The Challenge

By Shannon Clegg

Disclaimer:These characters don't belong to me. They belong to Joss, the mutant enemy who likes to fulfill our dreams and rip them away...only the plot is mine, and it's how it should be.
Spoilers:IWRY challenge. Angel must make choices that he'll regret to save the lives of his one true love? Will they be together? Or does fate have a different plan?
Ratings:R (due to sex scences)
Feedback:Please, it's really important.
Author's notes: THIS TAKES PLACE IN MARCH AFTER THE FORGOTTEN DAY. Riley and Buffy are 'together', Faith has been back, Adam exists. I have forgotten about nothing from the series. I think you find everyone gets what they deserve!

PART 1

She floated above herself, watching as Angel made passionate love to her. Through the haze she saw herself, on top of him, and she was jealous. Then a flash of light, and she awoke to the sun glaring through the window at her. It was nine in the morning, time to be college-girl Buffy. The dreams she was having were so vivid. She hadn't had many sex dreams, but it was almost as if they weren't dreams. They were though, they had to be. The most recent dream, her with Angel in his bed in LA, the night before, it had been the kitchen. "What's wrong with you Buffy?" She said to herself as she got out of bed.

She threw on some clothes and it was off to psych. How exciting, since Professor Walsh had bit the dust, the class wasn't the same.

She was walking down the hallway, when she felt two arms wrap around her waist from behind. 'Angel' she thought, but she knew it couldn't be, it never was. "Morning Buffy." She turned around and met Riley's lips with a gentle kiss. What a disappointment! She had tried honest she had, to have a normal life, but it just never worked out. She wasn't normal.

"Hey. on your way to class?"

"Actually, I talked with the professor and class is canceled, how 'bout a picnic in my room?"

"Rain check? I have to find Willow." She kissed him and walked away. She had to get away.had to find some semblance of sanity. She ran, she just ran, not knowing where. She found herself at the cemetery where she and Angel had fought once before, the night Kendra had died. For Buffy, Sunnydale was filled with memories of things past, memories of Angel. Even fighting him, she had loved him, it was sick, but she had. She had lived with guilt for three months. Tried to forget and be normal, and it never works. Going to college by day and fighting demons and vampires by night would never be considered the norm. She had tried to get on with her life, like Angel wanted. She sat down on the grass under a tree and just sat.

Buffy sat thinking of how it had felt her first time. Having Angel above her, feeling him inside, the rush of feelings and emotions, the explosions of pain and pleasure. She sighed.

Again, she fell into a deep memory burned into her being. This time, she felt him moving inside her. He was panting, begging her for her warmth. She felt his skin below her, warm. She began shaking.

"Buffy? BUFFY? BUFFY!" She awoke to find Willow shaking her.

"Huh? Oh , Willow. hey, what time is it?"

"It's dusk. Have you been here all day?"

"I guess so. Dusk huh? My bad." Buffy stood up.

"Riley called me and said you took off, what's up? You okay?"

"Just dreaming. Thinking, feeling, ya know."

"Angel again?" Her friend glanced at her, as if she needed to ask. Willow knew, she was having the dreams again, more and more so. "Tell me about it?"

"I was in his room in LA Will, with him. I felt his body, he was warm Willow, he was warm.I don't get it, is it imagination? How can I feel something so vividly, when I can't imagine how it would feel to have him be warm?"

"Buffy, you have to stop this or call him. It's not doing you any good."

"Willow, it's a little late for that isn't it? I mean it's been four months since I've seen him. And besides, we have Adam to contend with and we still don't know where the hell Faith is. this is no time to be trying to hook up with my ex."

"Buffy, you still wear the ring, he's not your ex. he will never be."

"Thank you Mrs. Obvious, make me feel better all the time. Let's go and see what's new with Giles." The two girls began walking when a voice from the dark called, a voice from the grave.

"Hey, cutie."

"Spike, what do you want? Why don't you just go? You're bothering me."

"Well, I don't care for you either, but where am I going to go?"

"Back to England?"

"I could just go to LA." That was it, she grabbed the stake out from underneath her coat and ran at him. She jumped on him, and slammed him to the ground, stake at the heart.

"You wanna take me Spike, I'm ready, course it really won't be that hard, will it?"

"Fine, sorry. do you wanna know why I'm here anyway?"

Buffy got up, being that close to Spike brought back bad memories of being in love with him, thanks to Willow. They never had gotten around to a forgetting spell. "What? Make it fast, I am not going to spend anymore time with you than absolutely necessary."

"I saw that demon thing, Adam is it?"

"Where?"

"Buy me a pint of blood and I'll talk."

"You're a snake. let's try this again." Buffy walked over to him and kicked him in the gut. He slumped over and she grabbed his hair, "tell me, or you're dust."

"Testy slayer. I saw him in the tunnels under the city with a dozen other vampires. Talking to them, telling them that they don't have to fear anymore. What bull! Went on about how the time was coming when they would walk among the humans. Now get your bloody hands off me!"

"That's it?" She let go.

"That's it. Now help me out. I'm broke." Willow walked over to him and handed him a five. Her and Buffy continued on their way to Giles'.

"You shouldn't give him money Willow, he doesn't deserve it."

"Buffy, we know him know, we can't just let him starve, can we? It's not very polite."

"Willow, one of these days, he's gonna figure out how to fix that chip and then we are going to wish we had dusted him."

That night, patrolling had gone unusually well. They had spoken to Giles about what Spike had said. Giles suggested they call in help with Adam. Buffy refused, she said that Riley told her the initiative was on it. They were going to find him and zap him. Buffy went to bed that night early, before midnight.

She lay on the bed and began drifting off, the nights had become her only connection to the man she loved. She had a scar from him, a physical one. One from where she had given him life, had saved him, one from which she nearly died. A vampire slayer in love with a vampire, who would have thought? She drifted off to sleep, where her and Angel combined once more. She say them eating food, ice cream, in bed. She saw them making love everywhere, felt him.

