, you know when you had the case with the abused boy. This was the reaction I expected from you. You feel very deeply. It's a blessing when it comes to love but a curse when you're hurt. For this Buffy is right for you. She's gone through a lot and knows what it means to be hurt. You both love each other and you won't hurt each other intentionally. She knows that a human soul can be damaged easily."

Angel rolled his eyes: "Dad, stop that. You're making me sound like a ...," he waved his hand. "I don't know like what."

Daniel reached out and took his sons hand: "Don't be nervous. Love her. Then everything will be alright. And about the "too-soon-thing". I knew I would marry your mother the first moment I saw her."

"Thanks Dad," Angel squeezed his father's hand. "I love you."

"I love you too, my son." //

Angel looked at Doyle, Gavin and Graham had left the room just a minute ago: "Okay. Let's go. Let's get married." And a smile spread across his face. No he wasn't nervous anymore. This was going to be the best day of his life.

*******

"Buffy," Giles peered into the room. "It's time." Seeing his step-daughter standing there and smiling at him he stared at her in awe: "God, you're so beautiful."

"Thanks," she smiled.

"Nervous?"

"I was, but now I'm excited," she replied and looked at Cordelia, Willow and Anya who were in their pale pink bridesmaid-dresses and all of them looked beautiful as well. "I'm going to marry the man I love more than anything. Why should I be nervous?"

"I'm so proud of you," Giles felt tears in his eyes. "When you disappeared all those years ago I never thought we would stand here like this."

Hearing a sniffling noise from Buffy, Cordelia raised her hand: "No, don't make her cry. We have no time to repair possible damage. She has to look perfect or I'm going to lose my reputation."

Buffy and her step-father chuckled and he held out his arm for her: "Now, may I escort the bride."

"It's a pleasure," she replied.

Part 32

AN: This is the wedding-part. There will be an exchange in Buffy’s and Angel’s POV.

The music began to play and I turned around. The first I saw was little-Sheila, carrying a basket and throwing rose petals on the floor. She grinned from ear to ear. As she was only two years her brother who was walking behind her was told he should watch out that she wouldn't miss the right way. Sam was annoyed, beyond annoyed, that he had to look out for his little sister and a slight chuckle escaped my lips when I saw his nose wrinkled in disgust when he gazed at her. He and Steven came behind her. Each of them carrying a ring on a little cushion. We had to make each one of them carry one ring because otherwise one would've felt left out. Surprisingly none of the children seemed to mind all the guests in the church. Many of them were distant relatives of my parents but the children didn't know most of them.

Then the first bridesmaid to appear was Anya. I hadn't seen their dresses before today, Buffy had been very secretive about the whole clothing. It was the palest pink, they were full length, with puffy sleeves and looked wonderful. I could see Xander gasp at her sight and had to smile.

Cordelia was the next to come and I heard my best man draw in a sharp breath. The last of the bridesmaids was Willow. She gave Oz a sweet smile before she found her place beside the other two girls. They were all smiling and Cordelia winked. I wasn't sure if it had been for me or for her husband, but I didn't care because that moment I saw her.

*

I was standing in the back of the church, my arm firmly on Giles' and saw them walk down the aisle. First the children and then my friends. It was a beautiful church, with lovely windows and an unbelievable atmosphere. I have never been religious and I know that Angel mainly gave in to his parent's wishes when we decided to have this sort of a ceremony, but now I was glad we did.

I was so scared of all the people, but it's gone now. I just felt excited, I was going to marry Angel and I didn't care how many people were going to watch it, because I wanted the whole world to know how much we loved each other.

Giles looked down at me with an odd expression on his face. I know he felt happy for me but also sad because I would no longer live with them. I was glad though that he had accepted he wouldn't loose me this way. He put his other hand on top of mine that was resting on his arm and smiled at me and when the wedding march started we began to walk.

*

I almost forgot to breathe. She looked so beautiful, like transported from a dream. Her white dress was full length too and it was a dream of silk and lace. The sleeves were full length and made of the finest silk that was shining like silver. The top was tight and went over into a wide skirt. Her hair was curled around her head with white flowers inbetween.

I could only stare at her and I knew that I would never in my life love anyone the way I loved this woman. It was as if I finally found home seeing her slowly walking towards me on the arm of her step-father, who seemed very proud and whoes face didn't show the resentments he'd had at first anymore. I was glad, because Buffy loved him so much.

And then our eyes met and she smiled.

*

I couldn't take my eyes from him. First I had to suppress a giggle when I saw him. He had the oddest expression on his face, as if he'd seen a miracle. But then his eyes began to focus on me and a smile spread across his face. God, he looked so handsome in his tux. And the way he looked at me, his eyes so full of love, devotion and admiration, it almost took my breath away.

