Finally

by Jill

Part Six

Willow's diary

I cannot believe it is the day of our Graduation from college. It seems like yesterday when we were 16 and at highschool. I remember Buffy coming to Sunnydale and change all our lives, before this I always thought vampires were some sort of
a fairytale, well not a fairytale but not real anyway. Now I know better. I was afraid first but now I am glad I know, it is better than to be ignorant. At least you know what could happen.

I also remember the first time I saw Angel. None of us knew he was a vampire then, he was always so nice and gentle, he saved our lives more than once. I knew from the very first day he was in love with Buffy and never quite understood why he was behaving so distant to her when his eyes gave him away. Only Buffy did not notice and Xander, but that was no surprise. And now he is back, Angel I mean. And he is human. It's one of the miracles which only happen on the Hellmouth and this time it is a good one. I am so happy they are both together, it is like a fairytale although I am sad at the same time because Buffy wants to leave Sunnydale. I have to go now, get ready for the ceremony, will write more later.

Buffy blinked when her alarm clock blared at eight in the morning. Groaning she reached out and turned it off. Stretching her arms and legs she yawned, it was to early. The evening had been long and eventful. She grimaced when Riley came back to her mind. Then she remembered Angel and smiled at once, jumped out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. Some things in your life can be very refreshing.

"Angel are you up already," Cordelia called from the hall of the mansion. The former vampire sighed and pulled the covers over his head when he heard a noise at his door. He looked up: "Cordy, it is to early, go away."

She shook her head disapprovingly: "Come on today is her big day, you do not want to miss it, do you?"

He sighed: "No. Alright, alright, I am coming. How long have you been up?"

"Half an hour, Make Up needs time, you know women are not born pretty, it's all a matter of skill and the right utensils." With these words she turned and Angel crawled out of his bed, laughing heartily.

"Oz never showed up yesterday," Tara said casually while she got dressed.

"I saw it," was Willow's answer: "I wonder what happened. I tried to call him tough but got only his answering machine."

Tara came over to her girlfriend and touched her arm: "You still care for him, that is okay Willow. He is an important part in your life, he was your first lover. I am fine with that."

"Are you really," Willow looked at her skeptically. "Sometimes I wonder if it is fair to be with you. I still have feelings for him, it's not that I am thinking to cheat on you, but somehow I still love him, maybe I always will."

Tara smiled at her understandingly: "I would not love you the way I do if it was different. It only shows how wonderful you are," she kissed her on the cheek.

"I do not deserve you, Tara, but I love you anyway."

"I cannot understand how you can be so calm, Frank."

Frank Chambers took another sip of his morning coffee and looked at his wife: "Joyce, please calm down. Your daughter is a grown up woman who graduates from college today. She is able to make her own decisions and if she is in love with that Angel-guy so be it. And by the way: I like him, he seems honest and he loves her, I can tell."

Joyce sighed: "It's of no use talking to you. I have to speak to Hank. He will be here in half an hour, maybe he is able to talk some sense into our daughter's head." She shot her husband a glare and left the kitchen. She really loved him but he could be so ... oh, men!

"Xander, you look ridiculous."

"I do not."

"You do."

"Why are you saying that, Anya. This is my best suit."

"It still looks ridiculous. Look at you, it is to small, it is to tight."

"Would you like me better in jeans?"

"Well at least they would fit."

Xander sighed, he knew she was right, but the hell he would show her, he would never live that down. He could punch himself for not trying the suit before, of course if he had thought only for one minute he might have guessed it had to be to tight. The thing was five years old, he had worn it for the prom. But there was no going back now, no way he was going to wear jeans on Buffy's and Willow's graduation.

"When will Angel be here to get you," Willow asked her friend at the breakfast table.

"In ten minutes. Oh Will, I am so thrilled. We are graduating from College and I am with him, he will be there. It's like a dream. I am still afraid I will wake up and nothing was real."

Tara smiled: "It is true. Otherwise we are all dreaming."

"Yeah," Buffy sighed happily. "It is true. Oh I love him, god, I love him so much."

"We know, everyone can see that. Now more than ever." Willow grinned.

Buffy suddenly frowned: "I really fear the after-graduation-reception though. Mom will be there and ... Dad, hopefully ... and Giles and he does not know anything of my plans to go to LA."

"Are you sure of this?"

"Yeah, Will, I am. It might look spontaneous but the truth is it is not. Well in one way it is, but being with Angel like ... like this, was something that I was having in my mind for so long now."

"Buffy, I am really happy for you, you know," the red-head said "but you have not seen each other for a long time. I mean you do not really know each other anymore, how do you know if it is right."

"It just know it. And I am not rushing into things. I am not going to live with him ... now ... I hope to convince my father to stay with him for a while. Angel and I do not want to rush, we want to date, see each other, know each other," she grinned: "then marry and live happily ever after."

"Buffy," Willow said looking serious.

The slayer frowned: "I hear you, mom. Willow, I am totally aware that we have been separated for a while and that there is a lot we have to talk about, but we love each other and we will find a way to make it work. We find a way. When you love someone it is of no matter what obstacles are in your way. You live only once and you have to make the best of it."

Willow nodded and smiled sadly at her, she closed her eyes for a moment. When Tara saw it she tried to hide the tears that were burning behind her lashes.

The door bell rang and Buffy went to open it. Angel stood there and oh god he looked gorgeous. He smiled: "Hi my beauty, did you sleep tight?"

"I did," she answered, stepping on to him and putting her arms around his neck: "I was dreaming of you," she whispered and kissed him. He responded at once, but they were disturbed by Willow clearing her throat. Angel looked up and grinned: "Hi Willow, good to see you. Tara," he added nodding at the blonde standing behind the witch. Tara nodded back. Angel looked at his watch: "So are you ready, you three? I think it is time to go."