Miles away, he was walking the busy streets, begging for trouble. Demon, vampire, murderer, someone to hurt, it was his only escape, solace, the only thing that made him feel better. He got back to the office and the phone was ringing. A little late, he thought.

"Hello, Angel Investigations."

"Hello, um, Angel?"

"Giles? Is Buff."

"Buffy is fine Angel, well for now. I think we need some help here. There's a big demon, I don't think she can handle it herself. She hasn't been herself lately, she's. her mind is elsewhere. This is not normal, the demon is different. Can you come?"

"I'm already gone."

"Oh and Angel? Maybe, she asked me not to call you, not to call for back up. she'll be upset."

"Don't worry."

PART 2

The open road, the open top. miles to think, to remember, the forgotten day in which Buffy had promised never to forget. There was a part of him that resented her for that promise, but how could she have known? He saw the first rays of sun start peeking up and he pulled over and put the top up. Good thing he had dark windows, wouldn't want to burst into flames on the way back home.

He was nervous. Giles didn't know if he should have made the call or not, but he felt it was necessary. Buffy couldn't handle Adam alone, they needed an attack plan. They could ask Spike for help as well, three strong bodies, with Riley too. four on one. He had been working on the plan for sometime now. Trying to figure how to take the unusually strong demonoid. He just hoped Buffy wasn't losing her mind. Willow had told him about some of the dreams Buffy was having. Giles also knew that Buffy was skipping a lot of her classes. She had been since Thanksgiving, she wasn't looking very rested, but he kept quiet. Tried to do the best he could with his Slayer.
She woke up the radio this morning. It was a different day, but all were pretty much the same. The sadness loomed inside her, like mist over the ocean on a cool morning. She was used to it, had been for some time. She wanted to yell at him for doing this to her. Wanted to hate him for promising to love her forever and for leaving her. She couldn't hate him. She loved him too much.

SO SAD TO HEAR THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO HANG AROUND WITH ME
SO LAME TO SEE YOU LEAVE AND TO KNOW THAT YOU BELIEVE THAT IT'S OVER.

The song sang to her. 'It's not over Angel, it never will be.' Willow was right, she wore the ring, the most important thing she owned, part of the promise he made, and had broken. A tear came her eye and she stopped herself. 'I am not going to fall apart, not today.'

"How are you today Buffy?" Willow walked into the room, hair wet, and she went about getting dressed. Buffy's best friend for three years.

"Well, you know, the days go by as the nights, lonely. It was so lonely being the Chosen One. Of course, I could be in a room with a thousand people, and if." her voice trailed off. "You know, when I start getting all sad and depressing, just hit me."

"If Angel wasn't there, you'd still be lonely. I know. you're no the only one who's lonely."

"Oz. I'm sorry Will, whadda you say we go to that party at the bronze tonight? Have a drink and dance the night away with guys we don't care about?"

"The party? You wanna go to the party? The Pajama party? Seems kind of, weird."

"Willow, we fight vampires and demons, we've dated vampires and werewolves, our lives couldn't get any weirder, this party if perfect for us. We're going."

"Yes sir." Willow saluted her as she got up and went to shower.

He arrived in Sunnydale a little after eleven, instant death shining down upon the ground. He marveled at irony. he could fight any demon, kill anything he wanted, jump off a two story building and land on his feet, but one ray of sunlight would make him no more. The Powers That Be sure have an odd sense of humor. He pulled into Giles' and grabbed his jacket and threw it over his head and bolted for the door.

"Angel! Wonderful, you're here!"

"Hey Giles, it's been a while."

"Indeed. Coffee?"

"Sure. Black."

Giles filled him in with the information they knew about Adam, leaving out little Riley parts. That wasn't his job as watcher to tell the extraordinarily strong ex-boyfriend about the new boyfriend.

She was walking to her class and the arms came around her waist once more. 'Angel. no Buffy stop this. get him out of your mind.'

"Morning Angel. how'd you sleep?"

"Riley, don't call me that, please."

"Sorry. how was patrolling last night?"

"Okay, boring. I went to bed early."

"Listen, about that rain check, how about tonight?"

"Can't, Willow and I are bonding tonight at the Bronze."

"Can I join you?"

"Riley, it's a girls night out, she's bummed about the whole Oz thing. I promised. sorry." She weaseled her way out of his arms.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get away from me. What's going on Buffy?"

She turned to him. She couldn't do it anymore. "Riley, I like you, I do, but I thought I was ready, but I'm not. I. I want us to be friends, but I can't do this right now, with Adam and Faith."

"So it's about Faith? Look I'm sorry, how was I supposed to know she was wearing your body? She." he continued, but she wasn't listening.

'Angel would have known it wasn't me. He would have pushed her away.' She drifted off to last nights dream, a demon attacking her and Angel, the mora demon, then the passion, the fire in his eyes, the feel of his. she interrupted herself, the thoughts. 'Riley, concentrate on Riley.'

"Riley," she smiled, "I'm sorry, but I just need sometime, I was in a bad relationship, well, a long one, a complicated one, and I just. I need sometime. I'm sorry."

"I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. do that." She walked away, feeling relieved.

PART 3

It had been a while. She looked in the mirror and it had been a while since she felt the need to put make-up on. Too long. She carefully pulled her hair back, in a pony tail. She looked in the mirror. Buffy Summers examined herself in the mirror.

CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE WEAK I FEEL THE NEED TO GET UNDERNEATH YOUR SKIN
AND WHEN YOU START TO TWEAK I FIND A WAY TO GET UP BESIDE YOU.

When are they going to stop playing that stupid song? She wondered, maybe the reason it bothered her so much is because he was under her skin. He was always inside her, a part of her. She was inside him too, under his skin. She wanted to be beside him, needed to be close. Her dreams were the only way, she never wanted them to stop. She looked in the mirror. She donned her bunny pajamas and her matching slippers. Willow had teddy bear ones.