As we passed the people sitting on each sides I barely saw them. From the corner of my eye I saw my mother with tears in her eyes as had Sheila. Daniel tried to look as if he had something in his eyes, he would never admit how touched he was.

When we came to stand in front of the altar my eyes locked with his. And I knew this was all I ever wanted and I felt deliriously happy. I had to blink, to stop tears from falling.

Then the priest said: "Whoes giving this woman to this man." It's an old, almost ancient phrase, but it's so true. I do belong to him. And he belongs to me.

"That's me," Giles said beside me. "Me and her mother." And with this he put my hand in Angel's, who pulled it to his mouth and planted a soft kiss on it, smiling at me assuringly. He still thought I was nervous. I leaned forward and quickly breathed a kiss on his cheek while I whispered: "I'm fine, don't worry."

He smiled and nodded in response. And then the priest began to speak.

*****

I wasn't able to follow the words of the priest most of the time. Too many thoughts were in my head and I glanced over to her ever so often. Most of the times our eyes would meet for a short moment. It was as if we both could hardly believe that so much happiness was possible.

I had to smile from time to time hearing the sniffling behind us. The women of my family were always built near the water. Then I felt Buffy sqeezing my hand and turned to look at her again. With a nod she pointed my attention at the priest who was looking at me expectantly. Grinning at me he repeated:

"Do you Angel Rogan Finnegan take this woman, Buffy Anne Summers to your lawfully weeded wife? Will you love and honour her, will you protect her and hold her? Will you be with her for better and for worse, until death do you part, then answer with yes."

"Yes," I said and it felt as if the door to a new life has just opened and bright sunshine was streaming on my face. I knew there was no sun in this church and is was chilling cold out there, but that's how I felt.

"And do you Buffy Anne Summers take this man, Angel Rogan Finnegan to your lawfully wedded husband? Will you love and honour him, will you protect and hold him? Will you be with him for better and for worse until death do you part, then answer with yes."

*

"Yes," I answered and I knew then that it was for real. I had vowed to be Angel's wife and it was the best feeling on earth.

"May we have the rings please?," the priest, who Sheila had told me was Father Matthew, asked and looked at my brother and my new nephew. Sam stepped forward and held his hand with the cushion out to his uncle. He took the ring and touched the boy's head slightly, which made Sam smile in pride.

"Angel," Father Matthew began. "Please repeat my words. With this ring I thee wed."

"With this ring I thee wed," Angel said, his voice loaded with emotion. Then he slipped the golden band on my finger. I can hardly put it into words what I felt that moment. But I knew nothing in my life had ever felt so right.

I took Angel's ring from Steven's cushion and the priest asked me to say the same.

"With this ring I thee wed," I repeated and placed the ring on his finger as well.

Father Matthew entwined our left hands and put a symbolic band over them. Smiling at us he said: "You've vowed to love and protect each other, you exchanged rings as a sign of your devotion. With this I declare you husband and wife." Then his ganze wandered to Angel and he removed the band: "You may kiss the bride now."

*

I turned at her and saw that she smiled. The love beamed in her eyes and I felt truly blessed. Blessed with the love this beautiful, unique woman feels for me. This is the most precious present I've ever recieved in my life and I hope I'll ever prove myself worthy of it.

Our hands still entwined our lips met. The kiss was sweet at first but soon she put her arms around my neck to pull me closer and I encircled her waist.

I was kissing and holding my wife, the person I loved more than anything. I had the feeling I had to burst with happiness. So I pulled back slightly and looked into her eyes and out of a spontaneous emotion I threw my head back and laughed. I didn't know what the people in the church thought about me but honestly I didn't care. Gazing back at my wife I saw the amusement in her eyes because of my behaviour and without thinking I shouted: "I love you," so that the whole church would hear it. I wanted everyone to know how much she meant to me.

Her eyes lit up with happiness and joy and then she laughed as well and shouted repeating my words: "I love you."

We held each other close for a moment, before somone touched my shoulder. I turned and saw my parents smiling at us. A grin spread across my face and letting go of Buffy I hugged both, while she did the same with her parents.

"See you soon at the reception," my mother whispered in my ear and I nodded.

Then I turned back to my bride and we both took each others hands. "Let's go," I whispered in her ear. "There's reception waiting for us, and I want to get you on your own for five minutes before that."

She smiled in agreement and with the cheering of our families and friends behind us we left the church.

*

We were breathless when we were finally sitting in the car that drove us to the hotel where the reception was to be held. As soon as the doors were closed he leaned over and kissed me again. I have never seen him like this before, so carefree and happy and knowing that I was the reason for this filled me with joy and little bit pride.

We both smiled, our foreheads were still touching, when we broke the kiss. "Can't we just skip this reception and start with the wedding night," I asked him with a wicked grin.