"Miss Summers." The man on the stage said and Buffy stepped forward. Angel had only eyes for her. She looked just lovely in her summer dress, her eyes were sparkling. He had been so concentrated on her the whole time that he had been able to overlook Joyce Summer's disapproving gaze resting on him from time to time. It would have bothered him some years ago, but Buffy was a grown up woman now, she was able to make her own decisions and he was human. Sure he was not the regular human boyfriend, but there was no curse and he could do all the normal things with her now, take her on picnics, go swim, take her out for lunch. And she loved him, god, she loves me he thought. I cannot believe it, it is just unreal. That wonderuful person loves me, despite all the things that were going on in my life or un-life. She just loves me the way I am now. I am really blessed. He startled when he felt a hand on his arm:

"You have such a goofy grin on your face, it makes me nauseous."

He sighed: "Cordelia, that is none of your buisness. I can make all faces I want."

"Sure. Go on, but be careful not to be mistaken for Xander."

He shot her a dirty look. But Cordelia only smiled sweetly: "It could happen, you know, I mean, sure he is not brooding, but goofy grins are his trademark," she turned round to look at Xander: "But on second thought, there is no danger. At least you can dress for the occasion."

Angel decided to ignore her. He really liked her and she was a good friend but sometimes tact was not something she seemed to know and he was glad she did not say anything for a while.

Then the official part was over and Angel saw Buffy's parents rushing to her and hugging her tight. She pulled back after a while and ran over to him, smiling lovingly: "Angel, there you are. Why are you not coming."

He frowned: "I am not sure if your mother will be so pleased to see me."

"Hush. You are my boyfriend, uh that sounds nice, well you are. So you belong to me."

He grinned and let her pull him over to her parents. Joyce lips tightened at once and she reached out for her ex-husband: "Hank, that is the guy I was talking about to you before."

Hank Summers turned round to face the horrible man that - taking the words of his ex-wife - seduced their little daughter. Seeing him he suddenly smiled broadly: "Angel, it is so good to see you. How are you doing."

The ex-vampire took his hand and shook it. Buffy looked at both men in confusion. Joyce was totally taken aback: "You know each other," she asked.

Hank nodded: "Yes, we do. Angel was taking care of some things for me. He is a private investigator in LA and when we had some ... uuhm ... unusual problems he took care of them."

Buffy punched her boyfriend playfully: "So you know my father, why didn't you tell me?"

"There wasn't really the time. And it was not very important."

"It was important. I would not have known how to deal with the situation without you," Hank said and looked at his daughter: "So he is the new man in your life, my princess. Well all I can say, congratulations. You could not have taken a better one."

"I cannot believe it, all the men in my life seem to plot against me," Joyce exclaimed in frustration.

"Mom, come on. Maybe it should tell you something that everyone likes Angel. Maybe you should try to know him better and then decide," Buffy tried to calm her mother.

Joyce nodded: "Fine, I can do that. But I am still not happy with it."

Buffy took her father's hand: "Daddy, there is something I have to ask you. A favour."

"Of course, darling. Tell me."

"Could I stay with you for a while. I mean could I stay at your house?"

"Everytime. You know, I love it to have you with me."

"Ahem. Don't you think that is something we should talk about," came Giles' angry voice from behind.

Buffy spun round and looked at the now red-faced watcher: "Uhm... Giles," was all she was able to say.

"Yes, Giles. I think we have to talk, don't you. And you," he turned to face Angel: "are coming with us." He turned again and walked a bit away from the group. Buffy gave her parents a short glance, then she and Angel walked after him.

Hank looked at his wife in astonishment: "What does he have to do with that?"

"This is a nice bomb you are dropping on me, Buffy. You cannot just quit and leave like that. And you Angel of all people should know that."

Buffy glared at her watcher: "Leave him out of this. It was my decision and you know very well that I can leave. The Council gave me permission to do if I want. They wrote I can decide if I want to stick to my duty in Sunnydale or not. So, guess what I decided to skip."

"Buffy," Giles sighed: "I thought we have talked about it and you told me you would stay. All of a sudden... tell me one reason."

The slayer reached for her boyfriend's hand and smiled: "Angel is the reason or better the fact that we love each other. We have just found out that we love each other for a very long time and as we have been separated for a while we have to know each other again. That is not really possible if I am staying here. Angel cannot move at the moment for he has the buisness."

"You found out ... WHAT?"

"It's not really my fault that you find it out like that," Buffy pouted: "everybody saw it yesterday night but you were already gone."

"So you are telling me that he," he pointed at the former vampire: "cames back yesterday, all of a sudden you find out you love each other and now you're rushing to LA ... Buffy, that is ... I don't even have words for this."

Buffy was about to answer, her anger boiling inside of her when a soft voice cut in: "Giles, you are acting like an idiot. They are in love. Can't you remember how that feels like." Jenny walked beside her husband and squeezed his arm. He looked at her and suddenly his tense broke away from him. He shrugged: "Well, maybe you are right. It's just, it is a bit out of the blue. And I still feel you should have told me - yesterday."

"Ah, I should have rang your doorbell in the middle of the night and wake Arthur?" Buffy could not help but grin now.

"Oh ... no, of course ... well, I have to accept it then. And I will have to deal with Kendra," he sighed loudly: "She is a nice girl, but she is very different from you, Buffy."

"Yeah, but think about it, Giles, you will have a slayer that lives after the handbook - not the annoying Buffy who will be mad because she cannot go to a party," Buffy laughed and she could feel Angel beside her.