"Ready to go?" Buffy glanced at her friend.

"We look ridiculous."

"Yes, but imagine, we'll be in a sea of strangers. And we'll be comfortable. Hey, what's the band they have playing?"

"I don't know something like Olive Oil or Olive Eater, I don't know. It doesn't matter, we're doing the getting out thing, and look how many stakes I can put under these pj's?"

"Impressive. I have garlic under mine."

"Our lives are never boring Will, let's go!"

The two threw on their coats and were on their way in the pajamas. Buffy still couldn't believe that they had gone through with it, but there they were, in the Bronze. An hour later, they were dancing and she had almost forgot the past. She looked over her shoulder and it was over.

"Buff?"

"Spike, looking at us in our pajamas, with Xander and Anya."

"So much for that part about being with strangers. Could this get any stranger? Of course, we shouldn't really ask that question. We know it always can."

"Hiya guys, having a wild time?" Xander came over. He had on a pair of boxer shorts and a beach shirt. Anya was in a dress.

"Nice pj's Anya." Willow said.

"Yeah well, I sleep naked, but Xander said that wasn't appropriate."

IN TIME YOU'LL LEARN TO LOVE ME AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF
OH IN TIME YOU'LL LEARN TO HATE ME

"Oh that music!" Buffy was whining again. Everyone was sick of it, he could tell. He was glad to hear that voice. It was like blood in his veins, he needed it to survive.

He watched her dance. She was so beautiful and he became painfully aware of what she did to him. He needed to have her beside him, naked. No, he couldn't let his mind go there. It was a dangerous place to be, especially in the same room as her. He watched her body move. Her body. next to his, his inside her. stop it. It didn't help she was in her pajamas. He moved to behind the stair well, where he had spent numerous hours watching her before, falling in love.

"So, gorgeous, wanna dance?"

"With you Spike? In your dreams."

"Yes, you are blondie."

"You're a pig Spike. Why are you here anyway? Don't you have some crypt that needs cleaning or some lonely innocent girl to chase, or that's right, you're impotent."

"Hey!" He grabbed her, "Ow!!!" He grabbed his head and listened to the Slayer laugh at him. "You know, it's not like you have to rub it in."

She went up to him and pressed into him. "Oh Spike, I wouldn't do that."

"You are begging for it."

"Oh no! Not a lecture! Don't scold me! I might fall over from laughter!" She turned around with a quick jerk and her hair flung in his face. As she walked, he answered back with a growl. "Oh Spike. don't get all upset now, we wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

He had watched her, press herself into Spike. Why? He was jealous. For whatever reason, Spike got to be close to her, closer than he ever could be.
He hated her. More every day. He had to fix this. He had to find a way to get what was done undone. He had to find his love. What had become of him? He began to leave and out of the corner of his eye, he saw a familiar shadow lurking in the background. Great, just what I need!
"Well, Anya and I are leaving. I gotta get of these clothes." Xander spoke as he got up.

"NO, I gotta get you out of those clothes."

"Please, that was too much information." Buffy smiled and watched her friends walk off and she turned to Willow and they began talking.

"Come on. let's get out of here before the siege of vampires comes to kill everyone."

"Well, aren't we Miss. Optimistic?" Xander wrapped his arm around his girlfriend.

"Hey, the nights have been too quiet. Some vampire somewhere is threatening the earth and I."

"Dead boy!"

"Don't call me that!" Angel replied. He'd been seen.

"What are you doing here?"

"Duh, I'm watching Buffy, I should think it was obvious."

"Yeah, well why aren't you in LA? Oh no, you're not here to kill us all are you, because that's getting old!"

"No, I'm just, Giles called and told me you might need help with Adam. What was Spike doing here? And why didn't Buffy dust him?"

"Oh, that, well Mr.I'm-so-big-and-tough, can't hurt anyone."

"Huh? That's seems too good to be true."

"Yeah, well, it's true, did Giles tell you about the initiative?"

"Yeah."

"Well, they put this chip thing in his head, that zaps him when he tries to hurt an innocent. Kind of ironic, huh? So even more ironic is the fact that he's kind of helped us a little, and we keep him some pigs blood every now and then."

"Well, that's different."

"Yeah, well, whoever you are, we're going to have sex now, so."

"Anya? You don't just say that. oh sorry, Anya, this is Angel."

"Angel? Oh, Buffy's Angel, oh. this is going to be interesting."

"How so Anya?"

"Because Riley just walked in the door."

"Oh. well that's our cue to leave." Xander grabbed Anya and left.

"Riley? Who's Riley?" Angel asked, but he was talking to himself. He glanced over at Buffy and he knew, Willow saw him.

PART 4

"Well, the night is still young! No demons! No vampir." Buffy said.

"I wouldn't say that so fast Buffy." Willow said as she met the pair of eyes across the room.

"Why? Vampire? Whe." Buffy turned to look when a pair of arms wrapped around her, she them met the pair of eyes across the room. Vampire in deed, she met his eyes and watched him flinch.

"Buffy? I'm sorr."

"Riley, I told you, I need some time."

"I know, but that's not to stop us from seeing each other in the meantime."

"Time means time. Space means space." She couldn't stop looking at him. A huge hunk of manliness. She flashed to her dream where his manliness made her whole body quiver with excitement. "Riley, I'm sorry, it's over."

She stood up and brushed him aside. Angel was walking toward her.

"Cute PJ's."

"Thanks. Why are you he. Giles called you?"

"Yes, he told me all about Adam and I think he's right. You need help."

"So what you're going to come and help and then leave for my own good. That's the drill right, well at least this time I don't have to come to LA and yell at you for not saying hi. Pretty crumby of you to come and not say hi to an old friend, or rather, a young friend in your case." She broke a smile, she couldn't make him feel any worse than she knew he felt already.

