Part Six

"I do hope I'm doing this right?" Giles' forehead crinkled into small lines of concentration as he read from an ancient book held in one hand, while scattering a fist full of herbs with the other.

"We beseech access to the knowing ones" he called out as a lighted match was added to the blend. A flash of brilliance ignited the herbs and instantly the porthole to the other dimension was opened. Giles blinked uncomfortably at the intensity of light coming from the other world and placed an apprehensive hand on the Slayer's small arm

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he turned to Buffy but, sadly, already knew the answer to his question. There was a deep-set resolve imprinted clearly over her tired eyes, a resolve that spoke out loud and clear. Nothing on earth could stop her.

The flight home had been extremely difficult. Within seconds of the plane taking off, Buffy had feigned a deep sleep, Giles accepted that this was her way of avoiding any more difficult questions and he let the masquerade continue all the way to LA.

**Besides, this whole mess was all his fault** Giles was consumed with guilt for bringing the girl to England in the first place, he should have known better than to have taken such stupid risks. Even though he truly believed that Angel was safely out of the country, he should have realised that he was tempting the hands of fate by bringing Buffy across the ocean.

**Fate had never played fair where Buffy was concerned** he looked into the shattered face of the girl *sleeping* in the next seat and mentally kicked himself for his stupidity.

Giles knew he had gambled heavily with fate and had lost. Because of his carelessness, he was being forced to pay the price and watch the surrogate daughter he loved so dearly suffer all over again. Only in some ways, this was far worse. The first time Buffy had let Angel go, it had been for an honourable reason, and although it had almost killed her, she had managed to do it with her head held high. The last thing she had ever expected was to have to do it all over again. Giles' worse fear was that Buffy wasn't strong enough to walk away twice. Not walk away and survive intact that was.

The long journey continued in silence and, by the time they had reached LA, Buffy had already determined her next move. After grabbing one of Angel's old books and paying a quick visit to the local magic store, the enraged Slayer and her loyal watcher headed straight for the Post Office sewers.

**We beseech access to the knowing ones**

Buffy hated that goddamn flash of light, it always left her feeling slightly disorientated, and that made her vulnerable.

**Both these feelings really pissed her off** and In her present state of mind, that alone could've been fatal.

Taking her anger in both hands, she marched forcefully into the bright marble chamber, raring for a fight.

"Come before us, Slayer. What have you brought us?" the female Oracle was there in an instant, her pale blue eyes flickering over the troubled human.

**What have *I* bought you** The slayer's wrath multiplied with each arrogant word, she folded her arms across her chest as her fingers itched to rip the Oracle's smug painted head off its shoulders.

"How about a fistful of Buffy, if don't get the right answers?" she replied dangerously, her large hazel eyes flashing the extent of her hatred.

Buffy could feel the tension flowing all around her, it was so potent it almost crackled in the air above.

At that point the male Oracle joined its' sister and the two higher beings turned and faced each other.

"She is still so full of rage" the male spoke ignoring Buffy completely. The very fact that the Slayer had once again forced her presence before them was far too irksome for their liking.

"Somethings never change" the sister haughtily agreed. Neither Oracle showed any surprise at the Slayer's presence, in fact it seemed they had almost anticipated the visit.

Buffy was almost spitting venom she was so angry with their apparent lack of interest

**Somethings never change?**

"Oh, you got that one wrong" her voice dripped in sarcasm at the irony. **Things had changed big time**

The Oracles both turned their expressionless eyes towards the Slayer, neither making any attempt to question her statement

"Five years ago you made me a promise, you said that if I let Angel go he would live a perfect life with no memories of the past. " Buffy's own hazel orbs stared straight back, with a look so cold it could have frozen time itself.

"And he is" this time the Oracles defended themselves. Liam Price was living an almost perfect life, just as they had foretold.

"The memories of Angelus can never return, the crimes have been washed clean from his soul." the male added for extra confirmation.

Buffy moved slowly forward, her whole body was buzzing with pent up emotion, just longing for an excuse to open the release valve and blow.

"So how do you explain what happened in that alley way in London? Does this perfect life include turning my lover into a crazed stalker that jumps on women for no apparent reason?" she blazed back at them barely holding temper

**How many other girls had he. Stop. Bad visual**

"What happened between the two of you in that alley way has nothing to do with the existence we created for Angel. We washed the soul clean of all the demon's crimes but traces of the soul's heart remained. Traces we have no power over and, if left alone, these traces would have stayed dormant for the rest of his natural life"

"I don't understand" Buffy hated how these creatures always spoke in riddles. **Either Angel remembered or he didn't, and what the hell was a trace?**

"His soul was unknowingly reaching for yours, Angel doesn't have any memories of you but he can still feel you. In its' truest form, real love can never be forgotten, it's the strongest emotion in the whole universe and it leaves it's mark on the soul. That was the trace of emotion we couldn't remove. When you were thrown together the soul recognised its mate and tried to reach out for it"

Buffy felt a deep sense of relief that it was indeed her soul that Angel had reached for and not just a body. But the relief was quickly pushed aside by anger, somebody had to pay for the pain she was suffering

"You should have warned me this could happen." she knew the moment the words passed her lips that the argument was pointless What could she have possibly done to prevent it?. There was always the slightest possibility that one day their paths could accidentally cross again, it was after all a very small world.

For the first time the Oracles actually looked flustered.

"We didn't see it coming. A gypsy blessing has been attached to his soul, It had enough power to awaken his deepest emotions and disturb those traces we couldn't remove" The Oracles reluctantly admitted their failure.

"Gypsy?" Buffy voice wavered slightly at the implications.

"He saved a life and received a Romany blessing. The new life we inlaid for Angel has now drastically altered direction. This soul is now following an identical cycle to his past life. The gypsy blessing has started this cycle and it can't be stopped. Meeting you, loving you. "

"And let's not forget leaving me, that's what always happened next" Buffy interrupted bitterly. That was how the cycle always ended, she really didn't need that part spelled out for her.

**Angel always left**

"If that is his destiny, that is what will happen, you can not prevent it"

Buffy looked at both the Oracles without hiding the deep contempt she felt for their lies, despite all their promises they had messed up again.

**But no more**

Buffy was sick to death of the PTB screwing with her life. Taking a deep breath she vowed it was time to take her destiny into her own hands

**Nobody would ever hurt her again**

"You're wrong, I can prevent it and what's more, I will"

"Buffy? What did they say?" Giles' voice was so full of love and concern that Buffy just wanted to sink into his arms and hide from the world.

"Cliff notes version, it's all been for nothing, the last five years of hell, everything, for nothing." Buffy bit her bottom lip determined not to cry. Tears had no part in the new Buffy's make up, tears were a thing of the past.

"But, but how can he possibly remember?" Giles asked, flabbergasted that the Oracles could have gone back on their word.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders, no matter what the Oracles had explained, none of it made any sense to her. Angel would never remember her and yet he was destined to find her.

"It seems yet another cosmic fuck up has started the ball rolling all over again and, here's the best part, it's heading my way. It's called *let's rewind and play out all the heartache again*" Buffy laughed but the sound was almost hysterical in its' bitterness

"Angel is once again destined to find me, love me and.....Well, you know what comes next.." Buffy trailed off unable to continue.

Giles held the small girl in his arms and softly stroked her hair.

"Buffy, destinies are not always written in stone. Circumstances are different this time, who knows what the outcome will be" Giles offered as helpfully as possible. He hated to see such despair in those beautiful eyes. It just wasn't fair.

" Angel leaves, that's what he does, that's what he always does. It doesn't matter if he's a vampire or a human, in the end he can't help himself" Buffy sadly remembered the conversation she and Angel had shared the day they had laid in each others arms waiting for the meteorite to end the world. Angel had told her all about her own forgotten day. The day he had found himself human, the day the world had been theirs for the asking, only Angel gave it up albeit for her, but in the end he still gave it up.

Giles placed his hands on top of Buffy's shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes, past the pain, as if trying to connect with her very heart.

"It doesn't necessarily have to be that way again. You and Angel were never meant to find life easy, you were always expected to fight, maybe you still have a chance to fight for each other. I'm serious, Buffy. Destinies are not always written in stone" Giles replied truthfully and hoped with all his heart she understood his meaning.