Giles now completely calmed down reached out and took her hand: "You never were annoying." When he saw Buffy quirking an eyebrow he said: "Alright, sometimes you were difficult, but it was always a pleasure to have you. Maybe it is not the watcher that worries parting from you, maybe it is more ... you became like a daughter to me and it is hard to let her go."

"I know," tears were shining in Buffy's eyes. "But I am only going to LA, that is a two hours drive, right. So we can see each other and if some great evil shows up, Kendra is not able to handle on her own you give us a call and Angel and I rush back for help."

Giles looked at the couple in front of him and he finally realised that they just belonged together: "So you are staying with your father?"

"Yes. Angel and I decided to take it slow. We have to get known to each other first. But he offered a paid position in his agency to me, so I can actually work in the buisness. No energy wasted. Okay I have been to college but I do not see myself somewhere in an office."

"I wish you luck and hope you will call from time to time," Giles said finally and his wife smiled.

"I will call. And I insist all of you come to LA - as soon as I have moved to my father's house I will throw a party. He does not know this but I think he will be cool with it. He has a lot to make up for, I mean he even missed my 18th birthday, only sending a present and a card. So we will see you all soon."

When they left the College grounds some time later, Riley Finn still stood in the shaddow of a tree. He had watched Buffy and Angel the whole day. The feeling of betrayal would grow stronger with every minute he saw them together, the pain in his stomach became worse with every kiss or touch they shared. He loved that woman, he had given up everything for her, to be near her again and she had only used him. He did not know what to do but he knew that she would not get away with this so easily, she and her lover.

Part Seven

Willow's Diary

Geez - it's been a week since Graduation - I cannot believe it. I've got two letters from software companies offering jobs to me but I am not sure. I love being a witch and would like to improve magic. The whole celebration was very nice and I will always remember it. Xander looked so stupid in his Prom-suit and I could tell that Anya was slightly embarassed to show up with him. And Buffy really wants to move to LA, in fact she is moving today to her father's house. We are all going with her and the stuff in Xander's new van.

Angel went back to LA the day after Graduation, I still have to process he and Buffy are together now. We will have a little party tonight at a club near Mr. Summer's house who is out of town for a week, so the whole gang is staying in LA for that time. Taking Buffy's words he has a rather big house with room for all of us. Buffy finally has told her father about her being the slayer and all and surprisingly he took it quite well.

Annoyingly Riley showed up at our apartment two days ago, he was slightly drunk and looking for Buffy who was at her mom's and I am really glad. He was talking about Buffy's betrayal and how sad he was. Fortunately Tara used some magic on him and so he changed his mind and left after some minutes. I hope he is not going to cause trouble - somehow I have a bad feeling.

Oz has not shown up so far. I am really worried, he promised to be at the Graduation and never came. I tried to call him but no answer, but then I have no right to expect him coming, we are only friends now - at least I hope that. Ever since I have told him about Tara and I he has been distant. I could tell he was hurt he'd expected to have a relationship with me again in typical Oz-manner. Taking me in his arms, kissing me and smiling. No discussion, no explanation. So I just said NO, and I do love Tara, I do love Tara, well I hope I really do, for all our sake.

Well, I have to go now, the others are waiting for me. So I will write again, when I come back.

Buffy directed Xander through LA towards her father's house. She had not been there for a while but had no problems with directions. Xander pulled in front of a large white building and the whole gang climbed out of the van.

"Wow, that is some house," Xander exclaimed.

"It's big, no it is huge," Anya added :" he must have some money."

Buffy grinned: "Yeah, he lives. But actually the house is to big for one person."

"A house can never be to big," Anya stated matter-of-factly.

Xander looked at her, shrugged and then grinned himself.

Two hours later everyone was sitting in the living room. They had carried all of Buffy's stuff inside and were now waiting for the pizzas to arrive. There was a knock on the door and Buffy jumped up:

"Going."

Expecting the pizza boy she opened the door going through her purse and not looking up: "How much is it."

"I don't know if you can pay for me."

"Angel," she exclaimed and launched herself into his arms, looking at him lovingly and pulling his head down for a kiss: "what are you doing here. I thought you had to work."

He smiled: "Change of plans, so I thought I would come and see you. I take it you are not mad."

"Mad," she questioned: "Why would I be mad. I am happy you came."

"Whom were you expecting?"

"Only pizzas. Come in, the whole gang is here, we're just carrying my things inside." She took his hand and pulled him into the house and then towards the living room. Smiling at her friends she said: "Look who I found on the doorstep."

Several 'heys' came in response.

"Nice to see you, dea... Angel, but I'd rather prefer the pizzas, I am starving."

"Poor Xander," Willow grinned and looked at Angel: "I cannot believe he actually is hungry, while we were carrying things he and Anya were mostly making out."

"Hey, I resent that," Xander shot her a glare.

"Making out makes hungry, one burns a lot of energy. Not as much as with having sex, but it burns nevertheless," Anya said to help her boyfriend and everyone just shook their heads smiling slightly.

Buffy pulled Angel to a large seat, forcing him to sit down and curling herself up in his lap. She looked at him: "How are Cordelia and Wesley?"

"They are fine. Cordelia has an audition right now and Wesley is researching something for me, but they will be here tonight."

"Something that needs a slayer?"

He smiled: "We don't know so far." Angel looked round: "Some things are going on in LA, I am not sure what to think of it. Last night I was attacked by two vampires. In Sunnydale this would not surprise me but this is LA. Usually the vamps around here do not jump on you and if they would they would not choose me."

"Already a bad reputation?" Xander grinned.

Angel only glared at him: "This is not funny, Xander. It is very unusual. And it came out of the blue, there are no prophecies and nothing." He frowned.