"Buffy. I'm so." She couldn't stand it, it was wrong but she put her arm around his neck and pulled him down to her. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and his met hers. He explored every cavity of her mouth and she did the same. She got dizzy, she couldn't stand it. The dreams came again, her grabbing him, him grabbing her.

It felt so good to have her in his arms. Have her lips to his. He moved his tongue around her mouth. She was so soft, warm. He couldn't get enough. He was hungry for her. He wished he could tell her, make her keep the promise to remember. It was his burden to bare. He wrapped his arms around her waist and moved his hands along he back. She fit so perfect against him, even with pajamas. Her body felt so good.

He pulled away. He had to be strong.

She was living the dream. She wanted to rip off all his clothes and take his body right there. Bronze or nothing. But he stopped. He had willpower she did not possess.

"Buffy. I."

"I know. you don't want to kill anyone again. you're here to help and scoot, so let's get busy."

"Buffy, I don't like hurting you. I never want to hurt you."

"Then why do you? I'd rather have you here, and see you, than miss you and have you in my dreams alone."

"Your dreams?" He raised his eyebrow and smiled.

God, he's gorgeous, and he will be, forever. "Yes and there is no force on this earth that will make me tell you about them."

"But."

"No force on this earth!" She smiled and over his shoulder she saw Riley coming over. Oh no!

"Buffy, what's going on here? One second, you're all jealous and the next you're grabbing a stranger in the Bronze? If you trying to do the same to me, it worked, now let's go and talk this out."

"It's not over Faith! It's just." she grabbed Riley's arm and pulled him aside, "Can't you just let this be?"

"No, I can't, Buffy, I love you."

"What?"

"I love you, Buffy and I can't turn away from you."

"You don't have a choice Riley. I'm walking away from you. I love someone else and you don't even compare to him."

"Who? Him?" Riley pointed at Angel, Angel just smiled back. She cracked a smile.

"Yes him. I'm sorry, it's just. I tried, Riley, I did. I can't do this."

"Fine. fine."

"Riley, I'm sorr."

"No, don't worry about it, don't worry." She watched him walk away, relieved. She walked back to Angel.

"I take it that was Riley."

"You know about Riley?"

"Well, Xander mentioned that Riley had come in. I take it you are."

"Were, I were, I mean, I was with him. He was the second attempt at a normal relationship.the first didn't go much better, but at least Riley called me the day after. not that you want to know."

"I kind of already do."

"How?"

"Well, Spike paid me a little visit in LA a while back, he wanted the ring of Amara, and he enjoyed torturing me a little with a Buffy-has-a-new-lover story."

"Oh, yeah, well Parker wasn't exactly the best rebound guy. It was a one night thing, kind of drunken thing."

"Oh. Sorry."

"My decision, my problem. Well, what do you say we get out of here."

"Sure, you can. tell me more about your dreams."

"No force on this earth." She went over to Willow and said she was leaving.

"I'll come too, that is if you want me? Hi Angel, nice to see you."

"Come on!"

The three walked out of the Bronze. Buffy heard a scream from an alley way.

PART 5

He heard the scream too and he bolted for the alley where he saw a man with a woman by the neck. He reached inside his duster, damn, no stake. Buffy caught up with him.

"I don't suppose you have an extra."

"Stake? Like, duh?" She pulled out two. "One for me and one for you."

She handed him the stake and looked at their opponent. "Oh! Parker? How are you?"

"I'm feeling hungry!" He dropped the girl and started toward Buffy.

"You know this guy Buffy?"

"Yeah, Angel, this is the guy, the rebound guy! The didn't-call-the-morning-after guy."

"Oh, well in that case." he looked at her and vamped out, "he should die a second slow and painful death."

She watched him lunge at Parker. She stood back and watched her man. Parker was a good fighter, he kicked Angel and knocked him down.

"Honey? You okay?" She asked.

"Yeah dear, just fine." Angel jumped up. "You shouldn't have done that." He said to Parker.

The two tumbled for a minute. Parker managed to get the stake from Angel and flung it at him, scratched his forehead, and the blood dripped down his face. "Now, I'm mad." Angel punched him twice and got him by the throat. "Here honey, I got you a present."

"For me? Angel, you shouldn't have!" She walked to him and took her stake out. "Parker, Parker, Parker, you should have called. It's payback time buddy, and I'm pissed." She pushed the stake through his heart and watched at his turned to dust.

" Feel better?" Angel asked.

"You're hurt." She went to him and wiped away the blood from his forehead. He backed away. "Angel."

"No, you shouldn't have to."

"Angel, I love you all the time, not just when you're, not just when you look. I just love you." She reached up and wiped the rest of the blood from his forehead.

He remembered the first time she had seen his face. He had tried to fight the demon, but it had a way of jumping out when he didn't want it to. She had screamed and he had run. Now she was wiping his forehead and he could feel her breath on his neck as she cleaned him off.

"There. All better." Her hand was on his cheek. He morphed back, she wasn't expecting it and she pulled back a little. "Don't scare me. Warn me next time."

"Sorry. wouldn't think that would scare you."

"Yeah well. ready to go Willow?"

"Yep."

They walked across campus. Buffy unlocked the door to their room and walked inside.

"Uh, Buffy?"

"Oh sorry. promise you'll be good."

"Buffy?"

"Oh come in." She smiled. Willow flumped on her bed.

"Well, I suppose you two want to be alone?"

"I don't think that was ever the wisest idea."

"Right."

"So, Willow, how've you been?" He asked.

Buffy stared at him as Willow told him ever detail of the past couple months. The three spent the entire night talking. The sun came up and Buffy quickly closed the blinds. She missed her dreams. She wasn't sure which she liked more, seeing him or seeing the dreams. At least in the dreams, she got to be close to him. That damn curse!

PART 6

She had to go to class. Had to see Riley, knowing Angel was sleeping on her bed in her dorm. She walked with Willow.