Buffy sighed, but she simply didn't have enough strength left in her to believe any longer

"I wish with all my heart that was true. I want to believe in forever and soul mates and everything that accompanies that dream but, it will never happen. You seem to have forgotten one tiny thing, I'm allergic to happy endings"

Four months later

Wesley pushed open the front door and rushed to answer the ringing phone.

"Cordelia, God it's good to hear your voice" he sighed sinking into the nearest chair. He was shattered, both physically and mentally and just the sound of Cordelia's sweet voice filled his heart with comfort.

"How's Angel doing?" Cordelia asked coming straight to the point.

She was far too worried these days for both of her friends to waste time with idle chit-chat.

The last four months had been hell on all of them, it was as if they were all sitting on a hidden time bomb and nobody knew the exact time of detention. Once again their lives had been thrown into complete chaos.

After returning from London, Buffy had decided she could no longer work for Angel Investigations. Cordelia and Gunn could hardly believe the change that had taken over the Slayer; it was almost too painful to watch. Buffy had closed down, she became cold and hard and built a high wall around herself guaranteeing that nobody would ever be able to touch her again. It was only after Giles had explained what the Oracles had foretold, that they finally understood the change. Buffy might not be able to stop Angel finding her, but she could prevent him from getting close. After making her decision to leave, Buffy had kissed her friends goodbye and returned to the only place on earth that she could possibly hope to find the support she would need. She was finally going home, back to Sunnydale where her family and friends would cocoon her and protect her from the outside world and more importantly, from Liam Price.

The only thought in Buffy's head as she drove the two hours back to Sunnydale with Giles, was that fate wouldn't break her heart a second time, she wouldn't give it the chance.

"I just don't know what to do for the best anymore "

Cordelia immediately became concerned by the tone in the Englishman's voice. There was genuine despair hidden between his words.

"Angel's completely obsessed with finding Buffy, it's taken over his whole life. The dreams are becoming much stronger and clearer; it's as if they are draining the life out of him. He wakes up each morning exhausted and then spends the rest of the day trying to decipher their meanings. Of course, It's getting him nowhere and it's ripping him in two but he doesn't seem to care." Wesley shuddered as if a cold breeze had rushed over him but, it wasn't a nip in the air that had chilled him, it was the fear in his heart, fear that was increasing with each new day. Wesley knew only too well that something was about to break

"Giles has been helping me research and despite what the Oracles said, Angel knows that something is wrong. Of course, he'd heading in completely the wrong direction. The other week I caught him researching reincarnation and then I found a book he had hidden on schizophrenia....He's just so confused" Wesley closed his eyes and wondered what on earth to do next.

"This has got to stop"**Reincarnation** **schizophrenia** Cordelia sounded even more shocked as she took in this new information.

"I was hoping this obsession with finding Buffy would die out but its not, if anything it's getting worse. Angel's tormented and he doesn't understand why and dammit , it's not right. Wesley quickly brought his anger under control for fear of frightening Cordelia any further. When he continued it was in a much more rational tone.

"I wish I knew what to tell him, I wish I knew what would put his mind at ease" he exhaled with a deep rattle of frustration that nothing could prevent.

"Well, maybe it's time he was given the choice, maybe you should just tell him the truth?" the soft female voice made so much sense that Wesley wanted to cry with gratitude. He had been having the same thought for days but Giles, for his own reasons, was staunchly against the idea. One wanted to protect Buffy and the other was desperate to release Angel from his torment. The two Englishmen had argued the pros and cons for hours but still they couldn't agree. Now, sadly, a cold stalemate had resulted.

"I'm so worried, Cordelia. I haven't seen him for two days" Wesley replied sadly and thought for the hundredth time about going behind Giles' back and to hell with it.

**But what would you possibly say that would sound sane?** he repeatedly questioned. Turning his attention back to Cordelia, Wesley noticed that the line had gone very quiet; all he could hear was the sound of the woman's heavy breathing.

"Sweetheart, are you all right?" Wesley asked, feeling a slight panicking sensation as the silence continued.

When Cordelia finally returned to the phone her voice sounded strangely quiet.

" I think you can stop worrying about where Angel is, he's just about to walk though our door" came the very hushed reply.

Part Seven

Angel turned his hire car into a small side street and switched off the ignition. Running his hands through his hair; he sat quietly for a few minutes trying to make sense of the madness that, over the last four months, had consumed his life.

**What the hell was he doing still chasing this dead dream? ** He asked himself for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

Sitting there alone with his thoughts, Angel knew that he'd been asking that same question now for weeks. On one side of the coin he was desperate to put his life back on track, concentrate solely on his work at the museum and forget this mystery girl nonsense once and for all. But, every time he tried, the dreams returned with a vengeance. Angel was instantly haunted with images so breathtakingly beautiful that his resolve to find Buffy Summers became even stronger than before.

But despite the strength of his determination, he had failed and failed miserably. Weeks of long distance phone calls and continuous visits to the US embassy had resulted in nothing but dead ends and frustration. So, after four months of searching, the only information Angel had in his possession was that the girl in the picture lived and worked in LA.

**Los Angeles, a city he had never been to in his entire life.... A city that held the answers to his nightmares**

Angel was torn, torn between wanting to find the girl and wanting to rediscover some sort of peace of mind. These days, he had almost forgotten what it felt like to feel at peace with himself, what it felt like to wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and ready to face the challenges of a brand new day.

Nowadays when he woke each morning, he was already exhausted from the hours of cryptic dreams that spun around his subconscious night after night, refusing to release their hold on his soul.

The dreams had slowly changed direction and over the last few weeks they had been filled with images so horrific in their detail that he was almost afraid to close his eyes. Yet, in the middle of this madness he would always find her. Swirling slightly out of his reach, his fingers would stretch out and just as he was about to touch her, demons and darkness would rip her away from him. That's how it ended, night after night, beauty, demons and darkness. It was all insane.

Something had to give.

Something did.

Angel found himself sitting on a flight to Los Angeles before he even realised what he was doing. Phone calls were simply not enough, if he was ever going to find this girl and take back his life, he knew the only person that could do something about it, was him.

So, with nothing more to go on than a blurred photograph, a strange sounding name and the city of LA, he made the decision and went for it.

Struggling with a large complex street map, a city that drove on the wrong side of the road and a strong feeling of deja vu, Liam Price left the airport and started his search.

Angel was lost, tired, hungry and extremely pissed off by the time he pulled his compact hire car off the main street and parked to re-check his map .

Looking out of the car's side window for directions, his eyes caught sight of a small office with a large silver angel hanging over the door's entrance. Drawn by curiosity, Angel left the car and walked across the pavement to take a closer look.

"Angel Investigations " he read the sign aloud and liked the way it sounded.

**Angel**

In his heart he knew that Buffy was somehow tied up with the name Angel, that much he was sure of.

**Angel Investigations.... Well if that wasn't an omen, nothing was**

Angel smiled, feeling that things might just be looking up after all. This place had a good feel about it, and maybe an American detective agency would have better luck finding Buffy Summers than he ever would.

Slipping his hand in his jacket pocket, Angel pulled out the small plastic card he carried with him everywhere he went. Gently stroking the fading features that were now printed on his heart, his lips twitched into the tiniest of smiles.

"Soon, beloved" he whispered softly as his thumb brushed over the flat surface of the card.

**Beloved**

Angel wondered where such a strange statement had come from, it was weird, because he had never used the word *Beloved* in his all life.

**The sooner this was over the better**

Angel pushed open the large glass door and walked in.

Cordelia Chase would never know just how talented an actress she really was. Her performance was flawless as she ended her conversation with Wesley and calmly replaced the receiver. Not a single flicker of recognition crossed her beautiful features as she looked up, through long dark lashes, and smiled through her statutory greeting.

As the words left her lips she was torn between the desire to hug her friend with sheer joy after so many years apart, and the need to slap his face for putting Wesley through so much worry over the last few months. Cordelia resisted both urges and continued to play out the masquerade.

"Can I help you?"

Angel felt strangely at ease as he walked closer and held out his hand

"Hello, my name is Liam Price and I'd like to employ you to find somebody for me" he waited for a few seconds and when it became obvious that the young woman behind the desk was not going to return his greeting he lowered his hand feeling slightly embarrassed.

**So much for American hospitality** he thought as he studied the woman behind the desk. There was something about her eyes that fascinated him, Angel found the woman incredibly beautiful but there was no physical attraction, she wasn't Buffy, she was lovely but, she wasn't Buffy.