Buffy reached out and stroke his forehead gently with her fingertips: "We can take care about this later, right."

He smiled: "Yeah, we can."

When the pizzas arrived Buffy went to the kitchen to get plates for everyone and placed herself again with Angel. It felt so good to be near him, she had not seen him for almost a week and was seeking for contact.

Biting from her slice Willow said: "Buffy, maybe you should tell Angel about Riley."

At the mention of this name Buffy felt Angel stiffen, she gave him a gentle kiss and explained: "He came to the apartment two days ago and was complaining about how I treated him. I was at my mom's at that time."

"What did he say," Angel asked Willow.

The witch shrugged: "Not much. He was slightly drunk and babbling about Buffy's betrayal and stuff," she looked at Tara: "but she used magic on him and off he went," she finished with a proud smile at her girlfriend. Tara blushed a little bit, she did not like to be in the middle of everyones attention.

"You can get someone to leave by using magic?" Angel found that fascinating.

"It is rather simple. Some Latin and a bit of training do the trick," Tara explained: "But I don't know about him, he had an evil aura. Not like a vampire or so and I know him for a while, he usually had a good aura but all of a sudden it has changed. I cannot say what it means, but I do not like it."

Willow squeezed her hand: "I felt the same, but what could that mean?"

"I don't know and I don't care," Buffy shrugged: "There was no way in staying with him. It would only have hurt him. Besides his foolish behaviour in the graveyard he was a nice guy the whole time and I hope he will find someone who loves him the way he deserves it."

Everyone nodded in response and Angel smiled at her lovingly. She grinned: "So it is still early, I mean it is only four. Anyone an idea what we could do until tonight?"

"Picnic," Anya suggested.

"A film," came from Willow.

Buffy looked at Angel: "What do you think. After all you are local here. Is there anything we could do?"

"I am sorry, usually I," he looked at the floor: "I ... do not go out."

She smiled: "Old habbits, hmmm? Well we could go to see a film. I see where my father's newspaper is."

She got up and returned after a while studying the newspaper: "There is not really anything tempting," she sighed: "Then let's go to the park and enjoy the afternoon sun."

An hour later the gang was sitting in a little park near Mr. Summer's home. Anya and Xander were making out under a tree, Tara and Willow sat back to back on a blanket they had brought with them. Angel sat near them, his eyes closed and Buffy lay with her head in his lap. She smiled looking up at him. He looked so beautiful in the sunlight: "Angel," she began.

He looked down at her and smiled: "What?"

"Are you going to patrol tonight? I mean after the party at the club?"

He nodded: "Yes, I have to. This whole thing I talked to you before is just to strange to be careless."

She reached out and stroke his cheek: "I want to come with you."

"You are very welcome. It's always good to go with a slayer." He bowed his head down and caught her lips in a sweet kiss that grew more passionate in a second, but they broke apart when Willow sighed rather loudly beside them.

"What," Buffy looked at her friend.

Willow grinned: "I fear this is going to be a serious making out session," she said gazing over to Xander and Anya.

Buffy giggled: "Yeah. But who cares." With this she pulled Angel's head down again. Feeling him smile on her lips she looked at him: "What is it?"

He chuckled: "Nothing. You're cute."

"Am I," she grinned : "Well, that's nice." She sighed: "It's wonderful out here."

"As if you would have noticed," Willow teased.

Buffy shot her a dirty look: "I have noticed. Besides I know that park. My dad used to come here with me when I was a small child, you know."

Angel looked at his watch: "Which time are we meeting?"

"Seven straight," was Buffy's response.

"Maybe we should head back then. Knowing you it will need sometime for you to get ready," he grinned.

"Hey," she playfully punched his arms: "I am born good looking."

He smiled and kissed her again, then all got up and walked back to the house. Buffy tossed Willow the key and they went in. She stayed with Angel for a moment who was leaning against his car: "See you later," he whispered.

"I am going to miss you." Her lips almost on his.

"It's only an hour."

She sighed: "Yes, it's an eternity."

Angel laughed: "Go in and get ready. Meet you later."

Reluctantly she pulled back, blowing him a last kiss she went into the house.

When the car drove away a tall figure appeared behind a tree, tears were welling in his eyes, he had the feeling as if someone had hit him in his stomach. He loved this woman and now she was touching and kissing another man. A man that had once been a vampire. With a noise of disgust he turned and left.

Part Eight

"You know this is kinda nice club," Willow glanced lovingly over to Tara. The blonde only nodded in response, she wasn't very much into clubs but this was really nice, not as loud as usually.

"I am glad you like it," Buffy said and took Xander's arm to look at his watch. She frowned: "I wonder where he is. We said we'd meet at seven straight."

"Calm down, Buff, he will be here soon, I am sure of it," Xander tried to comfort her.

Buffy sighed: "I know I am overreacting, but he is no vampire anymore which means he is not as strong as he was. What if he overestimates his strength, what if he is attacked, what if..."

"Stop it, Buffy. That isn't doing any good."

"I know, Will, but I cannot change it," Buffy replied nervously biting on her lower lip. Suddenly her face brightened up: "Cordy, Wesley," she shouted at the two standing in the doorway, then her face fell again when they approached the
table: "Where is he?"

"Don't know. He'll come on his own he said, had some buisness to take care of. Someone called and he went off, he said we should not worry if he would be late."

"Not worry, hmm? Not worry, oh I am going to kill him," Buffy exclaimed. "I am already worrying. And he went all by himself?"

"Of course. But you don't have to worry, he is a trained fighter also without his vampire abilities," Wesley said.