"How'd Riley take it?"

"Well, he wasn't really sure. He was kind of shell shocked. He said he loved me."

"What?"

"Yeah, well, I told him I loved Angel, and I couldn't be with him."

"Oh. Poor guy!"

"Well, I feel bad, but he slept with Faith!"

"Well. that's sort of not his fault, how would he've known?"

"Angel would've."

They sat down in class. Riley had said nothing, he said nothing all class long and when they were leaving, he continued to say nothing. Buffy was glad, she didn't want to say anything to him. She had nothing to say.

"I'm going to see Tara, 'k?"

"Later."

Buffy walked back to the dorm and opened the door. He looked so peaceful while he slept. She just sat on the floor and watched him. Twenty minutes later he began to stir. He opened his eyes and smiled. She leaned over to him and his lips met hers. She snuggled up next to him and his arms wrapped around hers. His hands found their way under her shirt and his lips were moving to her neck. His tongue slid along her skin. She moved her hands under his shirt and made contact with his chest. He was so cool, she just wanted to make him warm.

She felt so good. So right, so perfect to him. Her skin was so warm and he smelled the vanilla perfume on her neck. He nibbled on her ear and she responded on his. Her hands were all over him, around him, her tongue on his neck and in his mouth and all over. He kissed her neck even more and saw it. He pulled away and sat up.

She was stunned. "What's wrong?"

"Buffy, we know we can't. there's no sense. one day we are going to go too far and you'll have to."

"Shhhh." she put her lips over his to quiet him.

He hesitated, but she was too tempting. He kissed her, and sooner than he knew he was taking off her shirt, ripping it off. Her hands went to her back and took off her bra. He found her breasts with his tongue. He was kissing her. Smelling her sweet skin, tasting it in his mouth. She clawed at his shirt and it too came off, faster than hers had. Her mouth explored his bare chest. He put his hands through her hair, around her neck.

He flashed. there was another woman he had done that to. He stood up and the bubble popped.

"Angel, as long as we stop before. I don't see why we can't."

"Because of that." he grabbed her hand and pulled her in front of the mirror. He pushed her hair aside and kissed where he had fed from her. "Because I did that, and because right now, I am not in this room."

"I may be a blond, but I can tell you you're definitely in this room because I have never enjoyed myself this much in this room."

"Buffy."

"Angel, the normal life thing isn't working for me." She sunk down to the ground holding his legs. She was crying. He hated to see her cry. He knelt down and cradled her in his arms. Her warmth made him tingle. He just held her and she wept.

How could she tell him? How could she make him understand what leaving her had done? She let the tears fall and he held her. The tears slowed.

"Angel?"

"Yes?"

"Angel, have you ever had a dream that you wished was reality?"

"Every night for the past nine months."

"Angel, I've been having dreams. Real dreams, all night long." She turned and looked at him. "Angel." she was about to confess her dreams, "Angel, as long as I live, these dreams, I'll never forget them, I'll never forge. oh god!" She clasped her mouth. Was it possible? That sounded so familiar. Why? Had it? It had! It wasn't a dream, he had been warm, she heard his heartbeat. She closed her eyes and the tears fell and she slammed against him and started screaming, "Why!?"

PART 7

He had watched her. Was it possible? Could she remember? NO, the Oracles had said that the day would be erased. She was grabbing him, scratching his back screaming, "Why!?"

He remembered, was it possible it hadn't been erased? Could it be? She cried and screamed for a long time. She finally quieted. Her breathing slowed and he felt it on his chest. She just sat, quietly, between his legs, just laying, still. Only in his dreams had she remembered. She said she would never forget, but she had. She had kissed him and then she came in to the office and so it was. The forgotten day, his burden to bare, to remember. His pain, his torture.

He thought back to her eyes, crying, begging him to change it back, to take away the choice he had made. He had wanted to, wanted to take those last five minutes and drown himself in her warmth. He had told her. Maybe that had been wrong. He wanted to break the silence and tell her, make her understand. But he couldn't be sure.

"Why?" She broke it, she reached over him and pulled the blanket from her bed over her bare upper half. "Why did you do it?"

"Why what Buffy?"

"Why did you ask for it back? Why would you do that when we had everything we wanted?"

"Buffy, I don't kn."

"Don't play dumb Angel, I heard your heartbeat, I felt you warm inside me. We ate ice cream and made love all day. Why did you do it?"

"Buffy, I had to."

"No you didn't. You're scared. You're scared to just be. You're scared to be happy, scared you don't deserve it, scared that if you're not untouchable that I won't want you, scared that. you're just scared. It's not fair, you had no right to take the choice away from me. You take away all my choices. You just leave as you see fit. Angel, can't I make a decision? Tell me really, why?"

"Because you could die if you had to protect me. I couldn't fight. I was helpless. Do you want to have to bury me? Is that something you want to have to do?"

"At least then I could own the memory of having been with you and having been happy. At least then I could remember what it was like to make love to you with sun beating down on us. Eating ice cream with you, eating chocolate. do you have any idea how sad I am? Of course you don't. You never ask. Never say, 'hey Buffy, feel like shit today?' I'm sick of having to be all-perky-Buffy. It's not fair. Angel, I would rather be sitting here with your arms around me knowing I can never feel you inside me again, than not have you at all."

"You say that now, but. in a year, in two. and what about me? You'll get older, never get to have kids, never get to have sex again, because of me?"

She stood up and put on another shirt. "Don't you get it Angel?! If I'm not with you, I don't ever want to have it again. If it's not a life with you, it's not a life I want." She walked over to him. "Angel, take me with you."

"What?" She came close to him and she pulled him to her neck. Was she asking him to.?

"Take me with you. I don't want to live without you. Take me. Make me."

"Buffy, I won't. How can you ask me to do that?"