Cordelia looked at the outstretched hand and swallowed hard, making no attempt to move. She might have been playing the part of her life but even she couldn't risk touching his hand. The way her fingers were trembling at that moment would have been a dead give-away that something wasn't right.

"I'm afraid we don't do missing persons" her voice responded so normally that, for a second, she had serious doubts that she was the one speaking.

Unwittingly, Cordelia then found herself staring; she simply couldn't help it. For the very first time in all the years she had known Angel she noticed changes - subtle things - but there were definitely changes. And then it struck her; it was the sunlight enhancing his appearance, it reflected off his body lightening every aspect of his being.

That was the main difference, Angel now radiated light. His skin, his hair, even his clothes, were alive with a flash of vibrant colour.

And then there was his voice, it was the same rich husky tone but, he now spoke with an English accent. Her old friend might have only said a few words so far but it was very clear, Angel sounded a cross between Giles and Spike with a little Wesley thrown in for good measure. Cordelia resisted the smile that accompanied that thought. If Angel decided to stay in America that accent would definitely have to go.

"Excuse me?"

When she realised he had asked her a question Cordelia pulled her fascinated eyes away and turned back into the actress of the year.

"I thought the sign said investigations? So what do you investigate?" Angel asked looking back at the sign painted right across the window.

Cordelia chewed nervously on the pen in her hand as she considered her reply

"It's complicated" she started but decided that telling Angel anything more might be a mistake. Although he had been in the office now a full five minutes and she was sure by the look on his face that he clearly hadn't recognised her, Cordelia really didn't want to say anything more until she had checked back with Wesley and Gunn. She snapped her head up on realising that Angel had continued with his questions.

"Then maybe you could suggest somebody else that could help me, I need to find this girl" Angel opened his hand and offered a small photograph.

**Oh, shit** Cordelia silently muttered as the image of the one girl she could never help him find, came into view.

**Wesley hadn't told her that Angel now had a picture of Buffy** At that point Cordelia's brain went into overload, knowing that if they didn't offer to take the case, Angel would just turn around and find somebody else who would, and knowing their luck....

"Mr. Price, please take a seat, I'm sorry. Of course we can help you, let's get some details" she dropped down into her own seat and smiled until her cheeks hurt.

Thirty minutes later...

Cordelia picked up the phone and quickly dialled the number committed to memory.

"He's just left the office. No, of course I couldn't stop him leaving. What do you suggest, that I tie him up? He wants us to find Buffy for him. No, I didn't turn him down, I told him we'd take the case and then I gave him the address of a convenient Hotel, that way we know where he is and what he is doing" Cordelia quickly volleyed back the answers to Wesley's onslaught of questions.

After a few minutes Wesley panic attack seemed to die out and he admitted that under the circumstances, Cordelia had handled the situation amazingly well.

"Thank you, I agree. I was pretty damn convincing" she finally laughed as a little of the tension, she too had been feeling, started to slip away.

Cordelia then stopped congratulating herself as she realised they were far from out of the woods. Angel was now waiting for them to get in touch with him and from the impatient look on his face, he wouldn't be waiting too long.

"Okay, so that was the easy part out of the way but, Wesley, What the hell are we going to do next?"

Part Eight.
Two days later

"Thank you so much for coming, please take a seat" Wesley considered shaking hands with his visitors but wasn't quite sure if the gesture was appropriate. Actually, from the look in the other men's eyes, Wesley wouldn't have been surprised if the greeting had been returned via a punch in the mouth. After all, he had used every threat under the sun to force the Sunnydale party into attending the meeting. *Blackmail* was indeed a dirty word; but Wesley had given up caring about playing dirty, two days earlier, when Angel had calmly walked into Cordelia's office and employed her to find Buffy.

That turn of events had changed all the rules and now, as far as he was concerned, all bets were off.

The frantic late night phone call to Giles, after travelling for nearly twelve hours straight, had made his position very clear. Either the Scooby's arrive for the meeting in LA, and deal with this mess once and for all, or they live with the consequences. Much to his relief, the threat had been taken seriously.

There was of course one small fly in the ointment. How would Buffy cope with the news that Angel was now in LA. and, more importantly, that he was getting closer by the second?

Giles had made his position on that very clear before slamming down the phone. **Buffy would be told of this meeting over his dead body. She had enough to worry about without hanging all this obsession crap around her small shoulders. ** Wesley had no doubt that the only reason they had, reluctantly, agreed to meet was to send Angel straight back to England, as soon as possible with no questions asked.

**Boy, were they in for a surprise** he thought as he replaced the buzzing receiver.

Rupert Giles entered the room, closely followed by Xander and heavily pregnant Anya Harris. All three looked far from happy as they made their way to the large table situated in the middle of the office. To say the summons to LA had not been received well was the understatement of the year. The Scoobys were seriously pissed off.

"Hello Cordelia" Giles at least tried to sound polite as he took the vacant seat next to the ex cheerleader. He then turned and silently acknowledged Gunn, the other member of the LA party whilst waiting for Wesley to take his seat.

"Right, well we all know why we're here, I suggest we sort this mess out once and for all." Wesley took a deep breath. He knew at once, just by the look of determination plastered across Giles' and Xander's faces, that this meeting was going to be one of the hardest battles he had ever fought.

Years earlier he might have shrunk back at the responsibility, but not any longer. Wesley was a much different man to the weakling Watcher of his Sunnydale days and, with his new found strength, he refused to let the two angry men opposite intimidate or undermine him in any way.

**Besides, he hadn't had a real fight in over five years now and some things really were worth getting down and dirty for ** The younger Englishman had no doubt that if push came to shove, the situation would get more than a little dirty. If the six of them couldn't agree on a course of action, things could get damn right bloody.

Setting his eyes with his own look of determination, he continued

"Five years ago, most of us in this room made the difficult decision that it would be in Angel's best interest to start a new life out of this country, with no memory of either his or the demon's past."

As he spoke, Wesley's eyes flickered towards Cordelia asking for silent approval that the speech was moving in the right direction, when she smiled and nodded affectionately, he grew in confidence and pushed ahead

"At the time, although this was an extremely painful decision, especially for Buffy, it seemed the right thing for all concerned."

Although nobody interrupted, the tension in the room seemed to multiply at the sound of Buffy's name. Both Giles' and Xander's eyes never once left his face as they waited to see where all this was leading.

They didn't have to wait long.

"But, circumstances have now changed, and on reflection, I think we all made a big mistake by not giving Angel the choice about his past" Wesley took a slight pause, the room fell so silent you could've heard a pin drop six blocks down as each member waited the outcome.

"...And on this reflection I think we should put it right" Wesley's fingers gripped the edge of table until his knuckles turned white, before delivering the final punch

" I propose we tell Angel the truth" he rattled out the last few words like machine gun fire and braced himself for the counter attack.

He didn't have to wait long.

"THE HELL WE WILL!!" Xander exploded right back with all the force of a V2 rocket. He'd known this was coming from the second he'd walked through the door, **No fucking way was that happening, he'd kill the smarmy Brit first**

Uproar split the room right down the middle, as both sides stood their ground and refused to give an inch. It was almost like old times, when the two small groups rallied around their own chosen one with fierce loyalty. Politeness went out the window as each member of the room shouted out their own point of view and damned anybody who dared to disagree.

"The man is tormented, the one part of his dream that consistently screams out night after night is that * it wasn't his choice*. He needs to be told!!" Wesley slammed his hand down hard in frustration, a large pitcher of ice water shuddered in the middle of the table with the force of the blow; its' contents slopping messily over the polished wood.

Anya rolled her eyes at the testosterone induced action and started soaking up the spilt water with loose paper sheets before it soaked her clothing.

The other two at the table watched while Giles, Xander and Wesley continued to shout each other down as the argument heated towards boiling point. By then, nobody could understand a word of what anyone else was saying.

Wesley shook his head in disgust, he couldn't believe how little compassion the other two men showed for Angel's pain.

**In their eyes nothing had ever really changed, once a monster always a monster** he silently fumed and attacked the table instead of one of their faces.

The older watcher was just as frustrated as he jumped to his feet and almost growled.

"And who do you think should tell him. You? Me? Or maybe we could ask Buffy, I'm sure she would just love the job. I can just see her happy little face as she drops that bombshell.... Oh wait, we can't do that, Buffy's only holding on by her finger nails as it is" Giles' eyes were beyond furious that these people, who supposedly loved the girl as much as he did, could want to see her crumble even further.