"So when will you start at the agency, I mean start working," Cordelia tried to change the subject. When Buffy did not answer she repeated her question rising her voice.

Buffy's head snapped round: "Oh sorry, Cordy. Next week actually. But it will be mostly patrolling so not too much office work."

"Oh I don't know, I have a feeling we will see you in the office pretty often," the Brunette grinned.

"Hey, isn't that Riley in the doorway," Anya exclaimed suddenly and all heads turned round.

Buffy's gaze fell: "Well this was supposed to be a nice evening and now it turns out to become something ... well something completely different. I SO do not look forward seeing him," she said nodding at Riley.

The same moment Riley had seen Buffy and quickly came over to their table: "Hey guys," he said, then facing Buffy: "hey Buffy. It is good to see you."

"I wished I could say it is mutual but it is not. What are you doing here Riley?" Buffy's voice was low which meant she was rather angry.

Riley looked hurt: "I just wanted to see you. Appologize for my behaviour, my words ... you know," he streched out a hand: "maybe we could be friends." He gave her his best puppy dog expression and Buffy's anger disappeared.

She smiled: "I would like that. So, friends!" She took his hand and shook it.

Then Riley looked round: "Where is your ... errr ... Angel?"

"We are expecting him every minute," Cordelia snapped not liking the boy at all. Geez how old is he, she thought, he must be 24 and is still looking like a baby. And his clothes, god, this was so out of fashion. How could Buffy ever have dated him. She herself had dated Xander but this, this was just gross. She sighed loudly and everyone looked at her. "Nothing," she said quickly.

Buffy forgetting all about Riley standing next to her glanced again at Xander's watch and a twisting feeling entered her stomach. Something was wrong. When she felt everyone's concerned eyes on her, she smilied appologetically: "I am sorry, not the best mood. I am just worried. I have a bad feeling."

"Hey that is Angel's sentence," Xander tried to make a joke, but nobody laughed. It was alomst eight by now.

Buffy stood up appruptly: "I have to go, look for him."

Willow laid a hand on her arm: "And where? This is not Sunnydale, Buffy. LA is pretty big."

Buffy sighed in frustration: "You are right, but I cannot just sit here..."

The same moment Cordelia's cell phone rang: "Hello," she answered it. Everyone looked at her while she listened. When she finished her call she looked at Buffy: "I hate to say that, but you were right, Buffy."

"Right? What do you mean. Angel?" Buffy's voice barely a whisper.

Cordelia nodded her face now full of concern: "He is at the hospital. They found my number on a card to call in case of emergency. Let's go."

"How ... how bad?" Buffy's face was pale, her hands shaking.

"He did not say that, the doctor I mean. But when they had to use the card I would guess he was at least not conscious."

With this the gang headed out of the club and straight for the hospital leaving Riley behind them.

Willow and Tara were sitting quietly in the corner of the large waiting room, Xander and Anya stood in the other corner and were - surprisingly - not making out because the situation did not fit and Anya actually showed some concern. Wesley sat beside Tara. Cordelia leaned on the wall and Buffy had herself curled up in a chair, her face even paler than before. When they had arrived at the hospital the doctors had told them that Angel had been found by a woman in a dark street. He had been shot with two bullets in his chest and his heart had stopped on the way to the hopital. Luckily they had managed to revive him and he was now at surgery.

Thousands of thoughts were running through Buffy's mind but she was not able to focus on them. All she could feel was fear, they had just found out about their mutual feelings, she loved him so much and she could not loose him. Angel had just regained his humanity and now it should be taken away by some bullets. She closed her eyes to afraid to think about it anymore. Instead she tried to remember his kisses, his eyes, his mouth on hers.

Then the doctor came and Buffy nearly jumped out of the chair. He looked around: "Is there any family of Mr. ... Angel?"

"I am his fiancée," Buffy lied, well aware of hospitals only telling relatives about their patients. Ignoring the looks of her friends she gazed at the doctor who nodded at her.

"Now, Angel. As I told you before, he had two shots in his chest. We are glad we found the bullets and were able to remove them. He lost some blood but it was not as much as we thought first. So we are pretty sure he will fully recover, given time and enough rest."

He could hear the sounds of relief around him and smiled, that guy must be very lucky to have so many friends caring for him. He looked back at the blonde standing before him: "So Miss..."

"Summers."

"Miss Summers, do you want to see him?"

"Yes, of course."

The doctor nodded at the rest of the gang and showed her to follow him. In front of Angel's door he stopped her once again: "He is still very weak, Miss Summers, but he was really lucky. One bullet was near the main artery, if it had been only one inch to the right," he paused: "that would have been his death. He will not awake for some hours but if you want you can stay for a while."

Buffy nodded at him then entered the room. Tears sprung in her eyes when she saw him, pale and unconscious, hooked to numerous machines. She took a chair and sat beside him, carefully taking his hand in hers, pulling it to her mouth and kissing it. Then she put the hand down and reached out for his face, stroking the cheeks gently : "Oh god, Angel. I could have lost you tonight. Why on earth did you go out on your own, why did you not take me with you?" The tears were now running down her cheeks. "Don't you know that I need you. You cannot leave me, I could not bear it. Do you hear me!"

A gentle knock on the door and then Cordelia entered almost noiseless: "How is he?"

"The doctor said he will sleep for a while because of the anestetics, but he is going to be fine," she reached in her pocket and found her keys. Tossing them to Cordelia she said: "Tell them they should go home, getting some sleep. I will stay, I want to be with him when he wakes up."

Cordelia smiled: "I'll go and send them away. But I stay. No, don't look at me like that. Angel is the best friend I've ever had. He did so much for me, actually he changed my life, so there is no way leaving him now."