Grinning back he shook his head: "No. No way. First there are our families and friends and we don't want to disappoint them. Our mothers have had lots of work to prepare this. Then there is something I've planned for you and thirdly," he paused and kissed me. When he spoke again his voice was hoarse with passion: "Some things are worth waiting for."

And then he kissed me again, a kiss that was a promise of all the things to come later.

Part 33

Special Disclaimer: The lyrics quoted in this part are a song by Ronan Keating from his CD "Ronan" and it's called Loved By You. (And I really recommend this CD to every Buffy/Angel-fan. It's wonderful with lots of ballads - sigh)

Angel and Buffy arrived at the reception a little late, but nobody cared. Georgie just winked at them when they entered the ballroom. Oz and his band were busy setting up on the stage. They had agreed to play at the reception, while Sheila was busy introducing Joyce to all the people present who were mostly members of either her's or Daniel's family. Mr. Finnegan and Giles on the other hand were sitting at a table in a corner obviously deep in conversation. Both weren't fond of gatherings like these and glad to have found someone to talk to.

When Sheila saw the newlyweds enter the room her eyes lit up and she waved them to come over: "Angel, Buffy, my dearest," she greeted them with a smile. Pulling a handkerchief from her pocket she wiped it over her son's cheek: "You've got lipstick there," she said with a grin. He blushed a little but smiled too. "Got distracted on the way," Sheila winked at Buffy, who blushed as well. "Now, now," she took the blonde's hand. "You're newlyweds, that's quite understandable. We were waiting for you," she then said and turned to Joyce who was standing next to her.

"Yes," Buffy's mother nodded. "They want to bring champagne and then Rupert and Daniel have prepared a little speech." When she saw her daughter roll her eyes she laughed: "Only short, I promise, and then there's just dancing."

"Alright," Buffy sighed looking at Angel. "Let's get over with." In response he grinned and his mother waved at the waiters to bring the champagne.

When everyone held a glass in their hands Giles and Daniel went for the stage and the microphone. "Test, test," Mr. Finnegan said and then looked at the assembled crowd. "I'm glad you all came today," he bagan with a smile. "As the father of the groom I've been told I have to say something. Those of you who know me well will also know that I hate to talk in public, so this will be short I assure you." He cleared his throat and some laughter was to be heard. "When my son was born we immediately knew that we had recieved a very special child. That was the reason we named him Angel. I'm sure for a long time he hated us for it." More laughter came from the people and Daniel smiled at his son. "Anyway. He has always been a wonderful son and always lived up to our expectations and hopefully also to his' and the moment Buffy entered our house I knew he brought us a wonderful daughter-in-law too. I hope I won't hurt anyone when I now say that I've never seen a couple so much in love before. All I hope for them is that they will never lose it. That they will stay that happy for the rest of their lives." He raised his hand which held the glass. "To Buffy and Angel," he said loudly.

"To Buffy and Angel," the guests repeated and drank.

"And now let me introduce you to Buffy's step-father, Rupert Giles, who has to say some words too." With this he stepped aside and Giles took the micorphone.

"I met Buffy two years after her father died. She was twelve by then and missed her dad very much. We both went to bad and good times but I always loved her dearly. As some of you might know I didn't approve of her relationship with Angel first, but I soon realised that I was wrong. Their love is so strong, it's almost palpable. So I just want to say that I wish you all happiness and I love you Buffy." He raised his glass now too. "To Buffy and Angel."

"To Buffy and Angel," the guests repeated again.

"And now, let's dance and have fun," Daniel said into the microphone. Both men left the stage and came over to the couple.

"Oh Giles," Buffy said between tears and hugged him tightly. "I love you too."

"I know," he replied and held her close. "Be happy, Buffy."

She nodded: "I will, we will. Don't worry."

Glacing over to Angel who stood talking to his father he smiled: "I will always worry. That's what parents do, but I know you both belong together. If I hadn't realised it before, today would be the proof. You look radiant."

"May I kidnap my wife for a moment," Angel took Buffy's hand and looked at Giles. "I think we should open the dance now.

"Sure," Giles nodded. "She's your wife after all."

"That she is," Angel replied and his eyes locked with Buffy's again. Then he tore his gaze away and nodded at Oz. Turning back to his wife he said: "This song is for you. I choose it especially because it expresses how I feel. May I have this dance, Mrs. Finnegan?"

"With pleasure, Mr. Finnegan," she smiled and both went to the dancefloor. The music began to play. It was a slow piece and she put her hands around his neck, resting her head at his chest while his head lay on top of hers.