** Angel might have been having a hard time, but he had watched Buffy tear herself apart for years now and she was still only just putting it behind her. To hell with Angel's small problems, Buffy was the one in real danger here**

"So, you want to sacrifice Buffy's feelings and the last five years of pain, so Angel can stop having a few bad dreams?" Giles' voice dripped in sarcasm

"Why don't you act your age and stop being so bloody patronising" Wesley shouted back, his body jerking so hard the chair behind his legs crashed to the floor. He rested his hands on the table, as he leaned forward into Giles' face "We are not talking about a few bad dreams here, we're talking about a man pushed to the point of obsession and besides, the Oracles have made it perfectly clear that he will find Buffy, with or without our help and I'll be dammed if I watch my friend tear himself apart until that day happens"

At this point Xander stood, knocking over his own chair.

Without saying a word, Gunn's eyes flickered between the three men waiting to see who would throw the first punch; he then looked towards Cordelia and almost smiled at the realisation that it might very well be her.

" Let me get this right, you want to tell Angel that he used to be a monster, a blood sucking fiend that almost destroyed the girl he supposedly loved. You want to tell him about all the evil he created in his past and take away everything he ever believed was good about his new life? ...I'm thinking that's real good of you, Wesley " Xander smirked . He was totally against the idea of ex dead boy messing with Buffy's life again in any way.

**Vampire or not, Angel was always trouble.** as far as Xander was concerned

"Of course not, that wouldn't help anybody. Look, apart from Dawn, Tara and, to some extent, Oz, we are the only living souls in this world who know the *full* history of what happened to Angel. The Watchers' Council are all convinced that he is long dead and forgotten, so that case is well closed. We can tell him as much or as little as we deem fitting and he will be none the wiser. I think we should tell him enough to explain what is happening to him but not enough to destroy the man he has become"

"You're deluding yourself again, Wes. How can being told he's an ex vampire not destroy him?" Xander almost laughed, the only thing that stopped him was the subject was simply too important to be funny.

"You also seem to be forgetting one more thing, what about Tara and Oz? They have more reason to hate Angel than anybody, you can't rely on them keeping quiet once they find out" Xander's voice was tinged with sadness as he remembered the pretty redhead that Angelus had so cruelly killed. That black day still brought unbearable pain to all their hearts. The Scooby gang had also lost Tara that day, she hadn't died like Willow, but the reminders were just too painful and she had left soon after, choosing to live abroad.

Wesley met Xander's gaze and nodded sadly.

" I have spoken to both Oz and Tara about this, they will agree to anything we decide, both understand that Angel was not in any way responsible for Willow's death. Look, I'm not saying we tell him every single minute detail, a lot of the past must stay just there, in the past. But he needs to know about Buffy, for God's sake the guy's in danger of imploding"

"And so is Buffy" Giles smirked thinking he had gained a point.

"So we're damned if we do and damned if we don't?" Gunn made his presence known for the first time. The large quiet man hated that these two people, who obviously adored each other, should be put through such a hell.

" Couldn't they just meet up and start out like a normal couple, why tell him anything? Why not just let the guy find the girl on his own and let nature take it's course?" he added as an after thought.

"Buffy is still the Slayer, she still slips out and fights demons at bed time. You can't have a relationship built on lies, Buffy has already accepted that" Giles removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. That was a question he himself had once asked her, and Buffy was right, she could never lie to Angel, not on that scale, the pressure would be too great and the past was bound to catch her out"

"Enough! Like it or not we have a serious problem here, we have to all pull together to help Angel. Do you really think Buffy would want him to suffer like this? Hell, if she loves him so much she wouldn't think twice about ending his pain" Cordelia had tried to stay out of the argument but even she found it impossible. Taking a calming breath she continued

"I really don't think we have a choice, Angel's not going to stop looking for her either way, and one day out of the blue he's going to come knocking on the Buff's door and..."

"For Godsake just tell the guy, let him solve the damn problem. Who knows, they might just live happily ever after?" Anya's clear voice cut through the air with a simplicity that stopped the argument cold

The whole table turned deadly quiet

"Honey, you do remember who we're talking about here? Buffy and Angel, there are no happy endings, they are not allowed a happy ending" At the sad truth of his statement, Xander felt a strong desire to touch his wife's hand, counting his lucky stars that he had his own happy ending growing in front of him.

"Well, maybe it's time they were allowed. Maybe they deserve a break. Who the hell are we to decide their future?" Anya huffed. She was hot and uncomfortable and her feet hurt, the sooner they got back to the hotel the happier she would be.

"I agree" a quiet, defeated, voice spoke, shaking them all

Everyone then changed direction and stared at the man who had spoken

"I'm sorry but I could have sworn I just...?" Wesley was cut off before he got a chance to finish.

"I said I agree" Giles interrupted again.

" We don't have a choice, it can't continue on like this, that's for sure. And you are right, one day he will find her, so maybe it's better she knows he's coming and that way she can face him. Besides, Anya's right, we can't see the future, maybe there will be a happy ending" the last part was spoken with very little confidence.

The others just stood watching the older man concede defeat.

"So, it's agreed, we tell Angel." Wesley looked around the table as each face sadly nodded its agreement

"Any volunteers?" he asked again already knowing the answer.

Nobody spoke.

Wesley inwardly sighed

"Well I suggest you call him and tell him that we have the information he was looking for." he looked toward Cordelia as she reached for the phone.

"I just hope we're doing the right thing" Giles muttered sadly to himself as he started for the door, knowing he had his own phone call to make.

Wesley, on the other hand, had a slightly different worry.

"I just hope he believes us"

Cordelia stopped what she was doing and slipped her arm gently around Wesley's shoulders. Knowing that Wesley now faced the most difficult task of his life, she squeezed his lean body into hers, lovingly giving him her full support.

" He will, I don't know why, but trust me, he will "

Part Nine

Wesley looked nervously toward the clock on the wall for the third time in as many minutes, as he waited for Angel to arrive at the office. It didn't matter how many times he glanced up at it, to him, it still felt as if time itself was standing still, prolonging the agony of what was to come.

Frustratingly, after winning the argument with Giles and Xander and deciding just what he would say, Wesley was crushed to discover that Angel was not in his hotel room. Cordelia had called more than once, and the longer it took for Angel to reply to the messages left, the more agitated he became.

As soon as the meeting was over, Giles, Xander and Anya had left immediately for Sunnydale, deciding that they didn't want to be around when Wesley broke the earth shattering news. The two Englishmen had managed to shake hands but Wesley was still left with the impression that, even though the older man had reluctantly agreed in the end, Giles would never really accept Angel knowing the truth. To Giles, telling Angel now, meant the last five years had all been for nothing and that was something he would always find hard to swallow.

Three hours later, Wesley sat annoyingly drumming his fingers against the polished wood of Cordelia's desk, his tired eyes never once moved from the telephone sitting a few inches to his left. The silence in the room was driving him crazy, if the phone didn't ring soon, Wesley feared he was in clear danger of having his own nervous breakdown.

As he continued to drum his long fingers against the hard wood, imitating a slow Chinese water torture, the other two people in the room looked sympathetically towards each other and resisted the urge to commit murder. As much as they supported their colleague, one hundred percent, neither truly appreciated the task Wesley was about to undertake. He was the only one who had spent the last five years with Angel, sharing his new life, watching him change and grow. Sadly, only Wesley would understand the real devastation he was about to deliver.

Cordelia and Gunn did understand one thing they didn't want to share with their friend, if all this went pear shaped, he was also the one standing in the main firing line.

Thump, thump, thump, thump. The gentle torture of finger tapping continued to bounce against the desk, tearing into their fragile nerves like nails on a blackboard.

Gunn was the first to break

"Sorry. but I'm out of here, I need some serious air" he grabbed his jacket from the back of a chair and waved over his shoulder as he walked to the door. For a split second, Cordelia considered begging Gunn to take her with him; the tension in the room was making the small hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. But the second quickly passed and, as the other man slipped off down the street, Cordy decided to break the tension herself.

**Tea, the British always drink tea to calm their nerves** she remembered and dived for the kettle, anything to take her mind off the atmosphere around her. When she returned, ten minutes later, Wesley was still unhappily drumming away and ready to rip the phone from the wall, his patience at an end.