"Listen to me Angel! Listen to my heart, every beat is for you, take them inside you. Make the hurt stop. I'm begging you. take me with you. Listen to my blood. pumping away. it's calling you Angel. take it, answer the calls. You must have thought about it, so do it, take me."

She pushed him into her neck. He tried to resist, but he was listening, he was always listening. He had thought about it, she was begging him. Her blood, he remembered once before when he had fed. Her blood coursing through his body, a siege of emotions, memories, how good it had tasted on his lips, in his mouth. He grabbed her, put her at the angle he liked best, and he bit into her tender neck. The blood began flowing out, it splashed into his mouth. It had been too long. He drank. he couldn't stop.

PART 8

She felt him bite into her. It hurt, but not as much as living without him. She felt the blood dripping down her neck, she felt his tongue on her neck, felt him feeding from her, tasting her life. She could feel life leaving her. She whimpered, "Angel."

What was he doing? He pulled away. He looked into her eyes. She wasn't scared. She was ready for death, ready for immortality. He morphed back. He couldn't. He wouldn't. She was desperate, she didn't know what she was saying. The blood continued to flow out, oozing down her neck, it was so good, tasted so good in his mouth, slipping down his throat. NO! He put her on her bed and grabbed a towel, he had to stop the bleeding. His body screamed at him, drink! He couldn't. He wouldn't.

"Angel, no! Don't stop. I want to come with you." she said in a meek voice, and she slipped unconscious. How much had he taken? He didn't think that much. perhaps not. He heard the door open.

"BUFFY! GET AWAY FROM HER!"

"WILLOW! I can explain! She wanted me to, I, I stopped, she wanted to be like me." he began crying.

"YEAH RIGHT, ANGELUS. she wanted you to, likely story, get out! GET OUT! GET OUT OR I'LL KILL YOU!"

He left. He had to, Willow didn't know, and Buffy couldn't tell her. He ran, the sun had just set and he ran. He just kept running. He had to get away, he had to. He couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't believe it. He ran to Giles' and jumped in the car, and drove. He had to get away. he had to erase this from his memory, he had to get away.

She was groggy. it was dark all around, was she? She heard voices. it wasn't like she imagined it would be. She thought she would hear the blood, like Angel had said he did. She didn't hear blood, she heard her mother, "Buffy?"

'Mom?' She tried to speak, but she didn't hear her voice. She tried, but she couldn't.

"Buffy? You have to come back to me, you can't leave me like this, not by him."

She was not dead. Damn him! Why? She could remember him, on her neck, holding her, drinking her life, taking it into his mouth. She remembered him. she remembered her pleading to him. She couldn't be dead, not if her mom was talking to her. She was probably in the hospital. Where was he? Oh God, had someone.?

She didn't know what she was feeling? He had promised forever, and he had broken that promise and where was he now? They were connected. she was inside him, part of him, he had her blood inside. She would now bear more scars from him, two on her neck and the rest in her heart. She lay still, she had no choice, she just kept thinking, 'Angel. Angel. Angel. why did you fail me?'

He arrived in LA just after three in the morning. He opened the apartment door and went into the kitchen were he saw Buffy and himself, making love. Everywhere he looked he saw her. Everywhere he looked he was surrounded by memories and the taste of her in his mouth. Damn! Why did she have to taste so good? He couldn't tell which was better, the taste of her blood or the taste of her femininity, that taste of her wetness and the smell in his nostrils. He didn't know if she was dead or not. Had he killed her? How much had he drank? He couldn't remember, everything was fuzzy. Everywhere he went, he saw her. He laid on his bed and slowly fell asleep.

His dream that night was different from others. He saw Doyle. He missed him.

"Angel? How ya been buddy? The Powers That Be tell me you had an exciting night?"

"Doyle? Exciting, not really, did I?"

"No you did not kill her. She's alive, she's in the hospital, but she's alive, and she needs you."

"Why are you here?"

"I have been sent by the Powers That Be."

"Powers that be what?"

"The Powers That Be in charge of life and destiny."

"Why?"

"Because they like you."

"That's great. but why are you here? I mean I am dreaming right"

"That you are my friend. I am here because they have a message. one that's important."

"Well?"

"Well, let me remember. let's see, something about your soul. and a demon."

"What? Doyle, you didn't forget did you?"

"NO, it's coming back to me. oh yeah, you have to meet the challenge, you have to face the challenge, three in fact. you are on your way to completing them."

"What else?"

"One other challenge. and you'll be rewarded, handsomely.but you have to be careful, for things are not always as they seem. Well, I have to go. because they are telling me I can't say anything else. you have to go. and so do I. Just remember, you never know your strength, until you've been tested, and you're being tested, I'll see you on the other side."

"Doyle! Wait!. thanks!"

"Good luck, and say hello to Cordelia!"

He woke up. a challenge? What challenge? What more could he endure? Where should he start? What was the reward? So many questions. Should he go back to Sunnydale or stay? Is that the challenge? He wish he had just a second to ask the Powers That Be. He fell back asleep, Buffy's blood coursing through his veins, and he dreamt of the forgotten day.

Doyle walked over to her and slowly unbuttoned her shirt. She felt his lips on her bare chest, felt his hands touching her. She took his shirt off and began her exploration, teasing him like he had teased her moments before. She met his mouth with the same eagerness as he ha.

She woke with a splitting headache. No fair, now the PTB are waking her up for these visions? She fell back and watched the pictures. "Oh my God!" she said, when the visions had stopped. She had to get to Angel, to tell him. Buffy was in trouble.

He woke up shaking. He saw Cordelia above him. Oh God, what had he done?

"Cordelia?"

"Yeah, wake up Angel! I have to tell you something."

"It's like in the middle of the night!"

"Yeah, believe me I'm more upset about this than you, Mr-I-can-stay-up-all-night, look, the PTB are getting way out of control, is there a way we can tell them I don't appreciate being woken up from a very nice dream?"