Buffy looked up and smiled at her gratefully: "I am glad you will stay. I could need some company."

Cordelia nodded and left and Buffy turned her attention back to the man she loved.

Part Nine

Buffy had a wonderful dream, she and Angel were walking through a large park. It belonged to one of the manor houses in Ireland. She and Angel were on their honeymoon and they had gone to his native country. The air was clear and the sun was shining. In the park were large oak trees, some of them hundreds of years old. Angel was smiling at her and pointing at a tree: "They are even older than me," he was saying :" I have never seen them before but it's as if I come back visiting old friends." Buffy kissed him softly: "I like it here, it's so peaceful. How is it called?" "It's called Powerscourt, it's one of the most famous buildings in Ireland." "When are we going to Galway, I want to see where you come from." "Soon, beloved, soon," he whispered before kissing her again.

Buffy's head shot up and she licked her lips, it was as if she could feel the dream kiss on them. Slowly she came back to reality and remembered she was in a hospital room - ANGEL, her mind said, quickly she turned her head.

"Hey," he said, smiling at her.

"Angel," she whispered back: "You're awake. God I am so happy." She leaned forward and kissed him gently. Pulling back she said: "We were so worried when you did not show yesterday and then..." she finally cried.

"Shhh, it's okay. I am going to be okay." He took her hand and squeezed her tightly.

"I know. The doctor told us but I have never been so scared before. I mean I was pretty scared when Spike and Drusilla kidnapped you, but this..."

"But it's over, Buffy. Please don't cry."

She rubbed her eyes: "I am sorry. It's a mix of exhaustion and relief I suppose," she tried to smile. "How do you feel?"

"As if I was shot," he tried to joke, but became serious again: "Better then I would expect. Maybe some of my supernatural abilities are still working. I am not sure."

"I am glad. You looked so pale and fragile last night."

"Fragile, uuh? Not a good thing for a guy's image."

"Stop it," she suddenly yelled, but calmed down instantly: "It's not funny. You could have died. What the hell were you thinking going after a demon on your own. And what demon shoots with a gun anyhow?"

Angel let go of her hand and reached out to stroke her cheek: "I am not dead, right? And I am used to go alone, I am not helpless, Buffy. I can fight for myself, sure I do not have my vampire strength anymore, but I have been training for over 200 years, so I am used to fight. And for the demon. I am not sure if there was a demon at all."

Her eyes grew wide: "What do you mean?"

"It's good to see you awake again," Cordelia exclaimed when she rushed through the door.

The ex-vampire quirked an eyebrow: "What are you doing here? Not quite your time of the day."

"She wanted to stay, she was really worried," Buffy explained.

"Please, don't ruin my image. I am not supposed to be worried. I am a major bitca, you remember."

"No you are not. And thank you," Angel simply stated.

She gave him a genuine smile: "I am glad you are back amongst the living. I just wanted to check on you. I have to go home to change, but I'll be back in the afternoon." She waved and left the room.

"She is a good friend," Buffy looked at Angel.

"That she is. She has changed a lot, she's grown up."

"So what did you say about you were not sure if it was a demon," she came back to the subject before they were interrupted.

Angel took her hand again: "I do not want to scare you, but I have the very bad feeling this was an ambush."

"What," Buffy gasped.

He nodded: "When I arrived at the place there were no signs of demons or vampires. Then I heard a very human noise and the next were the shots."

"A human noise."

"Someone was sneezing. Vampires or demons don't sneeze," he explained.

"Oh. But why and who?"

"No idea to both questions. But somehow I also have the feeling this is not over."

Buffy became pale and her hand was shaking: "You mean whoever did this might try again?"

"Please, Buffy. I did not want to scare you but I had to tell you, I do not want to have secrets."

"I am glad," she said: "but that does not mean I am not scared. Actually I am - horribly. Why do you think they will try it again?"

"Don't know, just a feeling. I mean whoever did this wanted me dead," Buffy tightened her grip on his hand and Angel continued: "That does not mean they will succeed. At least we now know."

"Oh and that makes everything better. Angel, someone wants to kill you, we do not know why and not who could be the person. How can you be so calm?"

"I have to say she is right."

Slayer and ex-vampire turned to see a blonde woman in her early thirties standing in the door. She entered and closed the door behind her: "Angel, I am glad you are going to be okay." Then she reached her hand out for Buffy: "Hey, I am Kate Lockley, LAPD."

Buffy took her hand: "I am Buffy Summers."

When Kate rose her eyebrows in question, Angel explained: "She is my girlfriend." Buffy smiled at him.

"Oh," was Kate's comment. "Well, Angel I am here for the case report. Do you think we could make a short interview. You were shot and the hospital reported it to us. When I saw your name I took the case."

Angel looked at Buffy: "Kate and I are helping each other with some cases. She is a friend." Buffy nodded and Angel turned back to Kate: "A case report. Well I got a phone call. A man telling me there was a demon in this street. When I arrived I did not see anything demon like, but I heard somone sneeze. Then the shots came and out I was."

"Sneeze," Kate asked in confusion.

"Yeah. Sneeze. Something only humans do," he explained : "So I am thinking more along the line of a human attacker."

"I see," she nodded. "Did you see anything, smell anything."

"No, I am sorry. All I can say is that it was well planned. Like someone who had done these things before. Maybe an army guy or so."

Kate nodded again: "Who found you?"

"I do not know."

Buffy took his hand: "The doctor told me it was a woman. But he might be able to tell you the name."

"Okay," she stood up: "thanks for the details. I will call you if we have any news. When will you go home?"

Angel shrugged: "I don't know, hopefully soon."