"Here, drink this, it might.ARRRRR" She didn't get a chance to finish her sentence, the cup and saucer went crashing all over the desk as the painful visions flashed into her head. Wesley jumped to his feet in real concern; this was the first message they had received from the PTB in over five years.

Taking the shaking woman into his arms, he softly stroked her hair until the flashing behind her eyes subsided and her breathing returned to normal

"What, what did you see?" he asked lowering her still trembling form into the chair by her desk, all thoughts of his own problem were quickly forgotten by the paleness of his girlfriend's face.

Cordelia looked up through large frightened eyes, as the pain in her head continued to reverberate into her very soul. When she was finally able to form a coherent word she reached out and frantically grabbed for Wesley's sleeve.

"Brace yourself, we're about." the words disappeared in a flash of blinding light as the pair were transported out of their office.

Wesley staggered forward as he found himself surrounded by light, when his eyes finally adjusted to the brilliance, he realised they were no longer in their office, come to that, they were no longer anywhere he had ever known. Reaching out for Cordelia, he clasped her hand tightly between his fingers.

"How dare you interfere with things that do not concern you?" the voice appeared from nowhere, startling the two nervous humans.

Wesley and Cordelia looked up just in time to see the Oracles move into the white marble room. The golden creatures were the same brother and sister that Wesley had witnessed five years earlier, when the hell mouth had been closed. Although Cordelia had missed that little battle, she too knew instantly that the beings in front of her were far from mortal. And, from the look on their brightly decorated faces, they were far from happy.

"I'm sorry but I don't understand" Wesley took a step forward but was automatically held back by his companion. It had only taken one quick glance for Cordelia to realise that these Oracles were extremely miffed about something.

**The fact they were summoned to a different dimension, probably meant it was them** she didn't need female intuition to know that much.

"We know what you are planning to do, lower beings. How dare you go against the Powers That Be!!" again the icy tone of the female voice sent a shiver down the length of both human spines.

Although he was clearly worried, Wesley had fought too hard for Angel's rights, to give up easily.

"Angel needs to know the truth" he stood his ground and defended fiercely.

At the human's defiance the female Oracle moved closer, her usually expressionless eyes flashing with anger.

"He needs to know no such thing. How many times do you stupid mortals have to be told. There are no memories, they were washed clean. Angel can search until the end of time and he will remember nothing. If you tell him about his demon's past, it will not only destroy the man that he has become; it will destroy the man he is to become. The Slayer understood this!! Her sacrifice will not be diminished by your foolishness"

From a female perspective, Cordelia could have sworn the Oracle actually sneered in disgust at the humans. If Wesley noticed, he paid it no attention

"It's wrong to let it continue like this, the man's tormented, damn you" he let the anger that had been building inside him, flash to the surface, with no fear for the ramifications.

"And if you carry out this plan of yours, you will be the ones that damn him. We have been watching and waiting for five years, things are moving in the right direction. You do not have the right to interfere, we will not allow that to happen !!" the threat in their voices was frighteningly clear. **Liam was never to be told and that was the end of it.**

Always the peacemaker, Cordelia took this opportunity to step forward

"We don't want to hurt Angel, we want to help him. Tell us what to do?" she asked, trying to pacify the situation. Wesley was becoming a liability, if he continued to piss these creatures off, they could be in serious trouble

At this point the male Oracle walked past his sister, the anger didn't shine so brightly in his face as he faced the female human

"Give him the information *he* seeks, not what you think he seeks" came the cryptic reply.

Cordelia's forehead crinkled slightly as she tried to decipher the puzzle

"I don't understand" she asked and turned her head towards Wesley, he shrugged his shoulders indicating that the meaning had passed over his head as well.

"Sunnydale, send him to Sunnydale. That's all you need to do, the PTB will do the rest " the Oracles then turned their backs, dismissing the lower beings without a second thought.

Wesley and Cordelia didn't get a chance to ask any more questions, with a second flash of blinding light they found themselves thrown back into their own dimension, and their own office.

As the pair looked at each other, trying desperately to understand what had just happened, things took a turn for the worse, as Angel's hire car pulled up outside the office door.

"Oh, shit!. He can't find me here" Wesley moved quickly towards Buffy's old office, leaving a startled Cordelia to face, not only Angel but also, the task of telling him what they had found out.

"Great, just great" she muttered under her breath as the door behind her slammed shut and the glass office door in front, slowly opened.

Angel pushed open the door and walked into the office beaming the largest smile she had ever seen. His large dark eyes were positively shining with happiness as he approached the desk

"I just got your message, I can't tell you what this means to me. Where is she, where's Buffy?" he asked in a rush of excitement that made the light in his dark brown eyes shine even brighter, if that was at all possible.

**Sunnydale, send him to Sunnydale**

Remembering the words of the Oracles, only too well, Cordelia Chase tried to return the smile as best as she could.

"Sunnydale. You'll find Buffy Summers in Sunnydale"

Buffy Summers stood motionless on the top of the hill over looking Sunnydale. She could no longer feel any part of her body but that was okay. Feelings were bad, they made you weak and Buffy had no time for weakness, not today.

Today, Angel was coming. Buffy hadn't needed the warning from her friends to know; she could feel him moving toward her with each step he took. Hiding was no longer an option, destiny had caught up with her and now it was time to face it head on.

Standing on the very hillside where she had first witnessed the meteorite all those years ago, Buffy had lost track of all time. A multitude of colour had drifted across the sky as the bright pink of dawn was replaced by the soft orange glow of sunset. And when there was no longer the light, the stars had sparkled out their brilliance, not wanting to be left out of the picture of perfection. Tiny diamonds on a vast ebony blanket had wrapped its comfort around the Slayer's shoulders, as she continued to stand a solitary vigil.

Then finally, when it seemed as if the night would last forever, the pale pink of morning had completed the earth's circle and a new day had washed up over the tragic figure, still standing on the hill. Still hardly breathing as she waited for her love and their final confrontation.

**Soon, the wait would be over soon**

As Buffy stood on the hillside completely oblivious to the outside world, she watched the small town of Sunnydale, spread out far below her, slowly wake up and greet the new day. What was left of the pathetic demon population quickly slunk back into the dark undergrowth as the human race and the sunlight reclaimed its' world.

The first rays of morning always brought normality back to the town, even in a world where demons were no longer a serious threat. The warm rich sunlight was the blessing that brought the unsuspecting humans their salvation.

Buffy had, on more than one occasion, considered moving on from this town but Sunnydale was as good a place as any to live; especially as it was no longer a hellmouth, just a small town trying to survive the best it could.

Nowadays nothing much changed in Sunnydale.

In the hospital nursery a baby would be born and, a few wards down, an elderly soul would slip peacefully away, once again balancing the scales of humanity

In the end that's what it all boiled down to, balancing the scales. Save one, lose one and the world keeps turning, a never ending circle..

Buffy smiled as her mind continued to dissect the meaning of life.

**A Never ending circle**

Five years ago she had stood on the same hill waiting for the world to end.

**Five long lonely years and now where was she? **

She was still standing on the same hillside, and she was still, in her own way, waiting for the world to end - only this time she was the meteorite, this time she would be causing the destruction.

**And why?** What a question that was. Buffy knew the answer only too well **Because she was too damn scared to take another chance, that's why.**

**Five years, it felt more like a lifetime**

"Does it seem a long time to you?" Buffy asked the question aloud without moving her eyes.

"Where I am, there is no time Buffy. It might as well have been yesterday or then again, an eternity" the soft familiar voice caressed Buffy's tired body and wrapped its feather light touch around her soul.

Buffy sighed deeply as she watched the streets below fill with people living their everyday lives.

"Are you happy?" This time Buffy did move her eyes and her heart lurched at the sight of the translucent spirit standing by her side.

Willow shimmered in the early morning light and smiled softly as she looked back at her friend.

"I'm at peace Buffy, I have no responsibilities, no needs, no dreams" the gentle voice floated on the breeze between the two girls bringing the comfort the Slayer had desperately reached out for.

"What a life" Buffy sighed again, almost enviously at the thought of such a carefree existence.

Willow's soft laughter filled the air and Buffy was immediately reminded of days long gone by. Days when the two best friends had laughed together and, on occasion, cried together. Days when the world was constantly in danger but, it was all right, because in those days they still believed in their dreams. ** Days when they were young and foolish and dreams came true, if you just wished hard enough**

"It's not life, Buffy. I have no life, I'm not real any more." There was no pain in the words, only honesty. Willow had been dead and buried these last five years and unlike the undead, she had ascended to a higher plain.