For all I've been blessed in this life

There was an emptiness in me

I was imprisoned by the power of gold

With one honest touch you set me free

Let the world stop turning

Let the sun stop burning

Let them tell me love's not worth going through

If it all falls apart

I will know deep in my heart

The only dream that mattered had come true

In this life, I was loved by you

"It's beautiful song," she breathed and looked up into his eyes. "I love it."

"I thought so," he smiled. "Sometimes I think words aren't enough to show you how much I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled back.

"You look so beautiful today," he stroked her cheek.

As an answer she snuggled closer at his chest, completely oblivious to the many eyes that watched them dance.

For every mountain I have climbed

And every raging river crossed

You were the treasure that I longed to find

Without your love I would be lost

Let the world stop turning

Let the sun stop burning

Let them tell me love's not worth going through

If it all falls apart

I will know deep in my heart

The only dream that mattered had come true

In this life, I was loved by you

In this life I was loved by you

In this life I was loved by you

When the song ended their lips met in a sweet kiss and they broke apart when Buffy felt a hand on her shoulder: "May I dance with the bride," Daniel smiled.

"Of course," Angel smiled at his father too and then went to his bride's mother.

"Joyce," he held out his hand.

"It's a pleasure," she replied with a smile of her own.

This went on for a while. They danced with different partners and sometimes together. Then after a while Doyle and Cordelia came to take them to the bunch from LA. They were all smiling: "We have a present for you," Willow said in excitement, clasping her hands.

"Actually we do have some presents, but you'll get them when you're back home. We didn't want to carry them," Cordelia added with a smile. "But that," she held out an envelope, "is for now."

With a raised brow Angel took the envelope from her and opened it. He and Buffy read the card inside and when they both looked up they seemed both truly touched. "That's wonderful," the blonde said while a tear ran from her eye. "Giving us your life-long friendship means everything to us." She looked at Angel who nodded.

"She's right. That's a wonderful present."

"I'm glad you like it," Xander grinned. "We weren't so sure if this wasn't too ridiculous, you know. Some words written on a card.."

"Oh no," Buffy shook her head emphatically. "This is very sweet and thank you so much for this. It's worth more than any present could be. True friendship is very rare and we will never take it for granted."

Thery were about to hug each other when Sheila interrupted them: "Children," she laid a hand on Angel's and Buffy's shoulder. "You have to cut the cake. Come on."

It was a huge cake, Sheila had made herself of course. She would've been insulted if they'd ordered it. With an enormous knife in their hands they cut right through and Joyce held out a plate for them. Buffy was feeding Angel and he did the same with her while the guests applauded. Then Sheila and Joyce and some waiters of the hotel served the other people in the room with it.

Afterwards the dance went on.

It was already dark outside and Angel was talking to Gavin and Graham when he realised that Buffy wasn't in the ballroom anymore. Excusing himself to his brother and brother-in-law he went to look for her.

He found her standing in the winter garden of the hotel. She was sitting on a bench, leaning back and looking to the stars. She started slightly when he sat down beside her: "Hey," he said softly. "I was looking for you and you were gone."

She sighed: "It's beautiful out here. The stars are so clear, so pure. Maybe it's because of the cold. And I'm sitting here seeing this and feeling warm," she laughed and then faced him. "I just had to think for a while."

"And will you tell me what you were thinking about?"

"Us. The wedding, our short past, our future, everything." She turned her gaze to the sky again. "I'm so happy Angel. I've never been so happy in my life. So I was thinking if it can stay that way or if this perfect happiness has to end sometime, maybe we're going to fall very hard, very soon."

He reached out and stroked her cheek ever so softly with his fingertips: "Heavy thoughts on such a wonderful day? Why?"

"Maybe because of my past, because I've experienced that feelings can change. I think I'm just afraid that this, us, won't last." Now she turned and looked at him again.

Gently he took her face between his hands and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. Gazing deeply into her eyes he said: "I will not promise you heaven on earth, because that'd be a lie and we both know it. There'll be good and bad times, but I promise to be by your side as long as I'm breathing. I love you so much, you're everything to me. And I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you." With his thumbs he wiped the tears away that were falling from her eyes, then he kissed her on her eyelids. "And I hope that I will only cause you happy tears like these in the future."

"I love you," she whispered. "You're the one, Mr. Finnegan," she smiled.

"Mrs. Finnegan," he stood up and took her hand. "May I have this dance," he asked politely while the music from the ballroom was sounding in their ears.

"Here?," she asked.

"Most certainly." He took her in his arms and they began to sway to the music. "When we're old and wrinkly we will tell our grand-children that we danced on our wedding in a winter garden under the stars and the full moon. I love you Buffy, this is the best day of my life too."

She sighed and leaned her head at his chest. This was where she wanted to be and there she would stay for the rest of her life. By His Side.

END.

SEQUEL: In Your Eyes