"You will stay as long as you have to," Buffy said, her voice serious.

"Fine," Kate said : "however we'll be in contact. Was nice meeting you Buffy." With this she left the room.

"She has a crush on you," Buffy stated.

Angel rolled his eyes: "Oh, please, she is just a friend."

She kissed him: "That's how you feel for her, but she would want more, I can see that. I am a woman myself. She nearly eats you with her eyes."

Angel grinned: "You're jealous."

"No," she protested. "No, really I am not. I am not afraid of her. I know you love me."

"That I do. And I know you love me."

"Do you? Well then it has to be true." She smiled and kissed him again.

"Sorry to interrupt," the doctor's voice came from the door. "But we have to make a check on him now. This will need about an hour or two, could you wait outside, Miss."

Angel took Buffy's hand: "Why don't you go home for a while?"

"No, I don't want..."

"Go. Have a shower, breakfast and come back later. I am fine."

"You're sure?"

"I am, now go."

Buffy kissed him again and hesitantly left the room.

"Now ... err ... Angel, how are we today," the doctor began.

The gang was already sitting at the table in the dining room when Buffy entered the house. All were asking questions about Angel and she told them he was going to be fine and that he still seemed to heal quickly. She also told them what Angel had said about the ambush. Then she headed for the shower.

"Who would want to shoot deadboy?"

"We don't know, but I do not like that," Willow answered : "Look at Buffy, she is exhausted. Yesterday she was scared to death. She really loves him and there is a possibility she could loose him. How horrible."

Tara cleared her throat: "Guys, I-I,"

"What?" Xander demanded.

"Did she... she said ... I mean h-he said something about a human that attacked him, right," the blonde said.

"Right." Willow looked at her quizzically: "What are you thinking about?"

"Isn't he in demon things usually," Tara asked.

"Yes. Why? What is it Tara?" Willow became impatient. Sometimes her girlfriend was a little bit to shy.

"So I-I would guess that he did not have m-many human cases. I-I mean."

Suddenly Willow's face brightened: "You are right. We have to go through his files, maybe we find something."

"Find what," came Buffy's voice from the doorway. She was in a robe and had a towel around her head. Xander stood up and got a mug for her to pour her some coffee. She took the cup from him and nodded gratefully.

"Tara had a good idea, Buffy," Willow explained. "The guy who shot Angel, well if he was human we should go through Angel's files. He was dealing with demons and stuff, so the actually 'human' cases have to be only few."

"You are right, Will. We could make a list of the people that could hate Angel and check these persons." Buffy's mood was better in an instant. Now she could do something. "What about you guys going to the office. Cordy will be there. I am coming later, I have to check on Angel first."

When Willow, Xander, Tara and Anya arrived at Angel Investigations, Cordelia was not there. Instead of her Wesley opened the door: "Good morning everybody," he greeted them. "Can I help you?"

"Actually you can, we would like to go through Angel's files," Willow said.

"His files? Why?"

Willow explained everything to the ex-watcher and he agreed in an instant. He went to make some tea and the gang began their work.

Angel was asleep when Buffy came back to the hospital. So she left the room after a second and went to see the doctor. He smiled when he saw her: "Miss Summers, nice to see you."

"Doctor?"

"Oh, I forgot yesterday. Davies, my name is Davies."

"How is he," Buffy asked.

"He is very well. Better then we would have expected. I have never seen wounds heal that fast. I think we will keep him here for two more days then he can go. But you have to promise to have an eye on him. He has to rest when he gets home and I have a feeling he does not like to be treated this way," he smiled.

Buffy sighed: "You can bet on it. But I will watch him and he will rest even if I have to tie him to the bed."

The doctor laughed: "Fine. Is there anything else?"

"Actually. The woman who found him, do you know her name? I would like to thank her", Buffy said. It was only half the truth. She was hoping the person could have seen anything to identify the attacker.

"No, I am sorry. She only called the ambulance. When they arrived she was already gone and she did not say her name when she was on the phone."

Buffy nodded: "I see. What a pitty. I better go now and see him."

"Sure, see you then, Miss Summers."

Part Ten

The next two days were mostly spent with reading through Angel's files and the gang was surprised how busy he had been. From time to time there was a disgusted sound to be heard or a look to be seen when they read through one of the most ugly cases. 'Now you see what I have to deal with' Cordelia said then proudly. She felt somehow superior because she had dealt with things that were new for the Sunnydale-gang. Wesley would shake his head then, grinning slightly but becoming serious when he recieved a glare from the former cheerleader. Buffy helped most of the time but left some hours to stay with Angel at the hospital. He recovered fast and all the staff in the hospital came to see the miracle happening in room No. 45. A patient shot with two bullets who was almost fully recovered when he was released only three days later. Nobody had seen something like that before. One young doctor even asked Angel if he could use him for a medical report he had to do, but Angel and Buffy decided it was to risky because none of them knew if Angel was truly human. Obviously not completely as the last three days had shown.

At the time, Buffy and Angel entered the office the gang had made a list of possible suspects. When the they saw Angel they greeted him heartily. He smiled: "Hey guys. Thanks for the welcome."

"How do you feel," Cordelia asked.

"Fine, really. I am the miracle of the LA-General Hospital," he joked.

"They wanted to study him," Buffy giggled.

"They wanted what?" Cordelia did not understand a word.

"A young doctor came and asked me if he could make a paper of my case. But as we do not know if they could find things they better shouldn't we said no," Angel explained. He walked over to his desk and sat down in his chair. He looked round: "Buffy told me you were going through the files. Did you find anything?"

"In fact we did," Wesley handed his boss a list. "These are the cases where we had to deal with human criminals. Thanks to Cordelia's filing practice we had a hard time to find them."