As the words washed over Buffy's heart, she looked closer at the image of her friend and marvelled at how translucent she was.

"You're not really here at all, are you?" the reality of what she was seeing seeped through her loneliness, making the picture slightly blurred.

The smile on her ghostly friend's face never faltered.

"You needed me, Buffy. I was always there when you needed me" this time her lips twitched in amusement.

Buffy smiled, a gentle understanding smile, as she acknowledged the truth in the statement. She had needed Willow, she had desperately needed somebody to tell all her fears to, somebody who wouldn't judge her, just love her unconditionally. It didn't matter if it was all just an illusion, Buffy had known worse things in her short life. The fact that her dear friend had been lying in her grave these last five years meant she couldn't possibly be standing there, in the early morning sun. But, in Buffy's mind, she could see her. In Buffy's mind, when she reached out for her friend, she found support, she found comfort.

**I was always there when you needed me**

"Yes you were, you were always my best friend" the sadness in her voice only highlighted her pain.

Willow shimmered in the growing sunlight and moved slightly

"No I wasn't. Angel was. He was your friend, your lover, he was your life, Buffy. " for a second the voice seemed to grow stronger as Willow struck the statement home.

Buffy turned her gaze back down to the town below

"He's almost here, I can feel him moving closer, and I don't know what to do. I'm scared, Will. I'm so scared he'll hate me for sending him away or worse, that he'll leave me again.What should I do?"

"He doesn't know, Buffy. The Powers wouldn't let it be. This is your chance now, If you're strong enough to take it, strong enough to carry the memories for both of you"

"What! But, I.. He. Oh, God." Buffy really hadn't been expecting this little bombshell. When Giles had called her from LA, it had already been decided that Angel would be told the truth. Buffy had exploded in anger that her friends had gone behind her back and, torn by the frustration that she couldn't prevent them destroying Angel, she had run until her heart had almost burst.

When there was no more running left in her legs, Buffy had stopped and found herself standing alone on the hillside. That's where she had spent the last twenty four hours, trying desperately to escape facing up to the pain that would scream from her ex lover's eyes and yet knowing that no matter where she went, he was still moving closer.

** But for some reason they hadn't told him, he still didn't remember her**

"It's over, Buffy. You no longer have to fight, it's Faith's turn to watch over humanity" Willow's smile seemed to dance softly across her lips as she delivered the news straight from TBTB themselves. The spirit might have been brought forward into this world by the Slayer's desire for a friend, but TPTB had taken full advantage of the situation and used the ghostly image to vessel their final message to their warrior

As the new information filtered through the haze of her mind, Buffy felt as if she'd been knocked over the head with a large brick.

**She was now able to have a normal life, a life with the only man she had ever truly loved. It only she wasn't so afraid to trust fate. Fate had a nasty way of giving with one hand and smacking her in the mouth with the other**

" One second with or a lifetime without" Willow's soft whisper somehow melted into Buffy's thoughts as the spirit started to evaporate, the light of her essence blending with the glow of early dawn.

Still fighting with the enormity of what her friend had just told her, Buffy's eyes pleaded for understanding.

"What does that mean?"

"Wouldn't one more second in his arms be worth all the risk? Even if he does leave again, that one second will live in your heart forever. Take a chance, Buffy. Life is so short and you really are a long time dead" The voice then disappeared as if it had never seen the light of day

Buffy turned as her friend's fragile outline faded slowly from sight, and came face to face, with the most beautiful brown soulful eyes that had ever graced her world.

"Hello.. Buffy?"

Part Ten

Angel understood for the first time in his life the true meaning of the word *Perfection*

His breath caught deep in his throat as the young woman, kissed and warmed by the glow of early morning sunlight, turned and lifted her large hazel eyes towards him. But this vision was more than just perfection; for the first time in his life Liam Price felt whole.

As the sunlight danced lazily through Buffy's hair, Angel knew - in that moment - that he had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life.

Everything seemed to fall into place. The confusion, which had tortured his soul over the last few months, drifted slowly away like an early morning mist dissolving into the sea.

Questions that had never been asked were suddenly answered.

He understood now, that this lovely young woman was the reason he had never fallen in love, the reason why nobody had ever managed to touch his heart. Until Buffy Summers had walked into his world, love had never been that important. *Liam* had never really worried about not finding love, he knew that when the time was right, love would find him. It certainly did! A few short months ago, love had knocked him on his ass in that alleyway and he had never recovered. Correction - he never wanted to recover.

Hypnotised by the way her hair flowed down her neck and caressed her shoulders, Angel longed to wrap his fingers in its golden warmth, and find the comfort he had been searching for all these months. In honesty, without even knowing it, *Liam* had been searching for this side of heaven all his life.

As her eyes blinked against the direct sunlight, Buffy nervously slid her tongue across her suddenly dry lips

**Lovely, so incredibly lovely** Angel's lonely heart sang out with painful longing.

No matter what happened between them in the next few minutes, Angel would take the memory of Buffy Summers bathed from head to toe in sunlight to his grave and beyond. There was no logical reason why this particular image touched his heart so deeply, there was nothing logical about any of the feelings he felt for this woman. But, as he watched the sun's early morning rays sink softly in to her flesh and brush lightly against her tanned skin, Angel knew that even if he never saw her again after this day, this is the vision he would carry with him into death. Once again the only word adequate enough to describe what he saw was *Perfection*

As he took a small step forward, the months of searching for the girl who had crawled inside his soul and had refused to move out, came to end.

" I was hoping we could talk?" Angel's gentle voice asked as he watched a dozen different emotions move across Buffy's beautiful eyes. Some of the feelings he recognised but others were strangely out of place.

He was still having difficulty believing she was real. This girl had filled his dreams for so long now and to finally be standing here, within kissing distance, and not touch her was almost unbearable.

As Buffy stared into his eyes, his gaze swept over every contour of her face, finally lingering hungrily on her mouth.

**Would she taste the same as in my dreams? If I kissed her would she taste of heaven?** Angel tore his mind away from the delicious thoughts flooding his head and, after taking a deep breath, started what could possibly be the most important conversation of his life

" I know you won't remember me and this is going to sound completely insane, believe me, there's no other word for it....." He took a slight pause to see if there was any response and when Buffy remained silent, he quickly continued

"But.... from the first second I saw you in London, I haven't found a moment's peace. I feel as I've known you all my life and I know that's not possible" Angel knew he was rambling and quickly tried to control the rush of words. The last thing he wanted to do was panic the girl into running away. Angel's worst nightmare was that Buffy would mistake him and his crazy story for a stalker or even worse, a madman. But so far, although Buffy hadn't replied, she also hadn't tried to run.

**If the girl was scared of him, she hid it well** he pondered as he watched her lips start to move

"I remember you" She whispered the words so softly that Angel, caught up in his own worries, almost missed them completely.

"You do? " he breathed a deep sigh of relief, but an almost quizzical statement covered his handsome face.

"Something has been driving me crazy for months now, please, I need to know.Why did you kiss me? I'm not saying that it wasn't wonderful, it was. In fact it was incredible but, we're strangers..... What I'm trying to say, and making a real mess of it is... why me?" He finally asked the one question that always came to him after his dreams. **Why had she kissed him?**

**Why me?** How she hadn't physically flinched, Buffy would never know. Irrationally, the question had stung her heart that he didn't remember the answer; and in that split second, she longed desperately to him tell the truth.

** Because I needed you, because I missed you so much I could hardly think straight. Because I love you Angel, with every beat of my heart and I will until the day this world really does come to an end.**

That was the reason she had kissed him in London, and it was also the reason why she desperately wanted to knock him to the ground, right this second and kiss him until *he* couldn't think straight.

But she couldn't say that, Buffy knew that this was make or break time for both of them. Whatever she told Angel next, would set the course for the rest of her life. If she was going to carry out a charade that would have to last until the day they died, it would all begin with her next words.

Slowly stepping forward she gazing up into heartbreakingly beautiful eyes and started the pretence.

"The truth? The truth is that you reminded me of someone else, somebody from my past, somebody I knew a long time ago." Buffy answered without letting any emotion slip into her words. It wasn't a lie, as such. Just a slight bending of the truth. Although the man standing in front of her was a living, breathing human being; a man with the world at his feet and no guilt to atone for, there were still deep traces of her lover left behind. Deep traces of that *somebody else*

Liam Price might be a new man but, deep down in her heart, he would always be her Angel. Sadly, he could never be told that.