"You had a vision?" He sat up.

"Yeah, and you look like hell, I thought you'd be gone longer, how's the gang? You don't have any clothes on, I'll be up in the office, get dressed and come up." With that, she got up.

She got upstairs and sat down and the phone rang. "Angel Investigati. hey, it's like four in the morning, who's calling?"

"Cordelia?"

"Yeah, Willow, is that you?"

"Yeah, is Angel there?"

"Yeah do you need him?"

"No, Cordelia stay away from him, he's evil again, you have to try to stake him."

"What happened? Him and Buffy do the nasty?"

"Yeah, she's in the hospital, I got there and he was, he had bitten her."

"Okay." she hung up the phone. "That's funny, he could've taken me easy."

Just then Angel walked in. "What is it? What'd you see?"

PART 9

She could hear the voices more clearly. She tried to make her fingers move. She tried to speak.

"Buffy?"

"Mom?"

"Buffy, you're waking up! I'll go get a doctor."

"No, Mom!" she swallowed. it hurt to talk, but she had to. "Angel."

"Angel is being dealt with Buffy, you don't wo."

"Mom, no! Don't kill him! He didn't."

"Buffy, what are you saying?"

"Mom. no.." But she couldn't find the words and she slowly slipped away.

"Okay, mister, you stay right over there. don't come closer or I'll."

"Cordelia?" He moved closer. and she carefully kept her distance, she was alone with him. But still, it didn't make sense, why hadn't he grabbed her earlier? Why was he sleeping when he could have been feeding?

"Cordelia, what are you. have you spoken with someone from back home?"

"As a matter of fact yes, and so you just stay over there."

"Cordelia, how's Buffy?"

"Huh?"

"How is she? She isn't. dead is she?"

"No, she's in the hospital, now you just sit right there and don't move, be a good vampire, while I go get a stake."

"Cordelia. no!"

"No what? Don't kill you? I told you I would if you ever."

"I didn't! I mean I did, but she asked me to. I bit her, but I stopped, but then Willow came in and she told me to leave and I had to, I mean, we didn't, we just. she remembered."

"Remembered what?"

"She remembered in a dream, that I was human, and that she was here, and we."

"Oh. So you're not?"

"No, we didn't, I'm not. I'm Angel, not Angelus and I know you probably aren't going to believe me, but if I was him, I would have taken you by now. Why would I have left when Willow told me to? I could've taken her too."

"I know, Angel, I can see it in your eyes. Wanna tell me about it?"

"We were sitting there, we had been kissing and we stopped, and she asked me why I had changed back. We were arguing a little and she begged me to take her with me, to make one of me, she was crying and pushing me into her neck and I did, but then I realized what I was doing and I stopped and tried to stop the bleeding, I didn't think I'd taken that much, but she passed out and Willow came in, and I ran."

"Okay. then you came back here."

"Yeah, and I had a dream, Doyle came and told me that I had met two challenges and that there was one more I had to face and then I would get a reward. That's what he said, that the PTB liked me, and they were happy. and you had a vision, what did you see?"

"I saw Buffy. I saw her with this big demon guy and he had these poky thingies and you were on the floor and you were bleeding pretty bad and then he went after Buffy and. and then it was over. I think she died. I've never felt so sad with a vision, it was like I could feel all this pain and sadness and grief. Angel, it scared me."

He walked over to her and hugged her. "We're on our way to Sunnydale, and I'll tell you about Adam on the way."

They had just left when the phone began to ring. What did I do? What if it's too late? What if Cordelia already. no be positive Willow. She let the phone ring and ring and ring. She couldn't bare to put it down, she couldn't think of what happened.
She was behind clouds that she couldn't get past. She didn't know why the darkness was so lonely. Was this what it was like for him? Lonely and scary. Where was he? Was he. was he dust? Why hadn't he finished what he started? Did he want her to die? She just wanted to hear his voice once more.
He arrived in Sunnydale, once again. They pulled up to the hospital and climbed out of the car. It was night again, and visiting hours were over. They snuck into the intensive care room. He approached her. She looked so pale, paler than himself. So weak. Her face was frozen in time, the look in her eyes as she whispered his name. Why hadn't she been frightened? She trusted him, trusted him enough to give him her life.

He could still taste her in his mouth. He took her hand in his. It was so cold, like his own. Had he done this to her? He had. How could he have done that?

She felt his presence. She didn't hear any words, but she felt him take her hand in his own. His hand was so warm, she couldn't remember what the dream was and what was real. She was confused. She felt his lips press down on her forehead. She wanted to reach him, to tell him what she knew. She was fighting the fog in her head. She had to get out of the clouds. 'Angel. Angel.' she called to him, 'Angel. Angel.' she tried, she was reaching out to him, "Angel."
She had said his name. He heard it. "Buffy. it's me, I'm here, come back to me, you have to come back to me so we can make this right. Please come back to me."

Her eyes opened slowly and he gazed into her eyes. They looked so lonely, so scared, weak and a tear fell onto her face from his own.

He was leaning over her and she put her hand to his cheek and caressed it. He was crying. She had never seen him looking sad, no she was wrong, she had, two minutes before the day was erased. She reached up and pulled his face to hers and kissed him, tears running down their cheeks. He was so beautiful.

"My Angel!" She looked up at him and the light from the ceiling illuminated around him.

"HEY! GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER! YOU MONSTER!" It was her mother.

"MOM!" It hurt to scream. "Mom, it's not what you think, Mom, he didn't do it to hurt me. I asked him to, I. it hurts so much not having him, I asked him to make me. to take me with him forever. Mom, he's not. he's my Angel."

"Some Angel, you do this to someone you're supposed to love? You claim to care but you've hospitalized her twice."

"And both times were my choice Mom. I told him to, it's not his fault, it's min."

Just then she saw Xander come flying into the room at Angel with a stake in his hand, "NOOOO!!!!!" She tried to get up, but it was too late, Xander was on top of Angel. "Xander, NO!"