"Hey, what is wrong with my filing. I am fine with it, I can find anything I want."

"It's okay, Cordelia," Angel sighed, not willing to discuss that matter now. "So we have this list. The best is we would split into teams and check the people. But please be careful. All of them are dangerous people. First of all we should find out if some of them are still in jail." He reached for the phone. After a short time someone seemed to answer it. "Hey Kate. It's Angel... yes, I am home ... fine. Do you have some news?... I see ... yes, I am not surprised. Listen Kate, I have a favour to ask. We have made a list of human criminals the agency had to deal with. Could you check it for me? ... No. I just want you to check if any of them are still in jail or even dead. Could you do that? ... Great, thanks. Okay, I fax the list right away." He handed the paper over to Cordelia who put it into the fax.

"You should lay down, now," Buffy told Angel.

He sighed: "I will. Later. I want to wait for Kate's answer. It should be only five minutes. She usually is quick with things like these."

"No. You can wait downstairs," Buffy walked over to him, grabbed his arm and pulled him to the stairs. He gave the others a smile and let her lead him downstairs.

"So we are damned to wait," Xander said.

Anya's head shot up: "Does Angel have another spare room?"

"Why," Wesley asked in confusion.

"Oh Wesley, grow up," Cordelia exclaimed. "Yes he has. Make yourself free to use it. It is downstairs to the left, just before you go into Angel's apartment."

Anya got up instantly and pulled Xander with her. The girls in the office shook their heads and grinned. Wesley still did not understand what had been so funny.

"Buffy, do not treat me like that. I am fine."

"No, you are not," she insisted. "You were shot, you nearly died and the doctor said you had to rest. So you are lying down now."

The ex-vampire sighed: "Fine, if this pleases you." He removed his coat and went over to the bedroom where he lied down in his full clothes. Buffy was right behind him and sat herself on the edge of the bed. Angel smiled: "I am really fine, not even tired."

"Do you want anything? Are you thirsty or hungry?" Buffy looked into the direction of the kitchen.

Angel shook his head: "No. Buffy, come here." He patted on the other side of the bed. The slayer looked at him and after a short hesitation she placed herself beside him. He took her hand: "What is it? Are you still scared?"

She nodded after a short while: "Yes. I am. I nearly lost you, Angel. This was close. I never really thought something like this could happen. You always ... you were so strong, almost invincible. When Darla shot you, you were on your feet only some minutes later to save my life and even after Spike kidnapped you - the recovery was in no time. But now that you are human you are the more vulnerable."

He cupped her cheek in his right hand and forced her to look at him: "Are you regretting it? That I am not a vampire anymore?"

"No," she answered quickly. "That is not what I meant. I am glad you are human, incredibly happy in fact, because we can be together now. Maybe because I know you are my one true love I am so scared to loose you. Because I know I could not stand to be without you." A single tear run down her cheek. Angel captured it with his thumb and weeped it away gently.

He smiled: "You are not going to loose me, Buffy. And if it helps the feeling of fear is mutual. I know you are the slayer and you are strong. But I always fear for your life. You are constantly in danger, fighting demons and vampires, because that is your destiny and it is an important part of you. Knowing this I had to try to hide my fear - otherwise it would have driven me insane. I had to learn to believe in your strength. But still there is that feeling one battle could be your last."

"Well not anymore, as I am no official slayer anymore."

"But you will work with me, so you will fight anyway. And as I said before, it is an important part of you, it is part of your personality. You have seen to much to just live a normal life again. So we have to live with the danger, deal with it somehow and believe that the other one is strong."

"You are right and know that. But it is still hard," she swallowed to stop another tear from falling.

"I know. And it will always be. But together we can make it, I am sure of that." He smiled at her assuringly. Then he cupped both her cheeks in his hands and kissed her. Breaking the kiss after a while he smiled again: "I love you."

"I love you too. So very much." She smiled back now: "And I will try to believe in our strength."

Angel kissed her again.

"There it is," Cordelia exclaimed when the fax started to work. She reached over and pulled the paper out. "There are six names left on the list. The others are either dead or in jail. Good work Kate." She frowned: "I cannot believe I said that about Kate of all people."

"Cordelia does not get along with Kate," Wesley explained to Willow and Tara and Willow nodded understandigly. Cordelia was Cordelia after all.

"Whatever," Cordelia payed not attention to him. "We should go get the others."

"I go to Buffy and Angel," Willow exclaimed and quickly went down the stairs.

"And who is going for Anya and Xander," Cordelia asked and looked around.

"So we have six names, " Angel said when they finally were all together in the office. "We split in teams and look for them, but only look, no questions. Is that understood? No contact!" He looked around and gave everyone a serious look. When they all nodded he continued: "Fine. So Willow and Tara you get that one." He wrote the first name and adress on a little note paper and handed it to the couple. They nodded and went away. The same procedure he did with Anya and Xander and with Wesley who went on his own. When they all had left, he turned to Buffy: "We are taking the last three."

She looked at him doubtfull: "Do you really..."

"I am fine, Buffy. Can we go now?"

She tried to remember their earlier conversation, nodded and they both headed for the car.

In a cheap motel room a young man looked at a young woman. She was pretty, a pretty whore. He had met her last night out in the streets. She was so much like her, blonde and a small frame. But it had not been satisfying. She felt different, she smelled differet. He made himself believe he was making love to her, whispering her name all the time.

She rose her head: "You know you have to pay again if I am staying," she said.

"You are not her," was his simple answer, then he turned and said: "Go."

She pulled her clothes on and left as soon as she could, this guy was just creepy.

On to Part Eleven