**Somebody else**

Buffy watched as Angel took in the information and ran it behind his deep-set dark eyes. His statement slowly turned to disappointment that the reason had been something so painfully obvious.

**Of course it wasn't him she wanted, he had only reminded her of somebody else** with that thought he felt his heart sink.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have kissed you like that but..." Buffy hated to see the look reflecting in her ex lover's eyes. Her words had hurt him and that was the last thing she wanted.

**But it was the only explanation she could hope he would believe**

"This somebody, you cared about him a lot?" Angel raised his eyes but the hurt still remained.

Buffy nodded her head

"Lover?" Angel mumbled and knew instantly that he didn't want to know the answer. The thought of Buffy and this *lover* filled him with an illogical jealousy he knew he had no right to feel. Sadly, even accepting that he was being ridiculous didn't stop the pain tearing into his heart.

**Lover? Wow! get out of that one Buff** she inwardly cringed

"It was a dream I once had but, it wasn't meant to be" she bit hard into her lip as her mind brought forth the sight of Angel being taken away from her, time and time again.

"And he's not in the picture anymore?" As Angel asked the question, he found his heart desperately wanting the answer to be no. All the time he had been searching for her, it had never once crossed his mind that there could be somebody else.

"That part of my life ended a long time ago" Buffy shook her head as her eyes misted slightly, she knew it wasn't his fault but every question brought back so many painful memories. TPTB hadn't been joking when they had questioned her strength to carry this secret.

** Could she keep up this charade for the rest of their lives?** The answer was simple. If it meant keeping Angel by her side, and keeping his new life safe and happy, she could and would.

Buffy knew that, in order for them to have any chance at normal and happy ever after, she would carry the deception to her grave

"Liam" the name sounded strange but it seemed to fit his new life.

"Why did you kiss me back?" the second the question left her lips, Buffy knew she should never have asked it, it was a low shot and Angel couldn't possibly hope to know the answer. The flustered look that appeared on his face proved her right, straight away

"I don't know. No, that's not true. I know exactly why I kissed you. I kissed you because from the moment I first saw you walking out of that theatre, I realised I'd been waiting for you, waiting for you my whole life" Angel watched the colour fade from Buffy's face and cursed himself for sounding like a lovesick school boy.

"Sorry, I have no idea what's got into me lately. Buffy, do you believe in destiny, that fate brings people together for a reason?"

Buffy's eyes widened as she listened to the love of her life repeat every word her heart longed to believe in.

"Yes, I believe in destiny"

"I was thinking.... well, hoping really, that you might...... No, of course you wouldn't" he stopped suddenly feeling embarrassed and foolish

Buffy reached out her hand and softly touched his arm.

"Try me, you might be surprised" she replied hopefully, while a swarm of butterflies attacked her stomach.

"I was going to suggest that maybe we could go get a cup of coffee some place, maybe get to know each other a little better. You could tell me the story of your life" without thinking he reached out and let his fingers move to a stray lock of her hair, rubbing the silky strands gently between his fingers, Angel tucked it softly behind her ear.

"I'd really, really, like that - just one condition," Buffy's eyes smiled as she slipped her fingers around his warm hand. She only realised that she had done it when her palm came into contact with a shock of warm skin.

"Anything" closing his fingers around her tiny hand, Angel's lips curved into a small smile.

"You tell me all about your life first" Buffy almost flirted as she stepped closer.

"My life?" Angel's smile grew until his face positively beamed.

"My life started just about here" he reached out his other hand and slipped it around her tiny waist, pulling her willing body up against his.

Buffy gasped as his lips then brushed softly against her mouth.

Only one coherent thought danced inside her head, as her lonely body responded for only the second time in over five years.

**Angel's come back to me, Angel's home**

Epilogue
Twelve months later
London

Angel walked over to the large window behind his desk and stood quietly letting the sights of a busy London rush hour wash over him. As he watched the nameless masses race past his window, he reflected on how much his life had changed over the last eighteen months.

Life certainly was different now. So much so, that Angel hardly recognised the new man he had become, and all because of a girl.

As thoughts of Buffy wrapped themselves around his tired body like tiny little fingers, a large smile covered his contented face.

Angel was always smiling these days. Everybody at the museum now joked openly about the transformation that had taken over the once quiet, shy, workaholic. The talk in the staff room, nowadays, was how Liam couldn't wait to get away at the end of the day and then, how tired he always looked in the mornings. Not only did he appear to be suffering an acute case of love, Liam Price, had got the disease really bad

Angel couldn't have cared less what the gossipmongers spread. He had Buffy, both in his heart and in his bed each morning and that made everything in his world perfect.

The girl who had so briefly touched his heart in that alleyway, now owned it completely - along with his mind, body and soul. But, more importantly to him, he now knew that Buffy felt exactly the same.

**I love you, only you, always you, my Angel** Buffy had moaned so sweetly as his tongue delved into her mouth and kissed her until they were both breathless. Angel's arms had then pulled her so far into his body that he feared he would crush her small frame beneath his weight. But he hadn't crushed her; Buffy had just gripped him even tighter as if never wanting to let go. From that second on, it had been settled, they would never be parted from each other again.

**My Angel**

Angel had joked that the nickname Buffy had used, suited her more than it did him. At the time, she had tried laughing it off saying it was his fault he was so damn beautiful. All thoughts of the name were quickly forgotten as the two lovers discovered a different type of communication, one that didn't include actual words but involved a lot of sweating and moaning.

Later, when he was laying by her side, he thought of the name again and the way her lips had softly caressed it. Angel decided he secretly liked the name and never complained again when she whispered it lovingly to him in her sleep. After their first few weeks together, he no longer feared that she was thinking about *somebody* else when she whimpered the name, the deep adoration that shone in her eyes was only ever focused on him. So, after the first few slips the nickname had stuck and Liam didn't mind it at all, Buffy could call him anything she wanted, as long as she loved him. And the most wonderful part of his new life was, that Buffy never got tired of telling him how much she loved him.

**Buffy Summers loved him**

Staring at his reflection in the large glass window, Angel couldn't help counting his blessings. Every morning when he opened his eyes and gazed at the beauty pressed into his body, he realised just how lucky he really was.

Fate had blessed him; there was no doubt in his mind of that. Fate had opened his eyes and although it had seemed like torment at the time, it had eventually pushed him in the right direction, in the direction of Buffy Summers. **The love of his life.**

But it hadn't stopped there; fate had also played a hand in his cousin Wesley's love life.

Two months after their first date, Wesley had travelled out to America for their wedding day and had fallen head over heels in love with one of the guests.

Grateful for all her help, Angel had invited Cordelia Chase, the pretty dark haired woman from Angel Investigations to the ceremony.

As Angel promised to love his new wife until the day he died, he noticed the way his cousin's eyes never once left Cordelia. He wasn't at all surprised, when a few months later, they announced their own engagement.

To Liam, fate had killed two birds with one stone.

After the wedding, Wesley and Buffy had swapped countries. Buffy had wanted to move to London to start her new life with her English husband, while Wesley decided that he wanted to help Cordelia run her agency in Los Angeles.

Angel and Wesley had hugged warmly at the airport as the two cousins/friends separated to start their new lives, both men blissfully happy that the other had found contentment.

So, after everything that had happened in the last eighteen months, nothing surprised Angel anymore.

A small tapping on the office door brought his attention back to the present day.

"Liam, your wife just called" without waiting for a reply his PA's smiling face looked around the door.

"Buffy?" Angel raised his eyebrows and walked forward. He wouldn't admit it but, he loved hearing people saying those words ** Your wife** just the sound made him grin like that cat that had swallowed the cream.

Maria Temple laughed as she watched the love this man held for the woman he'd married, dance in his eyes. It was just like she had always said, all he needed was a good wife, and that's just what he had found in the spirited young American. The fact that Liam though the sun rose and shone in his young wife's eyes was all it needed for Maria Temple to take Buffy Price to her own heart.

"Yes, your wife Buffy. Unless you've divorced her and remarried in the last twenty-four hours" Maria replied with a twinkle in her eye. She couldn't resist the little tease. ** The world would end before Liam left Buffy**

"Very funny, Maria. Now, unless you want to get yourself fired......" Angel laughed good heartedly at the leg pulling

" What did my beloved want?"