Xander got up, and the stake was not in his hand. Buffy looked for it, frantically searching, praying, 'not the heart.'

It stung. He had always wondered what it would be like. He felt weak, he had heard her scream. Maybe she was better off without him. He glanced up at her once more and then fell to the ground.
PART 10

"ANGEL!" It hurt, like hell, but she had to get up. She ripped out the wires from her arms, but she didn't feel them. She fell at his side, and turned him over she had to get it out, to undo what had been done.

"Buffy. I." he spoke. She grabbed the stake, had he been lucky? It was the right spot, or was it? She couldn't tell, her eyes were clouding over with tears and she stared into his eyes and she knew. How long did she have to say goodbye? It wasn't enough.

He felt her roll him over, he felt the stake leaving his body. He looked into her eyes and saw how much she was willing to give up to have him. Why had he been so stupid? He remembered the last time he had been dying, before the first drop of blood entered his mouth. 240 years or more flashed before him, the times with Buffy. He tried to tell her that he loved her, but he was slipping away. He closed his eyes, waiting for what was next.
This had not been part of the plan. This was not in the deck. How to undo what was done? How to save him? Could it be done? I had the power, but should I? This was not part of the plan. Fast thinking was called for.

The decision was made, and time was frozen. I floated into the room. I became everyone. The thoughts they had at that instant. I am the creator. I am the one who sends each to his or her destiny. The hearts in the room were momentarily stopped. I had to fix it. This was not what I had planned for these two. They were transcendent, bound to each other. They would always find each other, their souls were one. They had been my star-crossed lovers centuries ago, they were again. I created them and they would keep coming back. I remembered the stories of such a transcendent love, held across time. The time had gotten away from my predecessor and
I had made him what he is.

This was not to have happened so soon. His death was not to be now, he hadn't earned it. I walked to him and reached into his body. I held his heart in my hand and I felt it healing itself, becoming whole again. I picked up the stake and marked it with the symbols they knew best. I touched my girls face, so full of fear and sadness. I knew what is in store for her. She has served me so well, she deserves more than I can give her, but this one thing I can. I glance to them all, and wondered if he could meet the challenge that still lies ahead. I smiled and floated away to watch my children. And time began again.

He wasn't turning to dust. Everyone saw it get him in the heart. She looked down at him and waited. She sat there with him in her arms waiting, for him to fall apart. She sat there for twenty minutes. He sat up and she looked at him. No one knew what was going on.
He had felt it, pierce his heart. He had felt it, he knew where it had hit. He had felt it go in. He was sure of it. Maybe this was the hell he would live in, forever. Maybe this was his punishment, watching Buffy continue, watching her grieve. He was afraid to speak, afraid to find out the answer to his question, was he still alive, or was he a spirit?

"Angel? Are you? I mean, do you feel.? I don't get it."

"Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"Oh good, I was afraid this was m." She picked up the stake and looked at it. It had had blood on it just a second ago, there was nothing now. Just four letters.

"Angel, look." she handed it to him and he smiled. "What?"

"TPTB."

"I don't understand."

"The Powers That Be." Cordelia came in, "TPTB are the The Powers That Be, where I get my visions from. Who the Oracles work for, that's who, the ultimate power."

"What do you think it means Angel?"

"Probably that they fixed it? I don't know. But I would be dust by now, if." She grabbed him and pulled his lips to hers. The same lips that had dined on her red life, twice, the same lips that had brought to ecstasy before. The lips would never touch her in that way again. She wanted to be close to him, she was now, she was underneath his skin, inside him, like he had been in her.

He couldn't believe it. Yet again, The Powers That Be had saved him, given him another chance. He wrapped his arms around her, allowed her tongue to enter his mouth, savored the taste of it, touched it with his, massaged her pain as best he could. He pushed into her mouth, the only part of his that could ever be inside her. His body made him aware of how badly she drove him mad with need to be close to her. He had to stop. He pulled out and held her close to him. He looked around and everyone, besides Cordelia, was shocked that he wasn't killing them all.

A couple minutes later a nurse came in and put Buffy back in bed. She put the tubes back in and he sat next to her while she explained everything to everyone. Her mother didn't trust him. He knew that. She hated him for doing this, he hated himself. In a few hours Buffy was sleeping and he was told to leave, everyone was ushered out the door.

"I want you to stay away from my daughter."

"Joyce."

"That's Mrs. Summers to you, and I want you away from her."

"Mrs. Summers, you heard Buffy, Angel did what she asked, it was her choice. She was sad and she was confused, but she loves him and he loves her and you have no right to say that to him." Cordelia felt awful. She knew how much Angel would beat himself up over these this. How much pain he was in all the time, how much he agonized over Buffy and what he had done. How dare she say that to him, she had no idea how it felt to be him.

"Mrs. Summers, with all due respect, you don't know what you're talking about." Willow stood with her on this. Cordelia was glad she was not the only one who was supporting Angel on this.

"How can you say that? He almost KILLED her!"

"Xander, I know you've never been on the Angel-bandwagon, but you don't know anything either. You can't possible know what he feels like. How dare you pass judgment on someone like that. You were always yelled at me in high school because I passed judgment on everyone else and now here you are."

He couldn't believe it. She had grown up. What had happened to her? What happened to the bitch he had known and loved? If she believed in Angel, perhaps he should back off, let Buffy make up her own mind. "Fine, Cordelia, have it your way, just keep Dead Boy away from me and my neck!"

He heard her calling, "Angel!" He ran to her bedside. "Stay here with me tonight. Sit with me. Please don't leave me."

"I won't." Everyone left for the night and he was left alone. He held her hand and he saw the ring, she was still his. He kissed her ring, her hands were cold to his lips. He pulled the covers over her and sat by her bed, watching her sleep, so peaceful.

On to Part Eleven