Maria smiled, knowing the message she was about to deliver was going to bring real joy

"Oh, I almost forgot. She said you had better but your skates on"

Angel's face paled

"Oh God, there's still two weeks yet, it's far too early" his shaking fingers ripped his jacket from the back of his chair and forced his arm through the wrong sleeve. Maria laughed hysterically as the father to be, continued to panic and bolted towards the door.

"Give Buffy my love" she called out as Liam ran noisily down the stairs

Buffy turned her tired eyes and gazed in wonder at the tiny infant lying in the crib next to her bed. She lovingly reached out an exhausted hand and softly caressed it's tiny head still trying to convince herself that the small bundle, wrapped firmly in the pink hospital blanket, was really hers. No, correction, theirs.

The labour had lasted almost fourteen hours and the birth had been unbelievably painful, even with her Slayer's strength every contraction had brought about loud screaming and the odd four lettered curse. But now, as their new-born daughter lay peacefully in her crib, the pain and hard work could be forgotten.

Angel had been amazing, as he cut through the umbilical cord he remarked that his new daughter had arrived kicking, screaming and ready to take on the world, the image of her mother.

Too exhausted to do anything more, Buffy had just smiled happily thinking just how fitting that statement might once have been.

An hour later, Angel had slipped away to shout their news to the whole world while she tried to grab a few seconds rest. As she closed her eyes, Buffy relived the first few minutes of their daughter's life

**Buffy reached out and wrapped her fingers around Angel's large hand as he looked lovingly into their child's tiny pink face.

"I love you" her soft lips pressed against the skin of his hand and even after a year, the sensation of warmth beneath her lips still had the ability to reduce her to tears.

Angel closed his eyes, he had known a lot of perfect moments in these last twelve months but, after today, he knew in his heart that this one would really take some beating.

"After what you have just given me that's supposed to be my line" he turned and crushed his wife's exhausted body into his chest, ignoring anybody who dared to walk in on their moment.

Buffy found just enough energy to smile as she let the sound of his heartbeat wash over her body. The gentle sound soothed away all the aches and pains of the last few hours. After a few moments, Angel reached down and placing a finger beneath her chin he tilted her face towards his.

"Okay, you're allowed to say it too" Buffy sighed and looked into his large, tear stained eyes.

"Don't worry, I was planning to do just that " he teased and softly kissed her lips. Wrapping his hands in her hair, Angel brought his mouth close to her ear and whispered the words with all his heart

"I love you, Buffy. Always" **

Back in the present, the sound of a question being asked broke Buffy away from her memories.

"And does baby Price have a name yet?" the midwife who had delivered her daughter, asked as she passed Buffy a strong cup of tea and smiled down at the sleeping infant. Considering the child was two weeks early, the little girl was perfectly healthy, and an ideal weight.

Buffy sipped the strong sweet liquid and continued to smile, motherhood was painful but extremely satisfying.

"Willow, her name is Willow"

There had never been any other choice as far as Buffy was concerned. When she had first raised the subject of a name for their daughter, Angel had seemed surprised by the unusual request but, as with everything else where Buffy was concerned, he accepted it knowing that it would make his love happy. Strangely, as the weeks went by, Angel had grown to love the name as much as his wife and the pair were both overjoyed when the baby had been announced a little girl.

"Well, little Willow here is a real sweetie, just like her mother" the midwife finished her check on the baby and switched her attention to the mother. Buffy looked very tired but the birth hadn't caused any real complications, after a few hours bed rest she and the baby could leave for home.

Buffy turned her eyes towards baby Willow's tiny pink face

"She has her fathers dark hair, and I'm sure she'll also have his eyes" she replied dreamily as she allowed her temperature to be taken.

"After seeing your husband's eyes, there's nothing wrong with wanting that" the middle aged woman laughed as she wrote on Buff's chart. She had watched how her younger colleagues had fluttered their eyelashes at the handsome young man in question. She also noticed how he only had eyes for the woman giving birth to his child.

"And where is the proud father now?" the midwife asked adjusting Buffy's pillows and accepting her empty cup.

Buffy laid her head back into the fluffy softness of her bed; a smug grin still turned at her lips.

"Calling everybody we have ever known with the news" she laughed thinking that her darling husband would probably be on that phone half of the night, he was that proud.

Satisfied that mother and baby were both doing well, the midwife picked up her bag.

"I'll let you get a little sleep now. Baby Willow will need feeding in a couple of hours, so rest as much as you can" with one last smile she turned and left the room.

Buffy was tired but far too excited to sleep. While the sky outside her window darkened over, she watched from her bed as the stars appeared.

Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, Buffy reached into the crib and, gently supporting her daughter's head, she lifted the tiny infant up in her arms and slowly crossed the room to the large hospital window.

Still nervously holding her daughter in one arm, Buffy reached out and pulled up the blinds in order to get a perfect view of the night sky.

Tilting the baby slightly, Buffy gazed up past the glass and into the clear black heavens.

It wasn't as beautiful as Sunnydale. **Then again, nowhere on earth was the sky as beautiful as her hillside in Sunnydale** Not that Buffy wasn't happy living where she was, she loved London and it was home to all three of them now.

It was simply her own personal opinion, the stars would always shine brighter in Sunnydale.

Switching off the wall light to get a better view, the room fell into darkness

"See those pretty lights up there, those are called stars" Buffy's voice was barely a whisper as she spoke to her sleeping child. The small infant didn't seem at all bothered by being removed from her crib, she just lay contentedly in her mother's arm as Buffy fondly reminisced

"One day I'll tell you all about the star, with the long tail, that almost destroyed the world and brought about Armageddon. Needless to say, it missed, and the world didn't end that time." Buffy leant forward and brushed her lips against the child's shock of dark hair.

As a fierce feeling of protectiveness swept over her, she held the baby closer to her chest.

"You don't have to worry about the world ending, little one. Mommy and Daddy have taken care of that for the next thousand years. You didn't know that your daddy was a hero, did you? I'll let you in on my secret, neither does he" Buffy smiled, she finally had somebody to share her secrets with

** Well, for a few weeks at least**

"There's a lot of secrets I can't ever tell your daddy but, while you're this tiny, I can tell you" her voice never rose above a whisper, she turned her eyes back to the stars and watched how they seemed to sparkle even clearer tonight

"They're not all stars you know, some of those lights, the brightest ones, they are called souls. Souls of those that watch over us, people who loved us and have now passed over." At this point the baby stirred slightly in her mother's arms, Buffy rocked her gently as she looked back out into the darkness

"See that one, the brightest one, that's Willow. That's where you get your name from, little one. Without her advice and kick in the right direction, you might never have been born. Kind, gentle Willow, she would have loved you dearly. " A single tear slipped over Buffy's cheek as she continued.

"And that one there, that's Kendra, she was a Slayer like mommy. And the one to the right, that's Jenny, she helped bring daddy back the first time I sent him away" Buffy continued to point out the various lights she considered significant . It didn't matter that the child would never understand, Buffy just needed to tell her, just this once.

"And then there's the two that seem stuck together, those mischievous two are called Spike and Drucillia. Oh, the stories I could tell you about them" she laughed softly as she remembered days long gone by.

Sometimes she missed those days, she certainly missed Willow and she'd even been known to miss Spike on the odd occasion. It was hard not having anybody to share her memories with, but she accepted that it was truly a small price to pay for her blissful new life.

Every time Angel touched her skin with his warm hands, Buffy silently thanked the PTB for their gift of a second chance. All the pain and suffering they had had been forced to endure finally made sense, with the feel of Angel's heart beating up against her own, Buffy finally put aside the years of loneliness. Looking down at the child their joint bodes had made, a mixture of dark and light, ex slayer and ex vampire, it suddenly hit her. The dark days really were behind them and they were never coming back. With that thought she held her child even tighter in her arms and sighed.

**This time they really were going to live happily ever after**

Angel stood quietly watching his wife and new-born daughter from the darkness of the doorway. A feeling of utter peace and contentment that he never believed possible, stole over his soul. There had been times in this last year when he had feared his life was so perfect it couldn't possibly be real. Nights when he had woken, terrified that his perfect world had vanished inside a dream, never to be seen again. But, that was all behind him now.

As soon as their daughter had entered the world, Angel knew it was finally real, that this was just how his life was meant to be.

Watching his love whisper fairytales to their child about the stars, Angel smiled.

He really was the luckiest man alive, life simply couldn't get any better than this....

END.